tany1157

Lazy azz dads are poor role models for their kids. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Just sayin'

You are going through a hard embassy. Concentrate on passing the interview and worry about AP later.

Hi, I know in previous posts earlier in the year that you said you were gonna wait for a few years to apply for AOS as you both agreed he could just stay home and take care of your daughter. Maybe that was a mistake.... If your saving for a BMW why not apply that money for AOS get him is EAD card so he can get out of the house and work a part time job and you spend some time with your daughter. Your little girl needs her mother and it's time he gets out of the house, gets a job, and apply this money to daycare program as she is probably not getting much attention at home while you are gone if you say he is just laying around on the couch doing nothing.
I agree with another poster that men can be pretty spoiled from Morocco as the mother and sister's tend to do all the work in the family. My husband didn't have to do too much there when it came to housework, as his mother always said "no just let me do it". My husband is no different than any other man from Morocco, they all come from a very clean home as the women in the family take pride in keeping a very very very clean home. Though my husband didn't have to do much there, he does plenty here when it comes to keeping the house in order while I work. Heck, I have probably only made the bed 10 times in 8 months as he beats me to it. He always washes the dinner dishes since he says you made dinner, now I will clean up afterwards as I should cause you work and I should have some kind of home responsibility.
Squeaky, I forget just why you didn't want to apply for AOS upon his arrival almost a year ago but I think it's time and 6 moths from now he can work with his EAD card. I mean the longer he doesn't have any responsibility for anything, it's gonna be even harder to just get him out of the house to work and keep a job if you are doing everything. Please don't be a mother to him and be a wife and give yourself a break and I know you have to be tired and exhausted not just physically but emotionally as well.
If I were you, I would not take the extra job, stay home, keep up the house and play with your daughter and enjoy life together. Being a wife means you are a partner in a marriage and it takes two not one. Being a mother means your sole responsibility in life is to raise that little girl with much love and to guide her in the right direction in life and provide for her with a stable family and atmosphere. Just look back on your own Mother's role as you were growing up, most likely she cleaned, cooked, worked, payed the bills and so forth, in general we do it all as we watched our very own mother's do the same, so it our instinct to do the same with our own families. Maybe your husband is missing you too Squeaky but can't find a way to tell you, as I am sure your a strong minded woman. I mean, gosh if he sits at home all day with the baby, I am sure mentally he is getting depressed and now you are taking on a third job and I just don't see him getting any better mentally.
Rethink your situation and find some family time and get back on track, as you didn't wait all these years just to get him here so he could sit at home while you work your life away. Take care and good luck as I know you will find a way to make this work just as you did to get your husband here.

I don't like being taken advantage of. I would send him packing, put my daughter in preschool and go on with my life. Actually, that's exactly what I did with my daughter's father and I never regretted it or looked back for one moment. If the person I am married to doesn't respect me enough to lift a finger to help then really that says volumes about his feelings for me. That's just me though. Others feel like till death do us part. Just be careful not to work yourself to an early death!

NO MAN is worth that in my opinion.

Today is our 9th wedding anniversary. Almost a decade....WOW!!!! I sometimes can't believe we've made it this far. We're no longer that young doe eyed couple. I'm now thirty and he's fast approaching 40 later this year. We have two wonderful boys and we're finally settled into a comfortable, happy routine. I hope and pray for many more happy years together.

Just want to say that the consular officer told my hubby the SAME THING....get married, I will issue you a visa....fast forward 14 months, cr-1 interview by a woman, but with the SAME MAN right behind her, looking over our file, and talking with her....denied again. I would not believe everything the consular says

Casablanca is a high fraud post....they rarely give young men tourist visas, and if you are married to an american, you will absolutely NEVER be approved for a tourist visa. What you are suggesting is visa fraud. Please educate yourself on immigration, because the process isn't about how much you love your wife, it is convincing a consular officer that you did not marry your wife for visa purposes. If she is very sick, maybe you could request an expedite of your petition?

Thanks Sachy My floor is clean. There are no crumbs stuck to my feet. The bathtub doesn't look like wild animals bathed in it. The sink is empty. So far so good.

Cancel the satellite service; use the money to hire a maid !

I complain since i put my feet in this beautiful country in January 2011, but when I read some friends in this website i find my self lucky, I come with a fiancee visa k1 in January 2011, I began working as an assistant in recreation, in a hospital in February 2011 not even a month after i arrived, it was in new jersey, 1 hour drive from home, i want a job closer, no problem i find it very quickly, is not heaven but it's a job i pay my bills, i went to www.amazon.com, i took an appointment for an interview, they hire me i started working after 3 days, 10 hours a day 4 days a week ( by the way i am shocked about taxes in the United States its just crazy i do not understand why i must pay a police officer that will stop me in a highway and give me a 400 dollar ticket to pay lollll). in February, i pass the Writing test for the driver's license, i had two mistakes, three mistakes mean you fail, After 2 weeks i pass the driving test, i got my driver licence, in the Same time i took the advanced ESL classes, i graduate from the literacy center last week, english is my 3rd language after Arabic and french, (i dont understand why the United States does not recognize the degree bring from Arabic country, and they do for degree taken in urope), anyways after five months in may 2011, i receive my green card after paying 1070 dollars of course, i can stay 2 years with ma wife now yayyyyyy ( i love her alot she's for a lot for what i have done till now ).
now i register for classes in college for fall 2011 they start August 2011 in LCCC "lehigh carbon community college", I'll start with english 100, and next year i began studies for occupation therapy assistant program, my wife and i knows that will be hard for us, working for 10 hours and still going 3 hours of school at the same time, anatomy, psychology, human growth and development, mental health, therapeutic adaptation, and more, 5 years of hard work and study and money, but it's worth, they start paying 35 dollar a hour with my degree, it's highly motivating,
I must be proud of me for what i have done till now so god bless america and my wife lol

Excellent post Aya! Thankful my adopted mom is my mother... one who could not carry any children in her womb but adopted 7 of us to become her own! I love my mom!

Am I the only one that feels some people are going WAY overboard here?!
The OP's online boyfriend/fiance has expressed to her his wish of getting custody of both his boys before he joins her in the States.. The OP naively supports him all the way, and comes to VJ to ask if it is legally possible... She is told by other members that his chances of obtaining custody are almost non-existent.. Some members raise questions of why he is bringing this up too early, and why he is raising it up when he lives in another foreign country and doesn't currently have custody of the child...
Even though the situation seems ironical..but he is a parent too, and he can only wish right?? [i personally have no respect for parents who do not put their children as their top priority and are not involved in their children's life on daily basis] I do not identify with him or his logic, but why is almost everybody coming to the conclusion that he is scamming her and wants the kids to have GCs, etc... May be he just wants to build a family with a new woman and still have his children in his life (regardless of the fact that he wants to build that on a poor full-time dedicated mother's misery).. But legally speaking, that can only happen in his imagination, since the mother has been there the whole time for the child, she is financially established, and he has not been physically present in the child's life...
Again, I am not in defense of what the OP's boyfriend's imaginative plan....but seriously!! Why does almost every thread that involves the same famous poster has to turn into: 'OMG The Poor American Woman is Being Scammed by a MENA Man' thread!

This is probably the saddest post I've ever read on VJ. Not long ago, the OP was sharing that this man had his sister raising his older boy for a while, and didn't even want to have the younger child. She said her "fiance's" ex-wife tried to convince him not to divorce her for the sake of the kids, but he didn't seem to have a problem then abandoning his child and moving to Saudi. And now he wants to put them in the home of a woman he's never even met in person before? I'm not saying this to attack the OP or to attack online relationships or anything, but shouldn't just a LITTLE face time be required before moving in the kids?
Wow. I don't know if the OP is even reading this thread anymore. If you are, I really, really, really hope that we are all wrong in what we see here. I hadn't commented earlier but each one of your posts has gotten me more and more and more concerned for you. I know misunderstandings happen easily especially over the internet and we are only hearing bits and pieces of the story and I could be completely off-base, so I'm not trying to judge or predict the future here...I just REALLY hope and pray for you that we're all coming to the wrong conclusions when we see what at least appear from my vantage point to be glaring red flags waving all up and down this relationship. I agree with everything Aly174 wrote. This situation is so sad to me and I fear it is going to get a lot sadder, but I also wish you the best and I hope you find strength and clarity. Good luck.

I truly admire your choice of words. You pretty much covered everything we've all been thinking about this "relationship." I am so worried for this lady because I have the deepest, strongest hunch that she is being fooled. This "man" smells like trouble in many levels; maybe unwillingly, but he does. I also hope I am typing ####### and being negative unnecessarily. I wish my thoughts are bull***t. But this lady's posts show an unfullfilling need to satisfy this man at any costs. Maybe this is why her previous marriage failed. Love is 100/100 not 50/50 not 90/10. I've done the 90/10 drill; 90 on my end, 10 on his. Clearly it didn't work and, may I add, he hates me now because I took away that 90% I was giving him (which included money and perks in the entertainment industry). Now I have a man that goes out of his way for me; he gives 100%. So do I and it feels better.
I'm praying for her, and frankly, is for God to open her eyes. My last advice to her: Becareful what you wish for. You may get what you want, but not HOW you want it. Let God give you a bigger blessing.

OMG OMG OMG OMG
I just got settled in back here in Alex, thought I would hop on and see what's new here with my fellow MENA pals and I read this..........
As Amber so nicely put it, we don't all always agree or share opinions here too often but I think you definitely got an honest overwhelming majority opinion 100on this one..
Melissa, I was so hopeful for you and your "fiance" to get through this whole process and I am still more than willing to help out with any advice pertaining to relationship with and marriage to an Egyptian man as well as immigration proceedings once you arrive at this point, as I am sure many here are as well...however this is one topic that no one can help with nor should you even be looking for help unless as a few others have said there is some legitimate reason the mother should not have custody for the "CHILD'S sake" which clearly does not appear to be the case. I am very sorry for saying this and I truly hope I am being too harsh and wrong, but I am really beginning to question the character of a man, specifically an Egyptian man, who would do such a thing or consider it let alone drag you into it. As others have pointed out, the boy is not even living with him and he is not even in Egypt at this point he works in Saudi and only goes back for short visits during summer break..he doesn't have a daily life with this child at this point, how could any good come out of the two of you tearing him from his mother who has basically been he sole parent and uprooting him to a strange country where he will have no one other than his dad and step brother as far as blood relatives go and ppl to look up to with same culture and background and a foreign step mom whom can't even communicate with him?!?!?!?!:blink:
Sweetie, you seem like a really nice and possibly overly caring woman from your previous posts...to be honest I am quite concerned and worried that your "love" and desire to want to make this man happy will be your undoing. No good Egyptian or good man period, would suggest doing this. I also can't help but notice from all of your previous posts how you are constantly looking for ways that seemingly are to make things easier or more conveinent for your "fiance". If he really wants to be actively involved in their lives more than just via skype and the occasional extended vacations, which by the way the boys mother may or may not even allow since you are talking about sending her child out of the country, the best thing you both could do would be live in Egypt...that is what is in the best interest of the children- this is everything and everyone they have ever known..you guys are the adults, you can adapt and make your own choices- they cannot...In addition to worrying about your "fiance's" feelings and wishes, have you for a moment considered those of the young boy? How will he feel towards you, a stranger, some foreign woman, who aided in helping his father take custody of him then uproot him from what as far as any of us know is a happy home and childhood with a mother whom I am certain he is very attached to and will be extremely loyal to especially if his father were to succeed in doing this...this is a recipe for disaster that you really do not want or need to bring into an already complicated and new relationship/marriage.
My suggestion, stay out of this one and please, please, please get to the core of your "man" and everything he truly stands for and make for certain it is in line with your true values and beliefs. It is easy to fall in love with someone online, especially since you spend so much time talking with them since that is basically all you can do from afar, I venture to say most of us here started that same way. The true test of the relationship lies in what happens in person, not how long you are able to nurture and maintain an online relationship, and only at this point will you get to know the real person you are in love with- by living with them day in and day out, during arguments when neither of you can escape by simply signing out of your computer- right now you are focusing on and thinking about the wrong things, you two first need to sort out a good and proper first official meeting. I strongly urge you not to wait until next summer to do so and marry at that point as you previously indicated. Please take a week and go now, have him meet you in Egypt prior to the school year starting- there is still plenty of time especially since Ramadan falls on August 1, this year- if this is impossible, then by all means get him to agree to meet with you for such a visit over winter break..see how it goes in person and between now and then, then plan your marriage for next summer's visit. I am in Egypt now and work in the education system as well, I am very familiar with the breaks and the fact that there are still plenty of opportunities to have such a visit during the next few months.
I gotta stop now, I feel I will get off topic; this just really got to me on many levels so I had to respond in such a way. Please don't take my response as a personal attack, I really really do wish you the very best.

Being born and raised in Egypt, I can say that your 'fiance's' chances of obtaining custody of his child are almost non-existent.... Especially since his ex has been the full-time parent, and clearly has been playing the role of both parents while your 'fiance' works in Saudi Arabia... I don't understand why would any judge grant him full custody, unless the mother is willing to sign off her parental rights...which I doubt very much..
Egyptian/Middle Eastern mothers are ones of the most protective mothers, you'd ever meet.. The concept of 'letting go' of their children is not even in the culture.. Heck, they even have a hard time letting go of the idea that their children are not children anymore even after they get married and have families of their own...
If he cares about having both children in his life...why didn't he do that before moving to another country and before meeting you?
I don't doubt that you mean well...but there's a difference between supporting your 'fiance'/spouse, and wrecking other people's lives to make yours better...

just chiming in, i normally stay out of these discussions and stick to my own business but you asked the question so i guess i can come on here and agree with half the posters who were direct enough to tell you how unimaginable it is that you and your fiance would even consider doing that to the child or it's mother. Second i will make a new point, a GOOD MAN, would never consider such a thing and especially an egyptian one because from all i have seen egyptians truly know the value of family and mother's here are queens. If your fiance wants to be with you, then that is his choice and if he wants to go to usa then he wants to leave his kids because he will never in an egyptian court get that child away from his mother, raised by another woman in another country

Ummmmm here's another thing that really really puts a ####### in my #######... said fiance doesn't even live with the child or his other child. He is living in another country and only returns during the summer months at which time he then sees the kids, so what makes either of the "adults" in this situation believe any of the children would wish to go to the States and live with some strange foreign lady??? Really this is ridiculous to the extreme!!! Also as others have posted, if he is wiling to do this to the ex-wife, what makes the OP believe he wouldn't do it to her also. Think twice... Karma is a B- IT- CH! Sorry if my language or way of talking offends anyone but really my feathers are ruffled by this inconsiderate way of thinking, me personally... I would NEVER EVER EVER allow something like this to go down, what kind of woman would even want to be party to such nonsense??? I would say a woman that is not a mother and has NO CLUE what being a mother is all about, the OP's only concern is the happiness of her and her fiance, when all mothers know it isn't about what you want but what is best for the child. Enough from me now on this topic, I feel disgusted and offended for the child's mother.

This is such a touchy subject for me because it involves kids.
I read your post again. Do you really think 12 is an appropriate age to rip a child away from his mother? I'm sorry but as a mother I am floored, appalled and outraged that you would even consider taking a child away from his mother even at the mature age of 12. I have two sons, 15 and 13. Apparently older than your idea of the appropriate age a child can be taken from his mother. I can't imagine them living full time in another country being raised by a woman who doesn't even know how to communicate with them. I would be heartbroken and devastated if some foreign chick decided that she knows better what is good for my kids. Do you even consider how this child will feel if you and your "fiance" were to succeed? Such selfishness. I'm just sick that you would even consider such.

Like others have said, you're jumping the gun on this one big time. You haven't even met your "fiance" yet so I'm not sure how the thought of child custody can even enter your mind. You don't even know if you'll actually like your "fiance" once you meet him in person. I wouldn't worry about his kids or his ex right now. I would focus on whether or not you both even have chemistry beyond online chats. I know you *think* you're madly in love and things are going to be amazing but you have no idea. There are so many things to consider other than the feelings of love and lust which is really all you have right now.
About child custody, most of us are not Egyptians but your "fiance" is. He can more easily research child custody laws than we can. What you'll get here is mostly hearsay and opinions not facts. I'm assuming you don't have children because if you did you would NEVER consider taking a child away from his mother esp to move the child to a foreign country. I'm sorry to say this but the situation with your "fiance" does not sound good. Too much potential drama and too many babies and baby mamas.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I didn't say anything because it's not my place to intervene in such a delicate matter. However, we're all talking about solidarity and about joining forces to stop destroying families (i.e. same-sex marriage, for example, which to me is rethoric from the stone ages), and then I read this from a lady that is not thinking clearly at all. I see her posts about visiting him and moving to a 3rd country with him and cooking and what not.... and it increases my worries for her. She sounds like a desperetaly inlove, hopelessly romantic lady that wants to do everything right this time around. I admire that wholeheartedly. The inquiries, however, show the other end of the spectrum.
All this said, my advice to her, and anyone in a similar situation is: do NOT get involved in legal battles from past baggage.... especially when the battlefield is a country other than your own. Period. Done. Love and support, that's it. If HE decides to fight for custody, that's his battle to win or lose. Supporting someone to take away a child from his perfectly fine mother is insanity to the millionth degree. If the mother has engaged in criminal activity, in child abuse or anything like that; if the custody battle is to PROTECT the child, then that's absolutely different.
I'm saying this with the outmost respect and sincere desire for you to succeed. My sister married a man who had a newborn baby from a previous relationship. The ex didn't have the financial assurances to take care of the little girl, but other than that, she was perfectly fit to be a fantastic (in the eyes of the law). My sister and her husband engaged in a custody battle that was epic, to say the least. What was the result? A huge dent in their bank accounts. That's it. My sister became a great stepmother and raised her as her own. Nothing more, nothing less... except money. Was it worth? She now says no. She can't forgive herself for attempting to take that now teenager away from her mom.

Call me crazy, but shouldn't one meet their fiance before planning to take said fiance's child away from the child's mother?????????? Just a crazy thought that ran through my head. I can't remember if that thought was before or after the UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE thought that ran through my head.....

Obviously, this girl is not a mother. If she was, she would never even suggest such a thing. As someone said earlier, be careful cause one day you might be the ex and he might be scheming of ways to take your baby from you.

PLEASE KNOW i MEAN NO DISRESPECT.... BUT.... ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME???
1st you tell us how his 2nd wife wanted nothing from him but a kid, now you come on here asking about taking that child from his mother?!?!?! Are you thinking clearly? I have seen enough to know that to Egyptian people, moms, dads, and extended family included, kids mean everything to them! EVERYTHING!!! There is no way this woman is going to simply rollover and allow her child to be taken from her and moved to another country to be raised by a foreign woman. She will fight that till her last breath. I also think it is SUPER SELFISH of you and him to even consider this. How will you communicate with this child? Do you speak his language? Do you honestly think you can raise this child better than his mother could? WOOOOOOOW really I couldn't believe my eyes when I read this post and had to re-read it to be sure it wasn't a trick of the eye a mere illusion. Time for you to have a reality check sister. Concentrate on yourself, your man and the child that has no mother, learn all you can to communicate with the one child he will be able to bring with him and keep your mind and hands off the child who obviously has a mom who loves and cherishes him. Tsk, tsk....