At What Age Are Kids Ok Alone at Night?

[doodlebugg 10]

I just got into a HUGE fight at work with a friend. Ex friend for now since she's no longer talking to me.

Anyhoo she was fighting with her sister over the fact that she's going to a tupperware party tonight and leaving her 10 and 13 yr old son and daughter alone until probably around 10pm tonight. Her sister told her she belongs at home with her children. (she's a single mom). She came to me complaining and I said, "well only you know what your kids are capable of handling, but for me, it's too young".

I *could* have said that she has plenty of opportunity to do these things when her ex has the kids, which is a few times/week but I didn't go there.

So...what say you all? What age is ok to leave your kids and say, go out to dinner or a movie or...both! Mine are 11 and 12 and although every so often I'll go to the library around 6pm (once/week) for about 1/2 hour that's about the latest I've ever left them.

[Heracles 417]

I just got into a HUGE fight at work with a friend. Ex friend for now since she's no longer talking to me.

Anyhoo she was fighting with her sister over the fact that she's going to a tupperware party tonight and leaving her 10 and 13 yr old son and daughter alone until probably around 10pm tonight. Her sister told her she belongs at home with her children. (she's a single mom). She came to me complaining and I said, "well only you know what your kids are capable of handling, but for me, it's too young".

I *could* have said that she has plenty of opportunity to do these things when her ex has the kids, which is a few times/week but I didn't go there.

So...what say you all? What age is ok to leave your kids and say, go out to dinner or a movie or...both! Mine are 11 and 12 and although every so often I'll go to the library around 6pm (once/week) for about 1/2 hour that's about the latest I've ever left them.

At night alone, probably 14 but I would explain the rules.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Without looking up the law, I believe you can leave a child alone once they reach the age of 12, but each state may be different. Call your state's Department of Social Services or find them on the internet - they might have a whole section on leaving your children alone.

[Jenn! 918]

Personally, I don't think she is being unreasonable at all.

I was babysitting for infants and toddlers by the time I was 12.

Now, my mother wouldn't even let my almost 12-year old sister stay home by herself, let alone with someone else's baby I would assume.

I guess times are changing.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

At What Age Can You Leave Children Home Alone?

You can check with your state's Department of Social Services to see if your state has a minimum age for leaving children unsupervised. You are likely to find that there is no specific age, although the common recommendation is that children under twelve be provided with appropriate supervision while their parents are away from home. There may also be a suggestion that an older sibling, even if old enough to be left at home alone, is not necessarily an appropriate babysitter for younger siblings.

There is good reason not to set a specific age at which children may be left at home alone. Specifically, no matter what age you pick there will be some children who are not sufficiently mature to look after themselves. It would not be good public policy to effectively grant parents immunity for the consequences of what they know to be poor parenting decisions, merely because a child has reached the age specified in a statute or regulation. Also, the nature and duration of the parents' absence can significantly affect the age at which the child should be left alone. A twelve-year-old may be perfectly comfortable taking care of himself after school until a parent gets home from work, but that does not mean that he's sufficiently mature to stay at home alone while his parents take a two-week tour of Europe.

Issues in Leaving Children Home Alone

Where a parent leaves younger children home alone, the police or child protective services agencies are likely to respond to a tip, and verify that the children have appropriate adult supervision and aren't in any danger. With preteens and teens, the most likely reason for protective services or the police to learn that a child is home alone is an accident or other tragedy. The parent may then have to establish in retrospect why the children were left alone. It is best for parents to make these decisions with caution, to make sure that their children have appropriate maturity to be left alone, and to make sure that they are instructed on how to handle emergencies and have emergency contacts to assist them in case something goes wrong.

It may appear to some that the state should take a firmer stand on leaving children home alone. That it should set minimum ages and presumptions, with the goal of maximizing child safety. However, the effects of any such rules would fall disproportionately on working families, who may have their children spend a period of time alone before or after school, or on poor families who cannot afford child care. It would consume the limited resources of protective services agencies, pursuing cases involving children who really are sufficiently mature to look after themselves for limited periods of time, distracting them from focusing on cases of bona fide child neglect. Also, there's a question of how much government interference our society wishes to tolerate in parenting decisions.

Significance to Child Custody Cases

The proper care and supervision of children, including preteens and teenagers, is a valid subject for child custody litigation. While courts are usually reluctant to put undue weight on a parent's need to use child care, the absence of any supervision is a more serious concern. Thus, when making a custody decision, a court may be inclined to consider a parent's ability and willingness to limit the amount of time the children will be left unsupervised. Parents should consider exploring the possibility of before- and after-school programs, some of which are available directly through the public schools, which may be available at a reasonable cost.

http://www.expertlaw.com/library/family_law/home_alone.html

Edited January 21, 2009 by Mister Fancypants

[jundp 191]

Well, legally in my state the age is 12 to be home alone. It depends greatly on the ages of the children involved and their maturity, the house rules and how they respond to those rules, etc.

I began leaving my son home alone when he was about 12 or 13, but not at night. He also didn't babysit his sister until he was in high school (so 14/15).

[Yoink 7]

by 10 I was home alone often... raised by a single mom

[Peikko 1,575]

25 probably, especially boys - or make that girls. Ok, both. Until they are fully grown up, they are just not safe at home alone

[one...two...tree 2,762]

by 10 I was home alone often... raised by a single mom

We have yet to see how that pans out. j/k

[Peikko 1,575]

Overnight anyway

[doodlebugg 10]

I guess it varies but for me the age still remains around 14, meaning when my oldest is 14 and my youngest is 13 (they're irish twins) then I'll consider going out to eat or to a movie but I'd still be petrified and worried the whole entire time and I don't think we'd have a very good time because of it.

I was the youngest of four kids and the next to youngest is 8 years older than me so I was never really left alone. I think I started babysitting at 15 but I totally sucked at it and got fired.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I guess it varies but for me the age still remains around 14, meaning when my oldest is 14 and my youngest is 13 (they're irish twins) then I'll consider going out to eat or to a movie but I'd still be petrified and worried the whole entire time and I don't think we'd have a very good time because of it.

I was the youngest of four kids and the next to youngest is 8 years older than me so I was never really left alone. I think I started babysitting at 15 but I totally sucked at it and got fired.

I agree with article I posted - it really depends on the child and the circumstances and that decision should be entrusted to the parent.

[HannahP 119]

I was ten, I think? Maybe nine. But I was the second-last of nine kids & by that time, parenting tends to get a bit lax.

[crazyinEgypt 0]

Times change. I used to be at home by myself in the country when I was 10, but would never think of having my children stay at home at the age of 10 now. Another factor is the child. Two kids the same age can have two totally difference maturity levels.

[Jasman0717 9]

I was a latchkey kid at 9