Need to file removal of conditions but separated

[Magnolia31 0]

I posted this in the removal of conditions forum but was told I should probably post it here.

Anyhow, I have a question regarding how to file for the removal of conditions if you are separated. My husband and i have not been able to get along ever since he returned from Iraq last summer. He has just received orders to get stationed on a short tour to Ft Meade, Maryland. Since it is a short tour, me and my kids will be staying in Texas and I am not sure if this will all end up in divorce. Basically, my husband is controlling and dominating and no longer wants to be with me because he says I "don't listen" to what he tells me to do, etc. Frankly, Im tired of it also because I am walking on eggshells. When I agree with him, he loves me to death. When I disagree, he screams separation and divorce.

My husband has put our house up on the market and we have had offers come in from people who wanna buy it. He plans on selling this house before he leaves in may. Anyhow, so he keeps telling me my clock is ticking and he is basically putting me and my children out of the house with no place to live. I have friends and family in Texas so this is where I plan on going.

Anyhow, on the I-751 Form it looks to me as if the waiver options all apply to a divorce. What should a person like myself do that is separated? I will be filing all by myself.

I have two kids which are both US citizens ... my youngest (11 months old) is my husband's daughter. My worst fear is getting denied and then having to leave here without my children.

So what is the best way to handle filing for removal of conditions? Also, what kind of evidence do I send since I am filing all alone?

What about the affidavit of support? I read that if a husband signed this, then when i file the I-751 i need to update his address also even though we are not together. Well he won't give me a copy of his orders from the military and told me he is not telling me where he will be.

I really think this whole situation is going to ruin my entire life. i dont want to be without my kids.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

sister Magnolia- I have been reading your previous posts .

I am not sure of how to go about this, but just wanted to wish you luck

[Magnolia31 0]

sister Magnolia- I have been reading your previous posts .

I am not sure of how to go about this, but just wanted to wish you luck

Thank you. Im so scared. I wanted to return to Germany at first but he wont sign the passport documents for our daughter. I dont want to leave my kids behind.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Have you read the guides?

[Magnolia31 0]

Have you read the guides?

I did but don't see anything that pertains to my situation. Did I overlook something?

[lostinNJ 3]

Have you read the guides?

I did but don't see anything that pertains to my situation. Did I overlook something?

I would advise you to contact a qualified immigration attorney, they're lawyers that offer free consultation. Best of luck to you and sorry to hear about your situation

[sj5 4]

Thank you. Im so scared. I wanted to return to Germany at first but he wont sign the passport documents for our daughter. I dont want to leave my kids behind.

He is using your child as a tool to hurt you. He is abusing you emotionally. Anyway, best wishes to you and be strong for your child. Don't let him draining you. Try to be happy even you're in complicated and difficult situations.

Edited March 10, 2009 by sj5

[MihaelaNYS 10]

I think you have 2 options if he doesn't collaborate for you I-751

1. file married with an abuse waiver and/or a hardship waiver (for the USC -your kid - which will suffer without her mommy)

2. talk to your husband and get a quick uncontested divorce (see the laws in Texas regarding matrimonial problems) if you can get it in time, you file divorced (self petitioned) and make sure you get all the evidences of a good faith marriage.

I really feel for you (I am in a somewhat similar situation but thank God I don't have any kids with the as****).

Good luck and be strong!

[Bobby+Umit 161]

I posted this in the removal of conditions forum but was told I should probably post it here.

Anyhow, I have a question regarding how to file for the removal of conditions if you are separated. My husband and i have not been able to get along ever since he returned from Iraq last summer. He has just received orders to get stationed on a short tour to Ft Meade, Maryland. Since it is a short tour, me and my kids will be staying in Texas and I am not sure if this will all end up in divorce. Basically, my husband is controlling and dominating and no longer wants to be with me because he says I "don't listen" to what he tells me to do, etc. Frankly, Im tired of it also because I am walking on eggshells. When I agree with him, he loves me to death. When I disagree, he screams separation and divorce.

My husband has put our house up on the market and we have had offers come in from people who wanna buy it. He plans on selling this house before he leaves in may. Anyhow, so he keeps telling me my clock is ticking and he is basically putting me and my children out of the house with no place to live. I have friends and family in Texas so this is where I plan on going.

Anyhow, on the I-751 Form it looks to me as if the waiver options all apply to a divorce. What should a person like myself do that is separated? I will be filing all by myself.

I have two kids which are both US citizens ... my youngest (11 months old) is my husband's daughter. My worst fear is getting denied and then having to leave here without my children.

So what is the best way to handle filing for removal of conditions? Also, what kind of evidence do I send since I am filing all alone?

What about the affidavit of support? I read that if a husband signed this, then when i file the I-751 i need to update his address also even though we are not together. Well he won't give me a copy of his orders from the military and told me he is not telling me where he will be.

I really think this whole situation is going to ruin my entire life. i dont want to be without my kids.

Find yourself a really good divorce lawyer. From what you wrote, you have a good case for abandonment. Plus, you can probably get a chunk of the money on the sale of the house, and with the divorce, you would be in a better position to sponsor yourself. He threatens you with divorce - take him up on it.

Having the children is a plus on your side, since he is military and prone to deployment. I seriously doubt you would be forced to go home without your children. You can fight that, base on hardship grounds.

[Magnolia31 0]

Have you read the guides?

I did but don't see anything that pertains to my situation. Did I overlook something?

I would advise you to contact a qualified immigration attorney, they're lawyers that offer free consultation. Best of luck to you and sorry to hear about your situation

Thank you for your reply! Do you know how I can find one in my area? I have no idea where to look.

[Magnolia31 0]

Yes, I know.

My husband is also extremely narcissistic and I believe that he is getting his rocks off my tearing me down like this. This is his last way of trying to have control and so far, it's working. I just did some research online and found that if you are separated, you can not sign a waiver. You have to file jointly and he is refusing. Sooooo, Im lost.

[Magnolia31 0]

I think you have 2 options if he doesn't collaborate for you I-751

1. file married with an abuse waiver and/or a hardship waiver (for the USC -your kid - which will suffer without her mommy)

2. talk to your husband and get a quick uncontested divorce (see the laws in Texas regarding matrimonial problems) if you can get it in time, you file divorced (self petitioned) and make sure you get all the evidences of a good faith marriage.

I really feel for you (I am in a somewhat similar situation but thank God I don't have any kids with the as****).

Good luck and be strong!

I think the abuse one would maybe be the best. I mean, it is true that I am being abused - emotionally, and there has been physical as well, although the emotional abuse prevails. I did some research earlier and found out that abuse is the only way you can file alone if you are separated. This just really sucks. I dont know how I could prove abuse because I never told the authorities because he threatened to take my baby away if i did.

I did talk to my husband about a divorce but he refuses. He would not even do a legal separation because he knows I will get alimony and child support, which he does not want to pay. He is in the army reserves and as long as he stays married, he will get paid for having dependents. My husband is driven by dollar signs. Unfortunately he is so stingy with it that i only get $500 a month. He has other bank accounts that I have no access to. I dont know what i got myself into.

So is yours controlling too or how is he?

[Magnolia31 0]

I posted this in the removal of conditions forum but was told I should probably post it here.

Anyhow, I have a question regarding how to file for the removal of conditions if you are separated. My husband and i have not been able to get along ever since he returned from Iraq last summer. He has just received orders to get stationed on a short tour to Ft Meade, Maryland. Since it is a short tour, me and my kids will be staying in Texas and I am not sure if this will all end up in divorce. Basically, my husband is controlling and dominating and no longer wants to be with me because he says I "don't listen" to what he tells me to do, etc. Frankly, Im tired of it also because I am walking on eggshells. When I agree with him, he loves me to death. When I disagree, he screams separation and divorce.

My husband has put our house up on the market and we have had offers come in from people who wanna buy it. He plans on selling this house before he leaves in may. Anyhow, so he keeps telling me my clock is ticking and he is basically putting me and my children out of the house with no place to live. I have friends and family in Texas so this is where I plan on going.

Anyhow, on the I-751 Form it looks to me as if the waiver options all apply to a divorce. What should a person like myself do that is separated? I will be filing all by myself.

I have two kids which are both US citizens ... my youngest (11 months old) is my husband's daughter. My worst fear is getting denied and then having to leave here without my children.

So what is the best way to handle filing for removal of conditions? Also, what kind of evidence do I send since I am filing all alone?

What about the affidavit of support? I read that if a husband signed this, then when i file the I-751 i need to update his address also even though we are not together. Well he won't give me a copy of his orders from the military and told me he is not telling me where he will be.

I really think this whole situation is going to ruin my entire life. i dont want to be without my kids.

Find yourself a really good divorce lawyer. From what you wrote, you have a good case for abandonment. Plus, you can probably get a chunk of the money on the sale of the house, and with the divorce, you would be in a better position to sponsor yourself. He threatens you with divorce - take him up on it.

Having the children is a plus on your side, since he is military and prone to deployment. I seriously doubt you would be forced to go home without your children. You can fight that, base on hardship grounds.

Thank you for your reply. So you don't think I would have to leave my kids behind since he is military and prone to being deployed?

Do you think my divorce will be final by the time I have to file? I mean, I have to file my papers in April. I dont think I can be divorced by then.

I'm short of a nervous breakdown.

[Mrs.J06 4]

Magnolia, I think you need to talk to a divorce attorney and understand your rights.

Google them or try Yellow Pages in your area. You're driving yourself crazy over this and need to find out the facts before you break down.

Do you have anybody you can ask about a lawyer, friends, colleagues, anybody that could help you find a good one?

Good luck to you and stay strong!

[milimelo 4,230]

Magnolia,

you may also want to look into talking to his commanding officer as he is receiving benefits (BAH) based on the dependants. There should also be military family support groups - check out military.com forums.

Not providing for their family got a lot of soldiers in trouble and in the end they had to pay up.

Best of luck to you!