removing conditional residency but marriage is failing

[valentino 0]

Hi,

I am in the process of removing conditional residency permit. I have not filed my waiver yet. The 90 days has started and I must file before October 02,2009. My marriage is starting to fall apart. We married in good faith and everything was fine until at one point he has lost respect for me. I don't know what it is but My husband's (USC) verbal abuse is only getting worse and at the moment has gone too far. i don't have any evidence of physical abuse but he mentally abuses me with cuss words. Every time we argue the first words are "######" "#######" "#######" and I can't handle it anymore. I've been very patient with him and it seems as though it isn't working. He constantly threatens me by asking me to divorce him every time we argue. He only wants me to divorce him, but I never am willing to do it. It's just getting worse..He is not cheating as he is home everyday with me. We have never been apart and we've resided together this whole time. We spend too much time together. He works at the convenience of our home. He refuses to seek marriage counseling. I simply think we just have our differences in thoughts. After an arguement we forgive each other most of the times, but it ends up in another arguement. The arguement constantly gets worse and I"m almost at my limits of giving everything up. There hasn't been one day where we haven't gone without an arguement. I don't know what to do.

I seriously don't know if i can continue in a verbal abusive marriage only keeps getting worse.

1) Although divorce is my last option, is it better to file a divorce and then file for a waivered i-751 in my situation?

2) He is willing to sign the i-751 jointly, but I'm scared that if he did divorce me after i receive my PR it may look as fraudelent marriage which may be an issue when I plan to apply for Citizenship.

3) I would like to file as a battered spouse but I don't have enough evidence to prove it.

Would it be better to file jointly, battered spouse, or file a divorce and then file a waiver?

If i did file jointly, is there an interview?

I have sufficient evidence that we have been living together this whole time, we have bills and insurance under both our names as well as pictures and tax reports and affidavits from friends and families.

I need someone's advice.

[Happychap 0]

Hi,

I am in the process of removing conditional residency permit. I have not filed my waiver yet. The 90 days has started and I must file before October 02,2009. My marriage is starting to fall apart. We married in good faith and everything was fine until at one point he has lost respect for me. I don't know what it is but My husband's (USC) verbal abuse is only getting worse and at the moment has gone too far. i don't have any evidence of physical abuse but he mentally abuses me with cuss words. Every time we argue the first words are "######" "#######" "#######" and I can't handle it anymore. I've been very patient with him and it seems as though it isn't working. He constantly threatens me by asking me to divorce him every time we argue. He only wants me to divorce him, but I never am willing to do it. It's just getting worse..He is not cheating as he is home everyday with me. We have never been apart and we've resided together this whole time. We spend too much time together. He works at the convenience of our home. He refuses to seek marriage counseling. I simply think we just have our differences in thoughts. After an arguement we forgive each other most of the times, but it ends up in another arguement. The arguement constantly gets worse and I"m almost at my limits of giving everything up. There hasn't been one day where we haven't gone without an arguement. I don't know what to do.

I seriously don't know if i can continue in a verbal abusive marriage only keeps getting worse.

1) Although divorce is my last option, is it better to file a divorce and then file for a waivered i-751 in my situation?

2) He is willing to sign the i-751 jointly, but I'm scared that if he did divorce me after i receive my PR it may look as fraudelent marriage which may be an issue when I plan to apply for Citizenship.

3) I would like to file as a battered spouse but I don't have enough evidence to prove it.

Would it be better to file jointly, battered spouse, or file a divorce and then file a waiver?

If i did file jointly, is there an interview?

I have sufficient evidence that we have been living together this whole time, we have bills and insurance under both our names as well as pictures and tax reports and affidavits from friends and families.

I need someone's advice.

S0rry to hear about your situation and emotional distress you are currently going through. In regards to your petition you jsut have to prove you entered the marriage in 'good faith' so going through a turbulent marriage or filling for divorce should have no impact on your petition as long the marriage was entered in good faith. Many have divorced or separated during the filling process with no impact on the petition. ALthough some seem to be more prone to an interview. If he is willing to file jointly with you then let him do so , it wont do any harm, as remember the marriage was entered in good faith regardless of how things are now.... I hope things get better for you and i wish you all the best , but please try not worry about your petition you will be fine in regards to that.

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving this from Removing Conditions to the Effects of Major Changes forum where you can get specific advice for your situation, valentino.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Hi,

I am in the process of removing conditional residency permit. I have not filed my waiver yet. The 90 days has started and I must file before October 02,2009. My marriage is starting to fall apart. We married in good faith and everything was fine until at one point he has lost respect for me. I don't know what it is but My husband's (USC) verbal abuse is only getting worse and at the moment has gone too far. i don't have any evidence of physical abuse but he mentally abuses me with cuss words. Every time we argue the first words are "######" "#######" "#######" and I can't handle it anymore. I've been very patient with him and it seems as though it isn't working. He constantly threatens me by asking me to divorce him every time we argue. He only wants me to divorce him, but I never am willing to do it. It's just getting worse..He is not cheating as he is home everyday with me. We have never been apart and we've resided together this whole time. We spend too much time together. He works at the convenience of our home. He refuses to seek marriage counseling. I simply think we just have our differences in thoughts. After an arguement we forgive each other most of the times, but it ends up in another arguement. The arguement constantly gets worse and I"m almost at my limits of giving everything up. There hasn't been one day where we haven't gone without an arguement. I don't know what to do.

I seriously don't know if i can continue in a verbal abusive marriage only keeps getting worse.

1) Although divorce is my last option, is it better to file a divorce and then file for a waivered i-751 in my situation?

2) He is willing to sign the i-751 jointly, but I'm scared that if he did divorce me after i receive my PR it may look as fraudelent marriage which may be an issue when I plan to apply for Citizenship.

3) I would like to file as a battered spouse but I don't have enough evidence to prove it.

Would it be better to file jointly, battered spouse, or file a divorce and then file a waiver?

If i did file jointly, is there an interview?

I have sufficient evidence that we have been living together this whole time, we have bills and insurance under both our names as well as pictures and tax reports and affidavits from friends and families.

I need someone's advice.

S0rry to hear about your situation and emotional distress you are currently going through. In regards to your petition you jsut have to prove you entered the marriage in 'good faith' so going through a turbulent marriage or filling for divorce should have no impact on your petition as long the marriage was entered in good faith. Many have divorced or separated during the filling process with no impact on the petition. ALthough some seem to be more prone to an interview. If he is willing to file jointly with you then let him do so , it wont do any harm, as remember the marriage was entered in good faith regardless of how things are now.... I hope things get better for you and i wish you all the best , but please try not worry about your petition you will be fine in regards to that.

I think you may be oversimplifying the matter.

There are three ways a conditional resident can apply to remove conditions on their own. Two of them do require that you prove the marriage was entered into in good faith, but they also have specific requirements that must be met in order to qualify for the waiver. The waiver for what is often called "good faith" requires that they be divorced - not separated or divorce pending - the divorce must be final. The waiver for "extreme cruelty" requires evidence of abuse, in addition to evidence of good faith marriage. The third waiver, "extreme hardship", doesn't require proof of good faith marriage, but it does require proof of hardship far beyond what any typical immigrant would endure if they were deported, and the hardship must be something that did not exist when she became a conditional resident. So, there's more to it then just demonstrating the marriage was entered into in good faith.

She's not divorced yet, so she can't apply for the "good faith" waiver. She doesn't have proof of abuse, and it may be difficult to get that proof this late in the game, so she probably can't apply for the "extreme cruelty" waiver. We don't know enough about her situation to know if she could qualify for an "extreme hardship" waiver, but they are difficult to get, and not often approved.

Filing jointly would be the least risky way to go. Technically, the interview is required, but the director of the district office can waive the interview if the evidence is sufficient, and they often do.

If she can't file jointly, then she's got a problem.

If she decides to go for the "good faith" waiver, then she'll need to file for a divorce. The divorce will almost certainly not be final before the conditional green card expires, so she'll be out of status and removal proceedings will begin. If she's filed for the divorce, then she can ask the immigration judge to postpone the proceedings until the divorce is final. This request is almost always granted. Another possible tactic that some attorneys recommend is to file for the "extreme hardship" waiver in order to delay while waiting for the final divorce judgment. This waiver application can be withdrawn, and the "good faith" waiver submitted once the divorce decree is obtained. Presuming the divorce is final before the hardship waiver is adjudicated, then this approach will at least avoid the trauma of removal proceedings.

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

As always, Jim hit the nail on the head in a way only he can.

Since you hung in there for almost two years and your husband at least doesn't lay hand on you, you may want to consider hanging in there for at least a few more months. Try to fly low and stay away from your husband if you feel you may approach a situation of verbal abuse. Just tell him you need some fresh air and walk around the block until the waters calm. You can also involve a friend, which might help if you ever need to proof being a victim of spousal abuse.

If you have sufficient proof that you entered the marriage in good faith, and you send a nice package to USCIS, filing JOINTLY, odds are good that you won't be called to an interview at all, so no need to be afraid that your grumpy hubby can do you any harm there.

If you file for divorce after you receive your permanent resident status, I doubt that there's sufficient evidence that you committed immigration fraud, which--the way you described it--you did not.

Best scenario is to try to make the marriage work. Sometimes all it takes is a new approach. Ask your husband what's on his mind regarding the relationship and what you can do to make it work.

All the best to you.

[justashooter 430]

maybe there is a reason you husband is flying off the handle.

before you divorce, examine the situation carefully with the advice of an older close friend if possible.

it could be that he is just threatened by the pending change in your status and is not confident that you married him for anything other than a green card. if so, he is provoking the reality he fears by pushing you away.

not everyone is secure in themselves. some are more fragile than others. a perfectly balanced marriage won't have to face this issue, but few marriages are perfectly balanced. you might just have the opportunity to save your marriage (assuming you want to) by giving more than 50%. marriages are nto 50/50. they are 90/10, and 10/90, and everything in between, from time to time.