Christmas gift

[Amby 490]

My husband and I are having big issues because of the Christmas gift. Here is what happened..........he got me a wii game. When I saw the present the first thing I said was lets return it. He really got mad and said we are not going to return this. Then I said this present you bought it for you. I have always wanted a laptop but instead you bought this game for you. Then he said the he can't never please me and he always loses. This was in front of all his family about 12 ppl.

This morning when I woke up, he started installing the game. I said you cant play with this because this is my game. He did not let go of it. But I took it anyway. And from my perspective this is the second year when he bought a present for me but actually it was for himself.

Wow, you were such a b1tch to him.

Thanks for saying what everyone else wanted to say. You're such a team player.

[mawilson 2,133]

deny sex when you go to bed

Who are you kidding - you'll end up hurting yourself more than him

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Thanks everyone for all the replies.

The idea of buying something for me at his next birthday is very good but I don't think I am going to do this, just because it is not in my nature.

I have a job and I make ok money so I am going to get a laptop. I have wanted this for a long time, but never got it because I always thought about saving money and thought Christmas was a good situation. But after seeing him spending so much money each months on his hobbies, I decided I am not going to sacrifice anymore.

Last year my brother in law bought me UGG for Christmas and my husband made him return them, so I never saw them, but my husband told me the story. When I asked him why he made him return them, he said that I don't need them. Anyway I am just trying to point out that most of the stuff is bought is this family is for him or his hobbies, which has been fine for all these years. What bothers me is that he is buying all this without consulting with me and I only find out about this from seeing the check book, or credit card bill. I always consult with him if it is over 100 or 200 dollars, but he never consults with me. So the wii game, I see it that it was something we should have talked about this.

Last month I said I wanted a car - a used one. Because one of our cars is 24 years old and is breaking all the time. And he told me that he doesn't want to buy a car because he is afraid I am going to leave him. I told him that me having a car it doesn't mean that I am leaving or me not having the car means that I am staying. I think it is so childish to think that owning a car means you are leaving someone. We have been married 5+ and it looks like he doesn't know me yet. I have been in the us for 4 years and I have worked 3+ and I thought I deserved a nice good care. But I gave in and I let him have his way.

heartbeat

Well, it does sound like there's more going on here than a gift. Control can take several shapes and control of your possessions may be one of them.

He has to face his demons and understand that he cannot control you by controlling the things you own. However, this has to be addressed in a constructive manner, working towards him facing his fears and looking into building a relationship where there is trust between two equals that choose to be a team and choose to be together freely

Saludos,

Caro

[SingleCharles 0]

I too thought it was about a Victoria Secret purchase. If Gabriella bought that for me for Christmas, I would have no problem letting her use it any time she wanted!

Seriously, this echos of my previous marriage. If you can't come to an agreement together about money, please, please, please consider some counseling before it ruins your marriage. It is said that money is the root of all evil - it is true.

Good luck,

Charles

Edited December 26, 2008 by Charles/Gabriella

[mawilson 2,133]

Last month I said I wanted a car - a used one. Because one of our cars is 24 years old and is breaking all the time. And he told me that he doesn't want to buy a car because he is afraid I am going to leave him. I told him that me having a car it doesn't mean that I am leaving or me not having the car means that I am staying. I think it is so childish to think that owning a car means you are leaving someone

I don't get it. You actually need to own a car to leave someone? Can't you do that with a rental?

[Amby 490]

Last month I said I wanted a car - a used one. Because one of our cars is 24 years old and is breaking all the time. And he told me that he doesn't want to buy a car because he is afraid I am going to leave him. I told him that me having a car it doesn't mean that I am leaving or me not having the car means that I am staying. I think it is so childish to think that owning a car means you are leaving someone

I don't get it. You actually need to own a car to leave someone? Can't you do that with a rental?

If she's under 25 she may want to wait cos her rental might fall apart

[jundp 191]

I think you should sit down with your spouse, apologize for not accepting his gift, but ask him if you two can come to an agreement on credit card purchases, especially for gift giving. But I'm wondering if you would've been thinking of the credit card charge had he bought you a computer instead of the Wii?

Definitely sounds like there's more going on here than an unwanted gift...

Good luck.

[amberdima 6]

i want the Wii... I wish i was Wii bowling right now

[nighthawk 0]

clearly, you're not very materialistic

Hey, I bought it myself and saved for it for about 6 months not just by sweeping the credit card.

So?

If you weren't materialistic you'd have saved up the money and given it to the needy

What makes you believe I don't I just bought myself a new car, I'm helping the needy Auto industry

probably a "Brand New" used car.

[nighthawk 0]

could someone preemptively move this thread here. . . . . since its going to end up there anyways.

It does seem there is a little more going on than just being unhappy with a Christmas present..

Yeah, this thread has all the finger prints of Jerry Springer.

[Laura+Tom 2]

My fiancee wants to buy me either a 60's Mustang or a Mercury Zephyr as a project car, I know very well he'll end up working on it himself, but as long as I get to drive it once in a while I don't care.

[Jasman0717 9]

I thought the post was going to be about Breast Augmentation......

Which is easier to install

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

deny sex when you go to bed

Who are you kidding - you'll end up hurting yourself more than him

Lets not forget he just got a Wii

Nothing can beat the Wii or PS3's enticing force, not even sex...

Put it to the test if you wish

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Thanks everyone for all the replies.

The idea of buying something for me at his next birthday is very good but I don't think I am going to do this, just because it is not in my nature.

I have a job and I make ok money so I am going to get a laptop. I have wanted this for a long time, but never got it because I always thought about saving money and thought Christmas was a good situation. But after seeing him spending so much money each months on his hobbies, I decided I am not going to sacrifice anymore.

Last year my brother in law bought me UGG for Christmas and my husband made him return them, so I never saw them, but my husband told me the story. When I asked him why he made him return them, he said that I don't need them. Anyway I am just trying to point out that most of the stuff is bought is this family is for him or his hobbies, which has been fine for all these years. What bothers me is that he is buying all this without consulting with me and I only find out about this from seeing the check book, or credit card bill. I always consult with him if it is over 100 or 200 dollars, but he never consults with me. So the wii game, I see it that it was something we should have talked about this.

Last month I said I wanted a car - a used one. Because one of our cars is 24 years old and is breaking all the time. And he told me that he doesn't want to buy a car because he is afraid I am going to leave him. I told him that me having a car it doesn't mean that I am leaving or me not having the car means that I am staying. I think it is so childish to think that owning a car means you are leaving someone. We have been married 5+ and it looks like he doesn't know me yet. I have been in the us for 4 years and I have worked 3+ and I thought I deserved a nice good care. But I gave in and I let him have his way.

heartbeat

Well, it does sound like there's more going on here than a gift. Control can take several shapes and control of your possessions may be one of them.

He has to face his demons and understand that he cannot control you by controlling the things you own. However, this has to be addressed in a constructive manner, working towards him facing his fears and looking into building a relationship where there is trust between two equals that choose to be a team and choose to be together freely

Saludos,

Caro

You mean in a mature kind of way right? like 2 adults, not like two 5-year olds