I just HAD to say something ...

[Jenn! 918]

A couple weeks ago at my daughter's soccer game I was working the flag on the sideline and my daughter screwed up a play and I said something to her, which this man and woman took offence to. At half time I sitting wife my wife and the woman comes over to me and says "I'm a teacher and I would never talk to a child like that." I told her this isn't school and and I'm not one of your students so go sit your @ss down.

I think people should mind there own business.

so... what did you say to her?

She shot the ball right at the goalkeeper and I said to her "what part of aiming for the corners of the goal don't your understand?"

Do you realize you've emotionally scarred her for life?

[Bootylicious!! 2]

I've stayed away from this one until now but I just thought I had to add something. I was a very picky eater when I was a child. I wouldn't eat hardly anything. My dad used to tell me, "eat it or I'll shove it up the other way." I suppose some people on here would say my father abused me by telling me this. I would have to disagree. First of all, it got me to eat. Second of all, I will try any new food put in front of me and am not afraid to do so. I eat a bigger variety of things then most people in my office. I was also spanked (although not many times) when I was growing up. I learned real quickly if I did something wrong, that was my punishment. I did fear my parents but not because I was scared of them but because I was afraid of disappointing them. I wouldn't have considered what Gimy saw in the restaurant as abuse, others do. It's all in how you were raised and what you experienced growing up. I have to agree with Merc when he says he would have told you where to stick it. I would be highly offended if anyone told me how to raise my children. That's just my opinion. I know, as someone said before, you have a right to tell me how to do it. But, I also have the right to tell you to kiss my a## when you do.

Okay, now that I have voiced my opinion, flame on.

[chri'stina 190]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

[mercuryroad 0]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

[chri'stina 190]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

I know what you mean and believe me I detest seeing children acting like brats. I worked with preschoolers last year!

But if the child was causing such a scene as an actor, I would have taken them outside for a talk instead of continuing the scene inside. And I'd never shove anything into their mouth. They could go hungry(by their own choice) if they refuse or maybe it's something deeper going on. I wouldn't let my kids cause any scene to begin with. But we don't know the whole story, it could have been just a jerk mother provoking her child, or it could have been a very bratty kid, but then why would the mom start forcing food into her mouth in front of so many ppl in a restuarant and yell. That is also not normal nor authoratative in my opinion, it's spastic.

Edited June 2, 2006 by stina&suj

[Traviesa 0]

I don't know how I feel about this.

I know personally, a LOT of things bug me. It bugs me if I go to a late movie (like after 11) and see kids in the movie theatre. It bugged me one time a long time ago when I was out with Javier at Applebee's after his work shift (so it was like after 11:30) and this huge group of women had this little boy with them. He was falling asleep at the table, but not only would they not allow him to nap, they forced him to eat! I have had two distinct situations in drive-thrus that have bothered me. One time I was getting home really late (probably after 10) and the person behind me ordered a Happy Meal for his child. Another was when a woman attempted to cut in front of me in line, and when I didn't allow her to do so, she started yelling things out the window to me-with her child there in the passenger seat. It bugged me to the point of saying something only once-when I was following an SUV in which the little girl in the back was jumping around and there were two grown women in the front seat-yes, I yelled out the window that the child needs to be in a seat belt.

I think harmful behavior towards children can take many forms and so can abuse-I would consider almost all of the above harmful and neglectful behavior on the part of the parents.

Then there are times when there's a kid being an absolute snot and annoying other people to death, and I'm happy to see the parents discipline them. I would never be happy, however, to see physically abusive behavior. There's a line that you cross-when the punishment strays from the purpose of shocking the child, to the purpose of hurting the child. Any time a parent is trying to hurt a child is abusive, in my opinion.

Having said that, I'm not against a good spanking-WHEN it is DESERVED. I was spanked a very few times in my life, am certainly not scarred by the memory of them, but at the time it was enough to scare me so that I behaved. I was also never embarassed by my parents. I distinctly remember when I acted up in restaurants or wherever, being taken outside and spoken to.

[mercuryroad 0]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

I know what you mean and believe me I detest seeing children acting like brats. I worked with preschoolers last year!

But if the child was causing such a scene as an actor, I would have taken them outside for a talk instead of continuing the scene inside. And I'd never shove anything into their mouth. They could go hungry(by their own choice) if they refuse or maybe it's something deeper going on. I wouldn't let my kids cause any scene to begin with. But we don't know the whole story, it could have been just a jerk mother provoking her child, or it could have been a very bratty kid, but then why would the mom start forcing food into her mouth in front of so many ppl in a restuarant and yell. That is also not normal nor authoratative in my opinion, it's spastic.

I can agree with that.....if the kid was just being a brat then there are better ways of handling the situation but who knows.....this kid could have been pulling stuff all day and the mom just snapped. It's like Chris Rock says: "I didn't say it was right.....but I understand".

Like you said.....in the ideal situation she probably should have handled that differently. We all have our moments though and I just don't believe the kid was in serious danger.

[Sister Fracas 5]

We all have our moments though and I just don't believe the kid was in serious danger.

None of us were there though, except Gimy...

People have different thresholds for what they see as abusive. I just wonder at what point those of you who said they would have told Gimy to shove it up her a$$ would actually intervene in a situation that YOU found unacceptable? Or would you never? According to what you are saying, the parent YOU see abusing their child should also tell YOU to shove it up your a$$.

Edited June 2, 2006 by Frances

[Traviesa 0]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

I know what you mean and believe me I detest seeing children acting like brats. I worked with preschoolers last year!

But if the child was causing such a scene as an actor, I would have taken them outside for a talk instead of continuing the scene inside. And I'd never shove anything into their mouth. They could go hungry(by their own choice) if they refuse or maybe it's something deeper going on. I wouldn't let my kids cause any scene to begin with. But we don't know the whole story, it could have been just a jerk mother provoking her child, or it could have been a very bratty kid, but then why would the mom start forcing food into her mouth in front of so many ppl in a restuarant and yell. That is also not normal nor authoratative in my opinion, it's spastic.

I can agree with that.....if the kid was just being a brat then there are better ways of handling the situation but who knows.....this kid could have been pulling stuff all day and the mom just snapped. It's like Chris Rock says: "I didn't say it was right.....but I understand".

Like you said.....in the ideal situation she probably should have handled that differently. We all have our moments though and I just don't believe the kid was in serious danger.

My thought on this is...if the kid's been having a rough day, why then take them to a restaurant and try to force them to perform in public? I mean, if it was me, and I had been having that stressful of a day with a kid being a "brat" all day, we'd be going home for dinner. That would be about all I could take. There's simply no reason to subject yourself-and everyone around you-to a situation that is so stressful it causes you to "snap."

[mercuryroad 0]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

I know what you mean and believe me I detest seeing children acting like brats. I worked with preschoolers last year!

But if the child was causing such a scene as an actor, I would have taken them outside for a talk instead of continuing the scene inside. And I'd never shove anything into their mouth. They could go hungry(by their own choice) if they refuse or maybe it's something deeper going on. I wouldn't let my kids cause any scene to begin with. But we don't know the whole story, it could have been just a jerk mother provoking her child, or it could have been a very bratty kid, but then why would the mom start forcing food into her mouth in front of so many ppl in a restuarant and yell. That is also not normal nor authoratative in my opinion, it's spastic.

I can agree with that.....if the kid was just being a brat then there are better ways of handling the situation but who knows.....this kid could have been pulling stuff all day and the mom just snapped. It's like Chris Rock says: "I didn't say it was right.....but I understand".

Like you said.....in the ideal situation she probably should have handled that differently. We all have our moments though and I just don't believe the kid was in serious danger.

My thought on this is...if the kid's been having a rough day, why then take them to a restaurant and try to force them to perform in public? I mean, if it was me, and I had been having that stressful of a day with a kid being a "brat" all day, we'd be going home for dinner. That would be about all I could take. There's simply no reason to subject yourself-and everyone around you-to a situation that is so stressful it causes you to "snap."

But we don't know her situation.....maybe this is a single mother that just got off a shift and felt too exhausted to cook.

[Traviesa 0]

I also was spanked as a kid (and feel no remorse about that and possibly will spank my own kids one day, I turned out to be a very good kid) but still I think actually causing your child to choke draws the line and is not right.

But kids can be the world's greatest actors as well........I remember all of the drama I created because I didn't want to eat my peas. I would have acted like I was near death.....and did sometimes. Mom knew I was full of sh!t.

Choking implies intent to me.

I know what you mean and believe me I detest seeing children acting like brats. I worked with preschoolers last year!

But if the child was causing such a scene as an actor, I would have taken them outside for a talk instead of continuing the scene inside. And I'd never shove anything into their mouth. They could go hungry(by their own choice) if they refuse or maybe it's something deeper going on. I wouldn't let my kids cause any scene to begin with. But we don't know the whole story, it could have been just a jerk mother provoking her child, or it could have been a very bratty kid, but then why would the mom start forcing food into her mouth in front of so many ppl in a restuarant and yell. That is also not normal nor authoratative in my opinion, it's spastic.

I can agree with that.....if the kid was just being a brat then there are better ways of handling the situation but who knows.....this kid could have been pulling stuff all day and the mom just snapped. It's like Chris Rock says: "I didn't say it was right.....but I understand".

Like you said.....in the ideal situation she probably should have handled that differently. We all have our moments though and I just don't believe the kid was in serious danger.

My thought on this is...if the kid's been having a rough day, why then take them to a restaurant and try to force them to perform in public? I mean, if it was me, and I had been having that stressful of a day with a kid being a "brat" all day, we'd be going home for dinner. That would be about all I could take. There's simply no reason to subject yourself-and everyone around you-to a situation that is so stressful it causes you to "snap."

But we don't know her situation.....maybe this is a single mother that just got off a shift and felt too exhausted to cook.

Please...a PB&J sandwich, and sending the girl to her room would have been better than that public display.

[Sister Fracas 5]

My thought on this is...if the kid's been having a rough day, why then take them to a restaurant and try to force them to perform in public? I mean, if it was me, and I had been having that stressful of a day with a kid being a "brat" all day, we'd be going home for dinner. That would be about all I could take. There's simply no reason to subject yourself-and everyone around you-to a situation that is so stressful it causes you to "snap."

Good! And then in this case, maybe a parent who is not normally abusive, but just "snaps" would gain something by a few words from a stranger....no?

[Jenn! 918]

My thought on this is...if the kid's been having a rough day, why then take them to a restaurant and try to force them to perform in public? I mean, if it was me, and I had been having that stressful of a day with a kid being a "brat" all day, we'd be going home for dinner. That would be about all I could take. There's simply no reason to subject yourself-and everyone around you-to a situation that is so stressful it causes you to "snap."

Good! And then in this case, maybe a parent who is not normally abusive, but just "snaps" would gain something by a few words from a stranger....no?

Never talk to strangers.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Please...a PB&J sandwich, and sending the girl to her room would have been better than that public display.

Agreed! And it's just plain rude to subject the people around you in a restaurant to all kinds of disruptive behavior. It takes longer to sit in a restaurant getting all worked up than it does to pop something in the microwave if she was so stressed....all conjecture of course.

I still wonder why there is an assumption that it had to be a bratty child that brought this all on?

Never talk to strangers.

we'd never get anywehre in life without talking to strangers...

[Traviesa 0]

Please...a PB&J sandwich, and sending the girl to her room would have been better than that public display.

Agreed! And it's just plain rude to subject the people around you in a restaurant to all kinds of disruptive behavior. It takes longer to sit in a restaurant getting all worked up than it does to pop something in the microwave if she was so stressed....all conjecture of course.

I still wonder why there is an assumption that it had to be a bratty child that brought this all on?

Because, it's much easier to blame the child than to encourage parental responsibility. I personally believe this didn't have a whole lot to do with the child's behavior, but I'm entertaining that theory anyway to suggest there were still better ways of handling it.