TJ01212011

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

No you're NOT petitioning USCIS to permit her to become a CPR. SHE is applying for USCIS to change her status from K1 to conditional LPR. The I-864 is a sponsorship form. Your FIANCEE was the beneficiary of your petition. You petitioned for permission for HER to apply for a visa. Now SHE is here on a K1 visa and is now your wife. Your wife is applying to change her status from K1 visa to conditional LPR.
The I-131 and I-765 state nothing about you. The I-751 and N-400 have a section where you affirm that you're still together and happy. But you're not needed. She can file without you, there's just a section where you CAN be included.
The I-485 only needs evidence of co-mingling. Yes this means you need to add her to bank accounts and other stuff but you're basically just the husband and sponsor. She can also apply for I-485 without you (in certain circumstances).
Changing the wording from "beneficiary" to applicant EXPLAINS the process. This is HER process, not yours. You seem obsessed with the idea that this is about you. That you are being so benevolent in permitting her to AOS etc.

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

Darren,
You know what? I was accused of being a gold digger too, that I only after my husband's money and citizenship, that I only want to get my a$$ to US to have a better life. I was accused not once but many times, not only his family but his friends too...some even accused me that right in front of my husband's face, but u know what he said? he said, who cares, he doesn't care what other people say, important is "us", loving and respecting each other. we know what is true so why bother to go around and try to force ourselves to be accepted by those people who don't like us.....my husband was disowned by his family and his friends cut him off too. when we got married, it just the 2 of us and the judge but we are the happiest couple that day. we don't have family nor friends here but we still happy. everyday is happiest day for us because finally we are together....
Just like what other said, move on, dude! I know how important family is, but u already have ur own family now. take care of them. cherish them. don't try to prove anything to anybody. just prove to urself that u are man enough to stand up for wife and for ur kids. Don't let Gretchen regret her decision of marrying u....help her, support her. instead of learning her language, let her learn ur language. Enroll her to an ESL tutorial. Help her grow up, to be independent......
no offense meant and I don;t want to insult u or anybody here but dang man, reading ur posts makes me appreciate my husband more and more....
TJ.
PS Life is too short for BS, man!!!! Live it up instead, enjoy it w/ ur wife!

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

This is an absolutely disgusting to talk about your wife's virtue. I think Gretchen should SLAP you in the face.
I personally find your behavior, mentality, perspective and bafoonery amazingly idiotic.
Gretchen, your husband says you read these posts... if so, then why are you letting him behave this way? Why do you let him expose intimate details about you? Don't you feel embarrassed?
IMHO, you should suspend his posting privileges until he learns to behave like a gentleman.

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

I think Darren doesn't really need any advise or any input from any of us, I think all he wants is to show how he can control/manipulate everyone's life -- his wife's life, his family, and perhaps his ex too..... because everyone here has the same good advise yet he still posting..aaahhhh... I don't know...sounds scary for me....sounds not normal....no offense meant...

Darren,
You know what? I was accused of being a gold digger too, that I only after my husband's money and citizenship, that I only want to get my a$$ to US to have a better life. I was accused not once but many times, not only his family but his friends too...some even accused me that right in front of my husband's face, but u know what he said? he said, who cares, he doesn't care what other people say, important is "us", loving and respecting each other. we know what is true so why bother to go around and try to force ourselves to be accepted by those people who don't like us.....my husband was disowned by his family and his friends cut him off too. when we got married, it just the 2 of us and the judge but we are the happiest couple that day. we don't have family nor friends here but we still happy. everyday is happiest day for us because finally we are together....
Just like what other said, move on, dude! I know how important family is, but u already have ur own family now. take care of them. cherish them. don't try to prove anything to anybody. just prove to urself that u are man enough to stand up for wife and for ur kids. Don't let Gretchen regret her decision of marrying u....help her, support her. instead of learning her language, let her learn ur language. Enroll her to an ESL tutorial. Help her grow up, to be independent......
no offense meant and I don;t want to insult u or anybody here but dang man, reading ur posts makes me appreciate my husband more and more....
TJ.
PS Life is too short for BS, man!!!! Live it up instead, enjoy it w/ ur wife!

Frankly my fiance and I are both worried and sad for Gretchen. I am amazed to be reading this drama and yet watch it all day. Gretchen will never understand this mess you brought her into, your family and religious beliefs as a fundamentalist Baptist that strictly follows the bible word for word. Your religion, Family and church does not accept anyone from outside or other religions. I am afraid you will be strict with her such as clothing, what she wears, does and socializes. I am afraid she will not develop educationally, socially and culturally. And your bring a baby into this mess. What are you trying to prove. I believe you did this for all the wrong reasons. I hope Gretchen reaches out to a confident and friend. How about you let Gretchen talk on this forum without you.

hmmmm I can relate w/ Darren's situation but us is different...
ever since I know that my husband's family doesn't approved me. They even disowned him because of me but even so, I still want him to contact them especially his parents. I've been telling him to contact them. I even asking him if he wants us to visit them but his always answered, i'm his family now and he knows how they are. he never wants to see how will they treat me. he never allow them to hurt me. I told him I think I can accept however they treat me, important is, they'll see that we are willing to get along w/ them and hopefully they accept me as part of their family eventually because no matter what, they are still his family.
Anyways, have a merry xmas everyone and a prosperous new year too...
Good luck to Gretchen and Darren and congrats to the pregnancy....

i beg to disagree with the underlined statement. just coz you were exposed to some pinoys who knew nothing about saving, it doesn't mean that we, Filipinos, are all the same.
While growing up, we were taught to save as much as we can from our daily allowance/"baon" so if possible, we won't have to bother mama and papa for our next day's baon. We were taught that if we buy soy sauce in big bottles (in liters), we can save more. If we iron our school uniforms, etc all at the same time, we save more energy which means parents will pay less for electricity use. That if we buy veggies directly from the farmer (no middleman, no transport cost, etc) we save more money plus we get the best of what they have. As Pinoy kids grow, they are encouraged to have piggy banks where they can save their extra money (and save for emergencies). Some parents would open a bank account for each kid to teach them at a very young age to save up for their future (college tuition, car, etc.) As you grow older, you will be taught more and learn more about saving. When i was in HS i had to save up for those things that i wanted which are not in my mom's budget list. Mom would say, "if you want them so bad then you have to save up for them." We were taught that thru saving, we have a chance of getting those things that we want. NEEDS are more important than WANTS.
You must also understand that basic financing and accounting are part of HS curriculum and you won't graduate without learning a thing or two about saving. In college, you will have a comprehensive/extensive financing and accounting knowledge depending on the course/degree you pursue. but the problem is, when you were here in PI you were only exposed to people in her barrio who are most likely uneducated (i assume most of the adults only finished grade school). so now i ask you, please, never assume anything. never generalize.
How Gretchen and her family handle their finances gives me an idea of their educational background and how they were raised when they were kids. This is basic, fundamental thing that should have been instilled in their brains while they were growing up. This should have been taught at HOME as well. So obviously, the school is not at fault here. And then again, remind yourself, these are people from the barrio. what do you expect?!
next time you come here, don't just focus your attention in her barrio. talk to other people outside her village. for you to get the general picture, you need to explore more... and discover more...
but of course there are Pinoys who will always spend more than they can afford... who are living way beyond their means... it is a fact. No one's denying that.

Dude, when I had my medical there were Americans, Canadians, Australians waiting outside for their fiance/es/relatives/friends but I never heard any complains from them because they know the policy and they maturely follow the policy....

I suggest to the OP to better stop the bragging, he just making himself sound and looks like a C -C ........

Why not try to be complaisant first? U are filipina and u know filipino culture, once u married the son, u also married the whole family. I think, u better adjust for ur husband, rather than trying to get him adjust for u. They are right, once u showed to ur in laws that u are not a treat, eventually they will treat u right. Try to see things in positive ways. Such as, don't think that they try to manipulate u and ur husband, instead try to think that they just want what best for u both. and about the joint acct and not being his beneficiary, for me that's superficial. What is important is u and ur husband, loving and supporting each other, in bad times and good times....
sorry if I butt in, I know I don't have much of experience about this....just trying to help...

I have a filipina friend who live in Hawaii who also married a filipino USC, they have been in Hawaii for 10 years... if you see her right now, you will not think that she went through a lot with the in-laws before... she said that in the early stage of their relationship she was struggling so much she almost gave up... but she keep on bravely... she works, never complain and just let things go...i think everything slowly change when the in-laws did not see her as a threat, she also reached out to the in-laws making them feel comfortable that she is not competing with their son's attention... and i guess when you start to have kids... this will greatly help. Right now, they have a small business of their own, their own place and 3 kids.
I am guessing that you are a young couple? This is the reality of marrying of young man, you have to be part of their growing up... This is also very common in the Philippines... sons will always be their mom's baby, same way as daughters will always be Daddy's little girl... actually, its not only Philippines... You said you are working right? Concentrate on your work, start a hobby... like I said things will fall in place at the right time in the right place... we are famous for being "matiisin", survive!!! your husband need your support too... understand also his situation of being in the middle of it... his mom and aunt might be a source of stress for him... and you are also a source of stress for him... you cannot make him turn around 360 degrees by pushing him to understand how you feel... stay with him and be supportive... he will come out of it soon enough.
God bless!

yep, I agree.....
I don't know if just me or what, but I feel afraid for his girl......I read several of his post....most of them were out of context.....sorry, I know this isn't the issue....but dude, reading his post makes me want to cry for the poor girl....

Darren,
first, congrats to the success of ur 2 hectic days. and sorry to hear about ur disability but i just wonder, if u are almost blind how come u saw the guard who urinated 6 feet away from u.....?
cheers