Fiancee may have a different purpose! - Pls. advise

[Tahoma 2,291]

@ Tahoma

"He won't marry her unless she takes his last name? Is this his idea of true love?" > I guess. Having his last name after marriage would mean that she's a "Mrs" already...otherwise, people might still think that she is still single

This makes no sense at all. I'm still trying to figure out his logic. Why would people think she is single?

No matter what her name is, all of the family and his friends would know they are married. That leaves strangers. Strangers would see her wedding ring before they would know her name. How would strangers know that she was using her maiden name anyway? And who introduces their wife as "Mrs."? And who would introduce themselves as "Mrs."?

Your friend is behaving as strangely as his fiancée is behaving.

[Donna A 4]

If he is a us citizen then he has nothing to worry about. the background checks are already done at this point so her uncle is full of beans. i would get that uncles name and report him to immigration as he is helping his niece commit fraud and making threats on ur friend. as for the fiancee...kick her to the curb. she dont like him very much anyway.

[Gumbolette 58]

I feel sorry for your friend, for several reasons. On top of them is, begging for the girl's commitment after she brought her over here for marriage. The girl should at least be cooperative from his plan for marriage, after the marriage, that's the time she can focus on looking for work.

Another sensitive situation here is that, the uncle is pulling this scare feeling to the petitioner because he was a I.O, that the uncle knows better even they don't get married. He should know better than that.

If the girl hides from her friends and relatives that she went to the US, if she stays with relatives after she arrives in the US ( situation like this doesn't happen all the time), if she puts work over getting married, if she doesn't want to be a Mrs, and most importantly, admits that she doesn't love the guy very much... NOW, tell me if this is normal.

You decide.

[NVC FAN :( 18]

Liam

You can tell your friend that he has been taken for a fool, I can understand her wanting to stay at uncles house until the marriage, but it seems she focused on her career and not your friend. You can tell your friend that her uncle being a immigration officer means nothing. Tell your friend to cancel the wedding, wait till her I94 expires then contact uscis or ice to have her deported if she has not already left by then.

If he stays with this woman he is in for a life or misery and pain. if he is truely your friend you better make him see that before its to late!

gl

[Atencio 43]

Your friend is behaving as strangely as his fiancée is behaving.[/color]

Yeah I agree. Some of the "problems" you mention your friend saying are indeed problems, some seem too silly for lack of a better term.

[calico1 1]

Unless your friend wants a life of complete hell and misery..I would seriously suggest to him to dump this woman as fast as he can. Alot of men think the gals in the philippines are something they simply are not..best of luck for your friend.

[af_phils 0]

Your friend simply has to inform immigration in the form of a letter stating that he has canceled his marriage plans and has arranged and provided for her return flight home. Whether she stays or goes is up to her. Her family will realize they with have to deal with her TNT status if she stays.

His biggest problem is having to deal with the shame of a canceled wedding.

The problem with these so-called 'conservative' arrangements is that they can be used to distance a fake romantic relationship because it makes it easier for a non willing partner to go through the process. In other words, if there is little or no intimate relationship and the shots are being called between her family and him, your friend is being duped.

[rlogan 2,036]

We have some reading-challenged members saying the problems are arose from and are simply name-change or other trivial issues.

But she actually stays at her aunt & uncle's residence about 10 mins. away from my friend's house. (During the K1 process, it's been agreed & filed on the application that she'd be staying with him in his house, but she changed her mind after getting her visa. (She's supposed to be conservative and can't stay with him under one roof until they get married. My friend understands & he's ok with that)

This was before the name change issue: She broke the agreement on living together.

She is also a liar. She became "conservative" after she got the visa. She agreed to live with him before applying. Either way, a liar.

she said "she's keeping her last name". she said it's her right not to use my friend's last name. Her main reason being it might affect her papers/documents, etc regarding her NLEX/nursing license

Also a lie in light of all the other evidence (especially keeping her marriage secret). Countless millions change their names every year, no problem.

My friend said that she even told him that "she doesnt love him that much anyway".

How can people read that and say he is behaving strangely? Is this what your fiance told you too?

Last night, my friend & the fiancee with each other's folks had a talk to resolve the issue. No resolution. The immigration officer uncle even threatened my friend that he's gonna do a background check on my him.

Threats from family. See Hopps red flags pic. They're really stacking up.

Anyway, i was thinking..what if the fiancee is indeed being brainwashed by her folks & decide not to leave the US despite not getting married, what are the consequences? Can my friend force her to leave the US? Can he report her to the UCIS for not leaving? Will my friend get in trouble for not marrying her cuz of that "last name" issue?

All he has to do is refrain from the marriage. He could report to USCIS that there was no marriage, but she is not his responsibility.

1. the fiancee stays with her folks..& everytime my friend would pick her up, she has to take her home at a certain time. She has a curfew and she's already 25 years old..but my friend understand that since she's living with her folks

This could be cultural but my suspicion is that if you investigate this 25 y.o.'s dating habits with other men the story will be different.

2. accdg to my friend, his fiancee a supposedly very private. Her coming to the US is known to her family only & NOT to others like friends, etc. He said that no one really knows that she came to the US. And that she has a Facebook account but keeps it to herself. She doesnt tell him nor add him to her friends list. It's just so weird to be that so private. Maybe she's hiding something. Maybe she really have a real boyfriend or something somewhere. What do you think?

In conjunction with not changing her name, obviously she doesn't want people to know she is getting married. The secret face book account would be interesting.

I hope im wrong but i think the fiancee and her uncle & aunt may have planned this all along; come to the US & find a way to fix things for her to stay legally, etc.

We don't need to call Sherlock Holmes on this one.

[DaRoq 36]

[quote name=NVC FAN ' timestamp='1281795336' post='4129028]

...You can tell your friend that her uncle being a immigration officer means nothing. Tell your friend to cancel the wedding, wait till her I94 expires then contact uscis or ice to have her deported if she has not already left by then.

if a guy threatened me like that, i'd surely be looking for ways to get the SOB fired. i also wouldn't be waiting for the 90 days to run out, because i think if she goes TNT he is accountable for her status. better to let immigration know early of her flight risk.

Unless your friend wants a life of complete hell and misery..I would seriously suggest to him to dump this woman as fast as he can. Alot of men think the gals in the philippines are something they simply are not..best of luck for your friend.

you're right. just because a woman is poor, it doesn't mean she doesn't have any pride. and many of them swallow their pride just so they can get out of their situation in the philippines. they know that [some] men are looking for women like her for very specific reasons, so there may be some hidden resentment that will come out once the woman realizes that they have other options. Eddie Murphy touched on this in his standup act more than 20 years ago. most men would do well to listen to him...

The problem with these so-called 'conservative' arrangements is that they can be used to distance a fake romantic relationship because it makes it easier for a non willing partner to go through the process. In other words, if there is little or no intimate relationship and the shots are being called between her family and him, your friend is being duped.

there is no reason why any man, in this day and age, should be buying a car without test-driving it first.

[jsnearline 2]

If the uncle really works for Homeland Security, then report him. See the link below to find out how.

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=4a6e0b89284a3210VgnVCM100000b92ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=4a6e0b89284a3210VgnVCM100000b92ca60aRCRD

Edited August 16, 2010 by jsnearline

[TravellingNomad 12]

what's the status on this? OP...have you told your friend to start reporting to USCIS the development on his K-1 petition? the girl's uncle is blowing smoke out of hiss @ss. this ain't the freakin' Philippines where the "padrino system" always come into play. report this lowlife to the link provided above. i bet you he's probably too low on the totem poll for upper management to just give him a slap on the wrist. indicate on the complaint that he is using his position as an IO to threaten your friend and may be planning with the fiancee on how to keep under the radar of ICE.

[TOM&Riz 4]

Well fact of the matter is if the marriage part doesnt work out and it sounds like theres issues, she really doesnt need him for a visa... I mean she is a potential RN candidate she has lot's of visa avenues... something seems fishy here in tuna town hmmmmmm

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

SURE SMELLS TO ME LIKE A SCAM AND VISA FRAUD. SHE SHOULD BE REPORTED TO USCIS AND DEPT OF HOMELAND SECURITY AND DEPORTED AND I WOULD ALSO CONTACT THE US EMBASSY IN MANILA AND HAVE HER PUT ON THE VIAS BANNED LIST:angry:

[TravellingNomad 12]

but even though she's a potential RN candidate, she still came over here under false pretenses...and that's fraud. she took the easy way to get over to the other side of the pacific while there are thousands like her back home doing it the legit way.

[TOM&Riz 4]

but even though she's a potential RN candidate, she still came over here under false pretenses...and that's fraud. she took the easy way to get over to the other side of the pacific while there are thousands like her back home doing it the legit way.

allegedly...