TAKE IT FROM A GERMAN

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Pretty good - thought I'd share:

German roads are unique. It seems like an opportunity for serious injury or death a run-in with the law presents itself around every corner. A German reader sets you straight.

Germany is quite different from the rest of the world when driving a car (or even walking). It's a bit of a mix between southern Italy (impatient crazy folks, everything goes) coupled with driving in America (impatient bad drivers). But the major difference is that virtually every move made by drivers on German streets is regulated by the law. If there's not a sign allowing it, assume that it is verboten. Also, make no mistake about it, not everyone is equal on the German road.

To help visitors traveling to Germany this summer, I have put together a list of rules that should be heeded at all times:

Don't ever drive on the left lane of the Autobahn unless you really know what you are doing or unless you have a death-wish. People really do drive 200 kph or faster and don't like it when slower moving cars block their test tracks.

Don't ever pass a car on the right on the Autobahn. You'll either get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't give anyone "the finger." Germans are 100 times more likely to call the police or they will go completely crazy and hunt you down until you start crying.

Don't ever mess with BMW or Mercedes drivers. They always have the right of way. You might not get a ticket but you'll incur the wrath of those beautiful people in chic tweed jackets and well-coifed gray hair.

Never drive through an almost-red traffic light. You'll likely get a ticket or you'll die.

As a pedestrian, never walk when the signals red. You'll get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't forget to use your turn signal, otherwise you'll get a ticket. It's not optional as it is in Italy or America.

Don't leave your car running when waiting for someone. You'll either get a ticket or passers-by will kick your car because you're polluting Germany.

Don't go too slow (less than 120 kmh) on the Autobahn. You might get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't compete with a German native for a parking space. You'll surely lose the battle and your rental car will be scratched for sure!

Don't park too close to another car or you might get cursed at.

Don't complain when a parking attendant charges you for another hour even if you're only 25 seconds late. Smile and pay!! German punctuality.

Don't even think of parking without paying, even if you have to walk 100 yards to the machine that dispenses the tickets). If you don't, you will get fined. Guaranteed.

Don't ever argue with a meter maid. You'll lose the battle and you might lose your appetite as well.

Don't drink and drive! I hear that German jails have even more rules.

My recommendation is to take public transport or taxis anywhere you go. You do want to remember your visit to Germany as a positive experience, right? Germany is a wonderful and friendly country. Just not while driving a car!

Source

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

Pretty good - thought I'd share:

German roads are unique. It seems like an opportunity for serious injury or death a run-in with the law presents itself around every corner. A German reader sets you straight.

Germany is quite different from the rest of the world when driving a car (or even walking). It's a bit of a mix between southern Italy (impatient crazy folks, everything goes) coupled with driving in America (impatient bad drivers). But the major difference is that virtually every move made by drivers on German streets is regulated by the law. If there's not a sign allowing it, assume that it is verboten. Also, make no mistake about it, not everyone is equal on the German road.

To help visitors traveling to Germany this summer, I have put together a list of rules that should be heeded at all times:

Don't ever drive on the left lane of the Autobahn unless you really know what you are doing or unless you have a death-wish. People really do drive 200 kph or faster and don't like it when slower moving cars block their test tracks.

Don't ever pass a car on the right on the Autobahn. You'll either get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't give anyone "the finger." Germans are 100 times more likely to call the police or they will go completely crazy and hunt you down until you start crying.

Don't ever mess with BMW or Mercedes drivers. They always have the right of way. You might not get a ticket but you'll incur the wrath of those beautiful people in chic tweed jackets and well-coifed gray hair.

Never drive through an almost-red traffic light. You'll likely get a ticket or you'll die.

As a pedestrian, never walk when the signals red. You'll get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't forget to use your turn signal, otherwise you'll get a ticket. It's not optional as it is in Italy or America.

Don't leave your car running when waiting for someone. You'll either get a ticket or passers-by will kick your car because you're polluting Germany.

Don't go too slow (less than 120 kmh) on the Autobahn. You might get a ticket or you'll die.

Don't compete with a German native for a parking space. You'll surely lose the battle and your rental car will be scratched for sure!

Don't park too close to another car or you might get cursed at.

Don't complain when a parking attendant charges you for another hour even if you're only 25 seconds late. Smile and pay!! German punctuality.

Don't even think of parking without paying, even if you have to walk 100 yards to the machine that dispenses the tickets). If you don't, you will get fined. Guaranteed.

Don't ever argue with a meter maid. You'll lose the battle and you might lose your appetite as well.

Don't drink and drive! I hear that German jails have even more rules.

My recommendation is to take public transport or taxis anywhere you go. You do want to remember your visit to Germany as a positive experience, right? Germany is a wonderful and friendly country. Just not while driving a car!

Source

all above are true

my notes........

200 kph? i've seen almost 200 mph in the left hand lane. if you see headlights behind you, odds are they are closing at almost 100 mph!

obey the speed limit. if you see a flash, like when you go thru a red light, you just spent some money and you'll cringe seeing the bill! the germans love them little cameras and they take pics at one per second

german police are nice people but they can get uglier than a $5 hooker if you argue with them. so don't as german jails and fines are nothing to laugh at. never call a german police officer "du" under any circumstance.

you left out audi drivers btw........

what part of germany you from et-us?

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

what part of germany you from et-us?

Berlin.

[germangel 0]

oooohhh, yeah, it is no joke!

Look at the rest of the survival bible on the website, it's very funny

[iceyspots 0]

A lot of those rules apply in Algeria, but Algerian roads dont have lines on them to separate traffic.. it's just a random clusterf*#k

[Fischkoepfin 1]

The speeding thing is true although I have noticed that with rising gas prices and constant bombardment by news media concerning possible future oil shortages the average speed on the autobahn has dropped from around 100mph to about 85 mph. Of course, people in sports and luxury cars are unphased and continue cruising at around 140 mph.

And yes, Audis should be included as should any type of luxury sports car; Germans owning Porsches and Ferraris are even more adament about their right to speed than other drivers. If you see those in your mirror, go to the right immediately.

Lastly, they forgot about bikers. Those on motor cycles have invented the extra lane and speed at around 100 mph between the left and the right lane of the autobahn. When you try to get out of the way make sure to check for a suddenly materializing biker and decide how you want to die. Those on bicycles consider themselves en par with drivers and could be viewed as the renegades of the German road. There less fast and thus not allowed on the autobahn, but they are known to make driving and walking in cities hell. Watch out for bicycling friends who ride next to each other in the middle of the road and will make you brake.

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

what part of germany you from et-us?

Berlin.

ah i was there one time. freaking cold up there is all i can remember.

[Mirorgate 0]

Things I remember about the A-Bahn while in Germany.

My father would continually pull out in front of a MUCH faster vehicle

American Made cars are NOT designed to actually go those speeds, no matter what the speedometer says.

A BMW could accelerate faster than a Merc 300.. but the Merc has a much faster top end .. much to the BMW's chagrin.

Don't ever argue with the Polizie about a breath-a-lizer test, they will get a blood sample instead (stupid GI)

Entering the wrong way onto the A-Bahn WILL cause a 100+ car pile up (happened in Bonn once... poor older guy)

Drivign 8 hrs in any direction and being in another country, not just a different part of the state

There really is a ######, France (actual town name)

[Ban Hammer 12,836]

Things I remember about the A-Bahn while in Germany.

My father would continually pull out in front of a MUCH faster vehicle

American Made cars are NOT designed to actually go those speeds, no matter what the speedometer says.

A BMW could accelerate faster than a Merc 300.. but the Merc has a much faster top end .. much to the BMW's chagrin.

Don't ever argue with the Polizie about a breath-a-lizer test, they will get a blood sample instead (stupid GI)

Entering the wrong way onto the A-Bahn WILL cause a 100+ car pile up (happened in Bonn once... poor older guy)

Drivign 8 hrs in any direction and being in another country, not just a different part of the state

There really is a ######, France (actual town name)

yup that is true about american cars. i loved seeing someone get a corvette and go tear up the autobahn with it. within 6 months they'd be broke down if they had an auto transmission

[Eveline 9]

Never underestimate people on bikes while you in a town either. These "bikers" have the right of way no matter if the traffic light is red or not, if there is no car crossing the intersection, they will cross it even when the light is red and if you hit them, you pay...

Then also, never say anything like "Du Schwein", "Du Arschloch" oder "You motherf&*@er" to a cop...believe me, it will cost you big money...

Anyway, I kinda miss Germany now...Makes me wanna go home