Trash in Morocco

[Jenn! 918]

That group should be banned!

Kenza I want to empasize to you that like you, My daughter is Moroccan American. I dont want you to think that I think this is EVERYONE. Its not. But to act like its not happening is very unfair to the women who are western who have been financially exploited and mistreated. What happened to them is very very real.

The physical violence is very real. The woman is crazed and ambivalent but it isnt just one, let the forum stay open and I think as word gets around it will get bigger and bigger. The fact they are posting the other womans and moroccan wife and fiancees pictures is the real kicker.

This is just very common and a painful reality and even if it doesnt happen to anyone here, I think the girl should clean up her language and stick to the facts and it would be alot less offensive

You frickin LIAR!! I thought u were married to an algerian guy????? and you just had a baby with and passed away! and now you claim to have a moroccan daughter!! Pathetic! you had a thread around 6 months in Moving to America!

You know, sometimes people have more than one child and with more than one father. She's not a liar.

[Staashi 371]

That group should be banned!

Kenza I want to empasize to you that like you, My daughter is Moroccan American. I dont want you to think that I think this is EVERYONE. Its not. But to act like its not happening is very unfair to the women who are western who have been financially exploited and mistreated. What happened to them is very very real.

The physical violence is very real. The woman is crazed and ambivalent but it isnt just one, let the forum stay open and I think as word gets around it will get bigger and bigger. The fact they are posting the other womans and moroccan wife and fiancees pictures is the real kicker.

This is just very common and a painful reality and even if it doesnt happen to anyone here, I think the girl should clean up her language and stick to the facts and it would be alot less offensive

You frickin LIAR!! I thought u were married to an algerian guy????? and you just had a baby with and passed away! and now you claim to have a moroccan daughter!! Pathetic! you had a thread around 6 months in Moving to America!

Actually, Kat wasn't lying at all. I've met her and said daughter in person. In fact, it was last August, while she was almost 9 mos pregnant with her son, Rayan. So, I'd get your fvcking facts straight. Who the hell are you to call someone a liar? You're pathetic - how dare you put her down! What the hell has she done to you? Not a damn thing - just pointing out the fraud that happens with some people from Morocco - which as I said before is no f'ing secret. Furthermore, there are a ton of women in this forum who have children by other men - some were ex-husbands, some were ex-lovers. Deal.

Sheesh - go put some neosporin on that toilet paper cut you must have got this mornin, will ya!

Edited August 23, 2009 by Staashi

[Chica Yeyé 41]

That group should be banned!

Kenza I want to empasize to you that like you, My daughter is Moroccan American. I dont want you to think that I think this is EVERYONE. Its not. But to act like its not happening is very unfair to the women who are western who have been financially exploited and mistreated. What happened to them is very very real.

The physical violence is very real. The woman is crazed and ambivalent but it isnt just one, let the forum stay open and I think as word gets around it will get bigger and bigger. The fact they are posting the other womans and moroccan wife and fiancees pictures is the real kicker.

This is just very common and a painful reality and even if it doesnt happen to anyone here, I think the girl should clean up her language and stick to the facts and it would be alot less offensive

You frickin LIAR!! I thought u were married to an algerian guy????? and you just had a baby with and passed away! and now you claim to have a moroccan daughter!! Pathetic! you had a thread around 6 months in Moving to America!

#######?!?!? Hold your horses. Reported.

[Krikit 1,163]

Personal attacks are a violation of the TOS. Administrative action has been taken. I hesitate to remove the post because of the corresponding responses. Let me know if you'd like them gone and I'll take care of it. I sometimes think it's a good thing to leave posts intact so that the evidence does the convicting.

[ohnodidit 0]

Hey ladies...

This is what grinds my gears...why are these women posting pics and vids of homes and saying "this is the house I paid for..."? Really, he forced you to give up your paycheck to pay for a home in Morocco? What kind of a brain dead ding dong are you if your husband can bully you into buying his family a home that you're not going to get any use out of? They never heard of the word "no"? Don't blindly hand over all your hard earned dough then get on a FB group and biitch about it. You're the dumbass who handed it over. Duh.

Oh hai everybody...

Quick Hijack

Yo girlie!!!! I sure have missed talking to ya! How's the "mister"?

Okay, back to topic. I've volunteered for many years now with a Victims Assistance Group and I've seen all kinds of abuse inflicted upon mostly women. So ABSOLUTELY I can understand the hurt that these women feel from being taken advantage of. But if someone reads into my posts that I put ALL the blame on these women, then you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying. As with MOST abusive relationships, a person (man or woman) HAS a choice to say NO MORE! When a person hits you or hurts you, you DO have the choice to say NO MORE! The path may be difficult but you DO have a choice to raise yourself up out of that situation. I think so many people stay in these relationships because it's what they "know" and having to change to something unknown is scary. But you know what.....everything you want in life is on the other side of fear!

NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US has said that these snakes that scam women aren't responsible for their actions...we are just saying at least own up to the choices that GOT them into that situation.

Hey Ya'll

I am new to the MENA board actually VJ in general, you guys are making me paranoid about Said, my SO. We met in Italy in April and I have just been back to see him for a second time, just got back. He has NEVER pressured me once about a visa, ever, in fact we have discussed me moving to Italy the ONLY thing he has pressured me about is coming to Morocco to meet his fam in Jan! But for those of us involved in new relations with Moroccan men what would some of the red flags be??? Just curious, I am not totally FREAKED out, just a little LOL!

[morocco4ever 63]

Hey ladies...

This is what grinds my gears...why are these women posting pics and vids of homes and saying "this is the house I paid for..."? Really, he forced you to give up your paycheck to pay for a home in Morocco? What kind of a brain dead ding dong are you if your husband can bully you into buying his family a home that you're not going to get any use out of? They never heard of the word "no"? Don't blindly hand over all your hard earned dough then get on a FB group and biitch about it. You're the dumbass who handed it over. Duh.

Oh hai everybody...

Quick Hijack

Yo girlie!!!! I sure have missed talking to ya! How's the "mister"?

Okay, back to topic. I've volunteered for many years now with a Victims Assistance Group and I've seen all kinds of abuse inflicted upon mostly women. So ABSOLUTELY I can understand the hurt that these women feel from being taken advantage of. But if someone reads into my posts that I put ALL the blame on these women, then you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying. As with MOST abusive relationships, a person (man or woman) HAS a choice to say NO MORE! When a person hits you or hurts you, you DO have the choice to say NO MORE! The path may be difficult but you DO have a choice to raise yourself up out of that situation. I think so many people stay in these relationships because it's what they "know" and having to change to something unknown is scary. But you know what.....everything you want in life is on the other side of fear!

NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US has said that these snakes that scam women aren't responsible for their actions...we are just saying at least own up to the choices that GOT them into that situation.

Hey Ya'll

I am new to the MENA board actually VJ in general, you guys are making me paranoid about Said, my SO. We met in Italy in April and I have just been back to see him for a second time, just got back. He has NEVER pressured me once about a visa, ever, in fact we have discussed me moving to Italy the ONLY thing he has pressured me about is coming to Morocco to meet his fam in Jan! But for those of us involved in new relations with Moroccan men what would some of the red flags be??? Just curious, I am not totally FREAKED out, just a little LOL!

That's the thing. There is a list of red flags to look for, but it just doesn't always hold true that it is GC fraud. For instance, I am considerably older than my husband. Not I would venture to say that more than likely the majority of these would be GC fraud. My husband has had his 10 year GC for quite some time now and is still around. So the red flags are just that. Flags to watch, but don't make final decisions based on them. I would think if he was pushing to come to the US you might take note. I personally think if the guy is crying poverty, and asks for you to send him money I would be very concerned. Also if he doesn't make efforts to spend time online with you I would be concerned as well.

If he is pushing you to meet his family and friends this is typically a good thing. Many looking for a GC will try to hide you from friends and family. But then again I wouldn't bet 100% on this either. He might just be really good.

Bottom line is that you give him lots of rope. If he is using you he will more than likely hang himself. Take your time on this. Just wait and see. There is no need to rush into anything. And if it is meant to last it will.

One other note, this visa process is extremely time consuming and draining. If you have any doubts whatsoever in your relationship I think this process can cause more doubts and concerns than you had previously. Make sure you are prepared. It isn't for the weak of heart.

Anyone else have some tips for our new member? Oh yes, welcome to VJ. We are a bit of a feisty group, but we will be the first to help when needed.

[allousa 1]

Hey ladies...

This is what grinds my gears...why are these women posting pics and vids of homes and saying "this is the house I paid for..."? Really, he forced you to give up your paycheck to pay for a home in Morocco? What kind of a brain dead ding dong are you if your husband can bully you into buying his family a home that you're not going to get any use out of? They never heard of the word "no"? Don't blindly hand over all your hard earned dough then get on a FB group and biitch about it. You're the dumbass who handed it over. Duh.

Oh hai everybody...

Quick Hijack

Yo girlie!!!! I sure have missed talking to ya! How's the "mister"?

Okay, back to topic. I've volunteered for many years now with a Victims Assistance Group and I've seen all kinds of abuse inflicted upon mostly women. So ABSOLUTELY I can understand the hurt that these women feel from being taken advantage of. But if someone reads into my posts that I put ALL the blame on these women, then you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying. As with MOST abusive relationships, a person (man or woman) HAS a choice to say NO MORE! When a person hits you or hurts you, you DO have the choice to say NO MORE! The path may be difficult but you DO have a choice to raise yourself up out of that situation. I think so many people stay in these relationships because it's what they "know" and having to change to something unknown is scary. But you know what.....everything you want in life is on the other side of fear!

NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US has said that these snakes that scam women aren't responsible for their actions...we are just saying at least own up to the choices that GOT them into that situation.

Hey Ya'll

I am new to the MENA board actually VJ in general, you guys are making me paranoid about Said, my SO. We met in Italy in April and I have just been back to see him for a second time, just got back. He has NEVER pressured me once about a visa, ever, in fact we have discussed me moving to Italy the ONLY thing he has pressured me about is coming to Morocco to meet his fam in Jan! But for those of us involved in new relations with Moroccan men what would some of the red flags be??? Just curious, I am not totally FREAKED out, just a little LOL!

That's the thing. There is a list of red flags to look for, but it just doesn't always hold true that it is GC fraud. For instance, I am considerably older than my husband. Not I would venture to say that more than likely the majority of these would be GC fraud. My husband has had his 10 year GC for quite some time now and is still around. So the red flags are just that. Flags to watch, but don't make final decisions based on them. I would think if he was pushing to come to the US you might take note. I personally think if the guy is crying poverty, and asks for you to send him money I would be very concerned. Also if he doesn't make efforts to spend time online with you I would be concerned as well.

If he is pushing you to meet his family and friends this is typically a good thing. Many looking for a GC will try to hide you from friends and family. But then again I wouldn't bet 100% on this either. He might just be really good.

Bottom line is that you give him lots of rope. If he is using you he will more than likely hang himself. Take your time on this. Just wait and see. There is no need to rush into anything. And if it is meant to last it will.

One other note, this visa process is extremely time consuming and draining. If you have any doubts whatsoever in your relationship I think this process can cause more doubts and concerns than you had previously. Make sure you are prepared. It isn't for the weak of heart.

Anyone else have some tips for our new member? Oh yes, welcome to VJ. We are a bit of a feisty group, but we will be the first to help when needed.

EXCELLENT advice m4e! Long distance relationships themselves are difficult in of themselves without adding the cultural issues and all of that. Just take your time and don't rush.

[ohnodidit 0]

Hey ladies...

This is what grinds my gears...why are these women posting pics and vids of homes and saying "this is the house I paid for..."? Really, he forced you to give up your paycheck to pay for a home in Morocco? What kind of a brain dead ding dong are you if your husband can bully you into buying his family a home that you're not going to get any use out of? They never heard of the word "no"? Don't blindly hand over all your hard earned dough then get on a FB group and biitch about it. You're the dumbass who handed it over. Duh.

Oh hai everybody...

Quick Hijack

Yo girlie!!!! I sure have missed talking to ya! How's the "mister"?

Okay, back to topic. I've volunteered for many years now with a Victims Assistance Group and I've seen all kinds of abuse inflicted upon mostly women. So ABSOLUTELY I can understand the hurt that these women feel from being taken advantage of. But if someone reads into my posts that I put ALL the blame on these women, then you aren't paying attention to what I'm saying. As with MOST abusive relationships, a person (man or woman) HAS a choice to say NO MORE! When a person hits you or hurts you, you DO have the choice to say NO MORE! The path may be difficult but you DO have a choice to raise yourself up out of that situation. I think so many people stay in these relationships because it's what they "know" and having to change to something unknown is scary. But you know what.....everything you want in life is on the other side of fear!

NOT A SINGLE ONE OF US has said that these snakes that scam women aren't responsible for their actions...we are just saying at least own up to the choices that GOT them into that situation.

Hey Ya'll

I am new to the MENA board actually VJ in general, you guys are making me paranoid about Said, my SO. We met in Italy in April and I have just been back to see him for a second time, just got back. He has NEVER pressured me once about a visa, ever, in fact we have discussed me moving to Italy the ONLY thing he has pressured me about is coming to Morocco to meet his fam in Jan! But for those of us involved in new relations with Moroccan men what would some of the red flags be??? Just curious, I am not totally FREAKED out, just a little LOL!

That's the thing. There is a list of red flags to look for, but it just doesn't always hold true that it is GC fraud. For instance, I am considerably older than my husband. Not I would venture to say that more than likely the majority of these would be GC fraud. My husband has had his 10 year GC for quite some time now and is still around. So the red flags are just that. Flags to watch, but don't make final decisions based on them. I would think if he was pushing to come to the US you might take note. I personally think if the guy is crying poverty, and asks for you to send him money I would be very concerned. Also if he doesn't make efforts to spend time online with you I would be concerned as well.

If he is pushing you to meet his family and friends this is typically a good thing. Many looking for a GC will try to hide you from friends and family. But then again I wouldn't bet 100% on this either. He might just be really good.

Bottom line is that you give him lots of rope. If he is using you he will more than likely hang himself. Take your time on this. Just wait and see. There is no need to rush into anything. And if it is meant to last it will.

One other note, this visa process is extremely time consuming and draining. If you have any doubts whatsoever in your relationship I think this process can cause more doubts and concerns than you had previously. Make sure you are prepared. It isn't for the weak of heart.

Anyone else have some tips for our new member? Oh yes, welcome to VJ. We are a bit of a feisty group, but we will be the first to help when needed.

Well so far I would say he is the exact opposite........in fact he has said more than once if we do pursue ANY type of visa he would assume all the financial responsibility and would have plenty of money to support himself when he got here so that I would NOT have to pay for him because he feels a sense of pride and NO woman should be taking care of a man. We have also discussed this several times and he wholeheartedly agrees that there is a LOT of fraud in Morocco and a) he is not in Morocco has a life in Italy and has for sometime and B) we did not meet online we met in person to begin with (these are his words not mine). He NEVER avoids me in fact, if we could afford it we would probably talk 5 times a day instead of 2 or 3 and he does not have a computer so he goes to a cafe and is NEVER on it, in fact did not even have an email until he met me and we chat 2-3 times a week. While I was in Italy this time he was all toooo happy to introduce me to his brother who is also there and all his friends. I am seven years older than he of course we did not know that initially and the ONLY thing he has ever said about it is that he does not care at all but he wants a family ( I have no kids) and he feels like due to my age that is something we have to consider sooner rather than later. My GUT tells me he is very legit but I read these postings EVERYWHERE I feel like, in fact he has encouraged me to find women with positive experiences because he was hating that all I kept finding were negative ones. He was like, listen I know there are happy Americans and Moroccans together I see them in Morocco and I am sure they are in the States as well. So, I agree I think in time EVERYONE's true colors show and luckily (maybe not the right term) I am in the middle of a divorce and cannot do anything with a fiancee visa now anyway, in fact I have a posting about this in this forum.......sooooo we have no choice but to take it slowly I figure if all goes well in January I will spend probably three weeks in Morocco and then visit Italy again in the early summer hopefully by then I will be ready to make a decision about the visa.......so no worries NOT jumping back into ANYTHING ; )

[allousa 1]

ohno, I wanted to let you know that after 9 years, my husband and I are still together. So ABSOLUTELY there are success stories! Our story is a little different than most here as we met in the States and not online. I do think if you read too much and get too involved with the drama it can scare you or make you look for something that may/may not be there. Just trust your instincts. Be HONEST with yourself and not caught up in the lust of it all, you know. I will say that the fact he isn't "hiding" you is a good sign. I do wish you luck.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

That group should be banned!

Kenza I want to empasize to you that like you, My daughter is Moroccan American. I dont want you to think that I think this is EVERYONE. Its not. But to act like its not happening is very unfair to the women who are western who have been financially exploited and mistreated. What happened to them is very very real.

The physical violence is very real. The woman is crazed and ambivalent but it isnt just one, let the forum stay open and I think as word gets around it will get bigger and bigger. The fact they are posting the other womans and moroccan wife and fiancees pictures is the real kicker.

This is just very common and a painful reality and even if it doesnt happen to anyone here, I think the girl should clean up her language and stick to the facts and it would be alot less offensive

You frickin LIAR!! I thought u were married to an algerian guy????? and you just had a baby with and passed away! and now you claim to have a moroccan daughter!! Pathetic! you had a thread around 6 months in Moving to America!

The reason that these women have such a hard time talking about what has happened to them or what they have been through is the minute they say something, they are set up for a personal attack. I think you may have figured out that alot of the people on the boards actually know each other in person. My story is very complicated and convuluted and its easy to see how it would seem weird . But yes. My daughter is Moroccan. Her family is from a part of Rabat called AGDAL and her father used an American back in 1998 for papers and abandoned her without divorcing her days after he got his 10 year card and she had brought him over here at a time where DCF was still permissible. Yes, I have lived through things you never ever would wish that could or would happen to you and have seen culturally some things that most never get to see because the stress of losing a child is beyond horrific. I would say that I am a pretty credible source when it comes to talking about this subject and I am very quick to tell people that its not ALL people but it is so prevalent tnat the consulate itself polices alot of the applications. There is even high lottery fraud out of there as well, with single lottery winners sometimes marrying people and then scams running that way. Its because of the intense poverty and there is a very high moroccan population here in the USA so there are alot of places to run to if things are arent working out and a very strong emigrant population.

I want you to understand that I understand your defensiveness but its not me who was used by a Moroccan for a greencard. Its tons of my friends and the ex wife of my daughters father. I merely commented on things. I forgive you because honestly if I knew what happened to me, I would and could never believe the nightmare I have lived

Cheers

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

ohno, I wanted to let you know that after 9 years, my husband and I are still together. So ABSOLUTELY there are success stories! Our story is a little different than most here as we met in the States and not online. I do think if you read too much and get too involved with the drama it can scare you or make you look for something that may/may not be there. Just trust your instincts. Be HONEST with yourself and not caught up in the lust of it all, you know. I will say that the fact he isn't "hiding" you is a good sign. I do wish you luck.

Not being hidden is not necessarily great because if everyone is in on the whole "passe le service de militare" and its understood that this is a short term gig, then anything is possible.

I think the only telltale sign is what is in the persons heart, and there is no red flag for that. If the family is schemey enough, they literally will have a cousin in the wings ready to marry the guy when he is done with his papers...Its just so hard for alot of us to comprehend because its just not how we do things... but like I said, I literally met one woman whose dad is the brother of her husbands mom. ( whew) And this is here. And this is post greencard..

You cannot drive yourself crazy cause there are no guarantees. All people are individual and unique

[MouadsWife 161]

Well, I have been posting my thoughts on that group, and looksie what I found that is in relation to that group.... http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=43558452873 How can ppl be so hateful???

Well, I have been posting my thoughts on that group, and looksie what I found that is in relation to that group.... http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=43558452873 How can ppl be so hateful???

Im really not sure the purpose for this group. Its not clear... But there is a girl on there named Theresa who is a regular poster on the first mentioned group and she had posted for ppl on that group to join the Trash in Morocco group.

[CnT4ever 1]

[The reason that these women have such a hard time talking about what has happened to them or what they have been through is the minute they say something, they are set up for a personal attack. I think you may have figured out that alot of the people on the boards actually know each other in person. My story is very complicated and convuluted and its easy to see how it would seem weird . But yes. My daughter is Moroccan. Her family is from a part of Rabat called AGDAL and her father used an American back in 1998 for papers and abandoned her without divorcing her days after he got his 10 year card and she had brought him over here at a time where DCF was still permissible. Yes, I have lived through things you never ever would wish that could or would happen to you and have seen culturally some things that most never get to see because the stress of losing a child is beyond horrific. I would say that I am a pretty credible source when it comes to talking about this subject and I am very quick to tell people that its not ALL people but it is so prevalent tnat the consulate itself polices alot of the applications. There is even high lottery fraud out of there as well, with single lottery winners sometimes marrying people and then scams running that way. Its because of the intense poverty and there is a very high moroccan population here in the USA so there are alot of places to run to if things are arent working out and a very strong emigrant population.

I want you to understand that I understand your defensiveness but its not me who was used by a Moroccan for a greencard. Its tons of my friends and the ex wife of my daughters father. I merely commented on things. I forgive you because honestly if I knew what happened to me, I would and could never believe the nightmare I have lived

Cheers

Am I reading this right? You married a man and had a daughter with him, even though he previously used a woman for a greencard? Or did you have his daughter and then he used another woman? I'm confused

[bhajishah 4]

yeah there is some issues going on there. Get rid of issues and open the heart, Its Ramadan!!!

[venusfire503 54]

I am going to say upfront that I have hit every ding in your post. Yes we met in an internet chat room, but a bar or singles club is no different. We have a 18 year age difference... neither of us looks our age, he looks older and I look alot younger. With the economy situation nowadays, jobs arent the easiest to find. However, I have a job, albiet not a fantastic one, but I have one. I was christian when I met my fiance, and now I am muslim. I am was also married for many years with a daughter. Now, with these facts, a uscis co may see these as red flags... albiet they are facts, but it does not mean our affection and love for one another is false. My fiance would give his life for me this I know, and I the same. We have been together 1.5 years and everyday we love each other more. Just because there are big giant red flags waving in the air, doesnt mean its not true. The facts have to be weighed on the positive, not the negative. If everything was every weighed on the negative, no one would ever take a chance in life.

MouadsWife,

I also hit every ding on that post. Well, not a chat room, but MySpace. 'Only' 11 years difference in age, but I actually have the three children mentioned in the post (from a 15 year marriage). We also look about the same age, but I didn't convert (I was brought up Catholic, but now just consider myself a person who believes in God, and who observes both Christian and Muslim holidays - including fasting now). We met May 2006, and he's been here since Dec 2006. There are some rough patches, but with all we're going through, that's to be expected (ok, it's to be expected in ANY relationship). He's put up with some incredibly horrible things, including my ex filing false child abuse reports against us and trying to take my kids away from me - the stress is overwhelming at times. To deal with all of that, while he already has his green card, would be unnecessary if he was 'using' me.

It's hard not to get defensive sometimes with all the negativity out there. But I love my husband, and my children love him too. Actually, most people who meet him love him (other than my ex, and a few prejudiced people). I couldn't have hoped for such a wonderful stepfather for my children, either.

Just a side note - in our case, there were no delays, no AP, nothing. He got his visa less than 3 months after we sent the K-1 packet. Either they didn't suspect him of fraud, or didn't care? The lady who interviewed him grilled him for over an hour, though. Maybe she did suspect him, was having a bad day, whatever. Either way, he still got his visa within a week of the interview.

Best of luck to all!

venusfire