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vj2008

what is the truth and how can i do?

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Filed: Timeline

Last week my American fiance suddenly sent an email to tell me he did not want to marry me. After he came to my country to visit me in May 2007, in September 2007 he told me he applied visa k1 for me and he sent me the copy of I-797 with the receipt number WAC-07-275-53311 to show me that he truly applied the visa k1. Then he started to talk about the rent of his apartment would rise and he wished I could help him. I thought he tried to ask me to send him money to pay his rent. I refused to send him money because I did not have dollars to send him. After he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me, I have to wonder if he truly applied visa k1 for me and if he faked the copy of I-797 to fool me. I can find WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website but I can not find his name and my name relating WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website.

Could anyone tell me how and where I can check if WAC-07-275-53311 is truly about him and me? How can I know if WAC-07-275-53311 is real?

If WAC-07-275-53311 is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

My oral English is not good, so I do not think I can call uscis to talk to them. Please help me. Now I feel I am fooled. I feel so sad that I have wasted 2 years to keep in touch with him. I feel I was so stupid to trust his sweet words about love and I was so silly to pay some money for his travel in my country. :crying:

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Pakistan
Timeline
Last week my American fiance suddenly sent an email to tell me he did not want to marry me. After he came to my country to visit me in May 2007, in September 2007 he told me he applied visa k1 for me and he sent me the copy of I-797 with the receipt number WAC-07-275-53311 to show me that he truly applied the visa k1. Then he started to talk about the rent of his apartment would rise and he wished I could help him. I thought he tried to ask me to send him money to pay his rent. I refused to send him money because I did not have dollars to send him. After he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me, I have to wonder if he truly applied visa k1 for me and if he faked the copy of I-797 to fool me. I can find WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website but I can not find his name and my name relating WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website.

Could anyone tell me how and where I can check if WAC-07-275-53311 is truly about him and me? How can I know if WAC-07-275-53311 is real?

If WAC-07-275-53311 is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

My oral English is not good, so I do not think I can call uscis to talk to them. Please help me. Now I feel I am fooled. I feel so sad that I have wasted 2 years to keep in touch with him. I feel I was so stupid to trust his sweet words about love and I was so silly to pay some money for his travel in my country. :crying:

Sorry about your unfortunate event. All I can tell you is to double check that WAC no with USCIS. Send them an email to check the status on it. If it does not exist then obviously its all drama and it will not effect you geting married to an American citizen in the future. I think either way it shouldn't hurt your case in the future. All you have to do is just tell the U.S embassy the truth. Hang in there! every thing will be fine. God has a plan for every body :thumbs:

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Last week my American fiance suddenly sent an email to tell me he did not want to marry me. After he came to my country to visit me in May 2007, in September 2007 he told me he applied visa k1 for me and he sent me the copy of I-797 with the receipt number WAC-07-275-53311 to show me that he truly applied the visa k1. Then he started to talk about the rent of his apartment would rise and he wished I could help him. I thought he tried to ask me to send him money to pay his rent. I refused to send him money because I did not have dollars to send him. After he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me, I have to wonder if he truly applied visa k1 for me and if he faked the copy of I-797 to fool me. I can find WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website but I can not find his name and my name relating WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website.

Could anyone tell me how and where I can check if WAC-07-275-53311 is truly about him and me? How can I know if WAC-07-275-53311 is real?

If WAC-07-275-53311 is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

My oral English is not good, so I do not think I can call uscis to talk to them. Please help me. Now I feel I am fooled. I feel so sad that I have wasted 2 years to keep in touch with him. I feel I was so stupid to trust his sweet words about love and I was so silly to pay some money for his travel in my country. :crying:

I logged into my account on the USCIS webpage and that account is there, it is legitamate, he most likely did file for you. If you have a copy of the NOA2 with his name and your name on it then he did file for you. It is a pretty offical looking paper and there is microfine printing on it like you would see on American money. If it is copied you may not be able to see the micro print. When I logged in it looked just like when I filed for my sweetie. I'm sorry that he has decided to not marry you. Maybe it was'nt meant to be. Under your account it reads:

On September 26, 2007, we received this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E), and mailed you a notice describing how we will process your case. Please follow any instructions on this notice. We will notify you by mail when we make a decision or if we need something from you. If you move while this case is pending, call customer service. We process cases in the order we receive them. You can use our processing dates to estimate when yours will be done. This case is at our CALIFORNIA SERVICE CENTER location. Follow the link below to check processing dates. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

So it looks like he did file. Is Sept-26 the day on your NAO2? I also see that it was touched on 1-30-08, my guess is that he called and cancelled it, or it is currently being processed for approval. I can't determine which one it is from the information. I will check back in a few days and see what it says.

Anyways, keep looking, I know it is hard sometime but don't give up and be careful. You will find the right man for you.

I'm not 100% sure but this should not affect you in any way. If they ever ask is someone has filed a petition for you just tell them yes and say what happened. I really don't even think they will ask. I don't think it will prevent you from gaining a VISA in any way if you are just honest. It will affect him if he ever tries to apply for a K-1 again.

The limitation for the petitioner(him) reads:

If you have filed two or more K-1 visa petitions at anytime in the past or previously had a K-1 visa petition approved within two years prior to the filing of this petition, you must apply for a waiver. To request a waiveryou must submit a written request with this petition accompanied by documentation of your claim to the waiver.

Don't worry you will find the right man for you some day, Dont get discouraged, I know its hard sometimes. Good luck and take care.


07-20-2007 Sent I-129F

07-24-2007 Arrives at USCIS, CSC

07-31-2007 Check is cashed Electronic NOA1 is posted on USCIS webpage

08-01-2007 Touched!!!

08-03-2007 Paper NOA1.

12-13-2007 Touched!!!

12-14-2007 Touched(Scanned to go to NVC?) Notified by email of NOA2 saying approved on 12-13-07.

01-15-2008 Called NVC and confirmed they have received my case and was assigned Case number.

01-16-2008 Left NVC

01-22-2008 Called DOS said not at embassy yet.

01-28-2008 Packet mailed by USE

03-04-2008 Medical

03-11-2008 Visa interview 6:30am

Waiting to get paperwork. Missing Police clearence from Hong Kong and Singapore. USE approved everything else. Visa will be granted as soon as this paperwork arrives. Paperwork was sent for before interview but did not arrive in time.

04-20-2008 Wow Finally got visa 235 days.

05-03-2008 My sweetie arrives in USA!!!!

Miss my sweetie constantly..............

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Last week my American fiance suddenly sent an email to tell me he did not want to marry me. After he came to my country to visit me in May 2007, in September 2007 he told me he applied visa k1 for me and he sent me the copy of I-797 with the receipt number WAC-07-275-53311 to show me that he truly applied the visa k1. Then he started to talk about the rent of his apartment would rise and he wished I could help him. I thought he tried to ask me to send him money to pay his rent. I refused to send him money because I did not have dollars to send him. After he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me, I have to wonder if he truly applied visa k1 for me and if he faked the copy of I-797 to fool me. I can find WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website but I can not find his name and my name relating WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website.

Could anyone tell me how and where I can check if WAC-07-275-53311 is truly about him and me? How can I know if WAC-07-275-53311 is real?

If WAC-07-275-53311 is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

My oral English is not good, so I do not think I can call uscis to talk to them. Please help me. Now I feel I am fooled. I feel so sad that I have wasted 2 years to keep in touch with him. I feel I was so stupid to trust his sweet words about love and I was so silly to pay some money for his travel in my country. :crying:

I logged into my account on the USCIS webpage and that account is there, it is legitamate, he most likely did file for you. If you have a copy of the NOA2 with his name and your name on it then he did file for you. It is a pretty offical looking paper and there is microfine printing on it like you would see on American money. If it is copied you may not be able to see the micro print. When I logged in it looked just like when I filed for my sweetie. I'm sorry that he has decided to not marry you. Maybe it was'nt meant to be. Under your account it reads:

On September 26, 2007, we received this I129F PETITION FOR FIANCE(E), and mailed you a notice describing how we will process your case. Please follow any instructions on this notice. We will notify you by mail when we make a decision or if we need something from you. If you move while this case is pending, call customer service. We process cases in the order we receive them. You can use our processing dates to estimate when yours will be done. This case is at our CALIFORNIA SERVICE CENTER location. Follow the link below to check processing dates. You can also receive automatic e-mail updates as we process your case. Just follow the link below to register.

So it looks like he did file. Is Sept-26 the day on your NAO2? I also see that it was touched on 1-30-08, my guess is that he called and cancelled it, or it is currently being processed for approval. I can't determine which one it is from the information. I will check back in a few days and see what it says.

Anyways, keep looking, I know it is hard sometime but don't give up and be careful. You will find the right man for you.

I'm not 100% sure but this should not affect you in any way. If they ever ask is someone has filed a petition for you just tell them yes and say what happened. I really don't even think they will ask. I don't think it will prevent you from gaining a VISA in any way if you are just honest. It will affect him if he ever tries to apply for a K-1 again.

The limitation for the petitioner(him) reads:

If you have filed two or more K-1 visa petitions at anytime in the past or previously had a K-1 visa petition approved within two years prior to the filing of this petition, you must apply for a waiver. To request a waiveryou must submit a written request with this petition accompanied by documentation of your claim to the waiver.

Don't worry you will find the right man for you some day, Dont get discouraged, I know its hard sometimes. Good luck and take care.

Just to add in there his name and your name should be on your I-797, but no there are no names printed on the USCIS web page. Check to see if Sept-26 2007 is the date on your petition. I'm guessing he did file and changed his mind. The only way to really know is call the USCIS.


07-20-2007 Sent I-129F

07-24-2007 Arrives at USCIS, CSC

07-31-2007 Check is cashed Electronic NOA1 is posted on USCIS webpage

08-01-2007 Touched!!!

08-03-2007 Paper NOA1.

12-13-2007 Touched!!!

12-14-2007 Touched(Scanned to go to NVC?) Notified by email of NOA2 saying approved on 12-13-07.

01-15-2008 Called NVC and confirmed they have received my case and was assigned Case number.

01-16-2008 Left NVC

01-22-2008 Called DOS said not at embassy yet.

01-28-2008 Packet mailed by USE

03-04-2008 Medical

03-11-2008 Visa interview 6:30am

Waiting to get paperwork. Missing Police clearence from Hong Kong and Singapore. USE approved everything else. Visa will be granted as soon as this paperwork arrives. Paperwork was sent for before interview but did not arrive in time.

04-20-2008 Wow Finally got visa 235 days.

05-03-2008 My sweetie arrives in USA!!!!

Miss my sweetie constantly..............

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Last week my American fiance suddenly sent an email to tell me he did not want to marry me. After he came to my country to visit me in May 2007, in September 2007 he told me he applied visa k1 for me and he sent me the copy of I-797 with the receipt number WAC-07-275-53311 to show me that he truly applied the visa k1. Then he started to talk about the rent of his apartment would rise and he wished I could help him. I thought he tried to ask me to send him money to pay his rent. I refused to send him money because I did not have dollars to send him. After he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me, I have to wonder if he truly applied visa k1 for me and if he faked the copy of I-797 to fool me. I can find WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website but I can not find his name and my name relating WAC-07-275-53311 on uscis website.

Could anyone tell me how and where I can check if WAC-07-275-53311 is truly about him and me? How can I know if WAC-07-275-53311 is real?

If WAC-07-275-53311 is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

My oral English is not good, so I do not think I can call uscis to talk to them. Please help me. Now I feel I am fooled. I feel so sad that I have wasted 2 years to keep in touch with him. I feel I was so stupid to trust his sweet words about love and I was so silly to pay some money for his travel in my country. :crying:

:o that is really a sad story :(:( In my I-797 it shows my name and the petitioners name, case type,receipt number and date, notice type and the petitioners address. If he sent you a copy of I-797 it should have had those information .

:( He is not so right for you. But, look at the brighter side, i know someone ( not personally though) who suffered worse than your case. Not only that the man fled and not marry her, he took with him pictures of her which he posted in an adult website and of course he gained money out of it. So, BE CAREFUL next time. Don't be fooled with lies. This thing happen for you for good reasons (F) Just keep praying for the right man to come to your life GOD BLESS YOU. :innocent:


MY JOURNEY

* March 26,2008- Leave Philippines

* March 28,2008- POE GUAM....nice people...IMMIGRATION very accommodating...good ,friendly people

* March 28,2008 - Arrived Orlando, Florida

* April 02,2008- Apply SSN

* April 18,2008- BRIDAL SHOWER

* April 20,2008- Rcvd my SSN

* April 26,2008- MARRIAGE

* April 28,2008- Rcvd my Marriage Certificate Documents

* April 28,2008- Change my name to my married name SOCIAL SECURITY OFFICE

* May 01,2008- Got 2 Bank Accounts

* May 05, 2008- Rcvd my SSN with my married name on it

* May 22,2008- Got 2 Credit Card Accounts approval

* May 23-28,2008- Visit Alabama,Mississippi and Louisiana

7061.gif

* May 31,2008 - Mailed my EAD- I-765

* June 04,2008 - Notice Date Rcvd

* June 09,2008 - NOA arrived (PROBLEM:My first name spelled incorrectly)

* Aug. 02, 2008- Rcvd a USCIS letter that they corrected the typo error

Fast Forward...

FEB 12,2011 - SUBMITTED I-751 APPLICATION TO VERMONT SERVICE CENTER

FEB 22,2011 - RECEIVED NOTICE OF ACTION ON I-751 APPLICATION

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Filed: Timeline

Thank you for all the answers, especially for AZ. You are so nice to me. Now I feel better after I read all the replies. Yes. on the copy of I-797, there are his name Kris Matthew Lebeau and my name. But it is just a copy. He refused to send me the original paper of I-797. I know it is easy to make a fake copy. Computer can make a fake copy very easy. The bad thing is I can not find his name and my name with WAC0727553311 on uscis website to make sure. I do not know what is NAO2? I never heard of NAO2 before. He did all paper work for me. He told me I just needed to sign my name on the forms that I needed to fill and sent the forms to him, he would fill the forms for me because he thought he could write in English better. I followed his idea to do everything. I really do not understand why he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me. The following is the email he sent to me to tell me he did not want to marry me after he and I engaged more than half a year.

Dear Lily,

sorry it has taken me so long to write to you, but I've been trying to think about the best way to tell you this. I'm happy we met and have become great friends but I can not marry you, it is not right for me. I understand any choice I make could be the wrong one, so I hope this is the right one. This decision affects two peoples lives, that is why it has been a difficult one. You are a beautiful person and I hope you won't hate me. I think you will be sad and angry with me and I'm deeply sorry for any pain you will feel. I'm so happy you have found good work, I was confident you would... Please stay in touch with me.

your special friend,

Matthew

I feel very sad that he treats such serious engagement on federal files visa k1 as he plays a game. When he came to my country in May 2007, I was busy for work, so he asked me to quit my job to travel with him in my country. So I quited my job to be his free guide to make him have a happy travel in my country, even I paid some fee for his travel. That was why he said in his email that he was so happy I had found good work. I think I find another job might reduce his guilty feelings. I refused to keep in touch with him as his special friend. I think sooner or later I will meet a good man and get married, there will be no man who would like to see me to keep in touch with the man who had relationship with me.

Now it is hard for me to sleep very well. I know there must be some right man waiting for me in the future. Next time, no matter who I will marry, I will not apply visa k1 again. I will get married in my country.

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:o that is really a sad story :(:( In my I-797 it shows my name and the petitioners name, case type,receipt number and date, notice type and the petitioners address. If he sent you a copy of I-797 it should have had those information .

:( He is not so right for you. But, look at the brighter side, i know someone ( not personally though) who suffered worse than your case. Not only that the man fled and not marry her, he took with him pictures of her which he posted in an adult website and of course he gained money out of it. So, BE CAREFUL next time. Don't be fooled with lies. This thing happen for you for good reasons (F) Just keep praying for the right man to come to your life GOD BLESS YOU.

:innocent:

I know this sounds rash (and off-topic), but maybe people can learn something from the many cases like this. If someone offers you something (in this case, green-card) and wants adult-oriented pictures in return, that should be a red flag!! Putting yourself in that situation is asking for trouble...

Anyway, you should contact the Department of State or USCIS about your case. Don't bother with email; they never reply. Just make sure you cancel the petition as soon as possible!! This shouldn't affect your eligibility for a future K-1.

On a more personal note, I'd caution anyone against finding a life partner based on his/her citizenship... Don't mix love with a desire for personal gains. Love is just the opposite. Love is when you no longer care about yourself, but rather, only care about your partner.

Cheers

--Jesse G.


Love timeline:

??? 2003 -------> Started chatting regularly, became good friends

Nov 2004 -------> Fell in love

Jan 2006 -------> Met (in person) for first time

Apr 2008 -------> Wedding

Jun 2008 -------> Closed on house together

K-1 timeline:

Jun 11, 2007 -------> I-129f sent

Mar 20, 2008 -------> Visa in hand

AoS/EAD/AP timeline:

Apr 26, 2008 -------> Wedding

Apr 28, 2008 -------> Filed (forms mailed)

Apr 30, 2008 -------> Forms received by USCIS

May 06, 2008 -------> Cashed check posted to account

May 10, 2008 -------> NOA1 received for EAD, AP, and AoS

May 10, 2008 -------> Biometrics appt date received

May 28, 2008 -------> Biometrics for EAD & AoS

Jun 11, 2008 -------> AoS case transferred to CSC

Jul 05, 2008 -------> AP Approval

Jul 09, 2008 -------> EAD approval

Jul 14, 2008 -------> EAD and AP received

Jul 17, 2008 -------> AoS approved (card production ordered)

Now for my obnoxious signature Meez©:

0605_10033471973.gif

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Im curious. . .did you send him documents from your end? Example, in a K1 petition, you need to sign a Biographic Information to send with his K1 petition. If you did send him documents, the petition is probably real.


Removal of Conditions :

August 16, 2010 - Petition received by USCIS Vermont Center

August 20, 2010 - NOA1 received

October 4, 2010 - Biometrics

January 3, 2011 - Permanent 10 yr. Green Card Received.

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Thank you for all the answers, especially for AZ. You are so nice to me. Now I feel better after I read all the replies. Yes. on the copy of I-797, there are his name ___________ and my name. But it is just a copy. He refused to send me the original paper of I-797. I know it is easy to make a fake copy. Computer can make a fake copy very easy. The bad thing is I can not find his name and my name with WAC0727553311 on uscis website to make sure. I do not know what is NAO2? I never heard of NAO2 before. He did all paper work for me. He told me I just needed to sign my name on the forms that I needed to fill and sent the forms to him, he would fill the forms for me because he thought he could write in English better. I followed his idea to do everything. I really do not understand why he suddenly told me he did not want to marry me. The following is the email he sent to me to tell me he did not want to marry me after he and I engaged more than half a year.

First off, not to be rude or mean, but why are you posting personal information on a public interned discussion board? We do not need to, nor should we know the name of your fiancee and your case #. :o The truth is, that one should only be using the USCIS online system to check on their own case. As people have told you earlier in the thread....that WAC# is an actual case...and that is all you will find out because of privacy laws.. USCIS does not put petitioner and/or beneficiary names on their online system for this very reason, to protect our privacy. If your ex-fiancee sent you a copy of a I-797C, Notice of Action, you saw his name, your name, and your case #, it means he filed this petition on your behalf. I doubt someone would go through all the trouble of duplicating a federal document, only to trick you.

I'm sorry that your fiancee ended the relationship with you....somewhere along the line something hapenned that changed his mind about wanting to marry you. An expensive choice to make, as it costs $455 to file a I-129F petition, so he must have a pretty good reason for ending his engagement to you. I doubt that it was an easy decision....and filing fees paid are not refundable.

I feel very sad that he treats such serious engagement on federal files visa k1 as he plays a game.

Nothin you can really do...the petition is still pending, and as you are not the USC petitioner, you can't do much. I think it is only the person who files the petition, can withdraw it. You can contact USCIS via letter, reference your case #(the one you're plastering all over here) and inform them that the underlying fiancee relationship for the petition no longer exists. They may or may not note your letter, but I doubt they'd cancel the petition as it is not you who originally filed it.

What is your real source of concern here? Your first post contained a federal document identification # and a question from you:

If WAC-07-***-**** is real and if he does not cancel it after he does not want to marry me, what will happen? Will this make trouble to me when I want to get married with another American man in the future?

See the section I bolded? Is this your real concern, that if someone files a petition on your behalf it prohibits someone else from filing for you? So then perhaps your special friend M had some real concerns after all? :whistle:

-P


funny-dog-pictures-wtf.jpg

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

Why when people just end their relationship, do they immediately talk about "can I apply for another K1 to marry another American/Foreigner"? I don't get it....

That'd be the least of my worries if my relationship ended.


11/2004 - Met in Brazil

09/2006 - Apply for K1

03/2007 - K1 approved

04/2007 - Apply for AOS & EAD

07/2007 - EAD approved

01/2008 - Conditional Residency approved

11/2009 - Apply to remove conditions

02/2010 - Permanent Residency approved

11/2010 - Apply for Citizenship

03/2011 - Citizenship approved

07/2011 - Moved back to Brazil

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Why when people just end their relationship, do they immediately talk about "can I apply for another K1 to marry another American/Foreigner"? I don't get it....

That'd be the least of my worries if my relationship ended.

Yes, I found it quite odd....that and the OP's posting personal info all over this thread, I'm not sure what she's getting at? :unsure:


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Filed: Timeline

I really hope this thread doesn't degenerate into attacks on the OP. This is a sad situation, and she's reaching out for help. She shouldn't have posted his name and the receipt number, but it's also possible that she just didn't know. Not everywhere in the world has the privacy laws and/or the desire for privacy that we in the US have. So let's just lay off and hopefully a moderator will come by and remove that info.

As for why people ask how it will affect their eligibility in the future? It doesn't strike me as an odd question to ask at all. People like to keep their options open, it's that simple. Let's not read too much into personal motivations and just answer the poster's questions.

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I really hope this thread doesn't degenerate into attacks on the OP. This is a sad situation, and she's reaching out for help. She shouldn't have posted his name and the receipt number, but it's also possible that she just didn't know. Not everywhere in the world has the privacy laws and/or the desire for privacy that we in the US have. So let's just lay off and hopefully a moderator will come by and remove that info.

As for why people ask how it will affect their eligibility in the future? It doesn't strike me as an odd question to ask at all. People like to keep their options open, it's that simple. Let's not read too much into personal motivations and just answer the poster's questions.

By that same token, there are two sides to every story, and we've only just been told one side. The sadness of the situation aside, help was given to the OP in the form of an answer to her original question,(see post #3) was ther WAC# an actual case,...then she went on to post personal and private info in the form of the petitioner's name and their communication. At the very least, its tactless....just MO.

-P

Edited by Paula&Minya

funny-dog-pictures-wtf.jpg

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Filed: Timeline
By that same token, there are two sides to every story, and we've only just been told one side.

The only side of the story we need to be concerned with is the OP's. The other side of the story is irrelevant.

The sadness of the situation aside, help was given to the OP in the form of an answer to her original question,(see post #3) was ther WAC# an actual case,...

It was good advice. It also needed to stop right there.

then she went on to post personal and private info in the form of the petitioner's name and their communication. At the very least, its tactless....just MO.

I saw nothing to indicate that it was posted maliciously. Posters are often berated around here because they don't post enough information, so all I saw was someone who wanted an answer to her question and was supplying as much info as possible.

As I said, I agree it wasn't the best judgement to post personal info, but again, many countries are not as sensitive/fanatical as we are in the US about private info. A quick one-liner saying it wasn't a good idea would not have been out of order. Speculating as to the motivations behind the OP's questions *is* out of order..."tactless" you mgiht say. She came here looking for help, not to be judged.

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