Prenup... to sign or not to sign!

[Heliosphan 1]

I have no problem signing one at all. If you have faith in your marriage you won't need it. And even if it unfortunately falls apart, if you didn't earn it you don't deserve it.

[tanyaru 3]

Getting married is creating a new family, and a family should be based on trust between the two. If there is no trust then there should be no marriage. Whats mine is yours, remember?

[Benika 1]

I am all for pre-nubs. In a way my feelings about it is the opposite of a lot of peoples: For me it shows that all I want is love and a life together, I am not out to get anything else. I would sign it with a smile.

Unfortunatly I dont think pre-nubs can do anything about the biggest money issue with being an imigration sponser. When you sign the Affidavid of Support you say that you will make sure your spouse will not become a burdon of the state. SO if your ex-spouse does not work you will have to support them in the US for up to 10 years and no pre-nub can change that.

All people thinking about marraige should think long and hard. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in the process, the paperwork and missing each other that they forget this is the person they will be spending the rest of their lives with ... and all that entails.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

A pre-nup usually has nothing to do with trust. For the most part, a pre-nup is protection. It's protecting your assets that you have worked hard for before the marriage and that you don't want to lose in case the marriage doesn't work out. A reasonable person should not be offended by the idea because of the fact that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In some cases, where people aren't sure about their fiancee's, they may ask for one. In those cases, it's about trust, but those people probably shouldn't get married to begin with.

[Beautiful_years 0]

but would a prenup be a good scare tactic for those who areent into loving 100% who wants to get here lift conditions and say goodbye?

[Beautiful_years 0]

So should we recommend it for usc who sponsors their spouses and have tiny little doubts but cant do much because the k-1 gives them conditions to getting married as soon as possible? afterall some people would have wanted more time to sort things out and attend to those tiny red flags.

[trinidad-lohner 0]

i, for one, is PRO pre-nup...all my family members went through it...my cousin is a lawyer specializing in wills and succession so she was the one who suggested this...

my husband (a USC) didnt want one but, his father suggested (after going through 3 divorces) that he offer me one....he told his father that he thinks we don't need it because i have whatever he has...his father is more concerned about his inheritance from him...i dont know about US laws but in the philippines, as far as i know, even if the couple has a pre-nup agreement, the spouse doesnt have a right on the inheritance portion of his assets but the children do (im not so sure about the children's rights, though...not yet a concern coz we dont have kids yet)....anyone who knows about the inheritance money as part of the pre-nup?

my husband and i have been married for over a year now but i am still contemplating on discussing pre-nup (though, it will seem like a post-nup this time, hehehe) with him for the only reason that i dont want to be burdened by his debts in case the marriage falls apart....it so happened that he's got some debts (coz he lost his job for a couple of months two years before we got married) and i dont have any....any suggestions for me? anyone here who knows rules in CA (coz we might plan to go back to LA -- my and his family is from LA though he is now based in vegas for two years now and im flying to vegas, too, when my K3 visa gets released) or Nevada on sharing/liability of couple of/on property and debts?

i also need your advice for clarification...please help...thanks...

Edited November 9, 2008 by trinidad-lohner

[alexpapa 4]

i, for one, is PRO pre-nup...all my family members went through it...my cousin is a lawyer specializing in wills and succession so she was the one who suggested this...

my husband (a USC) didnt want one but, his father suggested (after going through 3 divorces) that he offer me one....he told his father that he thinks we don't need it because i have whatever he has...his father is more concerned about his inheritance from him...i dont know about US laws but in the philippines, as far as i know, even if the couple has a pre-nup agreement, the spouse doesnt have a right on the inheritance portion of his assets but the children do (im not so sure about the children's rights, though...not yet a concern coz we dont have kids yet)....anyone who knows about the inheritance money as part of the pre-nup?

my husband and i have been married for over a year now but i am still contemplating on discussing pre-nup (though, it will seem like a post-nup this time, hehehe) with him for the only reason that i dont want to be burdened by his debts in case the marriage falls apart....it so happened that he's got some debts (coz he lost his job for a couple of months two years before we got married) and i dont have any....any suggestions for me? anyone here who knows rules in CA (coz we might plan to go back to LA -- my and his family is from LA though he is now based in vegas for two years now and im flying to vegas, too, when my K3 visa gets released) or Nevada on sharing/liability of couple of/on property and debts?

i also need your advice for clarification...please help...thanks...

A post-nuptial is possible, after all it is just a contract. But, there are no Act's (laws) surrounding post-nups and in turn no guidance. You would have to have it written extremely well, with a very good attorney assisting as these could be contested a lot easier in court - and that is what you are trying to avoid of course.

So maybe a little late, contracts should really be written before the marriage takes place, but not entirely worthless.

[Beautiful_years 0]

I am all for pre-nubs. In a way my feelings about it is the opposite of a lot of peoples: For me it shows that all I want is love and a life together, I am not out to get anything else. I would sign it with a smile.

Unfortunatly I dont think pre-nubs can do anything about the biggest money issue with being an imigration sponser. When you sign the Affidavid of Support you say that you will make sure your spouse will not become a burdon of the state. SO if your ex-spouse does not work you will have to support them in the US for up to 10 years and no pre-nub can change that.

All people thinking about marraige should think long and hard. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in the process, the paperwork and missing each other that they forget this is the person they will be spending the rest of their lives with ... and all that entails.

You did make some valid point because prenup or no prenup you are bounded by the affidavit of support to keep taking responsibilities until the 10yrs rolls over

[Ta Ta 1]

I feel that to do or not to do a prenub is a personal choice and under no circumstances should the USCIS mandate it. There are more than enough

safety guards in place and I for one want my own choice and will honor that choice by being responsible and accountable to myself if the consequences

go in a negative direction.

I need no government to protect me from my own choices in selection of a spouse. That is a personal decision.

People need to look to and within themselves for safety and common sense. I certainly would consider it an invasion of my liberty.

I chose and therefore I am accountable.

I don't need the USCIS to " protect me and hold my hand " in my personal business.

[Ta Ta 1]

Unless the immigrant is granted citizenship, which will shorten the 10 years ( 40 quarters ) and only means tested benefits would have to be repayed in the event the foreign spouse received it.

Edited November 9, 2008 by Omoba

[Beautiful_years 0]

I feel that to do or not to do a prenub is a personal choice and under no circumstances should the USCIS mandate it. There are more than enough

safety guards in place and I for one want my own choice and will honor that choice by being responsible and accountable to myself if the consequences

go in a negative direction.

I need no government to protect me from my own choices in selection of a spouse. That is a personal decision.

People need to look to and within themselves for safety and common sense. I certainly would consider it an invasion of my liberty.

I chose and therefore I am accountable.

I don't need the USCIS to " protect me and hold my hand " in my personal business.

Lets reverse roles, if your spouse happens to be the USC and suggests or presents it as an option before marriage, afterall, its love thats the issue not money and not inheritance... would you sign or see it as absolute insolence?

[Ta Ta 1]

I am all for pre-nubs. In a way my feelings about it is the opposite of a lot of peoples: For me it shows that all I want is love and a life together, I am not out to get anything else. I would sign it with a smile.

Unfortunatly I dont think pre-nubs can do anything about the biggest money issue with being an imigration sponser. When you sign the Affidavid of Support you say that you will make sure your spouse will not become a burdon of the state. SO if your ex-spouse does not work you will have to support them in the US for up to 10 years and no pre-nub can change that.

All people thinking about marraige should think long and hard. Sometimes people get so wrapped up in the process, the paperwork and missing each other that they forget this is the person they will be spending the rest of their lives with ... and all that entails.

You did make some valid point because prenup or no prenup you are bounded by the affidavit of support to keep taking responsibilities until the 10yrs rolls over

I feel that to do or not to do a prenub is a personal choice and under no circumstances should the USCIS mandate it. There are more than enough

safety guards in place and I for one want my own choice and will honor that choice by being responsible and accountable to myself if the consequences

go in a negative direction.

I need no government to protect me from my own choices in selection of a spouse. That is a personal decision.

People need to look to and within themselves for safety and common sense. I certainly would consider it an invasion of my liberty.

I chose and therefore I am accountable.

I don't need the USCIS to " protect me and hold my hand " in my personal business.

Lets reverse roles, if your spouse happens to be the USC and suggests or presents it as an option before marriage, afterall, its love thats the issue not money and not inheritance... would you sign or see it as absolute insolence?

I would sign it if it is fair to both sides. For example, if I would be a foreign spouse and agree to remain in the home to raise our

children and not go to work for a certain amount of time, say 5 years, I would in the event of divorce like a fair share

for the 5 years put into the marriage.

I would like to be part of the negotiations where both feel satisfied.

It is not a black and white issue to me, a yes or a no, but it's about communication and negotiation.

[Ta Ta 1]

I just have a problem with people choosing spouses and then when things go wrong go crying to the USCIS demanding new regulations to keep them safe and not taking responsibility for their own choices and lack of care in selecting them.

The energy spend to "get even" with a foreign spouse by spending endless months complaining to the USCIS that they did not ' protect them ' from the fraudulent SO, should have been invested into getting to know and investigating the SO PRIOR to jumping into a visa petition.

[sunandmoon 450]

but would a prenup be a good scare tactic for those who areent into loving 100% who wants to get here lift conditions and say goodbye?

I don't think so if they are getting married just to get a green card.