So is the marriage working?

[j_hunt_12 0]

Yeah most the people here meet online I can see and then meet once before filing the visa. No problem for me.. I find it quite legit, but I met my love and we were together for 4 months first (LDR just started) :(. I'll see her again and maybe after a year or so get engaged and start the process. But I'm scared shitless about promising to marry that quickly, I love her to death but still. Just curious about how everything is working for those who didn't know each other long and have been married for a while. It just seems like a lot would get divorces really quickly after finally getting to live together. I'm really not trying to be a downer-I strongly believe in crazy love stories... just curious

P.S. this site is amazing. It's going to be so much help when we do decide to go through this dreaded process.

[Jesse and Hema 2]

Those fears are common, even for local relationships! I think a lot of VJ'ers are intelligent enough and certain enough to know what they're pursuing. I think all the immigration BS is kind of an "acid test" for the relationship, too... If both are willing to jump through all these hoops, there must be something...

[gwenneh 7]

When you know, you know.

We met, got engaged, and were married within six months - most of that was a LDR.

We will be celebrating our second wedding anniversary in a few weeks and life couldn't be more blissful.

[Cassie 8]

We are part of your demographic: met online in January, met in person in April and May (during which visit we were engaged), filed for our visa, saw each other in person 2 times while waiting, received it in October, got married in November. That was 3 years ago.

One of the benefits of a long distance relationship is that you are forced to communicate to keep the relationship going. We talked a lot, and about everything under the sun. It made things easier -- not completely smooth, but much easier. No matter what, transitioning into marriage and finally living together in one place is hard work. We have committed to the hard work and we're doing pretty well if I do say so myself!

When you know, you know.

I used to think that when someone said that statement was a crock of #######....... until I met Jerry.

[Frank+Jocelyn 1]

I know this doesn't sound very romantic, but I think that only about 25% of it is about finding the right match and 75% is just good old hard work and dedication.

If you are attracted to each other and committed to the relationship then you can make it work. You are not passengers back in seats 65A & 65B. You are pilot and copilot and you decide together if the plan flies or crashes.

Marriage is not about taking a chance; it is about two people making a decision and then sticking with that decision.

[~Chad~ 0]

My marriage is going great! <knock on wood> But I had those same fears too!

[j_hunt_12 0]

Columbia S.C!!!!.... Your from my city dude... small world.. Even though I'm now in the republic of Georgia and my girlfriend is in the U.S. .. haha such a wierd situation. anyways thats all a bunch of help... I like that 75% rule... anyways, still got a lot of time to think about it... thanks

[j_hunt_12 0]

but the question is still up... wanna hear some more stories

[Scott & Lai 12]

We met online in August 2002, met in person and got engaged February 2003, met again in person June 2003, then filed the K-1 papers. Took almost a year to get the visa. I went to HK to be at the interview with Lai in May 2004, then went back to bring her here with me in September. We married in October 2004. We're doing great, and wouldn't have done anything differently

[Jenn! 918]

We knew each other for about a year and a half when we got engaged, and almost three years by the time he got the visa and were married. For me, things went a little bit faster than I would have considered ideal, but it's all worked out in the end. We'll be celebrating our second anniversary in a few weeks.

I've seen lots of couples here with strong relationships who did not know each other for a long time before starting the visa process. It's not for everyone, but it can work.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

We didn't meet online, nor get engaged/marry after just one meeting.....

but yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's workingggggg !!!!

[JODO 2]

So far so good! He is just amazing

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Ask me again in 10 years.

From what I've read about divorce rates, there seems to be no correlation between how long a couple is in courtship and divorce rates. There are countless personal experiences of couples who've been married for 40 or 50 years, who remember the moment they first laid eyes on one another and thought, "That's the person I'm gonna marry." I don't think there's any magical formula for picking the 'right' mate, but rather it's what the two people are willing to make out of the relationship. I don't think people should jump into marriage with blindfolds on, but you could spend a lifetime getting to know your spouse and still not know them completely.

[Cloudy9 11]

Just curious about how everything is working for those who didn't know each other long and have been married for a while. It just seems like a lot would get divorces really quickly after finally getting to live together. I'm really not trying to be a downer-I strongly believe in crazy love stories... just curious

We met online in Jan of 2001 through a mutual friend. We were all into D&D online gaming and got talking through that. In April I went to the states for vacation to mutual friends place and met Daryl in person. We clicked and had a great time. After my 2 weeks there was up I continued my vacation to AZ to meet another online g/f. I kept in touch with Daryl through yahoo. He also was stationed in AZ and came to visit me at my g/f's place. He had the ring with him, proposed and we got married the next weekend after knowing each other for only 5 months!

We will celebrate our 7 year anniversary this coming May and we have two girls one aged 2 1/2 yrs. and the other is now 13 months old.

Joanne

Edited December 30, 2007 by Cloudy9

[yassmine2878 1]

I think its more about how much effort youre willing to put into the marriage, not how long you've 'dated'. My husband and I carried on a LDR for a year before we even filed for the K-1. The whole process is a test of a relationship. Not just the waiting for them to get here, but even after they arrive there's some serious culture shock to deal with. It all boils down to how bad do you want to make it work. There were days I was ready to pack my husband up and send his tookus right back to Morocco, but we toughed it out. I think its important for both parties to lay they cards (and fears and expectations) on the table and discuss it all openly. You're about to get on the world's craziest roller coaster, so its okay to scream, just dont jump off unless you know there's a big fluffy mattress below you. Just my $.02