The best way to do this?

[mermefer 0]

Hello, I've searching so long for a forum such as this, and FINALLY I found it.

I met my GF(soon to be fiancee) online. We have been together for about a year and a half now, and yes we have met twice. I am a US citizen and she's from Dubai, UAE. We really want to live together...however her parents would highly disapprove of something like this...because I'm not of their religion. The only option we see is her running away from home. Our biggest problem is how she would get here....currently all she has is a visitors visa, her family is planning on visiting the US this upcoming summer for about a month. We want to do everything as legal as possible...we were thinking of having her run away while she was on her trip...but I don't see any way of her becoming legal if she does that, is there any way? If we were engaged and I applied for a fiance visa she would have to wait until that got approved before legally moving here and marrying me, correct? We really are at a loss as to what to do...another problem is that the legal age in UAE is 21, and she's 19..almost 20, we don't know if she would need her parents authorization to apply for a visa like that.

Also about how much would I have to be earning in order to prove that I can support her when she moves here? It's just so confusing trying to figure out how to do all of this without any of her family figuring out...we really hate to do it this way but we don't see any other options. What would you all suggest? that we just wait until she is 21 and figure it out then? or is there any other way we can do this? Our ultimate goal is for her to come here...and gain permanent residency, so she can work, etc..

Edited December 6, 2008 by mermefer

[FCH 1]

Hello, I've searching so long for a forum such as this, and FINALLY I found it.

I met my GF(soon to be fiancee) online. We have been together for about a year and a half now, and yes we have met twice. I am a US citizen and she's from Dubai, UAE. We really want to live together...however her parents would highly disapprove of something like this...because I'm not of their religion. The only option we see is her running away from home. Our biggest problem is how she would get here....currently all she has is a visitors visa, her family is planning on visiting the US this upcoming summer for about a month. We want to do everything as legal as possible...we were thinking of having her run away while she was on her trip...but I don't see any way of her becoming legal if she does that, is there any way? If we were engaged and I applied for a fiance visa she would have to wait until that got approved before legally moving here and marrying me, correct? We really are at a loss as to what to do...another problem is that the legal age in UAE is 21, and she's 19..almost 20, we don't know if she would need her parents authorization to apply for a visa like that.

Also about how much would I have to be earning in order to prove that I can support her when she moves here? It's just so confusing trying to figure out how to do all of this without any of her family figuring out...we really hate to do it this way but we don't see any other options. What would you all suggest? that we just wait until she is 21 and figure it out then? or is there any other way we can do this? Our ultimate goal is for her to come here...and gain permanent residency, so she can work, etc..

waiting for 21 would be a good idea. she would be legally able to decide on things.

good luck!

Edited December 6, 2008 by PrettyFlower

[Otto 83]

Hello, I've searching so long for a forum such as this, and FINALLY I found it.

I met my GF(soon to be fiancee) online. We have been together for about a year and a half now, and yes we have met twice. I am a US citizen and she's from Dubai, UAE. We really want to live together...however her parents would highly disapprove of something like this...because I'm not of their religion. The only option we see is her running away from home. Our biggest problem is how she would get here....currently all she has is a visitors visa, her family is planning on visiting the US this upcoming summer for about a month. We want to do everything as legal as possible...we were thinking of having her run away while she was on her trip...but I don't see any way of her becoming legal if she does that, is there any way? If we were engaged and I applied for a fiance visa she would have to wait until that got approved before legally moving here and marrying me, correct? We really are at a loss as to what to do...another problem is that the legal age in UAE is 21, and she's 19..almost 20, we don't know if she would need her parents authorization to apply for a visa like that. For a Fiance Visa - one of the main criteria is that you are both free to marry.

Also about how much would I have to be earning in order to prove that I can support her when she moves here? Two people - you and her - the minimum would be $17,500 (unless you live in Alaska or Hawaii) It's just so confusing trying to figure out how to do all of this without any of her family figuring out...we really hate to do it this way but we don't see any other options. What would you all suggest? that we just wait until she is 21 and figure it out then? or is there any other way we can do this? Our ultimate goal is for her to come here...and gain permanent residency, so she can work, etc..

[tallcoolone 102]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

[mermefer 0]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

Yeah I know...also she mentions that her religion is directly reflected in her government....if it's true that both sides have to be able to marry freely, I seriously hope that doesn't get in our way.

I took the USA's separation of church and state for granted....

[pushbrk 13,515]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

Yeah I know...also she mentions that her religion is directly reflected in her government....if it's true that both sides have to be able to marry freely, I seriously hope that doesn't get in our way.

I took the USA's separation of church and state for granted....

To be clear, for a fiance visa both sides must be free to marry in the jurisdiction where the marriage is to take place. So, for that one small point, the laws of UAE do not apply. There may well be procedures that include parental consent (similar to the Philippines) within UAE. You need UAE specific information on that.

Running away at some point may be the only way to get married, if her parents would never approve. It could also be a recipe for long term unhappiness. Please be careful with this young woman's heart. I expect her family is very important to her.

[mermefer 0]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

Yeah I know...also she mentions that her religion is directly reflected in her government....if it's true that both sides have to be able to marry freely, I seriously hope that doesn't get in our way.

I took the USA's separation of church and state for granted....

To be clear, for a fiance visa both sides must be free to marry in the jurisdiction where the marriage is to take place. So, for that one small point, the laws of UAE do not apply. There may well be procedures that include parental consent (similar to the Philippines) within UAE. You need UAE specific information on that.

Running away at some point may be the only way to get married, if her parents would never approve. It could also be a recipe for long term unhappiness. Please be careful with this young woman's heart. I expect her family is very important to her.

I've asked her over and over about that....I don't want her to feel as if she's being forced to do this, and I definitely don't want to tear her apart from her family. She's assured me that if she would run away it would be of her own decision, so I respect and trust that she'll make the right one, and I'll love her regardless.

This is seeming more and more impossible to do this.. If she was here on say, a student visa, how would we go about this situation then? Is it possible to marry on a student visa and then have her become legal through that?

Edited December 6, 2008 by mermefer

[Brad and Vika 129]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

Yeah I know...also she mentions that her religion is directly reflected in her government....if it's true that both sides have to be able to marry freely, I seriously hope that doesn't get in our way.

I took the USA's separation of church and state for granted....

To be clear, for a fiance visa both sides must be free to marry in the jurisdiction where the marriage is to take place. So, for that one small point, the laws of UAE do not apply. There may well be procedures that include parental consent (similar to the Philippines) within UAE. You need UAE specific information on that.

Running away at some point may be the only way to get married, if her parents would never approve. It could also be a recipe for long term unhappiness. Please be careful with this young woman's heart. I expect her family is very important to her.

I've asked her over and over about that....I don't want her to feel as if she's being forced to do this, and I definitely don't want to tear her apart from her family. She's assured me that if she would run away it would be of her own decision, so I respect and trust that she'll make the right one, and I'll love her regardless.

This is seeming more and more impossible to do this.. If she was here on say, a student visa, how would we go about this situation then? Is it possible to marry on a student visa and then have her become legal through that?

When a foreign student marries here, I think he or she can usually stay here through the chang of status process. In fact, until the status is changed it may be best to stay to avoid re-entry problems. If you are married while she is here, I do not think you need another kind of visa. I will defer to others here with more experience with this situation though - and wish you luck.

[pushbrk 13,515]

Check the family codes for UAE for marriage consent or marriage authorization.

Parent that disaprove of the marriage is not a good thing.

Yeah I know...also she mentions that her religion is directly reflected in her government....if it's true that both sides have to be able to marry freely, I seriously hope that doesn't get in our way.

I took the USA's separation of church and state for granted....

To be clear, for a fiance visa both sides must be free to marry in the jurisdiction where the marriage is to take place. So, for that one small point, the laws of UAE do not apply. There may well be procedures that include parental consent (similar to the Philippines) within UAE. You need UAE specific information on that.

Running away at some point may be the only way to get married, if her parents would never approve. It could also be a recipe for long term unhappiness. Please be careful with this young woman's heart. I expect her family is very important to her.

I've asked her over and over about that....I don't want her to feel as if she's being forced to do this, and I definitely don't want to tear her apart from her family. She's assured me that if she would run away it would be of her own decision, so I respect and trust that she'll make the right one, and I'll love her regardless.

This is seeming more and more impossible to do this.. If she was here on say, a student visa, how would we go about this situation then? Is it possible to marry on a student visa and then have her become legal through that?

When a foreign student marries here, I think he or she can usually stay here through the chang of status process. In fact, until the status is changed it may be best to stay to avoid re-entry problems. If you are married while she is here, I do not think you need another kind of visa. I will defer to others here with more experience with this situation though - and wish you luck.

If she's here on a legitimate student visa when you marry, she can stay and adjust status, provided it's not one of the J visas with a requirement to go home for two years. By legitimate, I mean she actually enrolls and attends college.

[Brit Abroad 166]

In all honesty, my advice would be to arrange to meet up with her family while they are in the States. Express your feelings about their daughter to her parents and have her affirm her feelings for you and both state your desire to marry in the future. While you are not of her religion, her parents obviously love her and want her to be happy. It's natural that they would have misgivings about a foreigner who lives in a different culture, much less a different religion. Be mature about it, show them that you are approaching this like honest, open adults - rather than trying to creep off in the night and do something you evidently know they won't approve of.

Your girlfriend is probably much closer to her family than you may believe, despite what she says. If you encourage her to run away you're storing up problems for the future - either between her and her family OR between you and her family. Is a year long engagement (official or unofficial) until she's 21 and legally free to marry you without consent (worst case scenario her parents refuse to allow it while she's a minor) such a hardship? The fact that her parents haven't married her off before she's 20 should show you that her parents have her best interests at heart.

Give her parents time to get to know you, to understand that you aren't a bad person because you are "different" to them culturally. After all, these people are potentially going to be your in-laws for the rest of their lives. Starting off a lifetime relationship with a new wife who is alienated from her family and upset because "home" has changed in more ways than distance, means you may face repercussions with an unhappy wife who can't settle to life in a new country because she romanticises her homeland or mourns the loss of her familial relationships.

At the end of the day, only you and your girlfriend know how things are between you and how much the bonds she has with family matter to her. If you end up married, hopefully it'll be for life. What's one year compared to that?

[sara..... 371]

oh boy.......if as i suspect her and her family are muslim u will never get permission to marry their daughter if ur not muslim.......

running away and getting married will have long term effects for her..........im no going to try to talk u out of marraige to her but both of u really need to set down with more than yes i can do this..........this will be a life time change for her not something that is going to blow over after ur married and her family will accept it.....what ever u two decide to do my prayers are with u and i hope it all turns out in the best way for both of u.....

sara