Married life is great

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

We live in the NorthWest Suburbs of Chicago so there's quite a diverse population living around here and we still get "looks" sometimes.

One more than one occasion someone has started peaking to her in Spanish.

My oldest daughter's boss saw Anna & I at the store once and asked her if she has a step-sister (CJ is 17, Anna is 24)!

I'm sure some of the looks are people trying to figure out what my relationship is to such a young girl (I'm 40 and look every day of it).

It doesn't bother us one bit, in fact we often laugh at their ignorance.

[loveaboo 0]

My husband is very observant and every time we're out, he notices people staring at both of us or just me. We just smile and they smile back and then they usually just leave us alone after. There are also people who really can't help it and will keep looking every now and then but we don't let them intimidate us. There are very few Filipinos here, so few that you won't see them unless you go to a Filipino store or attend a Filipino mass in another city. Maybe those people staring are just amazed seeing one, especially one with a white man in her arms.

Edited March 8, 2010 by loveaboo

[raquel_1208 1]

They thought your wife is hispanic and a woman marrying a caucasian is not acceptable in their culture.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

My husband is very observant and every time we're out, he notices people staring at both of us or just me.

I think people nowadays tend to stare in general. We are a generation who grew up on television shows that promote gawking and rubber-necking. We slow down to see an accident on the road. Staring is no longer considered rude or a taboo...and most people seem to be unaware they are doing it. I know I've caught myself doing just that.

Edited March 8, 2010 by Galt's gallstones

[~Johnny~ 27]

I used to live in Alaska and my ex-wife is Chinese who resembles Alaska Native. Most Alaska Natives resemble asians in appearance (but I think they look more similar to Japanese than Chinese). But one day we're eating in a restaurant with an Alaska Native buddy from college and a table full of Alaska Natives sitting next to us were making comments in their native language. Normally, we wouldn't know what they're saying because we don't speak the language. But our buddy was telling us that they were calling her names because she was with a white guy and that she was disrespecting her culture. We just laughed it off because they were too ignorant to even know that she wasn't even Alaska Native. But occasionally we did get stares in stores and places and at times I wondered if they were thinking the same about our mixing of the bloodlines. With that said, I live in California now and we have a very large Filipinio community. I doubt people will stare at us much over here, there's a lot more stanger things here to look at than an older guy with hot filipina wife. And anyway, screw em if they don't like it! Not their life, it's ours!

Edited March 8, 2010 by duplantisjj

[Boiler 43,759]

They thought your wife is hispanic and a woman marrying a caucasian is not acceptable in their culture.

Hispanic is caucasian...

[Michael and Milahjean 0]

We are planning on moving to Columbus, Ohio later this year from Nebraska. I've lived there for a year and I love it there. There's even a small Filipino population there...beats no Filipino population.

No worries in Columbus OH, there's a very large Filipina presence. We live in the Dayton area and we're surrounded by many, many, many Filipinos. Parties always.

M&M

[calico1 1]

It doesn't bother us one bit, in fact we often laugh at their ignorance.

The wife and I occasionally catch others looking at us as if they are trying to figure out just what race my wife is. I agree with Bob, the ignorance is almost entertaining, and at those infrequent times the wife and I look at each other and laugh. I guess that we are so into our own world we rarely give a thought to what anyone else thinks. Age seems to be a factor, we are a middle aged couple and most assume we have been together for along time, so the curiosity doesn't last long.

I sure can understand that the midwest could be an uncomfortable place for mixed couples, but considering the midwest was largely responsible for giving Bush 2 terms, well, enough said...no offense intended to midwesterners. Most american males who have married a filipina, been through the visa process and imported our wives here share our unspoken secret. We have one of the finest women in the world, we love our wives very deeply and we really don't care at all who thinks what. We are proud of our filipina's, we have learned alot about the Philippines and we are proud of that too.

[John&Juvy 36]

They are a lot of times flat out rude stares that show disgust. One time I saw a lady cover her mouth in disgust when she saw us together. Not that it's that bad all the time, but stuff like that has happened before. It's just not an easy thing for her to go from the open friendliness of the Philippines to the quiet, reserved and awkward indifference of the midwest.

Dont let other people think or their action towards both of you affect you too much. They reacted like that not because the person are you but the kind of person they are. Judgemental and rude people are everywhere.... You let them affect your life, it only make you unhappy and misserable with those low profile people. Enjoy and live your life with your wife. Dont worry about other people think and will say.

The 1st 3 months that I got here I also felt like everybody was staring at me and to my husband... I'm not sure if its because of our age gap or if its my color... Either way, It bothered me alot and added to my missery about coping of my life here in the U.S. I told to my husband about what I felt and thought about my observation and thought about it.. He just laughed and smiled at me and said that those people are not staring to us, he said I only felt like they "all" staring to us because I was the one who's feeling insecure about my self thinking that I am different. He commented also that so what the f**ck ever if some of those people was really staring to us.. he said that they were just probably envious coz his wife still ......... and not "old hag and sag" just yet LOL ( Pls no offense taking just typical husband comment to their love of their life lol ). Knowing my husband not bothered of anybody and his courage help me to get over with it. Almost 2 years now here, and never feel like everybody's staring at me again.. Sometimes their is really some that still looking to us... but instead of being bothered it chuckled me instead. Funny. What can I say... I love my husband dearly.. We are married and happy... and still, at the end of the night it's just me and my husband again.... and our family. Thats all matter .

[kev_n_jena 89]

"I didn't realize the full extent of how narrow-minded dumb hicks are in rural communities in the midwest until I got married to a foreigner and started walking around with her in the grocery store."

Well, first of all, we live in the "midwest" and I haven't noticed the staring being that bad. We've gone to small towns too. I'm from a town of 350 people so please don't throw the entire midwest under the bus.

We get the occasional glance but I don't know if its race. It may very well be the 20 year age gap and racial difference combined. I don't really care. Over the past 2 1/2 years that my wife has been here, I've actually only heard one rude comment. "talk about robbing the cradle" It was from a man with a "wife beater" shirt, long greasy hair, and unshaven. I just laughed because I'm sure it was prompted by jealousy.

On another occasion a man was staring at us in the local grocery store and I could tell he wanted to talk to me. After a minute or so he came up to me and very nervously said, "so where did you two meet?" I was kind of shocked since I had no idea who he was and it seemed like such an odd question. I answered, "We met online, she's from The Philippines." I could see the wheels turning in his head and he says, "oh! well, uhhh... I see you guys in here all the time and I just wondered" I bet he was surfing the net that night LOL

Anyway, we just hold our heads high and look right back if we do get a stare, and people usually turn away in shame. I'm proud of my wife, she's proud of me, that's what really matters.

[-B&T- 1]

Age difference, height difference could be the reasons, could be anything but why worry about it? As long as you both are happy that is all that matters .Don't mind these people, just give them a care-free, relaxed, gentle smile and they'll get over it. Smile! It's contagious!

[Old Dominion 26]

As an older caucasian married to a younger and very beautiful African, my fear was that this would happen to us when she moved her to this small, isolated town in the Appalachian mountains. Mixed marriage were illegal here even 40 years ago, and people were convicted under that law. There are almost no people here from overseas to start with, and a very small African-American population. Instead, there are those who walk up to start conversations - folks I've never met, even. I'd suggest finding a church home, if you don't have one, and rely on Sunday experiences to make her feel more comfortable. As to the OP, just get used to people who seem to be gawking. It may be for your racial difference, that they wonder what "kind" of Asian she might be, or that she's so young and beautiful that they can't figure out why she would marry someone as old and overweight as you might be

Edited March 8, 2010 by Old Dominion

[skidivawannabe 2]

So sad this still happens.

I have to admit, it happens a lot in the Philippines because people tend to think that an old caucasian man + young Filipina woman = customer and escort - - especially if they are walking around certain areas in the Metro. Don't shoot me for saying this, but it is a common perception.

Much more if you see a scantily dressed Pinay in Cafe Havana hanging out with a tourist.

[raquel_1208 1]

Hispanic is caucasian...

Sure if you say so.

[DainandVicky 4]

Being in the Midwest as well, I have to say this hasn't really been an issue for us.

I am in a city (Madison) that's known for being pretty liberal though. But even when we've ventured out a bit into some of the smaller surrounding communities I haven't really noticed much of this.

If anything if there is any, I think with us it's our height difference, I'm just shy of 6' and she's just barely over 5'. I did overhear one comment on our height difference once, but paid it no mind. We feel like we match just fine, so who cares what somebody else thinks.

I guess maybe I tend to think if people are staring it's because my wife is pretty sexy and I know I'd look at her haha. It's typically guys and I just give them the same "back the f*#k off" look that I'd give any guy eyeing my g/f or wife any other time in my life. But it's not often, and it's not blatant, at least for us.

I do think more people stared at me in the Philippines than at her here in Madison, but we were in Manila and Boracay, areas they are used to seeing whites fairly often; so even there it wasn't much or obnoxious.

I think at that old lady I would have put my fingers up at my head (like horns) and stuck out and wiggled my tongue at her, but that's just me.