Never thought I would post here!

[Jamaica to CT 0]

Sarah...I'm so sorry.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I won't even bother

[Eagleeye 1]

Its not racist, goes back to know the age , culture and yada bs...dont get caught up in fantasy world...jeez take a look ...Jomo girl doing well . Im sure she researched and found suitable Jamacan mate.. Soo buzz off b4 assuming my intentions girly!!

loaded with tons of ignorance you are!

[sereia 0]

OP:

Before you run and call USCIS I would put together a package of all the proof of fraud you have (if any). Send it to them in cluding a letter from you, letters from friends and family, chats, ANY proof you have.

Take him off any joint financials. Even possibly put up a fraud alert on your credit report. He could have your SS# and you never know what he could be up to.

I would make him take over the lease or get out. I wouldn't trust him to pay the rent. Come on, girl!

I know its hard, and you still love him, but you need to cover yourself.

*hugs*

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

nyc don't even waste your breath (I'm not)...not worth it.

Sarah, hang in there. It took me a long time, but KNOW YOURSELF WORTH babygirl...know your SELFWORTH!

Read my signature line and find stregth in it.

One Love,

to all the haters, go find FLAT BRIDGE

[shrewdgal 0]

I will just keep this short and sweet!

I was used for a green card. I am thouroughly convinced of this. We have argued numerous times and it all boils down to this:

1) I am not a normal woman because I want a husband who loves me, appreciates me, makes love to me, spends time with me etc...

2) I asked if I should find someone else to be those things for me and the answer was to do whatever I want...

3) Today when I mentioned I am no longer comfortable living here I was told to get the f*** out, he doesn't care about me...

So, I am done. When he couldn't work, I supported him. He got a job and car and credit cards, I became nothing.

Remindes me of Pam and her duped posts.

What the hell do I do now and how?

I have been in the same boat as you and guess what I call my self a VOF, victim of fraud. I would just try to notify USCIS, and try to move on, but guess what, your ex-will renew the card in 2 years and show good fAITH. THE IMMIFRATION SYSTE SUCKS. but relaz it aint the end of world,consult attorney, most likely file for divorce and move on.

I have been there.

Good Luck

VOF

No kidding brother was she Muslimah. wow

wow sorry lady, but when he show you jamaica and all the dances and religion and voodoo #######, then bring him to states, they gonna hang out with the homies, esp if young and uneducated

make better choice in husband life companion

excuse me??? who is uneducated now?

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

I will just keep this short and sweet!

I was used for a green card. I am thouroughly convinced of this. We have argued numerous times and it all boils down to this:

1) I am not a normal woman because I want a husband who loves me, appreciates me, makes love to me, spends time with me etc...

2) I asked if I should find someone else to be those things for me and the answer was to do whatever I want...

3) Today when I mentioned I am no longer comfortable living here I was told to get the f*** out, he doesn't care about me...

So, I am done. When he couldn't work, I supported him. He got a job and car and credit cards, I became nothing.

Remindes me of Pam and her duped posts.

What the hell do I do now and how?

I am sorry to hear this.

However, I for one, never saw your marriage as 'real'.

Had not a shadow of a doubt he was only after his green card.

Was just a question of when and not if.

I am sure if you look back, there will be million other red flags you chose to ignore.

I remember saying something along the lines of you being careful to you a year or so ago and being jumped on like public enemy number one.

Your husband while to my knowledge never asked you for money directly, had a lot of things happen so you could send him money, ie his 'toothache'. Red flag number one.

He married another woman abroad (in my opinion) for the same reason. Ask yourself how comes he manages to make a habit of getting with foreign women. Red flag number two.

I would advise everyone to watch the red flags.

[sus 70]

wow sorry lady, but when he show you jamaica and all the dances and religion and voodoo #######, then bring him to states, they gonna hang out with the homies, esp if young and uneducated

make better choice in husband life companion

Pure ignorance - You are marrying someone from Pakistan - how do you feel when people call him a terrorist, say that he controls you, he has multiple wives - whatever ignorant and racist stereotypes are associated with the country?

Obviously from your post you know NOTHING about the culture and history of Jamaica - While some say ignorance is bliss - before you decide to post and show your ignorance to the world, you might want to educate yourself.

While everyone can have their own opinion based on what they have seen / read - only the two people themselves in the relationship know what the truth is = And at a time like this, people are seeking compassion and support, not to get beaten up for the choices that they have made. This site is a very valuable resource = and if people whose relationships don't make it receive responses like this when they come back to share their tragedy or the end of the journey, less people will share - For someone considering entering into an LDR, reading the good, the bad, and the ugly helps a person to make an informed decision.

How about showing some compassion and support, and not judgment? Opinions are like A**holes, everyone has one = Does it help to point the finger and say I told you so?

Sarah, I am so sorry you are going through this -

[nycgirl 13]

I really think that someone should start a "RED FLAG" thread. Not long personal stories, just lists of things to watch out for. Can be from personal experience, or something that you've heard. It could help SO many people avoid a similar situation. I'm not talking about Jamaican Men, it could be red flags from all over the world. I am sure the red flags have similarity regardless of region.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

Would assume I'm included.

I think YES, by saying to someone they chose to avoid obvious red flags and BTW, here are these red flags, it may help them realise that they need to take off the rose tinted glasses and take an objective look at future relationships.

And perhaps next time not to ATTACK people who are trying to look out for them.

Also, for people in relationships to take note that because someone points out possible red flags that does not automatically make them a hater.

Again, when people come here saying 'I've been used' ALL the sides of the story need to be told, you may be a victim here, but YOU aided and abetted him by refusing to see anything but the fairytale.

This does not excuse anyone's actions, but it is meant to highlight that women need not to heedlessly run into marriages, but PROTECT themselves by OPENING their EYES and SEEING what's in front of them.

wow sorry lady, but when he show you jamaica and all the dances and religion and voodoo #######, then bring him to states, they gonna hang out with the homies, esp if young and uneducated

make better choice in husband life companion

Pure ignorance - You are marrying someone from Pakistan - how do you feel when people call him a terrorist, say that he controls you, he has multiple wives - whatever ignorant and racist stereotypes are associated with the country?

Obviously from your post you know NOTHING about the culture and history of Jamaica - While some say ignorance is bliss - before you decide to post and show your ignorance to the world, you might want to educate yourself.

While everyone can have their own opinion based on what they have seen / read - only the two people themselves in the relationship know what the truth is = And at a time like this, people are seeking compassion and support, not to get beaten up for the choices that they have made. This site is a very valuable resource = and if people whose relationships don't make it receive responses like this when they come back to share their tragedy or the end of the journey, less people will share - For someone considering entering into an LDR, reading the good, the bad, and the ugly helps a person to make an informed decision.

How about showing some compassion and support, and not judgment? Opinions are like A**holes, everyone has one = Does it help to point the finger and say I told you so?

Sarah, I am so sorry you are going through this -

[nycgirl 13]

I think that what sus is saying is that: yes, you were probably right. I'm sure Sarah now knows this. But now is not the time for "I told you so's"

I support anyone that is trying to protect Women from getting hurt. This Visa Journey is tricky and emotional stuff. Continue to look out for others, but no need to tell someone that their marriage (in your eyes) was never real. Unneccesary.

Edited November 22, 2008 by nycgirl

[nycgirl 13]

Its not racist, goes back to know the age , culture and yada bs...dont get caught up in fantasy world...jeez take a look ...Jomo girl doing well . Im sure she researched and found suitable Jamacan mate.. Soo buzz off b4 assuming my intentions girly!!

Hey JG, how much research did you do on Andre??? Did you find him through a private investigator?? heheheh

[sus 70]

I think that what sus is saying is that: yes, you were probably right. I'm sure Sarah now knows this. But now is not the time for "I told you so's"

I support anyone that is trying to protect Women from getting hurt. This Visa Journey is tricky and emotional stuff. Continue to look out for others, but no need to tell someone that their marriage (in your eyes) was never real. Unneccesary.

You hit the nail on the head, NYCGirl -

JAEng, most of my post was directed to the post that I quoted - But I feel the same as NYCGirl - continue to point out the red flags - but it isn't helpful to sit back and watch them happen then say I knew it all along - I wasn't targeting specifically what you said - I wasn't on the board when that happened, I don't know if you commented back then or not.

Its not racist, goes back to know the age , culture and yada bs...dont get caught up in fantasy world...jeez take a look ...Jomo girl doing well . Im sure she researched and found suitable Jamacan mate.. Soo buzz off b4 assuming my intentions girly!!

Hey JG, how much research did you do on Andre??? Did you find him through a private investigator?? heheheh

NYCgirl, you need to read the thread = Don't you know we have the Yardie detective agency now? :rofl: JG is a founding member

[nycgirl 13]

Doen't surprise me ONE bit!!! Inspector JG, at your service!!!!

[jawi876 2]

I really don't see the point of a "red flags" post, namely each relationship is different as the two people involved in that relationship. Also, if we posted a list longer than all the yardie threads listed out from end to end, there would be women that refuse to believe they have those red flags (Oh...that's not us...yeah he did that...but that doesn't mean....) It is really pointless in the end because when you are smack dab in the middle of new love...you are just not trying to hear the naysayers or warnings of doom. Think about it.

Not that JaEnglish needs any defending...I was there when she advised FutureMrs to slow down and get to know him better, she pointed out "red flags" that maybe should be considered and weighed out before she proceeded headfirst and blinded by "love". The exchange wasn't the best one in the history of VJ.

I also think that when these LDR marriages/relationships do not work, we are quick to jump on the bandwagon of "I was duped...I was used for a greencard." Why couldn't it be that you both moved too quickly, realized that you didn't know each other and your paths were not destined to continue down the same highway. If you married someone from the same country/state just as quickly would that be a "greencard marriage" or "I was duped" post too? I'm not saying one way or the other about Sarah's marriage...I'm just wondering aloud.

I'm still of the mindset that time is not your enemy in these relationships...it will only help. No one involved in a LDR or any relationship for that matter has a 100% guarantee or foolproof way to know if their relationship will be one that defies the odds.