Ok that tears it

[frostysoftyeaton 6]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly. Waiting is hard to do. It's even more difficult to deal with if half or more of the people in your happy little "June Filer!!!!111" group have already been approved and you're still waiting for a single touch. Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

Stop comparing your case to everyone else. That's the secret bit of knowledge I'll pass on to everyone. Just ignore any and everything to do with immigration/visas. Hell, avoid VJ until you have your NOA2. Use VJ to help with the process, then leave until you need VJ again. Once your SO is here, you can come back to VJ to stay. Then you can just compare willies or truck size rather than processing times.

very well said,but its true stop comparing your case to anyone

[wifetobe 2]

Luck of the draw. And, yes, in the end, I've found it to even out as well.

Hang in there.

Absolutely luck of the draw.... I wouldn't focus too much on it either it's negative...

It could be worse, take 'estadia' for example. Poor girl's been waiting for a 'NOA2' since September 2007..contacted her senator and still nothing....... I know it's frustrating but its frustrating for others too, and yes I think you'll find you'll be ahead of someone who filed before you with an appt.

[KimandRuss 0]

When I first started coming here I visted the waiting on the VSC to make a decision thread just about daily... we couldn't file yet but they seemed like the people to take lesson from. These people filed during the influx of petitions and most of them took over 6 months to process...some much, much longer! People who filed last May are just now getting to interview stage. Some..still waiting! Or how about those from higher fraud countries who are stuck in AP for years?

It's ok to be impatient with the process but it's not ok to take it out on, or blame, any other filer. We don't know their story. Maybe they've been waiting years just to be able to file, maybe they were already together for years and were ripped apart!

The people who should complain (to the government not to other vj'ers) are the ones who were stuck in that backlog ...or the CSC filers who, because of where they live, must wait so much longer for this process. That's just unfair.

this is not the hardest thing you will ever face, believe me. Learn to find ways to deal with it, choose your attitude ...don't let it choose you.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly.... Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

I completely don't agree with this... it CAN BE a detriment, sure, but in my experience (admittedly not as much as many people, but more than just a few weeks) it has been very positive... of the thousands of people on the boards, and the bewildering number of forums and threads, it was at least a starting point, a way to find people in roughly the same situation

and MANY people maintain close links with their filing compatriots but then branch out and post elsewhere as well... and I've never seen anything even approaching a 'shun her/him; s/he posted in the wrong month!' attitude

Stop comparing your case to everyone else. That's the secret bit of knowledge I'll pass on to everyone.

now THIS I think is very sound advice

[erintoronto 0]

I think it's a bit like queues at the supermarket... some people get lucky and zoom right through, but other people join the line where some little old lady has forgotten her PIN and then are stuck tapping their foot while people who arrived later are already walking out the door

haha! i think this is my favourite description to date of 'the big wait'.

(i'm not the little old lady, but i am the younger gal digging through her coin purse to find the correct change.)

Stop comparing your case to everyone else. That's the secret bit of knowledge I'll pass on to everyone.

now THIS I think is very sound advice

me, too. stats and other couples' time lines are great for getting an idea of what might happen, but nothing is 100% guaranteed in this process.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Truly, I can sympathize with your feelings. (check out my time line if you doubt it). I will add that this is the first in a series of long waits that you can expect dealing with USCIS. I would have loved to have the possibility of my K-1 getting approved in as little as 3 or 4 months! Instead the process took 9 months. We started this process 5 years ago - and I am only now at the stage of removing conditions. Waiting is not fun, and it isn't fair because others who file after you do get approved ahead of you all the way down the line. It is also not fair that we end of paying more money and getting worse service. So, go ahead and vent - and try to remember that there will always be someone better off and worse off than you. I hope you receive your approval very soon. Good luck on your journey.

Edited April 27, 2008 by Kathryn41

[Ursa Tripudio 2]

I 'think' the person that you're talking about called their senator to help expedite their approval. Right or wrong...it made the difference for them.

It's good to know that can work. I've read that the USCIS says that nobody can influence their godlike authority.

If we are not successful and get white slipped after the interview. My senator will be one of my immediate recourses. Hopefully, it won't come to that...

[Ursa Tripudio 2]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly. Waiting is hard to do. It's even more difficult to deal with if half or more of the people in your happy little "June Filer!!!!111" group have already been approved and you're still waiting for a single touch. Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

I also disagree with this.

Waiting for NOA2 was the worst part of this process. I was furthest away from the time I'll be reuniting with Li, I had much less knowledge of the process, and the wait from NOA1 to NOA2 (especially at CSC) made it seem like our case had fallen into a 'black hole'.

The thread with filers on the same timeline kept me sane. Sure, near the end there were a few that were a week or so behind that were adjudicated before us. I guess I had the opposite reaction, it didn't bother me, it was a real indication that our NOA2 was coming very soon (and it was).

[Ursa Tripudio 2]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly. Waiting is hard to do. It's even more difficult to deal with if half or more of the people in your happy little "June Filer!!!!111" group have already been approved and you're still waiting for a single touch. Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

I also disagree with this.

Waiting for NOA2 was the worst part of this process. I was furthest away from the time I'll be reuniting with Li, I had much less knowledge of the process, and the wait from NOA1 to NOA2 (especially at CSC) made it seem like our case had fallen into a 'black hole'.

The thread with filers on the same timeline kept me sane. Sure, near the end there were a few that were a week or so behind that were adjudicated before us. I guess I had the opposite reaction, it didn't bother me, it was a real indication that our NOA2 was coming very soon (and it was).

BTW: Yes, there were some snobbish people in that thread. Yes, some of them wanted to turn it into a clique. Yes, some of them posted so often (trying to raise their rank) that the tread was often clogged with inane garbage.

Nevertheless, that thread kept me sane.

[rebeccajo 14]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly. Waiting is hard to do. It's even more difficult to deal with if half or more of the people in your happy little "June Filer!!!!111" group have already been approved and you're still waiting for a single touch. Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

I also disagree with this.

Waiting for NOA2 was the worst part of this process. I was furthest away from the time I'll be reuniting with Li, I had much less knowledge of the process, and the wait from NOA1 to NOA2 (especially at CSC) made it seem like our case had fallen into a 'black hole'.

The thread with filers on the same timeline kept me sane. Sure, near the end there were a few that were a week or so behind that were adjudicated before us. I guess I had the opposite reaction, it didn't bother me, it was a real indication that our NOA2 was coming very soon (and it was).

Richard -

Platy is absolutely correct. For starters, USCIS doesn't recognize 'months'. They recognize dates. And as you already know there's a wide variety between what happens monthly at the two service centers. Also, as I know you've read information about how cases are stored and processed, that knowledge makes the 'monthly filer' concept even more ludicrous.

There were no 'monthly filer' threads on VJ when my husband and I processed. We went by the timelines already formulated by Admin. I never felt the need for anything more precise than that. Furthermore, Platy is absolutely right about the 'clubiness' the filer threads have created. It's extremely nonsensical to only fraternize with those who filed around a very artificial date. The learning curve is stunted as well.

IMO, every step taken by members to dissect processing times into smaller and smaller portions only creates stress. Every case is different and the process has too many variables. Bean counting, IMO, leads to more sleepless nights than is already inherent to the process.

[Ursa Tripudio 2]

The BIG detriment to people on VJ has been this silly "May Filer", "July Filer", etc thing. I don't know who came up with that bright idea, but they should probably be bludgeoned publicly. Waiting is hard to do. It's even more difficult to deal with if half or more of the people in your happy little "June Filer!!!!111" group have already been approved and you're still waiting for a single touch. Not to mention the whole segregation thing... "Don't talk to HER....she's a MAY filer!" An exaggeration maybe, but I don't, for the most part, see these "XXX Filers" posting outside of their happy little cliques.

I also disagree with this.

Waiting for NOA2 was the worst part of this process. I was furthest away from the time I'll be reuniting with Li, I had much less knowledge of the process, and the wait from NOA1 to NOA2 (especially at CSC) made it seem like our case had fallen into a 'black hole'.

The thread with filers on the same timeline kept me sane. Sure, near the end there were a few that were a week or so behind that were adjudicated before us. I guess I had the opposite reaction, it didn't bother me, it was a real indication that our NOA2 was coming very soon (and it was).

Richard -

Platy is absolutely correct. For starters, USCIS doesn't recognize 'months'. They recognize dates. And as you already know there's a wide variety between what happens monthly at the two service centers. Also, as I know you've read information about how cases are stored and processed, that knowledge makes the 'monthly filer' concept even more ludicrous.

There were no 'monthly filer' threads on VJ when my husband and I processed. We went by the timelines already formulated by Admin. I never felt the need for anything more precise than that. Furthermore, Platy is absolutely right about the 'clubiness' the filer threads have created. It's extremely nonsensical to only fraternize with those who filed around a very artificial date. The learning curve is stunted as well.

IMO, every step taken by members to dissect processing times into smaller and smaller portions only creates stress. Every case is different and the process has too many variables. Bean counting, IMO, leads to more sleepless nights than is already inherent to the process.

Good points.

Yes, I guess that if the monthly filer thread wasn't up, I would still have found the support and information I needed for sanity during those early days.

I can see that many people would react differently than me. I can't say that I used the thread much for comparisons. For me, it was camaraderie and almost like a support group.

While our imagined similarity may have been based on an errant assumption, that thread was beneficial to me. However, your point is well taken that similar threads could have an almost opposite effect on other people.

[StillThePrettiest 3]

*shrug*

it may well be true that if the monthly filer threads didn't exist, then people would find another way to categorise themselves, but those threads get started for a reason, and a lot of people like them... it's a highly subjective thing to say 'they're bad', or 'they're good'; there are many people who like them, and can speak quite articulately as to why, as well as those who think they're a less than good idea... as I said above, I haven't seen ANY evidence of 'clubbiness' or any form of exclusivity (which doesn't mean it doesn't exist, of course, but if I haven't seen it in almost a year of regular visits, then it can't be TOO widespread), and another objection seems to consist of 'they didn't exist earlier', which just doesn't make sense as an argument; telephones didn't exist earlier either, and people got on fine, but now we have them, many people like them and find them useful

the objection that they can set up unreal expectations and cause unnecessary comparisons is far more valid, but there are many who manage to avoid that, and get other benefits from the threads; like many other things, that's a product of people's expectations and behaviour, not the thing in and of itself

the bottom line for me is that the July 2007 filers thread(s) have helped me to form and maintain friendships on an otherwise terribly busy and fast-moving board... it was good to be able to talk to people within a smaller subset, who also happened to be people who were going through roughly the same thing at roughly the same time

[KimandRuss 0]

I'm with you STP and Richard! Yes, you can get a support through vj itself but connecting with those who are in the same part of the process you are is a valuable asset... to me anyway and, it appears, to many others as well. I've started only one topic, when I began here last year, asking if there was a way around the denial of entry. I don't get stuck in the April board, neglect others questions, or forget that most of the information is out there somewhere. If I don't know an answer to something... I find it. I reply to others when I can. I try to help when bad information is given to newbies. (--- that does urk me the most! I mean if you don't know...dont reply!)

I can understand your point that mis information is propagated by people staying within their little groups but ultimately, I don't feel a responsibility to make sure those people have the information right. It's right there for them to find if they want it and if they dont take the time to explore to find the correct answer, it's their own fault.

I think it has everything to do with the individuals personality and their attitude regarding the journey. Some people surely take issue with the process and take it out on others. They should probably get a hobby. I know I wont make myself crazy if others in my month are approved before me. I will be happy for them. I will understand that the process is not transparent and that for one reason or another, we wait how ever long we wait. I do understand, though, that not everybody thinks this way.

[aravis227 1]

Stop comparing your case to everyone else. That's the secret bit of knowledge I'll pass on to everyone. Just ignore any and everything to do with immigration/visas.

That is SOOOOO true! I learned this lesson the hard way when I started seeing people who filed AFTER me who have already been to their interviews...I'm still waiting for my NOA2...and will be for several more months.

Once your SO is here, you can come back to VJ to stay. Then you can just compare willies or truck size rather than processing times.

What if I don't have a willy or a truck?

[erintoronto 0]

What if I don't have a willy or a truck?

i don't either! goodness... what will we do?!