Some interesting facts about Chuck Norris

[amiquechu 0]

In case you haven't heard what a badass Chuck Norris is, this should offer some insight...

Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.

When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.

Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.

Count from one to ten. That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you...Fourty seven times.

The 1972 Miami Dolphins lost one game, it was an exhibition game vs. Chuck Norris and three seven year old girls. Chuck Norris won with a roundhouse-kick to the face in overtime.

Chuck Norris is not Politically Correct. He is just Correct. Always.

Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean. The tsunamis were killing people.

Chuck Norris has volunteered to remain on earth after the Rapture; he will spend his time fighting the Anti-Christ.

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.

Chuck Norris has never been accused of murder for the simple fact that his roundhouse kicks are recognized world-wide as "acts of God."

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.

Chuck Norris is the only man who has, literally, beaten the odds. With his fists.

[DeadPoolX 9]

It really makes me wonder how Chuck Norris went from B-list actor (if that much) to Internet phenomenon...

[amiquechu 0]

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

[Welshcookie 17]

It really makes me wonder how Chuck Norris went from B-list actor (if that much) to Internet phenomenon...

And he's not too happy about it either

http://www.reuters.com/article/rbssTechMed...129580420071222

[amiquechu 0]

It really makes me wonder how Chuck Norris went from B-list actor (if that much) to Internet phenomenon...

I hope for your sake that Chuck Norris never sees what you wrote. See below...

He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.

[nane1104 146]

THanks, I needed a good laugh!

[amiquechu 0]

Chuck Norris needs a monkeywrench and a blowtorch to masturbate.

The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.

Chuck Norris actually owns IBM. It was an extremely hostile takeover.

[Amby 490]

[Marilyn. 340]

this is funny..

[Amby 490]

he doesn't seem to amused by it

[Marilyn. 340]

he is laughing :shrugs:

[Mononoke28 137]

I never thought Chuck Norris was that interesting. And after reading this post, I still feel the same.

Diana

[amiquechu 0]

Chuck Norris can jump-start a car using jumper cables attached to his nipples.

Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Norris' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a Colombian Necktie.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.

[amiquechu 0]

I never thought Chuck Norris was that interesting. And after reading this post, I still feel the same.

Diana

If you're a simple-minded, easily amused person like me, Chuck Norris Facts are pretty entertaining.

[Marilyn. 340]

Conan O'Brien used to have this bit where he would pull this lever and they would play a random Walker Texas Ranger clip... too funny