Both want to finish school

[CanGal 1]

Hello Everyone. I have my green card interview at the end of this month and after that I am hoping to look and get back into school (college) very soon. I have 2 yrs worth of university from back home but transfering over to the states I have only about one year worth of credit. My hubby has a 2 yr associates degree and is looking to go back as well. He has enough credits to finish and actual 4 year degree within a year and then he wants to move on to his masters in business. I am just wondering how we should go about this. He works 7 days a week and I barely see him now I am just scared what it will be like if we go back to school FULL time. We got in a small arguement today about it because I felt like he made the decision to go back full time without dicussing it with me. I have no problem with him wanting to finish school for I do as well. My worry is that if we both go to school full time, and work full time where our actual marriage will fall into all that and if we might even have one after. I have had so many people tell me they've tried it that way and it doesn't work. Is it wrong of me to be trying to put our relationship on priority? I did mention for us to go back part time, he just said FINE as if he had no other choice. I stated i just felt like i had no part in the decision and that I do have a right to be concerned about us. Yes I want us both to finish, but I don't want us to be put to the side while we focus on that as well. Someone please help, suggestions and experiences would be of great help. Thanks so much

CanGal

[Ban Hammer 12,871]

Hello Everyone. I have my green card interview at the end of this month and after that I am hoping to look and get back into school (college) very soon. I have 2 yrs worth of university from back home but transfering over to the states I have only about one year worth of credit. My hubby has a 2 yr associates degree and is looking to go back as well. He has enough credits to finish and actual 4 year degree within a year and then he wants to move on to his masters in business. I am just wondering how we should go about this. He works 7 days a week and I barely see him now I am just scared what it will be like if we go back to school FULL time. We got in a small arguement today about it because I felt like he made the decision to go back full time without dicussing it with me. I have no problem with him wanting to finish school for I do as well. My worry is that if we both go to school full time, and work full time where our actual marriage will fall into all that and if we might even have one after. I have had so many people tell me they've tried it that way and it doesn't work. Is it wrong of me to be trying to put our relationship on priority? I did mention for us to go back part time, he just said FINE as if he had no other choice. I stated i just felt like i had no part in the decision and that I do have a right to be concerned about us. Yes I want us both to finish, but I don't want us to be put to the side while we focus on that as well. Someone please help, suggestions and experiences would be of great help. Thanks so much

CanGal

how about online courses?

[CanGal 1]

I have thought about doing that, I've looked into doing that. Shonjaved has sent me information on that. But I've heard thats not easy, and like I said the arguement is really about going back it's the full time to part time thing. I understand he just wants to get it over with and as do I but we aren't single anymore. It would be easier if you didn't have much else on your plate but that. But now it's everything plus when your both going back it just makes things a little more difficult.

[gimygirl 0]

alicia ...

you've already answered your own question .... it all depends where your priorities lie ...

[babybunny 2]

I have thought about doing that, I've looked into doing that. Shonjaved has sent me information on that. But I've heard thats not easy, and like I said the arguement is really about going back it's the full time to part time thing. I understand he just wants to get it over with and as do I but we aren't single anymore. It would be easier if you didn't have much else on your plate but that. But now it's everything plus when your both going back it just makes things a little more difficult.

online is not easy- nor is attending class. if you are committed to your studies. its an easy fix. this should not cause a marital problem or issue. I would think it would be fun studying with your mate. how romantic. student aide is avalible. online classes offer flexiblity but, requires some commitment. I find workign my demanding job- my classes are at my demand. I do have dead lines but, I know what is Due and When.

[Veiled Princess 1]

It's up to the two of you how you want to handle it. I will advise from my own personal experience that it may be worth it to go ahead and both of you finish full time now because once you have children even part time is tough. Good luck to you!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Gimy is right. It comes down to priorities.

FWIW, there are plenty of couples in my family (ages ranging from the upper 20s to the 60s) who have, at some point, either both gone through college together or one of them went to college in another state and they only saw each other on weekends. It can be done, you just have to be strong and keep in mind the long-term benefits to both of you (and by extension, to your marriage) of a better education and the higher earning power it brings with it.

[luvaLimey 0]

Yeah, well it doesn't get any easier to do once you add kids into the mix. You should both do it now, and full-time before you start having kids together. Do whatever you have to do to make ends meet, do the "startving student" thing if you have to, take out student loans, apply for grants, cut back working hours to part-time, but get it done now while you are both still young and have no more responsibility than just for yourselves.

College student who work and go to school still find time for romance, you can too.

[CanGal 1]

you all are right, thanks ... i guess it does mean where do our priorities lie, with one another and all that stuff. I guess if we sit down and maybe make a plan what we gonna do and try and work a schedule out and just get it done. I'm just scared of conflicting schedules, we already conflict lol and i don't have much of a schedule :-p haha

lol whats the "starving student thing?" if we both went down to part time we wouldnt' be able to pay our bills. He working full time and we still almost pay check to pay check. Thing with school it's not the cost that matters, we have all that under control, plus with his work if applicable he can get tuition reimbursment.

[pj1959us 0]

Is this a change from what you had discussed before you married? If you portray to him that you are the only one that feels the relationship is important, he will only get defensive and resent you, and the arguments will grow more heated.

I'm sure your marriage is important to him as well, and its importance may be the impetus of his decision. Try to find out his reasoning for his decision...meanwhile, explain to him that you feel left out if you're not allowed to voice your opinion.

He may be thinking long-term and wanting to get his schooling done as soon as possible so that he can pursue the career he wants to, and be better off financially. If he continues part-time, how long will it take? If full-time, how long? Do you want to go to school full-time, or remain part-time? Which one of you are closer to completion? Perhaps he just feels the need to get the education behind one of you so that your lives can move on at a quicker pace than both remaining part-time. If you can sit down together and rationalize the overall picture, hopefully you can resolve any differences of opinion and come to a mutual agreement.

Personally, I would rather be understanding about the situation and get it done and over with, and have less time together temporarily rather than have education hanging over our heads over a longer period of time. If you both are understanding with each other, then your marriage is strong enough to endure this.

Is it possible for either of you to work part-time instead of full-time, to help in spending more time together?

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

... plus with his work if applicable he can get tuition reimbursment.

A lot of employers are pulling that benefit off the table every year. If he has that available to him, I suggest he take advantage of it ASAP.

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Hello Everyone. I have my green card interview at the end of this month and after that I am hoping to look and get back into school (college) very soon. I have 2 yrs worth of university from back home but transfering over to the states I have only about one year worth of credit. My hubby has a 2 yr associates degree and is looking to go back as well. He has enough credits to finish and actual 4 year degree within a year and then he wants to move on to his masters in business. I am just wondering how we should go about this. He works 7 days a week and I barely see him now I am just scared what it will be like if we go back to school FULL time. We got in a small arguement today about it because I felt like he made the decision to go back full time without dicussing it with me. I have no problem with him wanting to finish school for I do as well. My worry is that if we both go to school full time, and work full time where our actual marriage will fall into all that and if we might even have one after. I have had so many people tell me they've tried it that way and it doesn't work. Is it wrong of me to be trying to put our relationship on priority? I did mention for us to go back part time, he just said FINE as if he had no other choice. I stated i just felt like i had no part in the decision and that I do have a right to be concerned about us. Yes I want us both to finish, but I don't want us to be put to the side while we focus on that as well. Someone please help, suggestions and experiences would be of great help. Thanks so much

CanGal

how about online courses?

yup. Schools like Thomas Edison will give you credit for the full 2 years too (usually).

http://www.tesc.edu/

[CanGal 1]

does anyone know of any online degree programs that are legit besides what may be offered at Western International University and the University of Phoneix?

[luvaLimey 0]

If they are regionally accredited, they are legit.

[tmma 467]

does anyone know of any online degree programs that are legit besides what may be offered at Western International University and the University of Phoneix?

Mississippi State University ( core curriculum and selected majors-check it out:)) , or Kennedy Western ( mainly engineering majors).

Both are accredited. Just 2 off the top of my head...try a Google search

edit-University of Washington too

Edited June 4, 2006 by tmma