Weird Things Americans Have Said To/Asked Me

[LDora 7]

I haven't seen a thread like this, so I got curious. I'd always assumed the cluelessness movies and television portray Americans as having about Canada just that -- a portrayal. However, I've been here for almost two years now and I have heard some pretty strange, silly things about ye olde motherlande from well meaning Americans. And to be fair, I've had my share of stupid misconceptions, too. So I thought I'd share and see if anyone else has had similar experiences. ALL OF THESE THINGS WERE HONESTLY SAID TO ME IN ALL SERIOUSNESS BY WONDERFUL PEOPLE WHO JUST DON'T KNOW THAT MUCH ABOUT CANADA. Much of it came from people who have become my close friends.

THINGS SAID TO ME:

"You must have been really glad when they finally started allowing strawberries up there, huh?"

Yes. Before the advent of strawberries, all I could do was suck on ice cubes and DREAM.

"My friend says if I go to Canada I can get a guided moose tour. Would I have to book in advance for that?"

You're going to be one of those tourists who winds up on the evening news, aren't you?

"What's with your flag?"

Oh yeah?! Well, what's with yourSHUTUP.

"Man, I wish I'd gone to high school in Canada. I bet you know how to tan hides and everything."

The key part to your statement is "everything".

"How can you not speak French? I thought that was the law up there."

It is. I'm on the lam!

"Do you know Pete?"

Uh.

"Oh, he's really friendly."

Oh yeah! Friendly Canada Pete. Yeah, he's awesome. He died, by the way.

"Say it. 'A boot'. Ahahaha. That's awesome."

I hate you.

"Don't get mad, but . . . are you guys like bears? I mean, when winter comes around, you like eat all you can to put on an extra layer of body fat for protection, right?"

Don't be silly. Why would I be angry about that? Come here, let me hug your throat.

"What have you ever done for us? Besides William Shatner."

You should be nicer to me. Remember Celine Dion? We can send down another one of her if you don't behave.

Once again, in all seriousness:

STUPID THINGS I HAVE SAID/ASKED ABOUT AMERICA:

"Idaho. That's where all the potatoes come from, right?"

ALL OF THEM.

"If nobody down here speaks French, then what does it say below all the English instructions on the back of all your products?"

Spanish instead? INGENIOUS!

"It's so nice that they play cricket recordings at night."

This was at Disney World, while walking back to the hotel at night. Yes, I had never heard a real, live cricket before.

"If I saw the President on the street, and I went up to shake his hand, Secret Service would probably shoot me, huh?"

Those sunglasses and ear pieces are VERY intimidating when all you have as a frame of reference are mounties.

"A turkey leg? It's not even Thanksgiving! Isn't that illegal?"

People smuggle turkeys across the border all. the. time.

"Oh my God. We can't shop here. This convenience store sells ALCOHOL. We don't want to be here when the cops show up!"

Cheese it! It's the fuzz!

Also:

FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT AMERICA: Husband, increased diversity, theme parks, people, bumper stickers everywhere, increased percentage of meeting Mike Rowe or Gordon Ramsay

LEAST FAVOURITE THINGS ABOUT AMERICA: No Tim Hortons, Fire ants. Whose brilliant idea was THAT?

[The_Dude 1,142]

Wait, your telling me that Strange Brew isn't a factual depiction of Canadian Society?

[MrsCat 6]

those are funny.

I had to explain was a toque was yesterday. Its hard. I came up with, the knit cap thing you put on your head in winter.

[The_Dude 1,142]

My dumbest question was last week when I went to Ontario to help Mel pack, and to attend our interview. I noticed that the grass was all a very light yellow. So, I asked Mel, and I think her mom was in the car when they would re-plant the grass. In my defense, grass is green year round. It only turns that color when you don't water it for 6 weeks

[SonoranSongbird 3]

See, down here, "toke" means something altogether different.....

I'd just call it a winter hat.

[MrsCat 6]

My dumbest question was last week when I went to Ontario to help Mel pack, and to attend our interview. I noticed that the grass was all a very light yellow. So, I asked Mel, and I think her mom was in the car when they would re-plant the grass. In my defense, grass is green year round. It only turns that color when you don't water it for 6 weeks

You know when you got out of the car, she muttered "dumba$$ americans. . . "

See, down here, "toke" means something altogether different.....

I'd just call it a winter hat.

Heheheheehe, a much simpler explanation. I'll try that one next time.

[Reba 2]

A couple of weeks ago a neighbour said to me "hey, when I lived in Talahassee, my neighbours were Canadians. Do you know them?"

[LDora 7]

My husband thought I was making up toques for the longest time.

"It's a cap! For your head in the winter!"

"So like a ski cap."

"Yes. BUT DIFFERENT."

"Different how?!"

" . . . IT JUST IS."

When my husband came to visit me in Edmonton in September, it was still warm out, but he wore his jacket. In the restaurant. While everyone else was still in shorts. He thought they were crazy.

[SonoranSongbird 3]

Hey, I used to live in So Cal. The grass there is really only green about 3 or 4 months out of the year.

Here there are actually different types of grass. Some stay green year round and others turn brown in winter. So some of the yards in my neighborhood look really weird.

MrsCat, I did the same kind of ####### when my husband said something about a toque to me. I think it actually does have a more specific meaning than just saying "winter hat." It has to be a wool one, right? Would my fleece hat be considered a "toque"? But yeah, that is probably simpler.

[raymaga 25]

I got laughed at pretty hard at work when I asked if "we had any elastics"..... they're rubber bands down here!!!!!

You can't call a shopping cart a "buggy" here either.

And when I say "I was pissed".... I don't mean I was mad!!!!!!

And I MISS TIM HORTON'S SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!! Why aren't there any here????????

[The_Dude 1,142]

Hey, I used to live in So Cal. The grass there is really only green about 3 or 4 months out of the year.

Then you should have watered your lawn more than once a month

Grass is green here year round

[Ontarkie 13,944]

One day I was out in a store and was asked by the owner of the place if eskimo's look like the chinese woman cause he thought the chinese girls were pretty. (His words not mine). I didn't even know how to anwser that one I was blown away by the question

Edited March 26, 2009 by Ontarkie

[shawna7 4]

hehe I LOVE this thread!! Whenever I mention to someone that I'm from Toronto..first off..they say..Canada right? and then wonder how I EVER lived in such a cold place..when I proceed to tell them that **yes the winters can be brutal..but the summers we can have serious heat waves** nobody beleives me!! they look at me like I'm crazy!!LOL

If they really won't eventually accept what I'm telling them..I then have no choice but to mess with them..tell them how we all ride moose(or bears) to school..because the buses can't make through it the snow to our igloo doors

I swear I'm going to have to learn curling..I'll just feed into the**all Canadians curl**

[MrsCat 6]

One day I was out in a store and was asked by the owner of the place if eskimo's look like the chinese woman cause he thought the chinese girls were pretty. (His words not mine). I didn't even know how to anwser that one I was blown away by the question

:lol:

Ok, that wins the random award for the day.

[The_Dude 1,142]

When Mel and I were taking the train from London, ON to Montreal, I looked at the map of where VIA Rail goes, and noticed....... That it has service to Churchill, Manitoba. Despite my better judgement, I had to point it out to Mel. Her reaction was priceless.

"Jesus, you do realize that you can't ride a polar bear right? You can't feed them, you can't pet them. They kill people. I'm not going to Churchill with you. You can go yourself".

I just added that one to the list of things i'm never allowed to have. Never allowed to have a rascal, or a midget bodyguard either.