Couple of chuckles for ya!

[Dixie_Peach 1]

I love the story on the male stripper!

The old man and the parrot

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow and green and orange and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him. The boy said, "What's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?" The old man answered, "Well yes, actually, I have. I once got drunk and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

Male stripper

The other day, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She calls the guy back over, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the bill. I'm worried about the way things are going, but fortunately she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks, again. My relief was short lived. Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me! Now everyone's attention is focused on me, and the guy's egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do? Then the marketer in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his ###, grabbed the 80 bucks, and went home. . .

Italian Journey

"One day Ima go to No Fock, Virginia to a bigga hotel.

I go down to eat soma breakfast.

I tell the waitress I wanna two piss toast.

She branga me only onea piss, I tell her I wanna two piss, she say go to the

toilet.

I say you no understand.

I wanna two piss on my plate.

She say you better no piss on the plate you Sonna Ma ######.

I don't even know the lady and she call me Sonna Ma ######!"

The healer

This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you & I will heal you." The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her husband approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin. With a frown his wife says, "Ernest, he's talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead."

[Bootylicious!! 2]

[almaty 19]

[Fandango 1,440]

Dixie, here's the whole Italian joke...

One day I ma gonna Detroit to bigga hotel. I go down to breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She bring me only one piss. I tell her I wanna two pisses. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna two piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna va ######. I don't even know the lady and she calls me a sonna va ######!

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress she bring me a spoon and knife but no fock I tell her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand, I wanna fock onna table. She say you better no fock onna table, you sonna va ######.

So I go back to my room inna hotel and there isa no sheeeet onna ma bed. I call the manager and I tella him I wanna sheeet He tell me to go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna sheeeet onna my bed. He say you better no sheeeeet onna bed, you sonna va ######.

I go to the check-out and the man at the desk say, ,,Peace on you". I say, ,,Piss onna you too, you sonna va ######. I gonna back to Italy"

Edited May 22, 2006 by LisaD

[almaty 19]

good one

[alexil74 0]

[Rocio 0]

[Aymerlu 3]