US Citizen Married then Divorced in China now in a bind

[nyhazmat 2]

Man up, my wife knew about both, yes both of my previous marriages and we are fine. Are you willing to risk this relationship? If you lie that is what you are doing...Take a minute and think about it....OK, times up.

[mintos 0]

thanks for all the replies. I'm going to do the right thing and own up. It's the best course.

[sj5 4]

It's your past. I think, your fiancee won't make big deal about your previous marriage.

You're not cheating on your fiancee but you didn't tell her about your ex-wife.

Don't lies on your forms.

[Old Dominion 26]

It all boils down to choice and risk. You can risk the disappointment of your fiancee when she finds out that you omitted your previous marriage from your life history or risk the relationship ending because of your visa petition being denied for deception.

You got involved in a relationship with a woman from a culture that frowns upon divorce. You were selfish in decision to withhold the information and now you are suggesting starting your married lives in a lie? The USCIS ask questions in order to test how bona fide a marriage is. You'd better believe that they'd expect your future wife to know you were married.

First step seems to be for you to be fully honest with your intended, before you do anything else. Yes, the Chinese culture is very strict about these things, but even hiding this information from a fiancee in the U.S. is inappropriate and unethical. These are my reactions to what you have written. And finally, when all is said and done, the USCIS won't even care about your divorce so long as it was legal and you have the papers to prove it. But they WILL care if you try to keep it a secret, and it can cost you a lot if they prosecute. At the end of the day, your previous marriage and divorce will come up in the interview process and your intended might as well know up front what it was all about. She'll be asked.

[Old Dominion 26]

Hi All,

I'm trying to start the I-129F form for my love in China but got stuck on question 6, Martial Status. I was married for a very brief period in China in May 2007 then divorced in Sept 2007. I found the girl I met and her parents where trying to con me. Thier attitude towards me changed greatly after I signed the marriage papers. This was all done in China, and I never filed any kind of papers here in the US.

Now I fell in love again, and this time made sure it's all real. However, I never told the woman I was married before and am pretty certain she will not take well to the news. What can I do? Can I still file as single as my status was never changed in the US? Can the marriage be treated as it never happened because I felt I was conned into it?

If I filed as divorced I think she'll be notifed and have to bring the copies of my previous marriage and divorce to the interview. :'( What should I do.....

You have an ethical problem to resolve (i.e., honesty with your intended) and a legal one (honesty with the U.S. government). You really don't have much of a choice but to be fully open with her before you send any kind of petition to the USCIS.

[neva 0]

thanks for all the replies. I'm going to do the right thing and own up. It's the best course.

Good man.

[bobb 0]

If you need someone to translate and certify your divorce I can probably help you. You can do everything through email and he will send you the translation and certifications by email and by post. Send me a PM and I'll give you his contact information. He is Chinese and lives and works in China. He certified my translated Chinese divorce papers.

[bhajishah 4]

hello if she has a problem with who you are then there is a problem.. dont you have to list the countries you lived and married in hmm?? sneaky pete

[neva 0]

Be nice. He's already said he's gonna come clean. He has obviously been struggling with this decision, and in the end he made the right decision to tell her. So let's stop beating him up now.

[Bern. 3]

Good luck in telling her, I hope everything works out for you.

[Lambie and Wolfie 0]

It all boils down to choice and risk. You can risk the disappointment of your fiancee when she finds out that you omitted your previous marriage from your life history or risk the relationship ending because of your visa petition being denied for deception.

You got involved in a relationship with a woman from a culture that frowns upon divorce. You were selfish in decision to withhold the information and now you are suggesting starting your married lives in a lie? The USCIS ask questions in order to test how bona fide a marriage is. You'd better believe that they'd expect your future wife to know you were married.

USCIS in China has access to many public records in China so I would suggest that you treat this as a real legal marriage which it was and list it on your USCIS paperwork. As to not telling your new wife about this, well this is a personal choice but I believe the marriage is a bond of not only love but also trust. When you hide this from her, then how can you expect her to have trust in you as a wife?

Lambie and Wolfie

[mintos 0]

took me two sleepless nights to work up the courage to tell her but I finally did. She says she can understand, but wants to see all the documentation. Now I'm frantically looking for my greenbook. Where can I get a replacement if I need one?

[KimandRuss 0]

Good for you. Honesty is always best.

best of luck

[Carlawarla 1]

So glad you told her. I truly hope that this can be worked out. I have no idea what a greenbook is! Sorry!

[neva 0]

took me two sleepless nights to work up the courage to tell her but I finally did. She says she can understand, but wants to see all the documentation. Now I'm frantically looking for my greenbook. Where can I get a replacement if I need one?

What you did took courage and shows a strength of character that puts you head and shoulders above many others. To have risked everything in order to do the honorable thing...you have my deepest respect. Well done sir!