no PMs

[lgg 2]

Bern, COOL, you're going to interview soon -- very exciting -- if you need a hand with anything let me know, okay?

La Souris, Bonjour, ma belle... sorry for being so un-chatty -- just getting used to actually living here. It's a lot harder than I'd thought, for the first time in my life, I am suffering from some home-sickness, who knew???

Wyatt? you already know what I think...

Nev? Where you be, sister?

to everyone else, hey, hope you all had some good coffee... I really feel the loss of that hour, it should NOT be almost 4pm right now -- i am off to go have a late lunch/early dinner with some friends here in MD... I just wanted to ask all my Canadian friends here this, the ones that are living in the US with their spouses/spouses to be now... have you ever felt homesick? it's so odd I don't miss one thing per se but I miss my routine and my jobs and my friends and the 'thing' that is Canada I suppose -- I am THRILLED to be here and my husband and I are awesome and he rocks but I never expected myself to feel this way and I realize that acclimatizing is a little more work than I had thought.

I do love living where I do though for the first time in my life I actually want/need to drive -- can't wait to get that done. I love the woods and the trees and the quiet here. I love our house and being here and I can't wait to get everything else on the go but first? I have to get my license and a car and then I can go from there.

I LOVE that my cat is here -- she's adapted so well to the her new couch under the window. She and the other cat are NOT friends at all -- in fact, I think the other cat mortally hates me for bringing my cat here. She won't let me pet her and she meows at me with such urgency and then swats my hand away when I try to pet her. At least my old lady cat is semi-happy.

So... that's a little PM for all my friends here. Hope you're all doing well too.

Edited March 14, 2010 by lgg

[Kathryn41 3,205]

(((((((((((((((((((((((lgg))))))))))))))))))))))))

-- just getting used to actually living here. It's a lot harder than I'd thought, for the first time in my life, I am suffering from some home-sickness, who knew???

.. I just wanted to ask all my Canadian friends here this, the ones that are living in the US with their spouses/spouses to be now... have you ever felt homesick? it's so odd I don't miss one thing per se but I miss my routine and my jobs and my friends and the 'thing' that is Canada I suppose -- I am THRILLED to be here and my husband and I are awesome and he rocks but I never expected myself to feel this way and I realize that acclimatizing is a little more work than I had thought.

Yeah, this one takes you by surprise. I know I went through that as well - and interestingly, it wasn't so much right at first but after I had been here for a while. It hit me all that I had 'left' behind especially when I didn't have anything new that I was really comfortable with with which to replace it. It was all strange at first although being with my husband made it all much better than if I had been on my own. Even now I still miss my routine and my job and my 'life' as it was back in Canada. This is totally normal, but even though the US and Canada are very similar in many ways, it takes moving here to discover just how different they are in other ways and that you actually do need to acclimatize. You will be noticing all of the 'differences' over the next year especially but it will eventually begin to feel like 'home' again. The sad thing is that you can't ever really 'go back' to the routine in Canada, etc. even if you did return because you are a different person by then (oh, yes, this changes you!) and life moves on. Allow yourself to mourn what you have lost even while you celebrate what you have gained.

I do love living where I do though for the first time in my life I actually want/need to drive -- can't wait to get that done. I love the woods and the trees and the quiet here. I love our house and being here and I can't wait to get everything else on the go but first? I have to get my license and a car and then I can go from there.

That made such a big difference to me. I spent a lot of my first year here just driving - getting lost, discovering how to get home again, learning about my town and the neighbouring towns. My sense of direction was so totally screwed up at first and I had no sense of which way was north/south/east/west. Driving around helped me to re-establish my reference points and orient myself again - so expect that to happen too when you are able to drive.

I LOVE that my cat is here -- she's adapted so well to the her new couch under the window. She and the other cat are NOT friends at all -- in fact, I think the other cat mortally hates me for bringing my cat here. She won't let me pet her and she meows at me with such urgency and then swats my hand away when I try to pet her. At least my old lady cat is semi-happy.

It made such a difference for me to that I had my cats with me. They had to adapt as well and some of those took time. It was just so reassuring having them here. One of the things you can do to help your 'new' cat adapt to the changed situation is to get a Feliway room diffuser. It contains pheromones that cats naturally have in their cheeks that they 'mark' you with by rubbing their faces against you. These are reassuring scents that only cats can smell and it helps to reassure the cats that this is a 'safe' area as they smell these positive pheromones. You plug it into an outlet - you will be totally unaware of it but your cat will know and should start relaxing and becoming less upset with you. Take over the feeding and care of the other cat as well and use treats to reinforce your presence in a positive way. Catnip and catnip toys are also effective ways to gain a new cat's trust. Try playing with her with a laser light. She just needs to learn to associate you with 'good' things as well as with 'changes'. It will take time - you have definitely turned her world upside down too, and cats really don't do well with change. You can buy the Feliway diffusers online through Amazon or Petguys.com or a similar retailer. Shop around for the best price (don't forget to look at shipping costs). DON"T go to PetSmart or Petco because they will charge you double the price you can get it for online including shipping. Even still it may seem a bit pricey but once you have the diffuser you just need to buy refills. I have 2 in the house and they are definitely life-savers. I am positive it would help your new cat adjust.

So... that's a little PM for all my friends here. Hope you're all doing well too.

[minnew 4]

Bern, COOL, you're going to interview soon -- very exciting -- if you need a hand with anything let me know, okay?

La Souris, Bonjour, ma belle... sorry for being so un-chatty -- just getting used to actually living here. It's a lot harder than I'd thought, for the first time in my life, I am suffering from some home-sickness, who knew???

Wyatt? you already know what I think...

Nev? Where you be, sister?

to everyone else, hey, hope you all had some good coffee... I really feel the loss of that hour, it should NOT be almost 4pm right now -- i am off to go have a late lunch/early dinner with some friends here in MD... I just wanted to ask all my Canadian friends here this, the ones that are living in the US with their spouses/spouses to be now... have you ever felt homesick? it's so odd I don't miss one thing per se but I miss my routine and my jobs and my friends and the 'thing' that is Canada I suppose -- I am THRILLED to be here and my husband and I are awesome and he rocks but I never expected myself to feel this way and I realize that acclimatizing is a little more work than I had thought.

I do love living where I do though for the first time in my life I actually want/need to drive -- can't wait to get that done. I love the woods and the trees and the quiet here. I love our house and being here and I can't wait to get everything else on the go but first? I have to get my license and a car and then I can go from there.

I LOVE that my cat is here -- she's adapted so well to the her new couch under the window. She and the other cat are NOT friends at all -- in fact, I think the other cat mortally hates me for bringing my cat here. She won't let me pet her and she meows at me with such urgency and then swats my hand away when I try to pet her. At least my old lady cat is semi-happy.

So... that's a little PM for all my friends here. Hope you're all doing well too.

I am homesick for my friends & family in Canada, there are times I wish I could just say.."ok I'll be right over." Phone calls and emails have been the only way to stay in touch, as well as Facebook. I know they will always be there for me but sometimes people & situations change & you find out who your "real" friends are once you move to the USA.

I love the area, the woods, the trees, the weather, the convenience and variety where I am now. I never drank a whole lot of coffee or eat too many poutines, but its the problem now that if I want it, I can't just go to the nearest Timmies or A&W and get it. I miss Canadian healthcare, the system here is confusing even though TriCare is good so far. It helps to know that there is another Canadian in the area (Inky), but so far it is the only one I have met and maintain continuous contact with, also helps that she understands being a military spouse.

Anyways, I know what your going through, it's exciting & joyous to be reunited with our fiances/spouses in America but at the same time a little sad for what you left behind in Canada.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Like you, I couldn't put my finger on any one thing that I missed - well, outside of my Mom, of course - but found it very hard to not be in my old routine, my old life. My first month was very, very tough... Tougher than I imagined in a lot of ways. I cried almost every night here.

It's getting better... slowly. But it is tough.

Stuff slowly started getting easier:

...Once I didn't have to use cash anymore, because I was added to the bank account and credit card.

...Once I didn't have to rely on Ben to drive me somewhere.

...Once I finally fell into somewhat of a routine, albeit in many ways, a cosmetic one for sanity sake only.

But I certainly agree that I never imagined how much work all of it would be.

[kizza 1]

aww, Im sorry Lgg.

I cant offer much help as Im still home, but this is what Im most scared of in this process.

I hope you get into a new routine you love very soon.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

Like you, I couldn't put my finger on any one thing that I missed - well, outside of my Mom, of course - but found it very hard to not be in my old routine, my old life. My first month was very, very tough... Tougher than I imagined in a lot of ways. I cried almost every night here.

It's getting better... slowly. But it is tough.

Stuff slowly started getting easier:

...Once I didn't have to use cash anymore, because I was added to the bank account and credit card.

...Once I didn't have to rely on Ben to drive me somewhere.

...Once I finally fell into somewhat of a routine, albeit in many ways, a cosmetic one for sanity sake only.

But I certainly agree that I never imagined how much work all of it would be.

Big hugs your way...I remember when I first went for a haircut.....that was a good day. It was just Hair Cuttery, but it was really good to get out and talk with another woman. I didn;t care what we talked about.

[Sam and Ben 2]

Big hugs your way...I remember when I first went for a haircut.....that was a good day. It was just Hair Cuttery, but it was really good to get out and talk with another woman. I didn;t care what we talked about.

It's funny that you say that... I went to get my hair cut for the first time here in Florida about two weeks after my wedding (also at Hair Cuttery)... and my goodness, it was the best thing I ever did! Not even just talking with another woman, but also being pampered a bit so I could lose myself, filter out all of my thoughts while someone else worked on me. It was wonderful.

[trailmix 77]

Wyatt? you already know what I think...

PM to lgg: Background needed on this pls and ty.

[darkchilde794 5]

My situation is a little different because I lived in MD for a bit with the hubby then moved back to Canada. And in some ways, having moved around so much, Ive never really felt at home and this will be my first ever real home. However, I did miss my independence the first few weeks I was there. I missed making decisions without considering his POV, I missed getting in and out of the house on my own, I missed my own pay check Of course I missed my family in TO and I truly miss my friends -- I doubt Ill ever make such great friendships like from home, but being with my hubby offsets most of those longing feelings.

My friend, its gonna be tough for a bit especially if you live in the country without any means of transit. But once you get your set of wheels and explore your new hood, its gonna be better. Right now it feels like more of his home but not quite your home. But you will make your own routine, you will find your own niche, you will start to forge your own schedule and it will start feeling like home! Just hang in there! And we can always meet up for some good coffee if you need to vent. And I am more than happy to show you around town! (At least my parts of MD... yours is foreign to me as well!)

Sorry bout your cats though. Maybe give them more time to get used to... its only been a few weeks

*BIG HUG!*

[lgg 2]

For you TM, anything!

I've already been yacking to Wyatt about some of this stuff as we are buddies!

Thanks a lot to everyone who commented -- it feels a lot better knowing that i'm not the only sappy fool feeling these things -- it has surprised me to no end that I have even cried a few times about the things I left behind. it's so weird considering how happy i am with my husband and how we are here but again... he was never a question, you know?

But Kathryn41, thank you SO much for your feedback about the adjusting and the cats -- invaluable. I'm just surprised to feel this way as I have never, not once, felt homesick before especially since I am somewhere that I consider home...

But you all know what i'm talking about and that is more valuable than you all realize.

I think I might also go and get my haircut now!

xo

LGG

PM to lgg: Background needed on this pls and ty.

[lgg 2]

Thanks, dc... yeah, it's all of those things, a little bit of this and a little bit of that -- I know for a fact that until I learn to drive I won't have that feeling of complete independence and I need a little bit of that for MY routine.

Thanks so much and of course... we WILL meet up at some point and hang out -- no doubt about that...

My situation is a little different because I lived in MD for a bit with the hubby then moved back to Canada. And in some ways, having moved around so much, Ive never really felt at home and this will be my first ever real home. However, I did miss my independence the first few weeks I was there. I missed making decisions without considering his POV, I missed getting in and out of the house on my own, I missed my own pay check Of course I missed my family in TO and I truly miss my friends -- I doubt Ill ever make such great friendships like from home, but being with my hubby offsets most of those longing feelings.

My friend, its gonna be tough for a bit especially if you live in the country without any means of transit. But once you get your set of wheels and explore your new hood, its gonna be better. Right now it feels like more of his home but not quite your home. But you will make your own routine, you will find your own niche, you will start to forge your own schedule and it will start feeling like home! Just hang in there! And we can always meet up for some good coffee if you need to vent. And I am more than happy to show you around town! (At least my parts of MD... yours is foreign to me as well!)

Sorry bout your cats though. Maybe give them more time to get used to... its only been a few weeks

*BIG HUG!*

[Jo&Si 9]

Hi

Sorry I have not been much present on VJ since a while...I am living with my parents and working...my mom is paralysed due to a stroke since 2006 and I'm helping them...so I have been very busy and didn`t have much time to be online...

Sorry about this lgg...I can`t help either I'm still home, I'm moving Tuesday so I will probably feel this way too in the next months or so...Especially that my eldest is going to have a baby this summer!!!

I'm not expecting to work before 2011...I want to be able to go back and forth to Canada to see my eldest and the baby...if I find a permanent work I could not go as much as I want...

Does someone experiment going thru Montreal airport POE??? I will activate K1 visa there....I'm not moving all my stuff and horse right now...(will be hard to leave my horse here) I want to come back this summer for my eldest and drive back my car and move my stuff at this time...

Any advice will be appreciated...thanks

Lgg, I'm sure you will feel better soon...it takes sometimes to get acclimate to a new environment...I have been in Caribbean alone during almost 3 years and it was not easy...I was wondering if taking dance lessons, painting lessons or anything else could help you ....I am thinking about this to help me to make news friends in Texas.

Take care

Jo

[KnJ 0]

This topic is of great comfort to me. On the surface here and home aren't that different but there are so many things that feel strange that I can't even really describe, maybe it's just homesickness.

I'm glad these forums exist.

[darkchilde794 5]

Maybe part of it too is the end of the chase (for the visa). It seemed like the visa consumed my life until I got it and moved to the US, and after reality set in. Hubby and I were long distance for 2 years before reuniting again... and the times we were together in those two years were always within the context of vacation and scheduled time together. It was always romantic, filled with dates and movies and eating out. Now its work, carpooling, schedules, bills...

I imagine its the same way for everyone who went through/is going through a visa journey. Now the visas there, youre reunited, theres this sense of reality that becomes more apparent. That in itself may also contribute to the bouts of uneasiness we have felt/are feeling now that we've moved here. But again, once we all settle in our new lives, it will definitely get better!

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Hi lgg!!

Glad to hear you're alive in well!

The homesickness thing gets a lot easier in time. It still pops up on ya every now and then at weird moments, but for the most part, that everyday feeling of being a little lost and a little out of place vanishes. The first month or so was hard for me, but now I've adjusted so well this is home to me. Having your hubby and your little fluff ball will work wonders