mazra

WOW. Actually if I hadn't been thinking beyond I as you put it I would have left years ago...but you know nothing about that as you know nothing about me or my situation.
Why would 'they' give me trouble traveling on VW for a holiday if I have done everything correctly by handing in my greencard and filling in the correct forms (which is why I posting here in the first place)?
As for future people who come into my life who may just die if they didn't get to live in the US...not everybody has a hankering to leave their country and way of life for America you know.
I have read a few times you spouting off about getting citizenship and 'selling' it....not sure what you are going on about there.
As for a projected pissing match between the pres the premier and no longer being able to travel on VW.....oh well guess I'll go on holiday elsewhere 'shrug'
Finally, you may find my "POV narrow-minded and short-sighted." but I'm actually seeing very clearly thank you very much.
Obviously you love it here and America has been good to you otherwise you spout this kind of ####### whenever someone makes a post about leaving....maybe you didn't read my post well enough where I said all my family, friends and work are in the UK, why on earth would I stay here?
I did not marry my husband for an opportunity to live in America or to give anyone else the opportunity to live here off my back....
My thanks to those who actually answered the question I asked, it was very helpful....I am leaving next week so will sort the form out as soon as I can

And you would be wrong, like always. You tend to make a racist/backwards statement, claim you are pro choice, then call anyone who calls you on it a racist. So once again I have to school you:
Affirmative action was created to give minorities a chance to make it since back when it was conceived. Because everyone knows(except you) that being black or brown meant you had to fight three times as hard just to get behind. Personally, I wish we didn't have it, you should be judged on the merit of you actions, not the color of your skin.The guy who didn't want a black nurse for example, what was his reasoning for wanting a white nurse? DId he see the black nurses qualifications and deem her unfit to take care of his child? Did she do something wrong and he felt uncomfortable? No, he saw she was black. He's a racist, pure and simple.
So, what did we learn in class today kids? Here is the definition of Pro choice: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pro-choice it doesn't give you the right to choose one person over another because of that person's skin color. That is called, wait for it, discrimination.

Firstly, thanks for the "Groundhog Day" NN - it was you who first replied to my first post 5 years ago. And once again, massive thanks for the info. And guys, she's not really Mary Poppins - she likes to drink, enjoys loud rock music, and says "c**t" a lot, which makes her "practically perfect in every way!"

That's funny I wouldn't be on an internet forum saying your son was wondering in the woods and nobody knew that he had left. That's called child neglect and endangerment. Not knowing where your 2 year old is, isn't something to be proud of. I can pretty much guarantee the number of people who would think the worse parent is the one who let a 2 year old wander through the woods, rather than the one who had a 17 year old that was bad at knowing the names of streets.

[quote name=' timestamp='1361580305' post='5998249]Your wife is a homosexual?
Does that mean you have a #######?
And did you just tell us she swallows?
No, it means that his wife was not born a woman.

Your wife is a homosexual?
Does that mean you have a #######?
And did you just tell us she swallows?

No, the Ukrainian woman likes the new life in a better country. The older white American man... is just the bitter pill one must swallow. Yes, they swallow.

Crime involving moral turpitude.
Actually none of that is true. I respect you trying to help, but I feel that in situations like this, unless you really know what you're talking about, then your advice is of little value and may actually offer false comfort - which can make matters worse.
Thanks anyway.

how far and wide are you going to throw the 'slippery slope argument"?
it isn't anymore unhealthy to be homosexual than it is to be heterosexual. how about living, as someone who lives - i will certainly at some point get sick. lets charge more for getting sick!
wait - we already do that..

Are you on welfare yet? Wasn't that supposed to happen at the beginning of the year? Curious as to how that's going.

what does this have to do with being duped? can you not read the article? find out exactly what is going on, what is being proposed?
i don't know why in the world anyone would be up in arms about it costing more to smoke. smoking is just flat out stupid and the more people who quit because it's too expensive, the better. this whole 'slippery slope' nonsense is ill crafted spin.
i quit smoking when they got up to five bucks a pack. one of the best decisions i ever made, i hope as many people as possible make the same choice.

On form DS-230 Question 41: Have you ever been charged, arrested or convicted of any offense or crime?

No LIVE trace means there are old crimes that have expired. The USCIS want to know about every crime, expired or active. You have to be honest and tell them about everything. It's up to them to decide if it's relevant or not.

as an american woman, i'd just like to throw this tidbit wall of text out there..
while there is only a six month age difference between my husband and i - we definitely, most certainly, married for his green card. we wanted to live together because love each other. i couldn't uproot my son and move to canada and we both couldn't go back and forth for just visits. we wanted the three of us together. immigration dictated the marriage requirement so we had to get married in order to get what we wanted - the green card, so we could live and be together.
i don't really see too much of a difference between our relationship and the couples with huge age differences that marry for mutually beneficial conveniences.
what throws people off with the men looking for young hot women, is a general distaste for superficiality. everyone knows that tight bodies will age. all hot young women are eventually going to get older, not that getting older is any less sexy or loveable. but hearing men speak of primarily seeking out something superficial that is going to degenerate and lose it's luster, for me, as a woman, i get the urge to jump to defend the sexiness and beauty in women of all ages, sizes, and backgrounds. if you base your search for love on strictly superficial standards you're only selling yourself short and setting yourself up for a fall, imo.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are hilarious and that statement is ridiculous.
We'll start with something simple. So if a woman is 100% of Filipina background, but born in the United States, she is not comparable to a Filipina born in the Philippines?
More complex: if your spouse received citizenship, would she instantly turn into some kind of horrid American *thing* that needed to be traded in more a more exotic version? Because with citizenship, she would be one of those not comparable American women.
Your love of exoticism and prejudicial stripes are showing, sir. If I were a Filipina woman on here, especially one who had a daughter, citizenship, or any plans to move to the US, I would be insulted. I think that would cover just about all of the participants since it is an immigration forum. Gd forbid you have a child, especially a female child, with your wife and she ever find out just how inferior you feel she is.
I'm married to a Jordanian everywhere, not just in a Philippines forum-- since we're sharing.

Sorry to read your story.
'I'm wondering if I can get another one from the Philippines after I divorce'
Interesting wording...like a commodity? I should imagine looking for 'another one' should be the furthest thing from your mind right now.

It is possible to say something positive about one woman without denigrating another.

I love when people do this. Come on the internet to tell other people on the internet that they have better things to do with their time than ... be on the internet?

Yesterday in one thread in P&R, there were over 600 visitors. Very weird.

Yet you found time to post that.

Before we resume regular programming, I would like to thank you for giving me the benefit of the doubt and not just removing the 'offending' comments. Hopefully this little exchange of ours proves to be a 'teachable moment' for our ESL friend who reported me. Context matters. Whether the discussion involves shorthand expressions (like it does here) or dog whistle racial comments not immediately obvious to the non-native reader, context matters.
Thanks again!

I'm so glad I read this.. I don't really have anything to say about it or any comments on it right now. But thank you so much for taking the time to write it.

Thank you everyone who has answered this post so far, and shared experiences and given advice. I still feel like I'm walking in a dream, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around what has happened. I'm just a normal guy.. I wasn't wired for this.
I have read each and every post here, word by word and line by line. Thank you so much all for the support, sharing your own stories and the insight. This isn't a matter of forgiving alone, it's a matter of forgiving and forgetting. I can't really begin to think about that now.
I tend to believe things happen for a reason. And I believe what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. That's what I tell everyone else anyway when they're going through something similar - Slightly harder to believe when on this end of things. I read Si man's post over and over again. Had a looooong walk with our roommate last night. Spoke to my mother back home (although I haven't told her what happened, just that something isn't right). I've decided on one thing.. I'm not going to go home just yet. I did not go through a year of immigration hell, just to get here, and throw in the towel 6 weeks later. That would be such an utter and complete waste of everything. The way I see it, my country will always be there, and if I leave now, it's the last nail in the coffin.
I'm taking the maven's advice however to step back a bit from the marriage and take a hard look at myself. Try to rebuild myself. I have a very difficult time seeing this work out, whether for me or for us, if I don't try to at least stand on my own two feet first. I'd like to look at this, unbiased, from the outside, before I even think about the idea of reconciling.
From an ROC standpoint - I really don't care about that at this point. If it does come down to it in the future that I'll have to ROC with a waiver, I'll deal with that then. I just like to know my options are open. I am not, no way going to stay with her simply to make ROC easier.
My wife is still sleeping at a coworker's house. We're having lunch today.. I'll keep you guys posted.

:thumbs: :thumbs:
Cheating is the lying, the sneaking around, the broken trust, the lack of concern for your spouse's feelings, the choosing another person over them, etc.
The sex is just the mechanical thing that goes along with all of that. It is like the cherry on the sundae of lack of respect and trust.
That is the real difference between let's say having an "open" marriage and cheating.

But it's not about sex - cheating is way more than just sex and somehow you refuse to acknowledge it. People cheat on each other without having sex with another person and it hurts as bad as they would...

You seem to be taking two very different issues and crowbarring them into the same debate. Protecting your family and the issue of trust and respect are not the same thing at all. It's fantastic if a person would take a bullet for their wife (wouldn't we all), but if she's more than happy to sleep with other people then you have to question if she'd really do the same back.
They wouldn't be fatherless just because a couple split up - your reasoning is a bit of a slap in the face to all of those that are no longer together, for whatever reason. Would you not support your children even if you were no longer with your wife? And I like how you blame the person cheated on for marriage break-ups, rather than, y'know, the person who cheats. Bizarre and again, you don't have the right to question them or the choice they make after being betrayed.
You don't have the right to say this in such a generalised manner. And I can't speak for anyone else, but your thinly-veiled "I love my wife enough to die for her. If you break-up over this issue you clearly don't love her enough" approach is extremely lame.
With your particular stance I hope you don't give anyone ideas.