jjbandero

We only provided emails containing their reactions to our engagement announcement 

Hi welcome! 

If your fiance is on active duty and may be called away, then depending on the support structure you will have in place in the state he is moving to, having a K1 may really limit your ability to do things. In addition to not being able to work, in some states, you may not be able to get a license right away either, and it may not be possible to use your Australian license. For example, I live in California, and the rule here is that if you become a "resident" of the state ("resident" is not clearly defined), you have two weeks to get a California license. I believe people have been stopped by the police and tried to explain that they were not a legal resident for immigration purposes, I don't think that worked. You should also look into health insurance, as a K-1 person, I'm not sure if your fiance is able to add you to his insurance plan prior to you getting married, and whether you can purchase short-term travel health insurance to cover you until you are married in the 90 day window. I'm not sure what your plans are for work, while you definitely not work until your status is adjusted, even looking for work may be tough. Employers will typically ask if you are legally able to work in the US, if the answer is "not yet", it's difficult to get to the next round, unless you have highly sought after skills, employers would not hold a position open and wait. 

Best of luck!

It's common for employers to perform a background check, depending on the qualifications you are claiming and the position you are applying for, they may also run an educational background check to confirm e.g. that you actually went to the university you stated etc. For work experience, most likely they will just ask questions at the interview to gauge whether you know what you're talking about and possibly talk to your references. 

If you do end up getting rings and intend to wear them, I highly recommend the "comfort fit" style. The bands are designed to be slightly domed/rounded on the inside of the ring so it rests comfortably against your finger, when sized correctly, you will barely notice the ring is on

Could you not go to the person/entity that paid your husband for his work to find out how much was paid? 

Just a thought, how smart is this online form? Do you have to insert a number or will it accept letters as well? If so, could you just put "na" and let it take you to the page where you state "not a US citizen"?

3 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

One thing to consider, since it sounds like the ex is the father to at least one of the kids. If that is the case she may not be able to move just anywhere. 

 

Do you have it in your custody agreement that you can move and even cross state lines? I know a few ppl who had no clue they couldn't move to the next city without their ex's permission. 

 

If you can indeed move I'd start looking into programs for the care you need for your child. Then start looking at what assistance is offered in that area. Facebook group for the health needs your child has would be a good start to find resources. 

Really sensible advice here, you don't want to just move without checking if you can, it could get you into legal trouble. If you are able to move, then you can make a list of factors that are important to you and your kids such as, good disability social services, employment prospects, safety, availability of public transportation, cost of living etc. to help you narrow places down. What kind of work are you qualified to do? 

Just want to point out that if you get a co-sponsor, make sure they know what they're signing up for i.e. they are on the hook for financial support until you have worked for 40 quarters, becomes a citizen or dies. You definitely want to find someone who understands and is willing to do this, the last thing you want is someone who is not clear on the requirements and decides to pull their support at the last minute. 

Sorry about what you're going through. The advice below regarding the camera is great, some states do not allow you to change locks to lock out a spouse, but putting a camera by the door should be fine. We have a camera that is motion activated, it streams a video of whoever approaches the door and records clips. If she is roughed up while you're at work, you not only have witnesses stating that you're at work, you will have a video of her returning to your house after she already got injuries.

4 minutes ago, rcripps said:

That's good there has been nothing to accuse you with. You are right though. She can have someone rough her up if she wanted to go down that route but a lot of times that backfires on them. Not sure if it legal to change the locks, especially if she is on the lease nut it's a thought, close the joint accounts, stop paying for a cell phone if you are. Heck, post a video camera outside your home and meet her outside if you need to. There a lot of fine lines in this situations. The idea is though, don't give her any future chances to accuse you of anything. Maybe she does just want to go home and this is her way of doing it. If so, let her go. I would say counseling but if she's done a 180 then not much you can work on.

In the interest of sharing for anyone who looks at this thread later, while I've never had a problem traveling with the extension letter and expired card, some airline personnel are not familiar with the process so it required additional discussions with their supervisors etc. I think Canada border crossing is very low risk for this type of issue, however, for others, best to leave yourself ample time in case the airline needs to do their checking.

Cheers

You can do a will online in about 30 minutes, it does not have to be complicated. If you really don't have much else, you can have your in-laws write an affidavit stating that you are living with them as tenants and include when you started living with them. We also got a little creative with collecting mail that was addressed to us that showed the same address, in particular, we liked "official" mail e.g. jury summons (both my wife and I received them, even though she is ineligible to serve since she is not a citizen), Social Security statements. Lemonslice's advice is excellent, you should follow that.

Best regards

My finished file was about a stack of papers 2" thick, given that everyone's situation is different, here's ours for reference:

• We had no major red flags - my wife was in the US on valid work visas prior to us getting married, no significant differences in age, socio-economic background, religion, education etc.
• We co-mingled finances even before we got married
• We had a variety of evidence both financial and personal

During AOS, the interviewer was particularly interested in our financial evidence, for ROC we continued to collect paperwork in this vein:

• Mortgage
• Joint tax return
• Car insurance
• 401K
• Other insurance
• Credit cards
• Savings account

We did not submit every statement received, just every 3-4 months or so to show there was continued co-mingling and activity.

Best regards

I also vote for having the baby in the UK. Pregnancies can be quite unpredictable and going through a stressful immigration process on top of it is unhelpful. My wife was having an uneventful pregnancy (even traveled internationally in her 3rd trimester), but towards the end, her blood pressure spiked and our baby had to be induced in order to protect them both. It is not worth the risk to try and rush through the K1 process. Additionally, even if you were able to get insurance coverage, some doctors will not want to take on a new patient so late in the pregnancy, and finding a doctor with hospital privileges close to you/preferred hospital is another complication you wouldn't want to have to deal with.

Best of luck

I don't know what your work situation is, or how easy it would be for you to get another short term visa to live/work in the UK for six months. Assuming you can do all of that (it's really not that hard, way easier than getting any of the immigrant visas to the US), DO IT!!!. Do it now, or at least start the process now so that you're there and set up long before the baby is born. You'll want to be with them when the baby is born and for the first few months anyway. The earlier the better, because as I'm about to explain, you''ll want to be there for at least six months.

Next step: get married. Doesn't matter if you do it before the baby is born or after, but you'll need to do that before you file anything. The reason you want to do that before you apply is twofold. First, I130 is cheaper and faster than a K1. If you do a K1, you've got to wait at least six months, mine took nine. then, after she moves here, you've got to apply for adjustment of status, and pay another huge amount. You've got to get married within 90 days, then she can't work or do much of anything until the AOS clears and she becomes a permanent resident. My AOS took six months, and I basically sat on my ####### the whole time, very depressing. Second reason is you can do a direct consular filing. DCF for I130 will cost you about half as much as the full K1 process, and take as little as 6 weeks (versus the nearly 18 months total it took me to get my PR). She'll become a permanent resident immediately, and you won't have to deal with the US service centers, only the consulate in London.

The requirements for a DCF are that you must already be married and you must both be living in the UK for 6 months before filing. I found out about this option the day I put my then fiancee (now wife) on a plane back to the US from Sydney to wait out our K1. If I'd learned this 24 hours earlier, I'd have had her stay and do it this way, and if I'd known the K1 and AOS would take as long as they did, I'd have told her to come back. If you were hoping to have a US wedding, have a small ceremony in both countries.

As far as the baby is concerned, you definitely want the kid born in the UK. I think the UK is like Australia, in that if you're born there you're automatically a citizen, if you're born elsewhere you have to do a full immigration application. It's gonna cost us about 3k to get our son his Australian citizenship, but if he'd been born in Australia it would just be a cheap registration of foreign birth to get him US citizenship. Then, as everyone else has pointed out, the NHS is a million times better than having a baby in the US without health cover.

In short, go be with your partner and baby in the UK right now, and then bring them here with a DCF for her and a US passport for the bub.

Hi,

I'm just curious about the $3K you quoted for getting your son his Australian citizenship, I thought the current application cost is AUD230 for Form 118? https://www.border.gov.au/Trav/Citi/pathways-processes/Application-fees-forms-and-appeals

Thanks

Your unexpired green card allows your re-entry into the US, it has nothing to do with your income earning activity. Unless you have an outstanding arrest warrant for tax evasion, you are all good to go, just make sure you have your GC when you travel and don't stay out too long.

Cheers

If the child is not legally yours,I doubt any insurance plan would allow you to insure her as your daughter. You can however, help purchase separate insurance for her if you wish (since it was not required under your divorce).

We also included more "official" letters that showed that we had the same address e.g. jury summons, social security statements. You should also consider sending your packet by registered mail to reduce the risk of the mail getting lost.

Cheers

First of all, congratulations on getting through the painful paperwork process!

While I did not come to the US under the same circumstances as you (I had a work visa), I do understand the anxiety associated with the unknown and unfamiliar. I arrived in the country by myself with two suitcases and only knew the three people who interviewed me for the job. I can say that everything was not as difficult as I thought they would be, but there are things that still surprises me after more than 10 years, the key for me was to acknowledge what I didn't know and find someone who knew what they were doing and ask for advice.

My personal opinion on your in-laws pressuring you to support your family is that while they are family, your nuclear family comes first and their opinion matters more. For example, how does your husband feel about you being stressed and looking for work? Does he think he should work immediately too? What plans has he put in motion? Will your kids need more time to adjust? what if they need to be close to one or both of you during this period of transition? I think you should have an in depth conversation about how each of you feel about the plans or formulate a plan and a backup plan if you don't already have something in place. Perhaps include your children too, if they are old enough to express their opinions. Have you tried budgeting already? Do you know how long you can go without having a job? The key is really making sure that the two of you are on the same page, and if possible for him to be the buffer between you and your in-laws, pushing you harder will not help you get a job (it will only add more stress), helping you research, build a network of assistance would be more useful.

Best of luck!

Hey VJers,

I am 2 weeks away from flying out to the US and I very ambivalent about it.
The reason is my mother in law has been pushy to a great degree about me getting a job there to feed my family.

They have been amazing and I do mean AMAZING in helping us out but I am afraid I will let them down if I don't get a super job right away.

Nobody understands my feelings. They are all starry eyed about the US thinking gold flows in the streets. They have no idea at what a bottom level an Immigrant starts from. I have a teaching degreet which I come to find out might not meet the American standards so I might not be able to teach. (I don't mind being an aide though )

I am suddenly very scared of being in a foreign country with 3 small kids and no job. My husband hasn't worked in 15 years and his parents keep telling me how this is really bad in the US and how this makes him hard to employ and how I must be the one to tackle this issue.

I can't even drive in th US. Even my driver's licence is useless!
Nobody understands here!! All they see is the pretty house waiting for us. They don't realize that said "pretty house" has bills and taxes and maintenance etc.
There is no such thing as a freebie!!

I am terrified of failing there and having nowhere to go.
My husband and I have a strong marriage but I fear this might put a strain on our relationship.

Please wish me luck in finding a job!! We are going to a "good" area with 4% unemployment rate.

Share your stories with me please especially if you were scared too!!

Those many who are awaiting their first GC, have Advance Parole. This is not the same as just stamp. By the way, this stamp is for people who are already granted residency, not who just entered the country, unless they won the GC lottery.

I think I understand what you're getting at, it's not the US CBP you're concerned about, I also had a stamp in my passport, this was because I was issued with two NOA documents with different numbers, to avoid confusion, USCIS gave me a stamp as well. When I traveled with the stamp, the only issue I encountered on multiple trips was with an airline from where I was departing from, I can't recall which one it was, but the ground staff was very hesitant to let me board for the US without seeing my Green Card. I understood it was because the airline could be on the hook for taking you back if you are not admitted into the US. What I did was ask to speak to a supervisor and after multiple discussions and calls (I have no idea who they spoke to), they let me board. I'd suggest that you bring copies of your support documents with you, and make sure you allow ample time for additional discussions before your flight.

You can certainly withdraw directly from an ATM, this is what I typically do when I travel, it is convenient and safer than carrying a lot of cash on you. However, know that depending on the bank you have an account with, the bank in the UnionPay network that you're withdrawing through, there could be extra fees, for example, you bank with bank A in China and withdraw from bank B in the US:

• Bank A may charge you a fee
• Bank B may charge you a fee
• Both banks could charge you fees
• If one of the banks goes through a third intermediary bank, there may be another fee incorporated in the exchange rate that is applied
• You will also not know the exact exchange rate as ATMs generally do not provide any information on exchange rates, you get what the rate is at the time of the withdrawal, unlike going to a bank directly to exchange a fixed amount

I agree with the posters who said you needed to show evidence spanning the two years, you can also explain why your financial arrangements changed. I don't think you need to show 100% joint accounts, my husband and I both contributed to a joint account for home expenses, and neither of us were putting anything even close to 50% into it, we were approved without RFE or interview.

Good luck

I agree that you can find any kind of people anywhere. Problem is, it seems like the number of jerks working for CBP is way higher than at any other average job. I don't know if it's required for the job to be like that, if they don't really choose the right people or if no one wants the job and they take whatever they can get.

Agreed, it's probably not the best of jobs and I venture to say that the training is not great either. The first few times I traveled with my work visa (it was an E3, similar to H1B but for Australia citizens only) when it was first released, the POE officers had to check with their supervisor to understand what the visa was for.

I think it's a power trip for many at the POE. My experiences at LAX have been mixed, from great, to utterly horrible. I have been questioned about my professional competence many times while I was on a valid work visa, except most of the time, they didn't understand what I had explained. They would get frustrated and ask more questions, so I try and simplify what I was saying in layman's terms, then they would say, "that doesn't sound like we need people like you to come here to do", basically no win.

I thought it would all be better after I got my green card, but I was pulled aside for secondary inspection when they I told me I had reported my passport lost/stolen. I told them that I reported no such thing, I was not believed, so I waited in secondary inspection with a bunch of other travelers (meanwhile the 5 officers stood around and chatted with each other). When it was finally my turn, they would not give me any information about who made the report, when and where it was made, I was told I need to sort it out with "my Government since they are always screwing up". So I waited for 45 minutes to be insulted, I was given zero information and dismissed with a tone that sounded like, "you're lucky I'm letting you go". When I called up the Australia consulate on the Monday, they had no report of any issue with my passport. To top it the officials were incredibly rude to my US citizen boss who was traveling with me, pretty much yelled at him to mind his own business when he simply asked where they were taking me.

There will always be people who think they are better than everyone else and act unprofessionally whenever they feel like it, all one can do is have one's paperwork in order and answer truthfully.

Do you have a green thumb? Some of my friends are avid gardeners and they planted all sorts of fruit trees and vegetables in their garden, it takes quite a bit of time, offers good exercise and you are outdoors in the fresh air. You can also join local groups to get seeds, swap tips and if you have good harvests, share it with the neighbors! This is a longer-term project that hopefully will keep you entertained and also very good food for your family.

Also consider using services like Uber to get to where you need to go before you get your license, Uber is not very expensive where I live and super convenient.

Affidavits and pictures are not primary evidence to show that you are co-mingling your financial assets and obligations which is the main thing the IOs care about when reviewing your documents. Does your husband have you on his health insurance plan? Are you a beneficiary on his retirement savings such as 401K? Tax returns are typically one of the best evidences, but since your husband decided to file it incorrectly, it may raise questions and potentially cause you to receive a RFE.