Safe amount of time

[morocco4ever 63]

Mostly just interesting because women who get into bad relationships tend to, statistically anyway, get into bad relationships afterwards.

Very true. I dont think its just women though...although probably more often than men.

@ HannahP...most of the time in those statistics, they need to see it before anyone can assist. People need to ask for help to stop things (addictions, bad relationships, etc.) It's the way life is...we can see things clearly when we are outside a situation.

Oh no, I agree completely with both of you. Simply stating a fact which might help to explain the behavior of some people (not necc. the OP even, just that frustrating question of /why/.) My sister is in a similar position, so yeah.

I have to agree. Once a person finds themselves in this kind of relationship they need to be very certain they know the signs and look for a person that doesn't possess these qualities. But history has taught us that a lot of women/men just keep going back to it. I made it a point to write a list of qualifications before I would ever agree to marry again. It took me 15 years. And I can say that 15 years of single life isn't all that bad when you look at the alternatives. To bad so many people don't set themselves up for success rather than failure after failure.

And if he inserted it would he at least clean it with betadine wiener?

OMG....

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

omg, I just spit out my tea!!!!!

[~Jess~ 0]

doubtful, prolly just dirty dish water.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Len: ohai sweetie... what would you think if I stuck a GPS locator up your azz?

Bren: uh... where are you?

Len: at work

Bren: are you on that VJ site again?

Len: uh, no....., why?

Bren: because when you are, you come up with the weirdest ideas, usually involving my azz.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Actually, dirty laundry water.........

[~Jess~ 0]

ewww

[Y's_habibitk 2]

There is nothing wrong with chipping your spouse. We chip our pets right? We dont want those silly husbands to get lost or stolen!

come on guys, dont you already have chips in your men sheesh

get to chipp'n!!

ok, seriously though... someone said, if you are doing keystroke whatever and friggn GPS surveillance..its time for a divorce, really..no seriously

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Which reminds me I have to battle the Egyptian washing machine tonight to do our intimate appeals that the laundry man won't do. le sigh. Talk about dirty laundry water and chips in the undies area.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

Okay, if we were to condense this thread, basically what we have left is this:

Men, of any nationality or age or social class are not to be trusted, unless of course they are Gay, and then they would not be a boy friend, but rather a girlfriend.

Because I have children, I should never try for happiness in my life, but rather sacrifice my future for them. At the same time, they should never know the realities of relationships and how they work, but rather they see women in a sexless light, good for nothing but cooking and cleaning and bringing home the bacon.

Because I have been married before, I am damaged goods.

What is sauce for the goose, is not neccesarily sauce for all the goose's.

Never repeat mistakes, so, I am not able to marry into the cauccasian race, the spanish race, or the arabic race,.........that narrows things down a lot.

Because I am old, fat, and damaged goods, no one could possibly ever love me for me. I am just a ticket to the country of choice at the present time.

Okay, How does this sound? No, not taking offence, just a big fan of cliff notes, lol

[doodlebugg 10]

Because I have children, I should never try for happiness in my life, but rather sacrifice my future for them. At the same time, they should never know the realities of relationships and how they work, but rather they see women in a sexless light, good for nothing but cooking and cleaning and bringing home the bacon.

Tammy I hope you don't think that is what I meant. All I was trying to convey is that it would be healthier to give the kids a break in between marriages/boyfriends/etc. Just a suggestion not a blanket statement. Heck maybe your kids are super resilient or something, who knows! All I know is that if I put my children through that process so soon after a horrific marriage I would definitely be remiss if I didn't simultaneously save for their future therapy appts.

That is not to say that you should NEVER try for happiness in your life. Geez. I waited years and years after my divorce but then my kids were only 1 and 2 when my first husband left me. I seriously had no time for dating, etc. and expended all of my energy on work and kids, work and kids. It did seem like I'd never find hapiness but eventually I did and those years that I was alone with the kids are actually the most precious memories I could ever have.

Whatever you decide I wish you and your family the best and hope that it works out. Seriously I do but as a mom I would really have to kick myself if I hadn't brought the issue up.

[Nothing1234 2]

Len: ohai sweetie... what would you think if I stuck a GPS locator up your azz?

Bren: uh... where are you?

Len: at work

Bren: are you on that VJ site again?

Len: uh, no....., why?

Bren: because when you are, you come up with the weirdest ideas, usually involving my azz.

OMG, that is Hazem. He knows when I have been on here...my wacky questions I come up with.

[Nothing1234 2]

Okay, if we were to condense this thread, basically what we have left is this:

Men, of any nationality or age or social class are not to be trusted, unless of course they are Gay, and then they would not be a boy friend, but rather a girlfriend.

Because I have children, I should never try for happiness in my life, but rather sacrifice my future for them. At the same time, they should never know the realities of relationships and how they work, but rather they see women in a sexless light, good for nothing but cooking and cleaning and bringing home the bacon.

Because I have been married before, I am damaged goods.

What is sauce for the goose, is not neccesarily sauce for all the goose's.

Never repeat mistakes, so, I am not able to marry into the cauccasian race, the spanish race, or the arabic race,.........that narrows things down a lot.

Because I am old, fat, and damaged goods, no one could possibly ever love me for me. I am just a ticket to the country of choice at the present time.

Okay, How does this sound? No, not taking offence, just a big fan of cliff notes, lol

Ummm correction on the Gay portion...according to my lovely husband. They are STILL MEN and thus considered under the same standards.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

NOOOOOOOOo Doodle, that was NOT directed at you, nor anyone else. Actually I was trying to make light of the whole thread before one of us or another did offend anyone else.

I agree, to a point about the children. Fortunately for me, my sons have big hearts and even bigger minds. I have also been very open with them about the failing of the relationship between Ibrahim and myself. I also have to fight for web time with Islam because the boys enjoy him as a friend. Islam teaches the boys all that I don't know about islam, which is a lot.

I reverted to Islam in January, I said my shahada with a friend in egypt via the telephone and IM. Do you know my lovely husband refused to even help me learn the prayers? Needless to say that if I had used him as a spiritual guide, I would never have made the step that led me to Allah.

[chaishai 1]

Okay, if we were to condense this thread, basically what we have left is this:

Men, of any nationality or age or social class are not to be trusted, unless of course they are Gay, and then they would not be a boy friend, but rather a girlfriend.

Because I have children, I should never try for happiness in my life, but rather sacrifice my future for them. At the same time, they should never know the realities of relationships and how they work, but rather they see women in a sexless light, good for nothing but cooking and cleaning and bringing home the bacon.

Because I have been married before, I am damaged goods.

What is sauce for the goose, is not neccesarily sauce for all the goose's.

Never repeat mistakes, so, I am not able to marry into the cauccasian race, the spanish race, or the arabic race,.........that narrows things down a lot.

Because I am old, fat, and damaged goods, no one could possibly ever love me for me. I am just a ticket to the country of choice at the present time.

Okay, How does this sound? No, not taking offence, just a big fan of cliff notes, lol

I think that people on VJ who have been burnt by relationships with middle eastern men who wanted green cards are making sure that you are thinking through the risks, and there are risks, before proceeding. I think that its partially well intended for you, and partially therapy for themselves. By saying that you shouldnt do it, means that they wouldnt do it again. Like alcoholics who get all preachy against alcohol when they are in recovery.

I think that people on VJ who are in relationships now with middle eastern men for whom they got green cards subconsciously worry that they could be used, even though all signs point otherwise, and they want to differentiate their story from yours by encouraging you to be careful when they didnt themselves.

Bottom line, like everyone says, its your life and your choice. Im sure you realize that there are risks. Becoming an insane person who wires and bugs the guy to track his every move isnt the healthiest move. Whats the difference if you get hurt at the moment of discovery or 6 months later. Financially I guess it could be an issue, but I guess financially you know what you are getting yourself into.

All the rest is just noise. Trying to generalize all men bc of their culture isnt going to be 100% accurate, then again stereotypes exist for a reason. The women on here who are burnt and are warning you clearly arent over middle eastern men themselves or why would they be here!