I married a woman, not a country

[LvivLovers 39]

VV, just so you know. I did the same thing you did, but in Ukraine. Had to make a special trip to Kiev to get documents, get them apostilled, bribe people to do their jobs, etc. This was actually some of the most memorable parts of my adventure that I realy loved, it wasn't some sort of burden or big deal. The thing was, it took both me and my new wife-to-be to get it all done. I couldn't understand a bit of Russian or Ukranian but had a rough idea of the process (which she had no idea about). I got to see how great we worked together as a team...I knew right then from her handling of things with no complaints what kind of woman she was and that we'd always make a great team.

As far as the wedding thing goes...I think in general it's more important to the women than the men. I enjoyed everything quite a bit (my wife and her mother did a fantastic job preparing everything in a short time), but my wife dreamed of this day her whole life. I don't think any less of people that got married in any other way though...every couple has to decide what's right for them.

I don't know if or how many points I got for that...I never really thought about it. But for me, it's not about anything like that...it's just one of my goals in life to make that woman happy EVERY day that I can and I don't mind doing it one bit. There's nothing I love more than to see her happy. She does the same for me constantly. So silly or not, if I can do something that I think she'll enjoy or appreciate I'll do it. Whether it's flowers, watching a movie, celebrating some holiday I never celebrated before (she celebrates USA, Russian, Ukranian, Chinese, etc. btw...never misses anything lol)...it doesn't really matter...I'm game for it.

[Martyshk 137]

And yeah, Gary's coming over later and we're gonna braid each others' hair.

See what you did there????!??!?!?!......Now I'm gonna have to go and cut myself...... I thought we were gonna braid each other's hair tonight.. #######!!!!

[visaveteran 0]

Dear god, get over yourself visaveteran. "I took the road less traveled"???? That is just too funny. Maybe they should build one of those big old Soviet-style statues to commemorate your brave and selfless act. I mean, after all, it only happens about 20 million times a year, which pretty much makes you the Bear Grylls of the foreign-marriage community I guess.

And yeah, Gary's coming over later and we're gonna braid each others' hair.

You ever get married in Siberia in October? Yes, I would like that statue. Maybe a holiday for me...and another chance to buy your wife flowers!

I have to say, the hair braiding was funny.

[SMR 368]

My wife recently told me she would not have gone the K-1 route. I did not know this when I decided to go CR-1. But I was clear on the importance of this route and it did give me an interesting challenge and an amazing adventure. (I know how much you cool cats love the Russian adventures.)

And, of course, there is a lot of paperwork to prepare to get married in Russia. And this process is even harder outside the big cities like Moscow. So, while you jokers were whining and moaning about the USCIS, I was taking on even more aggravation dealing with Russian rules on marriage and needed paperwork and getting Appostille Stamps for all my US documents. I also had to do some bribing as it is required to wait 30 days to get married in Russia. So I had more expenses to beat the system. I got married in 5 days.

But it was all worth it.

I happen to think the way you start a journey with someone matters. How and where matter. You can play down the importance and make unconvincing comments about how fast the K-1 is versus CR-1...but when I processed through, the CR-1 was only 1 or 2 months longer and the benefits of the CR-1 made it a no-brainer to wait the small extra time. So I chose to start off in a good way...not a convenient way, or a easy way, simple way, cheap way, or a way which puts most of the burden on the woman.

I took the road less traveled.

But the real interesting and ironic aspect of this discussion is how blown-up the deal about buying flowers and going to Russian stores has been; yet the marriage ceremony gets relegated to really not important by all you Russkie-supporting, know-it-alls. All the Russo-centric men out there belittling me for not supporting my wife's culture and heritage for not celebrating some silly, communist holiday, are now singing a different tune. Why? Because getting married in Russia takes guts, sacrifice, money, energy, time and....heart. It was a big struggle for me but I walked my talk. I did it in the way she wanted and served her, her son, mother and other family members and friends. And it was what I wanted too. And immediately after our marriage I helped her phase out her business and prepare to transition to America. I didn't make her face that alone.

Yes, it's easy to "make points" with flowers and candy and suffering through Russian movies, but I didn't build points by marrying in Russia...I built a foundation. Any Tom, ####### or Harry can go K-1, run down to the local JR clerk's office, and go to the beach.

Mox, and Gary, his new Yes Man, suggested that with my CR-1 visa, I can easily dump my wife and ship her back to Russia and, viola, I'm single. They ask, "Who's going to know I got married in Russia?" Typical glib, cavalier thinking from Mox. The first thing is, at some point down the road, I'd have to take an oath or sign legal documents that I'm single or legally divorced if I want to remarry, legally file federal taxes, etc. I would never lie about these matters. I'm honest and I don't want to go to jail. Second, my wife holds a military ID card...a powerful, government document. My wife is in the system. I could only clear her name off the rolls with a legal divorce document. Same same with the VA rolls.

So, only a fool would think I can just dump my wife and I'm free to remarry, or free to continue to collect dependent money for a wife who I dumped and sent packing back to Russia. And then there's that small matter of the green card.

And if my wife didn't want to get married in Russia? Everybody here made a joint decision with his/her wife and chose the path that was best for them.

If your path works for you and your wife, good on ya.

My criticism of the way you view the international marriage thing is not really about whether things work between you and your wife. Maybe she likes things the way they are; I don't know. But I feel like you belittle the Russian people and culture in a way that is inconsistent, Amero-centric and ridiculous.

[visaveteran 0]

And if my wife didn't want to get married in Russia? Everybody here made a joint decision with his/her wife and chose the path that was best for them.

If your path works for you and your wife, good on ya.

My criticism of the way you view the international marriage thing is not really about whether things work between you and your wife. Maybe she likes things the way they are; I don't know. But I feel like you belittle the Russian people and culture in a way that is inconsistent, Amero-centric and ridiculous.

Tell me, where do must women want to live? Russia or the USA? It's wrong, IMO, to happily leave Russia and then speak of its greatness. Embrace Russia or embrace the USA. Choose. You can't have it both ways.

Choose your home. And honor it.

[TBoneTX 48,090]

I did it in the way she wanted

Isn't this the point, si man? The other Ameridudes did the same for their fiancees/wives, either as an outcome of consensus or by taking the lead (when the f/w preferred that or had no preference), si man.

The most important words in any relationship can be "Yes, Dear," particularly at strategic moments, si man.

The most important protocol concerns how one handles having to fart in bed (inquire for details within), si man.

The most important omission in this thread is the entirely inadequate trashing of Canadians, eh man, si man. Toward partial rectification:

Q: How did Canada get its name?

A: C eh N eh D eh, si man.

[Cixelsyd 1]

Choose your home. And honor it.

And while you're at it, better choose a state.

We don't like none of them people all livin n travlin to different states. Pick yer state n stay there.

Damn state hoppin hippies.

[Martyshk 137]

And while you're at it, better choose a state.

We don't like none of them people all livin n travlin to different states. Pick yer state n stay there.

Damn state hoppin hippies.

Pick a county too, goddamn people coming to my county for their groceries. There should be a law against that!

[Cixelsyd 1]

Pick a county too, goddamn people coming to my county for their groceries. There should be a law against that!

Well, them's not so bad. Long as they be sittin in the back of the bus n not drinkin from our fountains.

[SMR 368]

Tell me, where do must women want to live? Russia or the USA? It's wrong, IMO, to happily leave Russia and then speak of its greatness. Embrace Russia or embrace the USA. Choose. You can't have it both ways.

Choose your home. And honor it.

Actually, we plan on moving to Russia. That's where my wife wants to live. I don't ask other women very often. And when we get there, we'll continue to like the USA.

Is your brain presently exploding, comprehending how I can like the USA and Russia?

[Cixelsyd 1]

Actually, we plan on moving to Russia. That's where my wife wants to live. I don't ask other women very often. And when we get there, we'll continue to like the USA.

Is your brain presently exploding, comprehending how I can like the USA and Russia?

Hain't possible to like two countries. You gotsa pick, either you like Merica... or you like nothin.

I mean it just ain't right. It'd be like fergettin the pledge of allegiance durin intercourse.

[Martyshk 137]

It'd be like fergettin the pledge of allegiance durin intercourse.

Goshdarnit, I knew I was forgetting something

[TBoneTX 48,090]

It'd be like fergettin the pledge of allegiance durin intercourse.

"An' fer th' last cotton-pickin' time, Verleen, Ah am not takin' mah transmission out of th' bathtub!"

[Cixelsyd 1]

"An' fer th' last cotton-pickin' time, Verleen, Ah am not takin' mah transmission out of th' bathtub!"

Transmission in the bathtub!? What n Tar nation is that woman doin outta the kitchen?

[visaveteran 0]

The West Virginia lingo is not working boys. Try another approach. Like intellect.