thisislove

OMG! I just had the best sandwich for lunch... fresh mozzarella, mesculin, sweet onions, yellow peppers and this spicy apple pepper chutney! I want more!!

Philly... I am sorry about your family stuff. You know Louis and I have been arguing about Tierra lately. He gets on her about EVERYTHING and when I ask him to cool out it usually ends up in a big argument. I am not sure what to do. I have tried to tell him that he needs to show more love, patience and caring... dont sweat the small stuff. Of course he thinks my way is all wrong... * sigh * .... one day at a time!

I feel the same way about my oldest son and my ex husband. My younger three were by him but my oldest is not. I feel like he gets on my oldest about every little thing. He never says anything good but yet he is always playing with the younger ones. That is not fair even though he is older and he has more responsibilities still don’t always look like the punisher or enforcer. Say nice things, take him on an outing just the two of you and talk men things.

thats my issue.. but to be honest, i don't think he acts this way w/ his kids either, ive heard him on the phone.. i asked him does he tell them he loves them, he said they are big boys.. (6 and 8) i was like, they still wanna hear it.. i am a hugger and a "i love you" person, but if he is not, i guess i gotta deal wid it..

parenting done...MI HUNGRY...MI A STARVE I SWEAR

i just stuffed myself w/ mac and cheese, fry fish, cabbage AND porkand beans UMMMM

bway...mi no know, but my son is 6 years old and we don't have any problems between him and my husband. My son did spend 3 weeks with us in Jamaica a few times, not sure if that has a lot to do with it. If my husband tells him no, it's no. His father tried to run interference many times by telling my son that he should not listen to any other man but his father, thank God my son has my personality, mannerism and respect for people because I don't play. I'm 39 years old and I cannot answer another person WHAT! I just can't -- I think it's rude. My grannie taught me things like that and to always say good morning, please, excuse me or thank you those things jus buried in me.

you and your husband have the same ideas about how kids should act... that helps!

Hey, Shemmy.....do you think you really move on? Or do you harbor stuff that later surfaces? Just wondering. My ex and I had different parenting styles. He has since learned my way was actually the better way cause trying to actually control their every movement was not working for him.

We had a lot of recurring arguments over the same damn stuff.

exactly.. that why it will never REALLY be resolved UNLESS one parent takes on the ideas of the other,

the only thing you can hope for when you compromise is that both parent is WILLING to give and take, w/out holding any resentment

if BOTH parents are okay w/ that, it can work..

but if one parent feels his or her way is the only RIGHT way, then

Well YALL...I gotta go! I need to study before class then after class going to see Tanya Stephens!!!! Whoooo Hoooo.....

Its a pity.....u already have a wife.....

WOW j.. thats gonna be a HOT show.. have fun

Morning/Afternoon Yardies!

Just in & out real quick....we are back from the AOS interview & we are approved! God truly blessed us even with a really nice officer....Officer Thomas who just so happens to be married to a Grenadan man. She's also a Florida gal so she understands how it is to be from a warm place. We seemed to chat more about food, weather & what not more than interview questions. Lehi ended up answering the bulk of questions & the lady was really understanding of his lack of knowledge of details on things like dates. I'll tell the full story & review this evening when we get home. We are back out to have some lunch before poor honey has to have a root canal at 1:00. Thanks Yardies for all your encouragement! You all are the best!

Congrats lehi and leah.. of course there would be no question u guys would be approved but glad you made it!!!!

Quanna u never sent me your number

problem solved SORRY

its hard as heck,

but steph just turned 8, i don't know how much tierra gets out w/ ppl that are not her fam, but when they do and act like the world revolves around them.. its not a pretty sight.. and steph is a caring child.. she was cold and i offered to turn up the heat but she said "no mama, i don't want everybody else to burn up"

she is the first to talk to roger and laugh w/ him, but when she in her "drama queen" stage.. all bets are off..

she hasn't done anything to roger, its the way she acts w/ me that he does not like.. but he just sits there and looks at me like "are you serious?"

he says when his kids come, i will see how he is w/ them, he will not let them talk and act the way i let my kids.. i dont say much, cuz i know they could be better even ive seen MUUUCCCCHHHHHH worse.. case in point HIS OWN JAMAICAN COUSINS... RUUUUDDDDEE TO RASSSSSSSSS

at the same time, i agree w/ shems.. roger hasnt tried to discipline them, but when he does????? i will let him know.. LOOK, if you are going to discipline, you have to love up on them too.. WHEN do you ask them about a show they are watching or whats going on at school.. you expect them to be these mannerable, talkative angels to you, and you just sit back and speak when they speak to you and reap all the benefits ????? NO WAY.. they are children BUT its a 2 way street! he has been trying.. HERE AND THERE..... but he can do much better too..

Chiney, I know it may not solve everything one time. But I can only take it day by day. I would love to go to family counseling but that is not in the budget right now. I also now how stress can effect Louis' attitude.

Louis has no children so this is all new to him. We will have to work this out as a family.

right! but dont u see he has a different view on how a child should behave? stress is no good for anyone..does Tierra say any after he speaks to her or are u the one feeling the "hurt" for her? so ur reacting on his words many children are resilient and until they develop the understanding they will let things "roll" of their shoulders..I see it with Kimora..and she is the only child..and so is Shems daughter

She is an only child but I extremely strict rules in my house...always have and always will. Damien has told plenty of people that I don't play. You cannot have the same rules for a 4 year-old as a 17 year-old..children do grow up.

i didn't think was comparing 4 and 17 yr old..the rules dont change much the way u present them does..

All I can say is it is tough. Things started out great, I NEVER thought Louis and Tierra would not get along.

I know Tierra can be jealous of Louis and now she has to share me. I do my best to make this a happy family.

There has to be a mutual respect between Louis and I. We will not always agree on everything.

But u must always agree on parenting ..thats what it is about

I would say parents should present a "united front".. but behind the scenes we may not always agree and would have to compromise to to come to a mutual decision.

AMEN TO THAT!!!!

i didn't agree w/ how my husband handled things ALOT of times, but my kids wouldn't hear that from me.. i let him do his thing cuz i am not a dictator and he deserved to have some say so, even if i didn't agree w/ the method all the time believe me, he had to let me have my way some times too tho

aftanoon massive!

when ppl have 2 different ideas about raising children, im not sure what can be done besides trying to find some middleground..

i had this problem even w/ my kids biological dad, he stayed on them, sometimes unnecessarily in my eyes, and my idea was that "they are good kids overall, you don't have to be so strict"

we fought sometimes about it, but not enough to cause a major rift.. well not that issue anyway lol

roger believes i should punish my youngest more than i do, he has mentioned it a few times, "steph needs a whooping" . and in those instances he was right, i don't notice until she is out w/ others.. becuz she is such a smart and mature child, i try to give her the benefit of the doubt, but in the end she is still a child and i can't let her act so dyam grown.. i may not put my hands on her as much as roger would on his kids (HE SAYS) but i am gnna start laying the smack down more often..

good luck finding ur middle ground irie

hi and bye everybody.. had to catch a peek at part 21 WOW.. we got evicted huh LOL

be blessed!!!

hi everybody!!

many blessings to those w/ interviews coming.. somebody's was today.. i forget, sorry, but i know you will have good news for us!

sorry bout the medical rfe, i would be so upset too, but just pray this is the last delay and try to believe that everything happens in its perfect time..

alice!!! im so glad that you got some information!!! menaxoxo, im sure you will hear something soon, some cases seem to be taking longer than others.. pls tell me you have at least gotten your ead by now..

tynhi.. don't know if you had your interview already but GOD BLESS... it will be approved, i know it, just keep calm and let your love speak for you.

we didn't have anything but, verification that my husband is on my health insurance and pictures

but we made it..

hubby got his ssn and the "WELCOME TO THE UNITED STATES" letter last week!!!

Stay encouraged everybody.... the race is not given to the swift but those who endureth to the end.. don't give up hope!

okay.. yeah ssa tripping, try vj! i will see yall tomoro

i still didn't get it!

oh nat.. roger said, it woud have been better if we didn't go in so early.. he said the longer we waited, the more nervous he got.. i don't know how that would have helped if we went in right b4 11:30 and they called us at 12 tho?? LOL

so hold on, after you go through that drama for K1 you have to do ANOTHER interview for aos? isn't it automatic?

nope.. its more likely for them to transfer a k1 to CSC where no int is needed, but some still have to do AOS interview.. k3 has aos too right??

Quana,

When I went home for lunch, I read your AOS interview saga to Steven. Thanks SO much for posting, as it gave us things to plan for for ours. I just sent off the AOS package today, so I hope that will be within the next few months.

you welcome nat.. thats why i wanted to post it in its ENTIRETY.. i was reading so many review and it REALLY misled me, thinking it would be a "20 questions" type of thing..

honestly.. i have asked roger 100 times during our relationship why he wanted to marry me and never wanted to marry another and he has been able to equate his feelings into words no problem.. so preparaton may not have changed our outcome.. he was just nervous PERIOD.. i should have made him drink that last magnum he been holding on to, then he would have been READY lol

thanks

sorry bout the second RFE... u would think they would send everything at once.. but u will be approved in due time!!

will do!!

i know right??? i guess i should have gotten ur number so i could have warned you LOL..

no she didn't stamp anything.. she just said i am approving your i130 and i485.. she had said earlier that it can go thru all kinds of checks.. home visits if needed.. so i don't know if she meant b4 or after the gc is rec????.. i don't really expect to get it very soon from the tone of the interview, but i didn't expect her to say it was approved right then either so i will sit while the Lord works it out!

i forgot.. as we left the interview, we had an email for a job offer!!! they got his resume off of careerbuilder.com

it requires a typing test tho and hubby can only peck, but it was nice to have someone seeking him out for a job tho..

thanks cutedolphin.. i told my friends..its truly a testament that God has our perfect end in mind, despite our lack of wisdom, intellect, strength or charm.. what He put together, no man can separate..

i forgot.. as we left the interview, we had an email for a job offer!!! they got his resume off of careerbuilder.com

it requires a typing test tho and hubby can only peck, but it was nice to have someone seeking him out for a job tho..

thanks cute dolphin and martin & raven! i was thinking of waiting too to avoid getting the restricted SSN, been waiting for over 4 months for that number, i dont wanna go back againso son afte applying hahaha! the employees there are tired of seeing my face! lol!

let's dance around the fire and hope our cards fly in soon! =D

I havent thought about that at all. I have a SSN that I got before even applying for AOS. Does this mean I will have to go to the SS office to update them when I have my green card? Or will this happen automatically??

no it will not happen automatically.. you will need to go back in.. its not SUCH a big deal

we have ppl come into the office that never changed status, not even when they become us citizen.. ur number doesnt change, but its nice to have everything in order and correct on ur records

Thanks for the good luck wishes!

I was hoping for a decision on my status at the interview today, but unfortunately no decision was made....so here's our story:

We had our interview scheduled for 2PM, and arrived early around 1.30 PM. There weren't many people (3 other couples who all had their attorney with them) and we were called around 1.45 by a man in his 30-40s.

He showed us to the room, and when my Husband asked should I close the door he didn't answer, my Husband closed it anyway. He swore us in, sat us down and instructed us: I will only ask one person at the time to answer a question and the other person is not allowed to answer, or signal, you are not allowed to look at each other for approval etc.....that set the tone for the entire interview. He started asking me questions, like what is your name date of birth etc (he literally asked me to verify every entry I made in the original forms). I have 2 middle names but I didn't fill these out in the form, but I attached a written note stating that I had those 2 middle names, only a lot of american forms don't allow you to enter 2 middle names so for example my driver's license doesn't have any middle names. Unfortunately he hadn't read the note so he asked me why I didn't fill out my middle names, because it was very important that they knew the entire story of my life.....(so I referred him to the note, which he couldn't find..).

Then he asked me all the security questions about communism etc.

Then the questions started about how we met etc, and he wasn't very happy with the fact that we got married at our house and the wedding was very small (for us it was the most special day you can imagine, with only very close people, in our home, and I can tell you it doesn't feel right when somebody then makes it sound like it doesn't mean anything). He then looked at our marriage certificate and unfortunately (again) the date on the official copy and the original certificate didn't match.

He then asked do we have anything to bonafide our marriage and I gave him car insurance, joint phone statement and I am the benificary of my husband's 401K (all of which were already in our file). He didn't really look at that and then he asked do you have any joint assets like rental agreement (no my husband bought a house, which was before we met and the refi is due next year at which point I will be added) or joint bank accounts (no). Ok then could he have copies of our seperate bank account statements and my husbands mortgage. (by then I was thinking he was just trying to collect evidence that our marriage is not for real). He then asked if we wanted to show him anything else, so I showed him our pictures, and the only thing he said was, so this is your wedding????and this is your priest???? (who didn't wear a suit, but indian clothing because his family is originally from India) and then gave back the pictures. He then asked questions about the fact that we work together, didn't the company have any problems, am I sure I didn't marry him because I didn't want to deal with the H1B??? He then gave me back my I-94 and said I would be needing it....

Finally, some good news: he gave us a chance to quickly walk over to the court and get the date on the marriage certificate fixed, which was very nice of him. We went back in and gave it to him and he suddenly seemed a lot more friendly, so i asked, so what do we do next? He said, well I have to review the file to make sure this is real......and you'll hear about our decision within 6 weeks. But I think you should be fine.

Didn't see that one coming!

I hope this means that he will approve our petition. I read some reviews about the local office and apparantly it is their policy not to inform you about their decision on the day of the interview.

So now the waiting game can begin. I know it is these guys job to make sure no fraude is being committed, but I'm somebody who always does everything by the book (never even got a parking ticket ) and I married my Husband out of pure love (all our family and friends would laugh at somebody suggesting otherwise) and I feel really bad because he pretended not to believe it. I keep my head up and hope this is just the way they play the game! Lucky for me I always have 6 back-ups so I still have a valid visa untill July which I can extend many more years. And if the guy thinks our marriage is more legit when we have joint bank accounts and I co-own the house, then that's an easy fix!

Good luck everybody!

Timeline:

Nov 2006 Enter US onJ1

Dec 2006 Met my (future) husband

Sep 2008 Moved in together

Feb 2009 Married!

May 2009 switched to H1B

Sep 18 2009 Sent out AOS based on I130

Sep 28 NOA's

Oct 5 received bio appointment for oct 28

Oct 7 walk-in Bio

Oct 8 touched

Oct 26 received interview appointment letter

Nov 3 received EAD

Dec 1 Interview NO DECISION

bmore sounds like you and i had about the same struggles LOL.. i think they are really just tryung to give a little info as possible and you are approved tho.. its the nature of their job i guess..DONT WORRY.. you are approved

okay so we arrive at the place 30 min early for 11:30 appt.

we had skimmed the dallas uscis reviews and felt we were very prepared.. all knowledge about each other families, our children, our journey had been rehearsed and re rehearsed..color of toothbrushes, what we sleep in. we both were confident..

we go thru the security checks, go upstairs to the receptionist and she gives us a restaurant style buzzer.. there are about 6 couples and/or families waiting.

so anyway more ppl got called and looked like the appt were going real fast..ppl would be out in a matter of min, MOST ppl had lawyers, i was like. PSHHH we got VJ!!!!

so our time came, the interviewer was an older caucasion woman, she smiled which alot of them did not, so i felt good. I noticed the chairs were VERY far from her desk. not very inviting, but hey this is an interview right. i didn't sweat it.. she swore us in, asked us for our id's and passports, asked for original divorce decree, marriage license and our birth certificates.

asked us did we have children, asked roger for his children's bc's which he told her he didn't have, asked him where and with whom do they live.

she turned to me and asked how we met.. i beamed and gave her my account..she asked how did we keep in contact all this time, i told her

she turned to roger and asked how does he get along w/ children.. he said, Good, we get along.. she tried to goad him a bit to say more, but he said again, we are good, everythings good

i braved butting in when he didn't say much and said that roger cooks for them and is always trying to play good cop when i want to punish them.. that there has been obstacels of course being a step family but things are progressing well. roger says, yes, we are doing alot better now.. (go baby)

she mentioned to roger that this will require alot more effort on his part than the kids (WOW, just what i told him a mnth ago, but moving on)

She asked for proof of joint residency WHAT???? i was ready to give proof of RELATIONSHIP but i explained to her that w/out his ssn which we just got last week, i could not put him on my lease or bank account, the only utility i have (water is paid w/ rent) is electric and they would not put 2 names on it. i don't have cable or internet. switch to positives... i told her I do have a insurance record showing that he is my spouse (get up, hoping she doesn't tell me to sit back down, and hand her the proofs) that i have cards and emails from family and friends, and pictures of course from our long 2 year courtship and marriage. She asked if I didn't have ANYTHING else.. I reinerated that w/ no ssn, it wasn't much we could do

she looks thru it and asks roger when did we meet again? he tells her, and how did we keep in contact..

she said so ya'll talked continually all that time..

so she asks roger what did about me did he fall in love with? roger said, she is caring and loving, sweet, and i just love her..

she says, so when you met her, what about her personality did you like so much? he said that we had so much in common, she is very big on family , she is very good w/ kids, she fit like a glove (fit like a glove LOL)

the lady asked the THIRD TIME.. what about her PERSONALITY.. besides she is good w/ kids and she fit like a glove..

i am looking at him just smiling sweetly, but thinking.. Where is all the great things he always says??? l this is not the time to be to the point and private.. spill ya guts man!

i think he said caring and loving again.. (my poor baby.. his tongue and brain was LOCKED)

so she turns to me and asks me what about him do i love.. i break it down how God sent me the characteristics i had been missing in past relationships and had prayed for..

i told her he was quick to recognize his faults and apologize w/out prompting, sensitive to my feelings, enjoyed talking, she interuppted and said HE DOES?????? dyam lol

i told her well, i mean, he likes talking about problems and not letting them stew..

she said that was nice, most men don't do that.

then my baby comes in.. yes.. i don't like to go to sleep angry or let her go to work in a bad mood, we should resolve any problems right away.. You go baby!!!!!

so she asked roger AGAIN when we met... he said it,, and she said and your parents live in FL.. he sat there confused.. i was thinking SAY NO!!!! he finally was like no ma'am the are in JA.. she said oh i thought you said you were visiting your parents in FL.. last year..

WE BOTH had said visiting family, but she was talking to roger i waited for him to explain and then i chimed in w/ him and said.. no we said FAMILY

so she asked him about his kids, their ages, did he talk to them, did he send them money..

so then she asked roger to step outside to talk to me.. i assumed she is gonna do a stokes interview where she sees if both of us come up w/ same answers separately.. his toothbrush color, what side of bed he sleeps on .. come on.. IM READY!!!

but as she comes back in from showing roger to the door, she says she wants to talk to me.. and i feel like this is something VERY different.

so she sat down and goes into her speel about her job to protect the us citizen (here we go)

she explained 2 kinds of fraud... one where the person knowingly usually for money enters into a marriage to assist the foreigner and another, not so recognizable when the us citizen is tricked.. she said this is the worst cuz blah blah blah.. we have ALL heard this before..

i sat quietly as if she was a friend telling me about her job, smiling, even commenting WOW sometimes.. she tells me that either way the punishment is severe and is only on the us citizen which she wishes there were more penalties on the foreigner. she explained penalites saying something about losing benefits and your children losing benefits (????) she said after it passes her desk, there is no going back that a person who has ANY thoughts that there marriage may not be real has a chance to turn back w/ her without any fear of retaliation from the foreign spouse..

i thanked her for sharing that information and explained that i have seen that fraud first hand which is why it took me so long to accept roger into my life, that i did not want to show my children another messed up relationship and as their example i wanted to show them a marriage they would want to pattern their own after..

so she tells me that many times that is the case, but she has seen it over and over again. and she believes that HE is out to have his family come after he has been married to me for 2 years..

my mouth dropped, all this time she was speaking generally altho i knew what was implied, but now she has called my husband out.. i said, "ROGER??????"

yes.. i believe if they are not already here, they are coming and that is the plan, the childrens mother may already be here married to someone else and when they finish their 2 years married to you and her petitioner, then they will marry each other.. if they are not already married..

i laughed and told her that the only phone we have is mine and i answer it, they are calling from Jamaica.. 876 area code.. their relationship is a rocky one and has been since i met him 2 years ago, but they get along for their children

she said, does he speak another language while on the phone..

i told her not normally, but yes he does speak patois and i am very knowledgeable about the language, enough to understand the jist of a conversation,

i told her i know i sound like all the other women that come thru her office and are mistaken about their husbands intentions but i have not gone into this blindly..

she said it is her job to watch body language, thats why the seats are so far away.. she said roger was very nervous..

i said, most ppl are in this situation..

she said he was shaking as he gave her documents, even demonstated LOL (roger still says he wasn't and i dont' recall that)she said he was unusually anxious

she said she is only saying all this cuz its her job and i have children and sometimes the children are overshawdowed ..

i told her again, that i thank her for her words.. she said she will let him sit out there and sweat a lil more and started to ask me social security questions (where I work) questions.. i gave her better answers that i give the ppl i deal w/ everyday LOL

she gave some advice about the kids getting along w/ roger and i talked w/ her about my kids and their bipolar dad LOL.. and she said she guess she have let him sweat enough..

she said she would scare him and say, she asking are u cooking dinner tonight.. i told her.. oh he cooks everyday so thats not a good one.. she said oh he does..

so she brought him in and said... so ur wife says ur a good cook.. he said, EXCELLENT lol.. i said tell her bout thanksgiving baby..

so he told her that he made curry chicken and rice and peas, and it was all gone before all the rest of the food..

she said curry chicken was her favorite dont' get her started.. she said she loves ELAINES..this jamaican food restaurant..

it was such a coincedence cuz we were going there right after the interview!!! and told her and that we could bring her a plate.. she laughed and hit our paperwork and said APPROVED jokingly

we talked bout the restaurant a bit more and then she said that she was approving our i130 and our i485 and that we had to file for LOC in 2 yrs.. we shook her hand and left

roger said that he wished she would have asked him stuff after he sat out, cuz all the stuff came flooding to him, i told him don't worry about it.. we will get them at LOC.

i am happy, but i wanted her to walk away believing in us, in our marriage.. i wanted to convince her and we didn't she tacked us as another fraud case.. if she approved us, who do they deny???? LOL we understand she was just doing her job cuz there is A LOT of fraud from jamaica

roger said if she had denied us, it would have been like going to jail and you know you didnt do the crime.. their goes that eloquence?? where was it 10 min ago??? LOL

oh well, Praise the Lord anyhow!!!