How do you keep romance?

[Kotenochek 0]

I have a question to All of You!

I am sure it is hard for everyone to keep relationship on high at all times...Well lets face it we all come from different backgrounds,different cultures...and plus this economy stress...

So my question is:How do You feel right now about your relationships and how do You keep Your romance high?

[Smallz 0]

we have date nights once a month

make dinner together from time to time or

make breakfast for each other sometimes too

[Jasman0717 8]

We have 'date' night every night

[Smallz 0]

i guess we should think about it too, i like date nites

but in this economy it's a little harder than usual, cause we like to go out for date nites.... u know... movies, drinks, nice restaurant

[slim 1,514]

I like to do the "helicopter." Oh, I almost forgot, romance. OK, I'll light a candel and then do the helicopter.

[mox 298]

I like to do the "helicopter." Oh, I almost forgot, romance. OK, I'll light a candel and then do the helicopter.

This is the response I was holding my breath for.

[Ilya R. 0]

Laugh alot together!

[Brad and Vika 129]

I like to do the "helicopter." Oh, I almost forgot, romance. OK, I'll light a candel and then do the helicopter.

I remember you saying something about turning up the thermostat and making tea No mention of helicopter at all, is this an addition to the Slim Manual for Keeping Romance in a Relationship? Enquiring minds want to know.

[mox 298]

I remember you saying something about turning up the thermostat and making tea No mention of helicopter at all, is this an addition to the Slim Manual for Keeping Romance in a Relationship? Enquiring minds want to know.

Search the RU forum for "helicopter."

[Poacher 0]

I am still in Kharkov, but doggy style. Beg for 10 minutes, roll over, go to sleep. We are married. Marriage knows no borders.

[Ilya R. 0]

I am still in Kharkov, but doggy style. Beg for 10 minutes, roll over, go to sleep. We are married. Marriage knows no borders.

Hmmm

[RadzNSteve 0]

right now our date night consist of talking for 3 to 4 hours via internet every other night, so i guess when she gets here we will log onto different computers and chat to keep up our date night. Gawd hope she dont read this.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I am still in Kharkov, but doggy style. Beg for 10 minutes, roll over, go to sleep. We are married. Marriage knows no borders.

Kirk, official congrats on the successful completion of your interview . Happy that your wife is feeling better too. When will you arrive back stateside?

[slim 1,514]

right now our date night consist of talking for 3 to 4 hours via internet every other night, so i guess when she gets here we will log onto different computers and chat to keep up our date night.

In all seriousness, we went through the stage where it was hard for us to be together. We were so used to getting our time in and then going on with our lives that once we actually had to spend time together it was too much for both of us. My wife and I are both very independent and although we like to have each other around, I think we'd both prefer "scheduled" time together and then semi-private lives the rest of the time.

Most of the "romantic times" we have are somewhat scheduled. "I'm off on Wednesday night. You too? Cool. How about we go to a nice dinner then come home, turn the heat up, make some tea, and then I'll show you the helicopter?" See! The helicopter is romantic... when there's tea!

[KGSodie 0]

Although not to the same extreme as Slim, I can identify with what he's saying (The 'in all seriousness' part - not the bit about helicopters!).

It is a big adjustment, going from being single to being half of a new whole, but I think this applies to all new couples and not just mixed-nationality ones. Keeping the romance alive is an important part of any relationship, and just as all relationships are different, what works to keep the romance alive varies with each couple. Natasha and I seize every opportunity to do things together, just us two. It's easier to 'get away' from my two because they're older and have distinct lives of their own, but it often causes difficulty with Vika (who is only 11 and very attached to her mama). We compensate by making sure Vika has lots of activities for herself (gymnastics, cheerleading, visiting her cousin and friends) and this allows Natasha and I 'us' time too. Sometimes we'll catch a movie or a restaurant, but just as often we simply enjoy being together - window shopping at the mall for example, and stopping for Natasha's now-favorite shakes from DQ.

To me, the most important thing is to 'do' for the other person (Notice the all-important 'for' in this sentence - try reading the sentence WITHOUT this word :-). Whatever it is the other enjoys - a surprise gift, a relaxing massage, an unexpected encounter - do this often. It's like I tell my kids - the most important thing you can ever learn is the golden rule because, well, it makes other people feel good. If I do for Natasha the things that she likes, regardless of the context, and she does the same for me, then every night feels like a date night and every day together is a gift we give to each other.

Relationships tend to go wrong when it's all one-way. If one person expects or demands that the other always do as they wish, what they want, then resentment builds up over time and (usually) eventually bubbles over. It's a fine line, though. If you 'do' for the other person because you expect them to 'do' for you, too, then your acts are conditional, and no one likes fine print or ultimatums. In a 'perfect' relationship, then, each supports the other, does for the other, and generally tries to make life as good as possible for the other, because that is what each person wants to do. Reality is often far from perfect, however, so we continually make compromises and adjustments. It's not always easy to do, and sometimes it is in fact downright work. But always worthwhile.

I'll get off my soapbox now - didn't mean to preach there, Kotenochek!