Non-legal wedding ceremony before getting a visa???

[Greylove 0]

My fiance who lives in Washington and I were planning on having a wedding ceremony and reception in the US before obtaining our visa. This would NOT be a legal wedding, just a Christian Ceremony because we are expecting to get our Visa in the fall (crosses fingers) and we didn't want to have a winter wedding. Is this a really bad idea. We have already started planning the event, though we haven't really spent any money, I am down visiting this week and have plans to meet with the caterer and Florist and give deposits.

I was not concerned as long as it was not legal, however, I tried to bring a mattress across the boarder from Canada for my Fiance since he needed one and I wasn't using it and they were really on my case saying I was jumping to gun and that I was a potential immigrant and it looks bad if I start to look like I am EXPECTING to get into the country (even though I AM!!) and start bringing my things over. I mean, we have an open and close case in my opinion. We have no kids or past issues with traveling to and from the states, we have no records or anything. I am just concerned that someone coming over from Canada might mention that they are coming to our wedding and then they will assume we are legally married or something and it will void our Visa.

Can anyone recommend a way of doing this that won't risk the visa (has anyone attempted something like this??) Also, we would like to talk to a lawyer just to make sure that we are not doing this outside of the law, can anyone recommend a GOOD lawyer just for legal advice??

Please help, we really wanted to make this wedding thing work rather than just a last minute ceremony which no one from home will be able to make it to!!

Thanks so much!

[Nina+Matt 0]

why dont you get your visa first, then get married at a courthouse within 90 days of arrival, start your aos process and then have a big ceremony and reception the following year with all your friends and family?

dont you rather want a legal wedding when everybody is present then a non binding one?!

Edited June 1, 2009 by Nina+Matt

[TayRivers 4]

Get your K1 enter the US then next spring have the big fancy wedding you want. DO NOT RISK IT BEFORE YOU HAVE THE VISA.

[baron555 934]

just a Christian Ceremony

If it is officiated by a minister who normally is empowered to conduct real marriage ceremonies, then yes this is a bad idea.

I was not concerned as long as it was not legal,

they were really on my case saying I was jumping to gun and that I was a potential immigrant

I would take the hint and not keep trying to jump the gun. Just my opinion of course.

it will void our Visa.

Not really but could get denied at the interview stage. Why chance it?

Can anyone recommend a way of doing this that won't risk the visa

Why not just have a nice reception dinner and you two could get up and take an oath and everyone will offer their wishes.

[TimandJoyce 1]

Have you already started the K-1? I was a little unsure if you had.

You "could" have planned a real wedding, got married, and gone home while filing for K-3, or IR-1/CR-1 That petition takes a little longer. My niece, who lives in BC, got married in Oregon, but came home as he was moving to Canada, and so she started to file. They also did not have a big wedding, but within a year of their marriage, had the reception in Washington.

If you've started the K-1. I would agree that you wait for the approval, and have a civil ceremony and plan for a wedding party next spring, or depending on when the visa is granted, there is 6 months to cross the border, and 90 days to get married after you cross, so you've basically 9 months to plan. (but remember, they count days, not months, to expiry dates!)

Non-legal ceremonies are fine, btw, because there is NO marriage license involved. Nothing is signed or registered with anyone. But I would still wait until the visa was approved, and make your choices from that.

[Greylove 0]

The Christian wedding means much more to us as we are Christians and for us that is the most important step we can take in Committing to one another. We see marriage in the eyes of God as more important than in the eyes of the government.

We have considered getting married with the visa in the courthouse and then having a wedding next spring, but like my above response, the whole Christian wedding thing is more important to us and we aren't to excited about living together for a year before getting married before family and friends.

This is just a frustrating situation because there is nothing we can do to have the wedding we want and please everyone (my parents aren't too excited about me having my wedding after legally being married for a year).

Does anyone ever get sick of being treated like a Criminal just because you want to immigrate into the US. I don't even care if we live in the US, it is just where Grey is and that is all I care about!!

[baron555 934]

Since God has decided that you two are to be involved in an international relationship and since he knows that due to this things are not "normal"; he will forgive you. If pleasing your parents is more important, then do the K-1, get legally married but do not live together until the church ceremony can be conducted.

[Otto 83]

We have considered getting married with the visa in the courthouse and then having a wedding next spring, but like my above response, the whole Christian wedding thing is more important to us and we aren't to excited about living together for a year before getting married before family and friends.

If the ceremony is this important then perhaps you should get married first and then apply for a spousal visa.

There is the risk that if discovered, your ceremony COULD be interpreted as a marriage which would disqualify you for a fiancé visa (emphasis on COULD). I don't know about you but for me, terms like Could and Might are never very comforting when it comes to life-changing matters. Am always more comfortable with Will and Does.

[TayRivers 4]

The Christian wedding means much more to us as we are Christians and for us that is the most important step we can take in Committing to one another. We see marriage in the eyes of God as more important than in the eyes of the government.

We have considered getting married with the visa in the courthouse and then having a wedding next spring, but like my above response, the whole Christian wedding thing is more important to us and we aren't to excited about living together for a year before getting married before family and friends.

This is just a frustrating situation because there is nothing we can do to have the wedding we want and please everyone (my parents aren't too excited about me having my wedding after legally being married for a year).

Does anyone ever get sick of being treated like a Criminal just because you want to immigrate into the US. I don't even care if we live in the US, it is just where Grey is and that is all I care about!!

No One is treating you like a criminal, you chose to file for a K1 visa, knowing that you will need to get married in the USA within 90 days of entry.

If your marriage before your family and friends and god is the most important thing to you both then cancel your K1 visa have your wedding then file for CR1 visa.

Everyone has choices, its just a matter of taking the right ones for you.

[Tina&Roland 4]

My fiance who lives in Washington and I were planning on having a wedding ceremony and reception in the US before obtaining our visa. This would NOT be a legal wedding, just a Christian Ceremony because we are expecting to get our Visa in the fall (crosses fingers) and we didn't want to have a winter wedding. Is this a really bad idea. We have already started planning the event, though we haven't really spent any money, I am down visiting this week and have plans to meet with the caterer and Florist and give deposits.

I was not concerned as long as it was not legal, however, I tried to bring a mattress across the boarder from Canada for my Fiance since he needed one and I wasn't using it and they were really on my case saying I was jumping to gun and that I was a potential immigrant and it looks bad if I start to look like I am EXPECTING to get into the country (even though I AM!!) and start bringing my things over. I mean, we have an open and close case in my opinion. We have no kids or past issues with traveling to and from the states, we have no records or anything. I am just concerned that someone coming over from Canada might mention that they are coming to our wedding and then they will assume we are legally married or something and it will void our Visa.

Can anyone recommend a way of doing this that won't risk the visa (has anyone attempted something like this??) Also, we would like to talk to a lawyer just to make sure that we are not doing this outside of the law, can anyone recommend a GOOD lawyer just for legal advice??

Please help, we really wanted to make this wedding thing work rather than just a last minute ceremony which no one from home will be able to make it to!!

Thanks so much!

Hi,

Just letting you know that we tried this route about 2 months ago. Our ceremony was originally planned for August 2009 at my church in Toronto. We'd booked the church, notified relatives, and I bought the dress. Everything was fine and dandy...that is until our pastor told us that he couldn't do it if it wasn't legal. Apparently if you really want a Christian wedding, it has to be legal. Either you married first and then had the ceremony later but not the other way around. Anyway, this is just my two cents.

Hope all goes well!

Tina

[Tina&Roland 4]

My fiance who lives in Washington and I were planning on having a wedding ceremony and reception in the US before obtaining our visa. This would NOT be a legal wedding, just a Christian Ceremony because we are expecting to get our Visa in the fall (crosses fingers) and we didn't want to have a winter wedding. Is this a really bad idea. We have already started planning the event, though we haven't really spent any money, I am down visiting this week and have plans to meet with the caterer and Florist and give deposits.

I was not concerned as long as it was not legal, however, I tried to bring a mattress across the boarder from Canada for my Fiance since he needed one and I wasn't using it and they were really on my case saying I was jumping to gun and that I was a potential immigrant and it looks bad if I start to look like I am EXPECTING to get into the country (even though I AM!!) and start bringing my things over. I mean, we have an open and close case in my opinion. We have no kids or past issues with traveling to and from the states, we have no records or anything. I am just concerned that someone coming over from Canada might mention that they are coming to our wedding and then they will assume we are legally married or something and it will void our Visa.

Can anyone recommend a way of doing this that won't risk the visa (has anyone attempted something like this??) Also, we would like to talk to a lawyer just to make sure that we are not doing this outside of the law, can anyone recommend a GOOD lawyer just for legal advice??

Please help, we really wanted to make this wedding thing work rather than just a last minute ceremony which no one from home will be able to make it to!!

Thanks so much!

Hi,

Just letting you know that we tried this route about 2 months ago. Our ceremony was originally planned for August 2009 at my church in Toronto. We'd booked the church, notified relatives, and I bought the dress. Everything was fine and dandy...that is until our pastor told us that he couldn't do it if it wasn't legal. Apparently if you really want a Christian wedding, it has to be legal. Either you married first and then had the ceremony later but not the other way around. Anyway, this is just my two cents.

Hope all goes well!

Tina

Oh, just to add to that, I was very disappointed to hear the news.

Now, we're hoping that our visa would be approved by October and we'll have a December wedding. The August date is reserved for a Jack and Jill co-ed shower.

[TimandJoyce 1]

The Christian wedding means much more to us as we are Christians and for us that is the most important step we can take in Committing to one another. We see marriage in the eyes of God as more important than in the eyes of the government.

We have considered getting married with the visa in the courthouse and then having a wedding next spring, but like my above response, the whole Christian wedding thing is more important to us and we aren't to excited about living together for a year before getting married before family and friends.

This is just a frustrating situation because there is nothing we can do to have the wedding we want and please everyone (my parents aren't too excited about me having my wedding after legally being married for a year).

Does anyone ever get sick of being treated like a Criminal just because you want to immigrate into the US. I don't even care if we live in the US, it is just where Grey is and that is all I care about!!

I do realize that different cultures, and religions have different customs and for that I apologize. I am VERY Christian myself, and am going by what happened to a couple from my church several years ago. As his divorce was not yet completed, they could not get married. However they both had children with them in the summer, returning home in the fall. So we had an "engagement" non legal ceremony in their back yard. She didn't wear a wedding dress, but looked beautiful. And they made promises to each other, that they will wed at a later date. Can't really remember all was said, but it was so nice. There was a cake, and pictures, you'd think it had been the real thing!! Later on they wed quietly, with no fanfare. I was hoping to do something like there here for my friends and family that can't make it to the wedding. However, Tim won't be able to come up as he hoped, so that's out!! Tim and I will not live together until we are LEGALLY married as well, and we're middle aged!! All of that will be saved until after. I stay with his sister when I go visit. So please, once again accept my apologizes as I do know how important it is to you. Unfortunately, when dealing with the government, we need to follow their rules, whether we think it's fair or not!! There are lots of choices for you, you need to decided the right one for you, and pray that your family understands there is nothing you can do to change it.

Best wishes!

[Greylove 0]

Thanks for all the responses, I think that settles it then. We will have to just wait and throw together a quick wedding when we get our visa... I'm sure I can make a winter wedding work, but Grey will be REALLY disappointed (he HATES the winter!!)

Oh and when I said I felt like a Criminal, that was because every time I cross the border and mention I am engaged to an american they give me the third degree and treat me like #######... I know it is their jobs, but I still don't care for it.

[jundp 191]

My husband and I wanted to have a religious ceremony in Germany with our families present before he left to move to the US and do the legal wedding. Alas, this was not possible because since the ceremony wouldn't be legal in Germany, the pastor wasn't willing to perform the ceremony. We opted instead to do have our religious ceremony in the US, which was not a huge affair and thus we were able to plan it once he'd had his interview. We got our religious ceremony and we didn't break any rules of the K1.

No, I don't feel like a criminal, nor did we ever. It's frustrating, but such is the way of life. We chose to do a K1 rather than get married first and be separated after marriage while waiting for the spousal visa to go through. For us, it was far more important to be together once we were married than to have the perfect wedding.

If you don't want to live together before the wedding and if you can't pull off a religious ceremony within the time frame allotted by the visa, perhaps the better choice is to get married first, and then file the correct spousal visa.

If you have a 'religious' ceremony in the US, it will be a legal ceremony as the US recognizes the legality of both civil AND religious wedding ceremonies. You may be hard-pressed to find a preacher who will do a ceremony without signing the license or filing it with the courts. That's also a BIG risk to take for the interview...

[Nina+Matt 0]

why not a winter wedding? its less expensive!!