*sigh*

[mojothedestroyer 0]

He's supposed to be happy and loving that I'm here, and that we're married.

Instead, he forbids me from going anywhere without him because he's too worried about me.

I have to nag him to help with chores or anything else.

He doesn't really care about the paperwork because I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of it, even though I need his taxes to finish it up. This part, anyway.

He's paranoid about me doing one thing wrong, like sneezing.

Everything is a huge, negative deal. He flips out over the smallest thing and everything is always bad.

He has to ask his father's opinion for everything.

My parents are here this weekend and I'm about 5 seconds away from asking them to take me home with them.

[Cdnwmn 0]

I'm sorry for what you are going through and wish I knew what to advise you. How was he when you first met and up until the time you married? Have you had any heart to heart talks about his behaviour? What has he said?

Hopefully someone here can advise you properly. Good luck!

[Fandango 1,439]

I'm not excusing his behavior, but maybe he feels like he's protecting you? Sure he's going about it the complete wrong way, but if it's done out of love, then you two can overcome it.

When you first live with someone, there is a huge adjustment period. You two just have to find your balance maybe?

Good luck!

[ddurkin 0]

Be sure to tell him how you feel...otherwise stuff gets bottled up until its too late to work things out nicely. sometimes all it takes is a good heart to heart. Good luck.

[Girona40 0]

He's supposed to be happy and loving that I'm here, and that we're married. - I'm sure he is happy, very happy.

Instead, he forbids me from going anywhere without him because he's too worried about me - aaah that's rather sweet. Better than my husband sending me to the 7Eleven for beer, the minute I arrive!! lol

I have to nag him to help with chores or anything else. - He's a male isn't he?

He doesn't really care about the paperwork because I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of it, even though I need his taxes to finish it up. This part, anyway. - Just ask him for his taxes - I'm sure he will be more than happy to just give them to you. I know if I was doing the paperwork for the USCIS stuff my husband would provide me with everything willingly, along with a huge glass of wine!!

He's paranoid about me doing one thing wrong, like sneezing - Is sneezing wrong then?

Everything is a huge, negative deal. He flips out over the smallest thing and everything is always bad. - Wasn't he like this before? Perhaps he is worried about the responsibility that goes along with being married. Some couples don't think about that part!

He has to ask his father's opinion for everything. - I wish my husband's father was still alive for him to do just that - maybe then he wouldn't make so many mistakes! lol He is just wanting his Dad's opinion, after all he has been around longer and his son values his Dad's thoughts.

My parents are here this weekend and I'm about 5 seconds away from asking them to take me home with them. - Perhaps you ought to be telling your husband that! He may realise just how miserable all this is making you.

Really, you need to talk to him and clear these things up - if you sit and stew over this the problems, as you see them, will only get worse. Talk to him!

Edited February 3, 2006 by Girona40

[lovenlife 0]

He's supposed to be happy and loving that I'm here, and that we're married. - I'm sure he is happy, very happy.

Instead, he forbids me from going anywhere without him because he's too worried about me - aaah that's rather sweet. Better than my husband sending me to the 7Eleven for beer, the minute I arrive!! lol

I have to nag him to help with chores or anything else. - He's a male isn't he?

He doesn't really care about the paperwork because I'm the one who's supposed to be taking care of it, even though I need his taxes to finish it up. This part, anyway. - Just ask him for his taxes - I'm sure he will be more than happy to just give them to you. I know if I was doing the paperwork for the USCIS stuff my husband would provide me with everything willingly, along with a huge glass of wine!!

He's paranoid about me doing one thing wrong, like sneezing - Is sneezing wrong then?

Everything is a huge, negative deal. He flips out over the smallest thing and everything is always bad. - Wasn't he like this before? Perhaps he is worried about the responsibility that goes along with being married. Some couples don't think about that part!

He has to ask his father's opinion for everything. - I wish my husband's father was still alive for him to do just that - maybe then he wouldn't make so many mistakes! lol He is just wanting his Dad's opinion, after all he has been around longer and his son values his Dad's thoughts.

My parents are here this weekend and I'm about 5 seconds away from asking them to take me home with them. - Perhaps you ought to be telling your husband that! He may realise just how miserable all this is making you.

Really, you need to talk to him and clear these things up - if you sit and stew over this the problems, as you see them, will only get worse. Talk to him!

Girona40, do you have a sister??????

Edited February 3, 2006 by lovenlife

[Marilyn. 340]

yeah, you should talk to him about all this.... us women sometimes think that men should just automatically know how we feel but they usually don't, they need to be told sometimes

[Girona40 0]

"Girona40, do you have a sister??????"

Well, if I did she wouldn't be interested in a smooth-talker like you!!! lol

Wait 'til I get you home!!!

[Jaylen Brit 0]

FORBIDS??

What is he your dad?

He's your husband - you are his equal - he can't forbid you to do JS..he can ASK..

Chores - if he wont help then stop doing them - you're not HIS mom any more than he's your dad...you are PARTNERS

As for the flipping out - make sure he's calm and ask him what the deal is - he must have some 'bottom line' he's stressing on..like the 'worst case scenario'..get him to tell you what it is.

He shouldn't be pushing you away like this - cos even if he doesnt INTEND that, thats what'll happen

*hugs to you Shannon*

[daisy16 0]

This is a tough adjustment for both the USC and the beneficiary.

do you have or need your AP? Perhaps a quick trip home would help give you both some perspective.

[Kajikit 65]

You're still in the adjustment stage... it's a big change to go from being single to being married and it takes time to sort out your relationship, like who'll do what around the house. You need to sit down and calmly talk about it... does he even know HOW to cook, clean or wash clothes? Or did his parents take care of all that for him before you got married?

[raymaga 25]

Adjustment period or NOT, this is unacceptable behaviour!!!!! I would be gone back to Canada so fast, his head would spin.

It isn't going to get better before it gets much much worse. You don't deserve to be treated that way, and by putting up with it, you are only condoning his bad behavior. Talk to him and demand that he change the way he is treating you, or else you are returning to Canada.

I can't even imagine being treated the way you describe...... I think the USC should be very patient, respectful, caring and loving when their SO arrives from their foreign country. It's hard enough to move away from home, without being treated badly when you arrive in the arms of the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else.

Good luck.

[Fandango 1,439]

Threatening him that you're leaving is not the way to go...#######? With all the chew we here have to go thru to be together, it seems completely ridiculous to me to always have the 'cut and run' as an option. I'm not referring to just here, but I am always baffled as to how easily these things are thrown about...that's kinda why the divorce rates are so high.

Eh, I'm off on a tangent...back to topic:

I'm not saying stay for the rest of your life in misery...but this is marriage...it requires work! And certainly during an adjustment period, the smallest things will be blown out of proportion. To the OP, you need to sit down with your husband and find out what's going on. And no, he can't TELL you what to do.

But it seems to me there's a communication issue here, and threatening to leave is the last thing I'd do..

jmo

[TracyTN 237]

"Girona40, do you have a sister??????"

Well, if I did she wouldn't be interested in a smooth-talker like you!!! lol

Wait 'til I get you home!!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Peggy 1]

Thats to bad your going thru that. You have only been here for a little over two months.

I agree with other's about talking to him. Its hard adjusting.

I wouldnt leave just yet. You really havent gave it much of a chance.

Where is it that he wont let you go. Do you live in a big city or something?

Enjoy the weekend with your parents while they are there. Is he like freaking out over everything that goes on in your house. Just wondering how he is acting now that your parents are there?

Good luck to you what ever you decide.