NEED HELP!!! REALLY... NEED HELP!

[tashyta 0]

Tashyta,

If you find it impossible to get definite answers from your SO, it is time to change your approach. No one can make another person give serious and definite answers. In fact no one can make another person do anything. Since he refuses to give you definite answers that are crucial to your welfare, it is time for you to make definite statements about how you will respond to this situation. If you set a deadline for receiving answers and tell him, for example, that you will return to Ukraine if he doesn't give you the answers you need, then he will have to be definite. He will then either tell you what you need to hear from him or he won't. In either case you will have a definite response. Good luck!!

Grid

It doesn't work either, I did that not once! He just doesn't care, he doesn't seem to take me and what I'm saying serious. He probably thinks that everyone's dream is to live in US and I'm not exception. So I'll stay here by any means... He doesn't understand that I don't care about where to live. The most important thing for me is to be happy anywhere... and this situation I'm in now doesn't make me happy

[rebeccajo 14]

Perhaps you should set a deadline. Right now you have accrued enough overstay time that only a 3 year ban would be imposed if you leave. Once a full year has passed since the expiration of your I-94, you will have a 10 year ban once you leave. Give him a deadline that expires before a 10 year ban is incurred with enough time to leave if he doesn't meet the deadline.

Well, yasterday, when I've been talking to a lawyer ha said that I already earned that 10 year ban. And all people here are saying that right now I still have 3 years, sI'm abit confused. The good news I talked yesterday to my fiance and on Tuesday we are going to the layer to find out about my status, so that HE would hear it too.

Tashyta - Your ban depends on when you entered the country and the expiration date of your I94. I believe in your original post you said you entered in March of 2007 - is that correct?

At any rate, the ban starts ticking the day after your I94 expires. Add 180 days to that date, and you incur the three year bar. 365 days after the expiration of your I94 - that is a ten year bar.

[DerekJ 0]

Perhaps you should set a deadline. Right now you have accrued enough overstay time that only a 3 year ban would be imposed if you leave. Once a full year has passed since the expiration of your I-94, you will have a 10 year ban once you leave. Give him a deadline that expires before a 10 year ban is incurred with enough time to leave if he doesn't meet the deadline.

Well, yasterday, when I've been talking to a lawyer ha said that I already earned that 10 year ban. And all people here are saying that right now I still have 3 years, sI'm abit confused. The good news I talked yesterday to my fiance and on Tuesday we are going to the layer to find out about my status, so that HE would hear it too.

Ah, I see your posting while I was writing. It is good that you finally have him moving.

[tashyta 0]

I'm glad to hear he is going with you--hopefully he will do the right thing when faced with the facts.

I noticed you had mentioned the 10 year ban vs. the 3 year ban. I think perhaps the actual dates were not accurately calculated during the initial phone call.

overstay between 180 days and 1 year = 3 year ban

overstay of 1 year or more = 10 year ban

Your overstay did not begin to accrue until the expiration of your I-94 which should have been 90 days after entry--so you should only have about 8 - 9 months of overstay now. Enough for a 3 year ban, but short of a 10 year ban for now.

Hopefully we'll find everything out on Tuesday in lawyer's office Thank you for explaining to me the ban periods, I feel better now with 3 years

[tashyta 0]

Ah, I see your posting while I was writing. It is good that you finally have him moving.

It doesn't mean he will move, I just want him to face reall facts not what he is hoping for!

[john_and_marlene 162]

I'm glad to hear he is going with you--hopefully he will do the right thing when faced with the facts.

I noticed you had mentioned the 10 year ban vs. the 3 year ban. I think perhaps the actual dates were not accurately calculated during the initial phone call.

overstay between 180 days and 1 year = 3 year ban

overstay of 1 year or more = 10 year ban

Your overstay did not begin to accrue until the expiration of your I-94 which should have been 90 days after entry--so you should only have about 8 - 9 months of overstay now. Enough for a 3 year ban, but short of a 10 year ban for now.

Hopefully we'll find everything out on Tuesday in lawyer's office Thank you for explaining to me the ban periods, I feel better now with 3 years

You are very welcome. I hope it works out for you.

[DerekJ 0]

Ah, I see your posting while I was writing. It is good that you finally have him moving.

It doesn't mean he will move, I just want him to face reall facts not what he is hoping for!

True, given his history. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

[tashyta 0]

Ah, I see your posting while I was writing. It is good that you finally have him moving.

It doesn't mean he will move, I just want him to face reall facts not what he is hoping for!

True, given his history. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

Thank you for yur support!!! I really appreciate it!

[mariapoe 0]

I'm glad to hear that you got an appointment with the lawyer and that you and your fiance go together. I hope he'll make a right decision and, if you still want to be with him, you guys will get married and you will avoid that three-year ban. Good luck!

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Yikes, talk about commitment issues! The dude is scared to get married, no doubt about that. Since the 10yr ban soon approaching, here's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Apply for a new marriage license, set a marriage date, and tell him either you get married on this date (less than 12 months before 10yr ban would set in) or you are packing and leaving.

Protect yourself, as it seems he really doesnt care and thinks everything is just a piece of cake to fix later on.

I wish you lots of luck, you certainly have been patient with a guy like that. I commend you on that, cause I'm a control freak and wouldn't take his excuses.

[tashyta 0]

Yikes, talk about commitment issues! The dude is scared to get married, no doubt about that. Since the 10yr ban soon approaching, here's what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Apply for a new marriage license, set a marriage date, and tell him either you get married on this date (less than 12 months before 10yr ban would set in) or you are packing and leaving.

Protect yourself, as it seems he really doesnt care and thinks everything is just a piece of cake to fix later on.

I wish you lots of luck, you certainly have been patient with a guy like that. I commend you on that, cause I'm a control freak and wouldn't take his excuses.

You know, I already started to doubt that I need such husband as he is. If he behaves like that already in the beginning, I don't want to imagine what will be next...

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

You know, I already started to doubt that I need such husband as he is. If he behaves like that already in the beginning, I don't want to imagine what will be next...

Your gut is probably telling you something hon.

Live for you. I know you love him but sometimes love isn't enough.

Take it from me....I've been there.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best in all you do.

[eau_xplain 2]

I wish you luck.

And please, consider seriously not waiting until you get the 10-year bar.

[calamitka 0]

Dear tashyta I really wish you good luck.

I'm sorry but I have to tell you I do have some doubts about the future of your relationship. Usually beside love, the COMUNICATION between two people is the key, and it has just a little to do with language barrier. Clearly your fiance is not able to communicate with you because he DOESN'T listening. He choices not to.

Tashyta are you sure you want eventually raise children with him? I mean he is already taking lightly his responsibilities to you.

I'm sorry if I confuse you more I only wish the best for my fellow Eastern woman.

[tashyta 0]

I guess Tuesday will decide everything, after our visit to the lawyer! I'll see how bad my situation is and I'll decide what's good for ME!