Love in a no man's land-Seattle Times

[Chica Yeyé 41]

In all honesty.... cry me a river. there are folks amongst us, like sister estadia, that wait YEARS without being able to see their significant others.

Like sister Krikit said... there's always 2 sides to a story. If she misrepresented herself on entry, well, duh!

[trailmix 77]

In all honesty.... cry me a river. there are folks amongst us, like sister estadia, that wait YEARS without being able to see their significant others.

There will always be people who wait longer to immigrate than others, does that mean that no one else has a right to complain about their immigration circumstances?

Say your immigration application takes a year, that's a long time to be away from your SO, but since some people have to wait 2 or more years, the others should...just be quiet about it?

There are always people worse off than someone else, one does not negate the other, it's not an either/or thing.

[Marilyn. 340]

I was just thinking about something.. why would she have her marriage certificate with her to begin with?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

In all honesty.... cry me a river. there are folks amongst us, like sister estadia, that wait YEARS without being able to see their significant others.

There will always be people who wait longer to immigrate than others, does that mean that no one else has a right to complain about their immigration circumstances?

Say your immigration application takes a year, that's a long time to be away from your SO, but since some people have to wait 2 or more years, the others should...just be quiet about it?

There are always people worse off than someone else, one does not negate the other, it's not an either/or thing.

They can complain all they want of course; that's their right. And good for them.

Me not having much sympathy for someone within processing times, or who is in a screwy situation because they didn't do their homework is my right. Over and over.

It would be paramount to comparing these folks in the article to say, our very own Ron/Sharon. Nope, not the same thing

[Road 2 Peace Arch 0]

She didn't tell them she was married to an American and when they searched her car they found the marriage certificate and questioned her.

Lie by omission perhaps.

Yeah krikit, I was wondering the same thing.

Well, we really don't know what she did or, did not tell them. It's not like you can depend on news organizations to give you the complete story. Having said that, it's not like you can depend on people (her) to recount what really happened correctly either - she may have her own agenda now that the door has slammed shut for 6 months. And, you're unlikely to see CBP come on here and tell their side of the story.

Sadly, she made some errors or assumptions and now she's banned. I don't agree with the ban for 6 months but I really don't know the full story, neither does the Seattle Times and neither do the members of VJ.

My fiancée from Canada was just here two weeks ago for the weekend. I always ask her to carry the NOA1 & NOA2 along with the supporting documentation when crossing. I will now provide her with the NVC Letter stating our approved petition is being forwarded to the Vancouver Consulate for further processing - for what thats worth. She could be turned back at the border on one of her future trips to visit me because, at the end of the day, it's up to the individual CBP officer to make the decision to admit her. It's as arbitrary as whether or not you get a speeding ticket that day if you're stopped by the Police. I would imagine, like the Police, CBP officers come in all shapes and sizes and attitudes towards enforcement. It can be a roll of the dice that day.

In any case, I wish her the best.

That is why I said 'perhaps' and 'wondering' - we are wondering because we don't have all the facts.

But are you saying that some media reporting is biased and sometimes they don't tell the whole story!!

I can get all the factual near-facts I need on the cable news channels

[Hugglebuggles 60]

Well I keep a copy of my marriage certificate with me. All of my ID is still in my maiden name, since I'm not yet eligible to apply for a CO state ID and everything I have is still from Canada. My credit cards, banking information, is all in my married name. I keep a copy of my certificate just in case a question of the name discrepancy comes up, it makes it easier to explain and prove the name change. So, she may keep her marriage certificate on her for similar reasons, who knows.

I really have a hard time understanding how someone can go for years without seeing their SO. I couldn't do it. Unless there are some overwhelming circumstances why you can't see each other like the one described in this article, why would you even be willing to wait that long? Because of money? When you miss someone, how can money even be an object? While I was dating Bill long distance I was a full time student paying my own way through school and pulling extra hours at Tim Horton's just so I could see him every 2 months or so. He moved back in with his parents so he could save money and see me whenever possible. Where there's a will, there's a way. I personally don't understand people who complain they haven't seen their SO in 6 months, a year, 2 years... Go!

[Marilyn. 340]

money and distance are two big deciding factors when it comes to how often you can see each other... the longest we went without seeing each other was 6 months... it was hard for the hubby (BF at the time) to get time off plus the expense of flying and I was banned for a year so I couldn't go and see him either...

Edited September 14, 2009 by Marilyn.

[ashenflowers 5]

money and distance are two big deciding factors when it comes to how often you can see each other... the longest we went without seeing each other was 6 months... it was hard for the hubby (BF at the time) to get time off plus the expense of flying and I was banned for a year so I couldn't go and see him either...

Yeah... it's hard to be able to see each other some times, depending on the situation... I took a month off in August to spend time with my fiance, but it was really, REALLY DIFFICULT to accomplish that. Was it worth it? Of course. Will I do it again? No. It's just not feasible, so I won't be seeing my fiance again until my interview day, when he'll be coming up to join me, and then hopefully help me move right away. It's too far, too expensive, and requires too much time to get from here to there to be able to have another visit. We always try to make it a week at the least, because it's not worth the expense and time for only a day or two. and there are lots in our situation.

[Emancipation 2]

contrary to popular belief *sigh..

[morocco4ever 63]

why would you even be willing to wait that long

Because I have responsibilities that has to be taken care of despite my desire to be with my husband. It is called "being an adult". Because taking too much time off would result in losing my job, which is called "being an adult". Because in order to sponsor my husband to come to the US I need a job, it's called "being an adult". Because I love my husband, and because of that I will fight every obstacle that comes in my way before I would blow him off because it is inconvenient.

Sister Estadia has waited for such a long time. She never whines about it. She is very young, but more of an adult in handling her situation than most here that I see. When we choose to marry someone from another country we take on the responsibilities and circumstances involved with it. It took me 2 years to get my husband here from the date I sent in our petition. It was an exhausting battle due to a denial, which leaves you not just worrying about how long you are apart, but if the system will even allow him into the US EVER. I fought the system for those 2 years, and won. And there are people I know of that waited longer. It is your right to whine, but it is my right to view you as whining pukes over stupid things.

Okay, blast away.

[Krikit 1,163]

Well, we really don't know what she did or, did not tell them. It's not like you can depend on news organizations to give you the complete story. Having said that, it's not like you can depend on people (her) to recount what really happened correctly either - she may have her own agenda now that the door has slammed shut for 6 months. And, you're unlikely to see CBP come on here and tell their side of the story.

I was going to comment on that post, also, but you pretty much covered it for me.

Well I keep a copy of my marriage certificate with me. All of my ID is still in my maiden name, since I'm not yet eligible to apply for a CO state ID and everything I have is still from Canada. My credit cards, banking information, is all in my married name. I keep a copy of my certificate just in case a question of the name discrepancy comes up, it makes it easier to explain and prove the name change. So, she may keep her marriage certificate on her for similar reasons, who knows.

Agree. I carry my marriage certificate when I travel too. Because of the name thing.

Because I have responsibilities that has to be taken care of despite my desire to be with my husband. It is called "being an adult". Because taking too much time off would result in losing my job, which is called "being an adult". Because in order to sponsor my husband to come to the US I need a job, it's called "being an adult". Because I love my husband, and because of that I will fight every obstacle that comes in my way before I would blow him off because it is inconvenient.

I think that's what she was referring to when she said "unless there are overwhelming circumstances". Plus, we're talking about CanAm relationships here. There aren't as many obstacles compared to the overseas relationships.

It is your right to whine, but it is my right to view you as whining pukes over stupid things.

Okay, blast away.

Was that really necessary?

[morocco4ever 63]

Because I have responsibilities that has to be taken care of despite my desire to be with my husband. It is called "being an adult". Because taking too much time off would result in losing my job, which is called "being an adult". Because in order to sponsor my husband to come to the US I need a job, it's called "being an adult". Because I love my husband, and because of that I will fight every obstacle that comes in my way before I would blow him off because it is inconvenient.

I think that's what she was referring to when she said "unless there are overwhelming circumstances". Plus, we're talking about CanAm relationships here. There aren't as many obstacles compared to the overseas relationships.

It is your right to whine, but it is my right to view you as whining pukes over stupid things.

Okay, blast away.

Was that really necessary?

She mentioned that we can all overcome obstacles. Her SO moved in with his father so that they can spend more time together. I consider this childish. IMO you need to be working towards a future together here in the US. This would include buying a home. Rather than save the money to make a ton of trips, why not save the money to purchase a home? Are they going to end up living with his family upon her arrival. She said that she doesn't understand people who complain that they haven't seen their SO for 6 months or so. Well I don't understand those that complain about the normal processing time of the immigration process.

As for was that necessary? Perhaps not, but I see people that come to post that are actually helping people with their journeys. I see others that post to do nothing but complain. Estadia is such a shining example IMO. She does what ever she can to assist others, without a word of her own journey.

As for the couple in the article. She has a six month ban. Six months just isn't that long. I think the time is better spent learning the system, and preparing for a life time together. Being in a long distance relationship has it set of difficulties. I am FULLY aware of that. When they come there is going to be a new set of difficulties. Now comes the adjustment to married life, as well as moving away from a life that are familiar with, to new customs and cultures. There is just so much more constructive things a person can do with their time.

I have, on occasion, whined about our plight. But I spent the majority of my time researching, and gathering information. I then used that not only to help our journey, but to assist others that have gone through, or are going through a denial. Others here have spent time researching how to speed up the process as much as is legally and feasibly possible. And then they post here to help others. Those are the ones I have admiration for.

[Danu 19]

Well I keep a copy of my marriage certificate with me. All of my ID is still in my maiden name, since I'm not yet eligible to apply for a CO state ID and everything I have is still from Canada. My credit cards, banking information, is all in my married name. I keep a copy of my certificate just in case a question of the name discrepancy comes up, it makes it easier to explain and prove the name change. So, she may keep her marriage certificate on her for similar reasons, who knows.

I really have a hard time understanding how someone can go for years without seeing their SO. I couldn't do it. Unless there are some overwhelming circumstances why you can't see each other like the one described in this article, why would you even be willing to wait that long? Because of money? When you miss someone, how can money even be an object? While I was dating Bill long distance I was a full time student paying my own way through school and pulling extra hours at Tim Horton's just so I could see him every 2 months or so. He moved back in with his parents so he could save money and see me whenever possible. Where there's a will, there's a way. I personally don't understand people who complain they haven't seen their SO in 6 months, a year, 2 years... Go!

For me the biggest issue is that I'm out of work and we need the money for moving. I haven't seen Wes in 6 months, but with the hope that we won't be waiting all that much longer for an interview and then I can move right away its better to just wait and have the money for moving. I guess I would be aan overwhelming circumstance, as I'm on EI up here which means I more than likely can't get it down there, which means we need every penny to cover me while I wait for my EAD. I miss him every day, so much that sometimes I can't stop crying. But I also know that in the grand scheme of things this is just a short little while till our forever and that I'm making it easier by not visitng.

[Aero and Dero 0]

As for the couple in the article. She has a six month ban. Six months just isn't that long. I think the time is better spent learning the system, and preparing for a life time together.

I agree with a lot of what you've said about being an adult and working to merge two lives together into one and how certain immediate desires need to be put on hold in order to make this happen.

However...

While six months may not seem a lot to everyone here, and certainly it's not a lot to people who have incredibly long distance relationships which DOES make seeing each other frequently difficult... Six months is torture for people who live 2 hours away from each other, and have had a history of being able to see each other every week. When you're used to being held every week, of being able to see the other person laugh, of making them laugh and hearing it, of being able to kiss them and hold hands and do dumb couple things like sit on the couch and watch tv together -- when you're used to doing that /every/ week: six months feels like an unbearably long time.

It's all in circumstance, situation, and what you are used to. I think it's amazing people have gone years without seeing their fiance(e) or spouse. With the situation I'm in, I can't even fathom being that strong and those people /are/ exceptional. I realize how lucky I am by reading some stories here and it makes me incredibly sad to realize not everyone is as fortunate as I am. But, please try not to make a judgment based on your own circumstances about how six months is nothing. It comes off as a little disrespectful and lacks understanding, and aren't we all here to support each other?

[warlord 72]

No to get away from the debate on the issues with the two people and the denial of entry, but does anyone know how this park works?

It seems weird they'd have a park that's between the two check points that people could go into. I would think that the border check points where right side by side depending on which way you were going.

Maybe things are a bit different in land borders, I'm used to bridges where you drive and the other side is the check point.

I'm going to try and google earth it to see...