Ameristralian

I am nice and big, six foot tall and six inches long.

I am always allowing ladies to get on top. That is how nice I am.

my pants is always open for you.

I am stiff with anticipation.

These are my favorites!

O Canada, can we have Alberta?

Canada's oil sands could rival Saudi Arabia's vast reserves as a source for oil. And even if we don't annex, investors can buy a piece of the action. Consider these 4 companies.

By Jon D. Markman

Last month, Canada threw out its namby-pamby liberal government and ushered in a new era of conservative rule. Thank goodness for small favors. Now when we run out of crude oil and natural gas down here in the United States, we won’t have to invade our neighbors to the north to make sure the lights stay on. We can just arrange a friendly annexation.

O Canada! We love your beer, your funny accents, your flag with the botanical theme. Now be a dear and just let us have Alberta. Hey, it’s just one province. You have nine more, plus three territories. You can keep the ones named after a dog (Labrador) and an SUV (Yukon) and all the rest. We just want the one with those nasty, dirty tar sands. We’ll practically be doing you a favor.

Why the tar sands? It’s not just that it sounds like "Tarzan" after a couple of Molsons. (Funny, eh?) It’s just that, well, we think all that sticky, gooey mess up in the Athabasca region is North America’s answer to Saudi Arabia, as I explained back in mid-2004. And most of North America is already chez nous anyway, as they say in Quebec. So hand it over. Or else.

Stable, with a capital C

You may have heard that President Bush, in his State of the Union address last week, mentioned that the U.S. must slash its dependence on oil from “unstable nations” in favor of cute little science projects like ethanol, nuclear plants and solar panels. But surely you knew that was sort of an inside joke. Most of those projects are a decade away from viability.

What he really meant was that we’d rather strip-mine our BTUs from the perfectly stable Alberta tar pits, which are so close to home that they might as well be ours.

Federal energy officials figure U.S. oil imports from Canada will almost double over the next 20 years, to 2.7 million barrels a day from 1.6 million. That would go a long way toward cutting our imports of Mideast oil to 3 million barrels a day from 6 million. But it’s only a start.

It’s a little hard to believe, but the tar sands in Alberta -- also sometimes called “bitumen,” which rhymes with vitamin -- hold 175 billion barrels of recoverable oil. That rivals Saudi Arabia’s reserves, and would help get us well in a hurry. Might as well call it Vitamin T.

Scientists believe another 315 billion barrels will be recoverable when new technology comes online, which would expand Canada’s conventional oil reserves by a factor of 70x. If that works out as expected, Canada could ultimately produce as much as 25 million barrels of oil per day and leapfrog ahead of Iran, Mexico, China and Norway to become one of the world’s top three energy producers.Canada

However, it isn’t expected to come within 20% of that level even within the next 20 years due to the difficulty of production.

Worth taking?

It’s little wonder that Alberta opened up an office of its own in Washington recently, headed by former energy chief Murray Smith. All the easier to negotiate a peaceful surrender.

To be perfectly frank, you’d think that Canada would be happy to be rid of it. Tar sands may represent up to two-thirds of the world’s entire stockpile of oil, with most of it in Alberta and northern Venezuela. But the fact that every Canadian does not live like a sheikh is testament to the plain reality that it’s really hard to turn the stuff into useful energy

First you need to strip-mine it from deep in frozen ground with enormous bulldozers and cart it away with gigantic dump trucks. And then you need to blast it with steam to separate the oil from the sand and clay, an operation that demands a vast amount of water -- which is not particularly plentiful -- and pricey natural gas. It also leaves behind a big, mucky mess, much to the chagrin of anyone who cares about the environment. It also emits a lot of greenhouse gases and destroys boreal forests and bogs.

Then, when you’re done, the oil is very heavy and “sour” -- unlike the sweet, light crude oil of West Texas and Saudi Arabia -- so it is hard to transport by pipeline, and even then can really only be used for diesel. And the plants are subject to a lot of hardships, such as the lack of skilled labor, the breakdown of the heavy machinery and a worldwide shortage of the sort of super-sized tires used by the mining trucks.

Victory, without firing a shot

If our play to put the Great White North under the Red White and Blue doesn’t work out -- and maybe it shouldn’t, come to think of it -- we could always just invest in the top tar-sands companies. The top Canadian oil sands pure plays rose more than 200% on average in 2005, and there’s probably still a long ways to go. Companies with a lot of exposure to oil sands will generate tremendous free cash flow for at least 20 years, judging from the current estimates of reserves and rates of production, even if they have to invest another $10 billion or more to get the job done. The projects break even when the world crude-oil benchmark is at $20 per barrel, or one-third the current price.

One of the top names up there is Suncor Energy (SU, news, msgs). The company did $8 billion in sales and earned $782 million over the past 12 months, which was good for a $35 billion stock-market capitalization. But a lot of investments the company has made in tar sands are just coming on line, so the turnaround in earnings power has been fantastic. It earned $1.75 a share in 2004 and $1.98 in 2005, but it expected to earn as much as $4.85 in 2006 and $5.40 in 2007. Put a price-to-earnings multiple of 20 on the latter number, and you could be looking at a $100 stock in 18 months, up from $78 today.

Philip R. Skolnick, an excellent analyst at Genuity Capital Markets, likes Canadian large-caps Nexen (NXY, news, msgs), Encana (ECA, news, msgs) and Canadian Natural Resources (CNQ, news, msgs) even more. He figures that they have 27% to 60% of their future values locked up in oil sands. I’ll skip over his earnings estimates for each, and just note that they imply price targets of $78, $57 and $74, which are 20% to 40% above current levels.

So if turns out we can’t take 'em, you might as well buy 'em (or pieces of 'em, anyway). This is going to be a long, long secular story: something like investing in Saudi Arabia in the 1940s. But I really do hope the State Department works out a friendly merger with our neighbors on the Athabasca plains one day, if for no other reason than it will give us a chance to shout, “Tar nation!”

Fine Print

The nice thing about ribbing our neighbors to the north is that they have a great sense of humor; I'm kidding about the annexation, but not about the opportunity and the stocks. … In the United States, innovation is primarily focused these days around creating a better Internet search engine. In Canada, the smart kids are trying to figure out how to suck bitumen out of the ground faster. Check out the technology of OPTI Canada here. The company trades on the Toronto stock exchange. … To learn more about the oil sands of Athabasca, read here. …The Western Oil Sands site has some nice pictures of strip mines and extraction equipment. …You can learn all about the mighty and historic Syncrude project at the Nexen site. …Suncor explains itself here. …Encana also is a major play in coal-bed methane, explained here.

Jon D. Markman is editor of the independent investment newsletter The Daily Advantage. While he cannot provide personalized investment advice or recommendations, he welcomes column critiques and comments at jon.markman@gmail.com; put COMMENT in the subject line. At the time of publication, Jon Markman did not own or control shares of companies mentioned in this column.

source: http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/P138885.asp

"How are you goin'? I love that so much more than What's up, or whatever.

Oh no Karo, you gotta take out the word 'are' in that phrase. It's "How ya goin?"

Go Pack go!! My avatar is me walking out onto the Frozen Tundra!

Never mind I was thinking Pittsburgh more.

hail? wow thats scary! never seen it. but i have 'the day after tomorrow' in my head right now. yikes! just take it easy out there.

this weather is nuts. today the high in philly was 65, and we're just coming off of a freakin' blizzard. by the weekend, it will be lows in the 10-20s again.

someone please go and stop global warming... its really starting to piss me off!

I bet our storm is headed your way in all reality. Hopefully you will just get some rain though. It's just a small patch here that hailed, so no worries. Maybe it'll just go due east.

White Castles? No way dude, that won't help her gain weight. They slide right through ya!

Aw mate this weather is nuts. It's cold outside now. I knew tomorrow it'd drop but I didn't expect it to happen like that! I didn't get hit with any hail out here in west county...but apparently it was just five miles away from us. I gots me insurance anyways. Last hail storm I was affected by was in 2001, when it hit North county. I lived in fLorissant at the time, and I got a check for $7,000 for damages to my car. Stupidly, I didn't invest it. I bought a new car. Stupid. I wish I could get that check again. Oh well.

My idea. I have a house and dog and steady career. She was a traveller, lived with parents, and a cat. My dog was younger so she came here. But like Karo, Oz calls us. We will return in less than a decade.

Sean you're almost more of an aussie wanna be than I am - and I'm bad

I love it.

I'm eating lunch now - hopefully that will help.

I knew a guy from somewhere right outside of St Louis once - he reminds me of you - his name was Matt

Matt must've been a cool mo fo.

Yeah I am training myself to comform to their ways in Oz. Av a go ya mug. Fair dinkum. Are you taking the piss outta me? I can't be bothered. Yeah I say everything they do at some point in the day.

Good point Karo. I usually scold the dog when she pulls that #######, but maybe I shouldn't worry.

Bear in mind, restaurant toilets are usually disinfected every day after closing by the custodial staff.

Home toilets are not. Well, at least not mine. More like once a week. And I'm not sure that it makes that much of a difference if a toilet has two people dumping in it or twenty. Maybe it does but I'm not sure.

You people and your good points! Alright back to the original stance, no toilet for you dog!

And I gotta be honest...my dog gets filtered britta water. I'm an idiot.

so you were only geeky in your college years, sean?

Oh without a doubt. As soon as I was out of school, I became charming, sophisticated, and desirable. In 2002 I was in the top 50 for GQ's perfect man award.

No seriously, I am still a geek but I simply know how to hide that side of me, which results in the above mentioned qualities. However, I only hide the geek side like once a month or so.

Good point Karo. I usually scold the dog when she pulls that #######, but maybe I shouldn't worry.

Time for a geek flashback moment of mine:

10 years ago, when the game first came out and was popular, my buddy and I played this game religiously. Of course, it has its appeal to young men because of lara croft, and the movies kept it real with Angie Jolie playing that role. Well, the game consists of puzzles and ####### and things you have to do, and one time while playing, I accidentally did something that made her say "No" in that sexy British accent. Well, my friend then walks in the room, and seeing the perfect opportunity, I say out loud, "Is Aaron (friend) a cool mother f**ker?" and I re-did what I did on the game, and Lara answered "NO". To this day, we still laugh at that little joke.

And that concludes my flashback to geeky college days.

As for that chick, I sure hope she can act. Riiiiight.

i'm nauseous. I don't know why. I think I'm hungry.

Get some food then! I need more coffee myself. Cheers!

Thanks, guys, for all the advice. I've finally calmed down a bit and we had already decided on the plan of action for today. Unfortunately, I HAVE to go to work today (can't afford to lose my job with hubby not able to work anymore), but Johnny is going to march down to the doctor's office and demand they make it right. He is also going to try to get them to write something that admits that they screwed up. (good luck, right?) And then he is going down to USCIS with a letter I typed up titled "Motion to reconsider" that states exactly what happened, and give them the new correct documents. He is going to TRY to talk to someone (you know how they are down there) and ask them what we need to do to make it right. We figured if all else fails then, I am calling a friend of mine who works for an immigration attorney and asking advice... I'm calling my congressman, and if nothing else works we are going to contact the media. The local stations here have great sections on the news called things like "you paid for" and stuff like that. I'm willing to go as far as I have to go to get someone to notice this case and get it fixed. Especially since we've done EVERYTHING right and legal and here a USCIS approved doctor screws it up for us. BTW, we got the doctor's name directly from our interviewing officer, she gave us a list of the "approved" ones.

I hate to play that "i'm pregnant (whine) " card... but if I have to I will. It won't hurt that I'm very obviously pregnant when it comes to getting people to at least feel sorry for us.

I'm going to try to keep this on the first page so that if anyone else knows anything they can see it. Plus, hopefully people will read this and at least be wary of the "approved" doctors that USCIS sends them to. If I've learned anything at all in the last 24 hours, it's this: DEMAND to see the paperwork before they seal it up.

Hey I'm late on this but call Charlie Dooley, he's the county executive that took over for Buzz Westfall. Maybe he can help. His number is 314-385-9148 and that's his home I believe. Maybe find his office number somewhere. Hope things are going well.

Ok, I figured it out!

Whoops. didn't mean to hit submit!

Anywhoo...the math bit is what the clue is....pretty much any number once you do the math winds up to be a multiple of 9...and if you look on the chart, the multiples of 9 are all the same symbol...and that symbol resets itself every time

gotta clarify: multiples of 9 from 81 and below

This is an old trick, I haven't seen it for awhile though. Like you said, 81 and below, but when you do the math, that's the highest number you will get to start with. 99 = 9+9=18 99-18 = 81...so you can't even end up with a number above 81 for your answer.

Yes I did Lorelle, thank you SO much - as always you are SUCH a blessing to this board. I went back and read and I think that was really a SA problem.

I spoke with Karen (Kajikat) yesterday as she is from VIC also and she said her cert was just a letter like Stewart's. In addition, after some "Coaching" stewart did, indeed, find the watermark...

How would men get through the day without women? I just don't know!

I am so ready for you to get your case finished and get over here!!!

Hey now! I'm a man, and I know how to find watermarks! Har har.

Yeah my job is not much fun right now, so it's sarcasm. Stupid work. I just can't leave. Too many bills. Too nervous to find out what's out there for someone like me. I need to get some cajones and go demand a raise. It's been over 2 years now!

To any Ozzies.........Are the police certificates from NSW all sent to the embassy. Im the sole VJ CR-1'er from Oz and sometimes I get a lil lost lol .......I can still get my police certificate done before the petition hits the embassy though right....or do I have to wait to get the packet??? I have downloaded the forms and filled them out already, ready to make an appointment in the next week or so for fingerprints so can get it over and done with. Any light on this would be appreciated.

Lorelle

You shouldn't have any issues getting the police cert. done ahead of time. Same with the medical. If you already have a case number, that helps with the medical. Which packet are you waiting for? I guess the original one...but you already got the forms online.

I'm there but forgot how to change my setting now.

See if you can find where my 750th post was at. Ha.

Why not. This forum has not had any posts in the last two days, so I will give it some love. And my 750th post. Oh joy.

Good on ya. Be patient with him.

747! I'm an airplane!

never mind I'm 748 now.

Craig needs to get himself a bat. Perhaps a big ol' sword or some sort. If I see someone with a sword, it commands respect. I would definitely not put up with that kind of ####### at home. Get a big bear trap, that'll stop them nice and quick.

LOL - I'm sorry, but this reminds me of the famous scene from one of the Indiana Jones movies

(Raiders of the Lost Ark, I think) where Indy comes across a skilled swordfighter, but instead of

engaging him in a swordfight, takes out his gun and shoots him dead.

Classic.

No, we dont have a gun and I've never believed in them, but I am starting to wonder..... it is awful being afraid to be in your own home.

I really appreicate the kind words.

Seriously, if it persists obviously call the po po. Maybe they can have a squad car drive by a few times during the night and catch the azzhole.