Was I Wrong?

[MrsAmera 41]

I don't think it's wrong for you to offer your opinion to your sister at all. Is it hard to go to work and have your child in daycare or with a sitter/nanny? Sure...would I want to stay home all the time - not a chance in hell. But that's me. I do think it's selfish of your sister, especially if her husband is struggling to keep up. But really that's the decision they have to make. She probably is use to being home now (you said they have 2 other children) and feels like she wants to give this child the same opportunity. Maybe in time she will be willing to consider other options. I don't think you should tell her "I don't want to hear it" yet. If she comes to you - maybe help her to see where the money has to go, or better yet have her husband do it! A lot of times people who aren't working (jsut saying this from my experience with my husband right now as we wait for his EAD) really have little idea about the budget - how much there is and how it's getting spread out. Once I showed him, he began to understand things MUCH better!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I do think it's selfish of your sister, especially if her husband is struggling to keep up. But really that's the decision they have to make. She probably is use to being home now (you said they have 2 other children) and feels like she wants to give this child the same opportunity.

Selfish? Being a stay-at-home mom is one the most underrated and unselfish jobs anybody can do. It took two to make that baby - sorry but the decision to have another child and the financial consequences of that - her husband was full aware of BEFORE she got pregnant, so don't give him too much sympathy. If they have no choice financially, then she'll have to work, but in any case that's not really the issue here. The issue is what the OP should do for her sister. She should tell her she supports her whatever she does.

Edited June 29, 2006 by StevenJinky

[nayalamb 0]

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

you make up your mind! your saying you want HER to work and leave her kids at day care.

then you sputter her getting HIRED help? so basicly she is paying to be away from her kid

and pay someone to be up in her house doing things - she wants to do. I think you need to stop

poking your nose in your sisters life. if you were my sister I would have to tell you off - you would be crying with your tail between your legs. you dont even have a baby and trying to advise your sister.

wait til you have a baby.

shon, i was not "poking my nose" in anywhere... she ASKED my opinion and i gave it. just as YOU are entitled to YOUR opinion. i asked, you replied. i wouldn't say YOU were poking YOUR nose in, would i?

i am not TELLING her what to do. i gave her several options to CONSIDER. what they decide is totally up to them.

*********************************

in reference to the FMLA debate... i dunno what it is in america but at home, the law (revised in 2001) allows for 33.3% of your wages for up to 12 weeks, usually taken as 4 weeks before the baby and 8 after the birth, unpaid leave for an additional 4 if medically necessary, only allows for ONE maternity leave every THREE years (unless you change employers), you must be employed at least 12 months by the employer... if its less than that, i think you only get a week. unless your employer opts to provide you with a better deal, which is unlikely at best, you are up sh*t creek.

*********************************

in response to amera, i dunno if i would say selfish really. things like this have lots of considerations. some would say she is selfish... some would say the hubby is...

steven, yes it takes 2 to make babies, but she DID work with the older 2 boys (after taking some time off) and they went to daycare. so yeah, i feel bad for him because he didn't expect things to turn out differently this time. and i do feel bad for her because work and/or home is not always an easy decision for any woman.

she knows i love and support her no matter what. its not like i would sever our ties over a difference of opinion. just as she was against me moving to the states. we agree to disagree and move on.

charlesandnessa... i can't indulge in sister brawls anymore... i am not in that kind of shape anymore, i might break something important.

[Ban Hammer 12,867]

charlesandnessa... i can't indulge in sister brawls anymore... i am not in that kind of shape anymore, i might break something important.

ah #######, i gotta stop selling tickets then

[babybunny 2]

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

you make up your mind! your saying you want HER to work and leave her kids at day care.

then you sputter her getting HIRED help? so basicly she is paying to be away from her kid

and pay someone to be up in her house doing things - she wants to do. I think you need to stop

poking your nose in your sisters life. if you were my sister I would have to tell you off - you would be crying with your tail between your legs. you dont even have a baby and trying to advise your sister.

wait til you have a baby.

shon, i was not "poking my nose" in anywhere... she ASKED my opinion and i gave it. just as YOU are entitled to YOUR opinion. i asked, you replied. i wouldn't say YOU were poking YOUR nose in, would i?

i am not TELLING her what to do. i gave her several options to CONSIDER. what they decide is totally up to them.

*********************************

in reference to the FMLA debate... i dunno what it is in america but at home, the law (revised in 2001) allows for 33.3% of your wages for up to 12 weeks, usually taken as 4 weeks before the baby and 8 after the birth, unpaid leave for an additional 4 if medically necessary, only allows for ONE maternity leave every THREE years (unless you change employers), you must be employed at least 12 months by the employer... if its less than that, i think you only get a week. unless your employer opts to provide you with a better deal, which is unlikely at best, you are up sh*t creek.

*********************************

in response to amera, i dunno if i would say selfish really. things like this have lots of considerations. some would say she is selfish... some would say the hubby is...

steven, yes it takes 2 to make babies, but she DID work with the older 2 boys (after taking some time off) and they went to daycare. so yeah, i feel bad for him because he didn't expect things to turn out differently this time. and i do feel bad for her because work and/or home is not always an easy decision for any woman.

she knows i love and support her no matter what. its not like i would sever our ties over a difference of opinion. just as she was against me moving to the states. we agree to disagree and move on.

charlesandnessa... i can't indulge in sister brawls anymore... i am not in that kind of shape anymore, i might break something important.

1st .. you posted on a PUBLIC THREAD. - seemingly you forgot that when you started talking about your sisters wishes.

2nd IF you dont like whats being said dont read it!- move on!

3rd.. its poking your nose in it the MOMENT your sister was upset! - try offering support to your sister for its HER choice and her life! just like you make choices - proble she dont like but she still is your sister.

4. if you were my sister on here spreading details about me I would be disappointed. what ever happend the days when sisters supported each other.? you proble forgot that when you were busy - telling her what to do.

[Ban Hammer 12,867]

shon, no one expects her to be superwoman. hence, hired help.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

you make up your mind! your saying you want HER to work and leave her kids at day care.

then you sputter her getting HIRED help? so basicly she is paying to be away from her kid

and pay someone to be up in her house doing things - she wants to do. I think you need to stop

poking your nose in your sisters life. if you were my sister I would have to tell you off - you would be crying with your tail between your legs. you dont even have a baby and trying to advise your sister.

wait til you have a baby.

shon, i was not "poking my nose" in anywhere... she ASKED my opinion and i gave it. just as YOU are entitled to YOUR opinion. i asked, you replied. i wouldn't say YOU were poking YOUR nose in, would i?

i am not TELLING her what to do. i gave her several options to CONSIDER. what they decide is totally up to them.

*********************************

in reference to the FMLA debate... i dunno what it is in america but at home, the law (revised in 2001) allows for 33.3% of your wages for up to 12 weeks, usually taken as 4 weeks before the baby and 8 after the birth, unpaid leave for an additional 4 if medically necessary, only allows for ONE maternity leave every THREE years (unless you change employers), you must be employed at least 12 months by the employer... if its less than that, i think you only get a week. unless your employer opts to provide you with a better deal, which is unlikely at best, you are up sh*t creek.

*********************************

in response to amera, i dunno if i would say selfish really. things like this have lots of considerations. some would say she is selfish... some would say the hubby is...

steven, yes it takes 2 to make babies, but she DID work with the older 2 boys (after taking some time off) and they went to daycare. so yeah, i feel bad for him because he didn't expect things to turn out differently this time. and i do feel bad for her because work and/or home is not always an easy decision for any woman.

she knows i love and support her no matter what. its not like i would sever our ties over a difference of opinion. just as she was against me moving to the states. we agree to disagree and move on.

charlesandnessa... i can't indulge in sister brawls anymore... i am not in that kind of shape anymore, i might break something important.

1st .. you posted on a PUBLIC THREAD. - seemingly you forgot that when you started talking about your sisters wishes.

2nd IF you dont like whats being said dont read it!- move on!

3rd.. its poking your nose in it the MOMENT your sister was upset! - try offering support to your sister for its HER choice and her life! just like you make choices - proble she dont like but she still is your sister.

4. if you were my sister on here spreading details about me I would be disappointed. what ever happend the days when sisters supported each other.? you proble forgot that when you were busy - telling her what to do.

ding! break! you two back to your corners now.