Divorce...

[u2rsobad 0]

It sounds to me like your husband is secretely gay.

Mine was and I see similar pattern: he goes out with his friend a lot, he takes his friend's side over yours (he blames you instead of admitting that his friend was rude), then he still loves you but needs space. Ha. Been there seen that

These guys do tend to be extra nice, that is until they dare to realise their gayness, and then woman is junked.

I think you know it in your heart and this is why you are jealous - in respect to a man, no less.

Wow...that's a huge leap of assumptions! Not quite sure where to start with that one and if that's what really happened with you, I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound that way to me at all. Just because a guy wants to hang out with friends from time to time, especially those in the military that they only see very infrequently, doesn't mean he's gay.

Jandy~

Give him the space he needs and instead of "telling" him or trying to tell him how you want to change, "show" him. Your actions will speak much louder than your words. Start by concentrating on your studies and do what you can when he asks. As someone else said, if you keep hounding him, you will lose him. If he hasn't mentioned divorce to you, then don't worry about it at this point. He may not be thinking that way at all. It sounds like you need to make some friends to keep you busy and to have fun with as well. Maybe plan a "girl's night out" when he's with his friends, so that you won't be alone thinking about him. If you can't control this jealousy of yours, please seek counseling, so they can help you. Doing this will also "show" him that you're really trying to "fix" the problem.

I wish you all the best no matter which way it works out. Everyone deserves to be happy

[rika60607 215]

I hope you right, but I am afraid I am right with my leap of assumption, or insight we may call it

Considering that ~10% of male population is gay, it is really not that impossible.

And as I said, I've seen the symptoms before. Oprah had a nice show about it.

My advice to OP (hard to follow, I know) - get your own life and your own friends, make yourself happy and then may be he comes back. If not, as long as you are happy, you will meet someone else. You can't force anyone love you.

Wow...that's a huge leap of assumptions! Not quite sure where to start with that one and if that's what really happened with you, I'm sorry, but it doesn't sound that way to me at all. Just because a guy wants to hang out with friends from time to time, especially those in the military that they only see very infrequently, doesn't mean he's gay.

/quote]

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Are you guys living apart already during your AOS, since he said not to wait for him on msn? If you guys have already split to live in separate places, I'd say that's not good. Marriage is tough work, I swear I didn't know how much work goes into a marriage until I got myself into one!

Marriage is a compromise between two people, and you should take the people for whom they are as you are marrying them. You said in one of your posts about being stupid for not changing, I dont think you should. He knew who you were when he met you, and that must have been an enough of an awesome person to want to marry you, then why change? People should change together, with time, not just one person.

If I were in your shoes, I'd be pissed off that my husband would be hanging out with friends who disrespected me, but I'd also clearly state to him that if he respects me, he should demand the same from his friends. I'd be jealous too, but 2-3 weeks doesn't make or break a marriage.

Your husband has had a couple failed marriages, seems he gives up way too soon. This is not a girlfriend you just say goodbye to, this is a wife, this is a committment/promise. My opinion would be to give him some time, then tell him you love him, and want to make this marriage work, and that you guys would like to see a counselor TOGETHER to talk about your issues.

Good luck