FRIENDS

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

Are you tired of those sissy-### "friendship" poems that always sound

good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true

friendship:

1. When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge

against the sorry ####### who made you sad.

2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is

choking you.

3. When you smile - I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about

how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused - I will use little words.

7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are

well again I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsy ###.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may

ask; "because you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed

because you can only think of 9.

THis made me laugh for a while. Hope it does the same for those of you reading it lol.

Laura Mitchell

LMFAO..here is another one...GOD my friends kill me with these enlightening emails..lol.

Eight Words with two Meanings

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.

Female...... Any part under a car's hood.

Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.

Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.

Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.

Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.

Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.

Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.

Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.

Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.

Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.

Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.

Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.

Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.

Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.

Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?

She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?

She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?

She said . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?

She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?

She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO

THE GUYS YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT!

[Ban Hammer 14,338]

lol. maybe i should post my top 10 list of why dogs are better than women

[aussiewench 9]

funny

I do love this one

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

hahahahaha

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

Just say 'no' to spam e-mails.

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

funny

I do love this one

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?

She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

hahahahaha

LMFAO...haha I like this one:He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

[almaty 19]

well put many times...

[Fandango 1,440]

lol. maybe i should post my top 10 list of why dogs are better than women

Would explain the fascination with your avatar

[aussiewench 9]

lol. maybe i should post my top 10 list of why dogs are better than women

Would explain the fascination with your avatar

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

OOOOOOO SAUCY!!!! lol

Laura