pregnant, and complicated- need advice abt K-1

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved. I don't know about Morocco how it is but when the ladies said something along these lines I was not surprised since it's the same MENA region. I am sorry for you though that it's not like Western culture here where those ideas are more accepted with having a baby with your fiance while still married but legally separated. That is complicated indeed. I am also curious what your fiances response and his families response to the news was. If they are supportive and you go through the visa process which was what your question was surrounding it all depends on the consular you get and their perception of the situation. To be honest that part is a ####### shoot but I've read many reports that Morocco is about as easy as Egypt if not worse because of high fraud. Don't be frightened by your introduction by fire. It's all part of VJ and we're here if you need us.

[SuperDuper! 230]

So, I met him on Facebook last year (while in a short-lived, miserable marrige) fell in love online, separated from my husband, and last month travelled to Morocco to meet him. We had a wonderful time, and we plan to marry when my divorce is final (which will be October). I got back to the US and discovered I am pregnant. This goes against Moroccan tradition, and Moroccan law. I'm having the baby, inchallah, and plan to file his K1 in November. Will our child help us or hinder us in any ways? Its certainly proof that we're serious, lol.. but I worry it may get us in trouble. Any advice?

Sarah

Having sex makes a relationship serious? Wow, thanks for straightening us out on that one. you mean it shows that you werent serious about using protection?

[sara..... 371]

i agree u have been hit hard here but the reason is Islam doesn't allow sex before marraige and if a child results from that action the child for the most part is considered illegal child............ur o/s is from a muslim country he knows fully well what he did was wrong, i have no idea if ur muslim or not but i would guess not........a child will not help ur case with the embassy......it prolly will make alot of problems for the both of u if u go back to his country before u marry him and sure there will be many people counting their fingers.......but what ever happens to u i pray for u the best.......good luck

sara

[Sandrila 1]

Despite whether or not she "made a mistake" I dont think it is fair for the responses to be so harsh.

She may not have put herself in the best position but it is a reality that she now must face.

I hope that GOD give her the strength and guidance to make it through this difficult time

and that her SO is respectable and true.

[sara535 15]

wow, what a gretting for a new member looking for some advice. Come on MENA ladies, I think we can do a little better than that!

Squeaky, its probably true that a baby isnt going to make much difference either way to the USCIS. Its not proof of a serious ongoing relationship. You cant file the K1 until your divorce is final so use this time to compile evidence of your continuing relations and get ready to file a really good petition in November. take some time to read the guides, FAQs and red flag issues on this site (and others) so when you do your initial filing you can address everything - this seems to be the best tactic to have relatively smooth sailing. Good luck

[KittyPollitt 284]

First, thank you to those who have given good advice... To answer some questions, I've known him a year, we were online friends first, his family is very supportive of us- while it may be a Muslim country, not every family is strict, (just like my family are Christmas and Easter Catholics, lol). I have dealt with men hunting for Green Cards in the past, and I know I'm not in that situation now, he is not pushing me to do any of this, and quite honestly I think the thought of living in America scares the ####### out of him, but he's willing to do it so that we can be together. I spoke to my immigration lawyer today, after this onslaught of negativity, and she told me that we should have no problems, as long as we can prove that our relationship is legitimate, that a child has no bearing on our situation, and nothing about our child need be included in our application. She did tell me that it would be best if I didn't take the baby to Morocco until we are married. Oh yes, and I am not due in the summer, I am due in late November. I can thank Maryland divorce law for making my marriage look alot longer than it was, I have to wait a year for it to be final, even though I only lived with him for a little less than 4 months, and I currently have no clue where he is. Really, I just want to move on with my life with someone whom I adore, and who was there for me as a dear friend when I went through the horror of a fraudulent marriage and subsequent uprooting of the life I was just starting to build, and who, thank God, I found later to be the love of my life. I'm terribly sorry if our actions have been offensive to anyone on this forum, I just thought I could find some kind of support here, perhaps I was wrong, perhaps I was right.

Thanks again.

[caybee 21]

Despite whether or not she "made a mistake" I dont think it is fair for the responses to be so harsh.

She may not have put herself in the best position but it is a reality that she now must face.

I hope that GOD give her the strength and guidance to make it through this difficult time

and that her SO is respectable and true.

I know someone who went down a very similar path, K-1 through Casa with a baby on the way (no one on VJ, so no need to speculate). They were successful and have been a happy, loving family in the U.S. for years now, no sign of anyone using anyone. And the rumor mill didn't run overtime in the father's hometown. It can be done. I didn't get the feeling the baby helped or hindered their journey. Humans can be impulsive and make errors in judgment, but what's done is done. Now it's up to the OP to make the best decisions she can for herself and her child.

[doodlebugg 10]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved.

Actually if she was living in Egypt she'd probably be honor killed by now.

I hope that you find the help you're looking for but seriously you had to know that in a mena forum you'd get some negativity for 1) having sex outside of marriage and 2) having sex with another man while you're still married.

[SuperDuper! 230]

Despite whether or not she "made a mistake" I dont think it is fair for the responses to be so harsh.

She may not have put herself in the best position but it is a reality that she now must face.

I hope that GOD give her the strength and guidance to make it through this difficult time

and that her SO is respectable and true.

The way things turned out, it sounds like she was in the best position.

[KittyPollitt 284]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved.

Actually if she was living in Egypt she'd probably be honor killed by now.

Thank goodness I'm not in Egypt, and thank goodness I don't associate with negative, fanatical individuals like you who would say such an completely off topic, off colour comment.

[doodlebugg 10]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved.

Actually if she was living in Egypt she'd probably be honor killed by now.

Thank goodness I'm not in Egypt, and thank goodness I don't associate with negative, fanatical individuals like you who would say such an completely off topic, off colour comment.

How on earth was that off topic?? I was just replying to what Olivia said it would be like in Egypt in your situation. If you're shocked about that then good luck if you go to Morocco with the baby or pregnant. BTW I'm not fanatical at all. I don't believe in honor killings but I'm not in denial about them either. They're much more commonplace than one might think.

[msheesha 548]

I assume that things like honor killings are the reason your husband lives here in the US now.

Although it's hard to understand the actions of the original poster, talking about honor killing isn't relevant because she obviously does not live in Egypt.

The OP obviously also came on here looking for answers and support, and while it's easy to judge, others are right - it's not what she asked for, and not what anyone would want if we were looking for help and support.

[KittyPollitt 284]

I know from Egypt that the situation you're in would make you a single mother because of the social stigma and laws involved.

Actually if she was living in Egypt she'd probably be honor killed by now.

Thank goodness I'm not in Egypt, and thank goodness I don't associate with negative, fanatical individuals like you who would say such an completely off topic, off colour comment.

How on earth was that off topic?? I was just replying to what Olivia said it would be like in Egypt in your situation. If you're shocked about that then good luck if you go to Morocco with the baby or pregnant. BTW I'm not fanatical at all. I don't believe in honor killings but I'm not in denial about them either. They're much more commonplace than one might think.

Lets see, it has NOTHING to do with my situation, I'm not shocked about it, I'm perfectly aware about the way things are. The bottom line is, I'm NOT in Morocco, I'm NOT in Egypt- I asked a simple question, and your comment was simply a smart #### comment. Perhaps you should take it to a topic about honor killings and Islamic law, instead of one on US Immigration law.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I think we need to lay off of her. Seriously, is anybody fit to judge this person? Leave her alone and give advice only. Are you satisfying God by judging her and throwing comments around??? Are you much different??? She knows what she feels in her relationship and was just asking for some advice. Not to be thrown out to the dogs like a piece of meat. She is going to be living in America, not Egypt, not Morocco! Believe me, I understand how Egyptians are on this subject and actually was very surprised when issues similar to this came up how different some take situations like this....some worse and some actually better.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

So, I met him on Facebook last year (while in a short-lived, miserable marrige) fell in love online, separated from my husband, and last month travelled to Morocco to meet him. We had a wonderful time, and we plan to marry when my divorce is final (which will be October). I got back to the US and discovered I am pregnant. This goes against Moroccan tradition, and Moroccan law. I'm having the baby, inchallah, and plan to file his K1 in November. Will our child help us or hinder us in any ways? Its certainly proof that we're serious, lol.. but I worry it may get us in trouble. Any advice?

Sarah

All I can say is best of luck to you with your filing process. Make sure to

You will find all kinds of judgmental b1tches and chopfuvks on the internet and in real life. What they think of you is none of your concern. Do what you have to do and let them bark.

Peace, Len