Non-legal wedding ceremony before getting a visa???

[JimVaPhuong 4,865]

We are on the same situation. Except we decided to have the religious wedding here in Brazil first, next month, and we don't even have NOA2 yet.

Like other people mentioned, the church won't marry you unless you are legally married but we explained our K-1 situation to the priest and the church made an exception for us. The religious ceremony here in Brazil won't be valid as a legal ceremony, so we will not be married in the eyes of the government. My family and I are planning such a big wedding, my whole family from many different parts of Brazil are coming to see me marry my fiance, and I wouldn't trade that for the world.

Since my wedding won't be legal, I don't think it will jeopardize our K-1 Visa. I can always not mention the wedding in the interview. Of course, if they asked about it I wouldn't lie, and would explain to them it wasn't legal.

If I waited to get married in America, and then have my wedding, it wouldn't be the same to me. I wouldn't be in Brazil to plan the wedding with my family, and my family wouldn't be able to go to America to attend a ceremony over there (his - my fiance, the USC - family will be able to come here next month). I know the "smart" thing would be wait and have the wedding in America, but no thanks.

I don't really want to inject myself into this firestorm, but...

Actually, the "smart" thing to do would have been to have your big wedding in Brazil, and REALLY get married, and then file for the K3 or IR1/CR1.

I don't know why people are making out like they have to compromise between what they believe is the right thing to do for their religion and family and what the US government requires them to do. The US government has taken into account that some people will want to marry outside the US, and they have provided specific classes of visas expressly for this purpose. What is the point of filing for a K1 if a marriage in the foreign spouse's country is so important? The K1 has lots of disadvantages that the K3 and IR1/CR1 don't have. Off the top of my head, the K1 only has two advantages over those other types of visas; you can get a K1 a little faster, and you can bring your fiance's kids who are over 18 but under 21 years old.

I presume the K2 doesn't apply to most people, so are they choosing the K1 just because it's faster?

[Mrs. Disney 0]

We were actually considering the K3, it would be better in our case. But he wouldn't be able to come to Brazil so soon to get married. He could start the K1 process without coming here to marry me so we went through the K1 path.

I just had a friend e-mail the US Embassy and ask them how they feel about a K1 filer getting married in a NON LEGAL religious ceremony before the legal marriage in America. Let's see what they say.

[laura819 0]

hello, as a fellow Christian, I would like to encourage you in love that God wants us to obey the laws. A legally binding wedding is valid not only in the government's eyes but in God's eyes. a ceremony by itself (without being legal) is not valid in God's eyes. As long as you are legally married by the government, you are married in God' eyes. the ceremony is important to you, i understand, but it is important you do things legally. Living together after you are legally married is perfectly fine...I'm sure your family will realize you arent living in fornication, as you will be married. We who are applying for the K1, are in a different situation then other couples marrying citizens, and hopefully your family will understand this. God knows our situation and He wants us to honor the laws! God bless you!

PB&Jam, you know I love you, but I disagree here. I have talked about this exact issue with my pastor, at the beginning of our process. He was the one that recommended to ME to do a non-legal church wedding early if need be (I decided against this being an option, after thinking about the potential risks). He assured me it would be "real" in the eyes of God, which is the more important part to me in the first place. He was more than willing to do a non-legal ceremony for me, and then, when my SO got over here on the K1, sign everything to make it legal.

I do, however, agree that God would want us to obey the laws, and that a legal wedding would also be valid in the eyes of God, but I don't think any of that means that God would not see a non-legal wedding as real. I don't mean to get into a religious argument, I just wanted the OP, and other people who may have this question in the future, as I did at one point, to know that your experience is not what everyone has experienced.

I hope you don't get mad or anything about this.

[Mrs. Disney 0]

Ok, the consulate in Rio de Janeiro answered me. I asked them if a religious marriage before entering the US would jeopardize the K1 Visa process. Here's their answer:

Dear Sir or Madam:

For immigration purposes, only the civil marriage is considered. Your religious marriage won’t affect your process.

Regards,

IV Unit

Some people here pointed out that a pastor or a minister in America has the authority to marry you, legally. If that's not the case in your country, then I think you should be ok with a religious ceremony. I'm glad I got that checked out.

[Greylove 0]

Thank you all again for your helpful advice!

Gary and Alda, in the future I only ask that you keep your responses constructive and polite. We are all adults here, and we should be acting as such. Regardless of your personal feelings on the subject at hand, there is no need to heap adolescent ridicule and scorn on people you don't even know, much less someone actually coming to you for help and advice. Truth be told, you brought up some very valid points and have challenged us to reconsider some things, but you risk making yourself irrelevant with the needless ridicule and personal attacks. No need to risk the hard earned respect of the people on this forum just to vent your anger at strangers.

Moving forward, I wish you well and thank you for what advice you did give.

Greyson

Gary,

Really, that's a bit much picking at someone's religion, don't you think?

You might find it odd that I sort of agree with you about 'two ceremonies'. To me, married is married. I don't understand many posts I read about people having one 'legal' ceremony and then a 'wedding' later - or before for that matter. It seems like placing too much importance on the 'party' aspect of weddings. But as I said - that is my opinion.

Insulting someone over their values is another matter, IMO.

Many persons are able to find an officiant who is willing to 'hold' the recordation of the marriage until a later time. Some are not. I suspect some of this 'luck' has to do with state or local law. In Canada, there is some wrinkle in the law (which a Canadian member might better explain) wherein officiants are forbidden to perform a ceremony without legally recording the marriage.

You might find it odd I chose to read this post of yours as they are typically on ignore. I shant make it a habit. But it is an important issue to me as it seems increasingly people simply cannot wait for anything. Everything must be what they want exactly and must be immediate. The system of visas does not work that way, and it perturbs me when these impatient self centered people expect the rest of us, Christians, CBP, USCIS, and anyone else they encounter to drop our values, the rules, the laws and get out of their way because THEY ARE IN LOVE!!!!!! And if we just can't do that then at least be satisfied they are "faking it" Thank you for being so considerate of others' Religion to FAKE a wedding for our sake.

I am NOT nit picking on the persons religion. I am defending her religion IF she has one. How arrogant, self centered would one have to be to ask a REAL clergy member from a REAL church to perform a FAKE wedding? The very entire idea is an eggregious insult and I am not suprised most clergy would not go along with it. As I read this, the OPs values are whatever serves her personal interest best and fastest. If I was a member of a church and discovered my church or clergy had participated in such a sham I would, at the minimum, quit the church. Maybe become Wiccan.

I respect Christians and their values, and real Christians do what they believe is right and do not try to find ways to weedle around it for their own personal benefit. There are options in the immigration law that allow for Christian values. She can get a K-1, delay the entry for up to 6 months, delay the wedding for up to 3 more months, sleep somewhere else in the meantime, and then have all she wants, Right? Oh, no, did someone say "delay"???? She could have a real wedding and file CR-1, what? The "delay word" again? But SHE'S IN LOVE!!!!!!!!! Didn't you READ????

She feels she is treated like a criminal for coming to visit her fiancee AND bringing a mattress? Imagine that. "Excuse me, but I am driving, chewing gum AND talking on my cell phone...please don't disturb me with questions about the mattress. I am on my way to a fake wedding...I'M IN LOVE, get out of my way!!!!"

To those who delayed to follow their Christian, or other religious beliefs, you have my utmost respect. I understand the difficulties of waiting for someone, (someone that can't easily visit like a Canadian) To further adhere to stricter and in your mind, more important, laws is certainly admirable.

[Alan D. 0]

Some people here pointed out that a pastor or a minister in America has the authority to marry you, legally. If that's not the case in your country, then I think you should be ok with a religious ceremony. I'm glad I got that checked out.

marriage has nothing to do with religion. that part is only in your mind.

a marriage is a legal contract between three parties: you, your SO, and the county you reside in.

so you can do whatever you want, the only legality is where the paperwork is filed. the pastor and minister have the power to officiate, same as Sheriff Andy Griffith or the captain of a ship. But it's not legal until you register at the county clerk's office.

(this is also why i have no problem with gay marriage.)

I should point out that we intend to do the same thing. There will be a Buddhist wedding ceremony in Thailand after the visa is approved, but we'll file the paperwork in the US.