MelissaJulian

Uh, yeah. I believe this was answered several hours ago, Gary. And oh, pro tip: In the Anglophone world, the proper pronunciation is "pe-TARD." Having Francophone Vermont roots myself, I can understand this misconception, but pronouncing it as "Pet-tar" here would mark you out as a "RE-tard."
Source: Maven, b!tch supreme.

For the finale, I'm going to tie you up with microfilm.

Wow. That was an amazingly succinct synopsis of the entirety of OT. Bravo.

You sir would be a natural candidate for officer class in the VJ Army of the Night, and for that I applaud you.

There you go.

Of all your examples, this is perhaps the most disturbing.
I learned from my first marriage that a woman should not depend on a man for her keep. Going from a rah-rah-pass-the-champers-Bunty lifestyle with my ex to being on my own financially was a big wake-up call. I can take care of myself now and wish I'd not spent so many years taking exactly the sort of low-pay/high-ish cachet jobs I could afford to take with my ex minting it in the City (synthetic derivatives were and still are his bread and butter -- I've told him it's his fecking fault the world is in this mess now!) -- PA for a TV company (we brought you Changing Rooms, Big Brother and Can't Cook Won't Cook -- please send hate mail to them, not me), manager of a secondhand bookshop in South Ken. Somewhere along the way I realised my heart wasn't in the not making money business and went back to law school to start learning how to be a happy capitalist pig. It suits me MUCH better. By the time El Posho told me it was over, I had a couple of years of City experience under my belt, but I was unable to keep myself in the manner to which I had become accustomed. Had I just started with the moneymaking earlier, I would have been in better stead.
All of which is a roundabout way of saying ladies, take care of yourselves.

Don't worry -- I'll make sure to put multiple cutting boards on the bridal registry list.
I'll try not to overload you with questions, elmcitymaven!

I'm aware that my fiance and I have very different levels of income and it's our little joke that I am a pauper. (Although in reality I'm earning a pretty okay salary for what I do.) Maybe it's not clear that it was a joke. I feel a little hurt that everyone seems to think that J is holding this over me when it's totally not the case.

I'm aware that my fiance and I have very different levels of income and it's our little joke that I am a pauper. (Although in reality I'm earning a pretty okay salary for what I do.) Maybe it's not clear that it was a joke. I feel a little hurt that everyone seems to think that J is holding this over me when it's totally not the case.

Yay! I have given the best advice in this thread then -- campaign for the re-introduction of the "-1" AND mount an armed struggle against VJ. Although it is against my creed to use it, I feel this is the appropriate time to deploy this smilie:

I don't know, I'm just a girl. As Barbie said, "Math is hard."

+1 to your +1 for the -1. What's that in new math?

Good good good! Finally, the Army of the Night is rising on VJ! Come friends, let us end the tyranny of the only option being "+1"!

I think you are my VJ hero today, Johnny.
For the love of god, yes. The level of unabashed f^cktardedness seems to be rising on a nearly daily basis. Even if giving a "-1" gave pleasure only to the one who doled it out, it would be deeply satisfying.
Campaign to Bring Back the "-1" rating starts NOW.
Edit to add: And while we're at it, bring back rebeccajo, who I believe was a completely self-contained "-1" system unto herself.
Edit to add redux: Fixx0red atrocious grammar in the addendum; I got the case all wrong. Oh, the shame.

I am NOT a Californian. I am in but not of the place. Cut me open and you will see "Connecticut" written through me, in fancy cursive. I speak like Thurston Howell III's younger sister and I'm proud of it.
I guess my new boyfriend Julian must have gone to bed. I wanted to hear more about the size of his bank balance.

Here's the deal----You come across as a braggart in your posts here and elsewhere. I find it off-putting, perhaps others have too, and that's why you got grief from the gals. You could have easily said "we agreed on a sedan and she got talked into a sports car." Sounding like a pompous ####### will not win you many friends, not that you're looking for friends or supporters of your posts.
And to save Muffin some time:
Peace, Love, and Porsches!
Mama Nich xxxx

I must be going mad, because I haven't said or done anything that anyone else hasn't said. What about the woman complaining about her husband's 'saliva pools?' Oh how dare she violate their sanctity of marriage by belittling him in a public forum! Or how elmcitymaven compared her husband to Stalin, how insensitive! Bollox. We're all here just blowing off a bit of steam, some of us passing the time awaiting election results, that's all. You people who are complaining really need to quit reading so much into it.

Once again, hi. Melissa here. I just want to make it clear that Julian and I love each other very much and we are very aware of each other's shortcomings. He's right -- I do tend to change my mind a lot, even when I have said I will definitely do something one way, I often change it at the last moment! I am trying to be less selfish about these things and learn how to take his opinion about things into account as much as my own. When he makes up his mind, nothing's going to change it, but I am exactly the opposite. This is why I can never go to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory -- too many choices!
It's nice that everyone is concerned about us, but well, Julian is just being himself in this thread. Sometimes he rubs people the wrong way because he is very direct. I don't see it so much as him attacking me but as he says, more blowing off steam. When I need to, I tend to do so elsewhere in my diary or in my blog. I'm actually really touched that he is so concerned about my safety, and I didn't really understand that until we talked last night. I also understand that this is a really big purchase, and that he's worried that I'll do the same for other big purchases in the future.
And whoever said that thing about barefoot and pregnant... well, today's been so tough at work I think I wouldn't mind trading it all in for that!

Once again, hi. Melissa here. I just want to make it clear that Julian and I love each other very much and we are very aware of each other's shortcomings. He's right -- I do tend to change my mind a lot, even when I have said I will definitely do something one way, I often change it at the last moment! I am trying to be less selfish about these things and learn how to take his opinion about things into account as much as my own. When he makes up his mind, nothing's going to change it, but I am exactly the opposite. This is why I can never go to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory -- too many choices!
It's nice that everyone is concerned about us, but well, Julian is just being himself in this thread. Sometimes he rubs people the wrong way because he is very direct. I don't see it so much as him attacking me but as he says, more blowing off steam. When I need to, I tend to do so elsewhere in my diary or in my blog. I'm actually really touched that he is so concerned about my safety, and I didn't really understand that until we talked last night. I also understand that this is a really big purchase, and that he's worried that I'll do the same for other big purchases in the future.
And whoever said that thing about barefoot and pregnant... well, today's been so tough at work I think I wouldn't mind trading it all in for that!

Might not need to be present in the USA but domicile MUST be established. If the intending immigrant arrives BEFORE the sponsor has established or re-established US domicile the alien is inadmissable. In the OP's situation, if his sponsor wife maintained US domicile then all should be OK. If for some reason she did not then it could be problematic
Portion of TITLE 8 OF CODE OF FEDERAL REGULATIONS (8 CFR) discussing domicile.
ii) Determination of domicile . (A) If the sponsor is residing abroad, but only temporarily, the sponsor bears the burden of proving, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the sponsor's domicile (as that term is defined in 8 CFR 213a.1 ) remains in the United States, (more)
(B) If the sponsor is not domiciled in the United States, the sponsor can still sign and submit a Form I-864 so long as the sponsor satisfies the Department of State officer, immigration officer, or immigration judge, by a preponderance of the evidence, that the sponsor will establish a domicile in the United States on or before the date of the principal intending immigrant's admission or adjustment of status. The intending immigrant will be inadmissible under section 212(a)(4) of the Act, and the immigration officer or immigration judge must deny the intending immigrant's application for admission or adjustment of status, if the sponsor has not, in fact, established a domicile in the United States on or before the date of the decision on the principal intending immigrant's application for admission or adjustment of status. In the case of a sponsor who comes to the United States intending to establish his or her principal residence in the United States at the same time as the principal intending immigrant's arrival and application for admission at a port-of-entry, the sponsor shall be deemed to have established a domicile in the United States for purposes of this paragraph, unless the sponsor is also a permanent resident alien and the sponsor's own application for admission is denied and the sponsor leaves the United States under a removal order or as a result of the sponsor's withdrawal of the application for admission.

I understand that I will have to "be there" for the I-864, but surely we can just have him self-sponsor for the I-134? I feel more comfortable knowing that he has his money to fall back on should anything go wrong between us once he's here. Or am I just getting confused? I *think* I understand about how I'm "on the hook" with the I-864 in a way I'm not with the I-134. But surely if something DID go wrong, wouldn't it show USCIS that he didn't need my money and shouldn't be allowed to sue me for support if we relied on his money in the first place? Not that I think something will go wrong, and it's not like he needs my money anyway.
bakofoil -- I don't understand why you seem to have an issue with my fiance being old-fashioned with money, and why you said he should just get an investors' visa. He loves me very much -- that is why we are going for the fiance visa. He wants to come here to marry me and coming to America is just a side effect of wanting to be with me. If I lived in Peru he would go to Peru. If I lived in Zurich he would go there. I believe a woman's place is wherever she wants to be, whether the home or the boardroom. For me, I am choosing a more traditional path. If that bothers you, I'm sorry. I consider myself to be a feminist, and in my definition of feminism housewife is a perfectly respectable life path.

I second what Nich-Nick said. Ricky visited me after the NOA1 and it wasn't an issue. I went there when I was awaiting my interview and that was a problem either.

Can't wait to join this thread! I started posting at VJ last year, and was all set to file the I-129F (I even started the May 2009 filers thread, lol) when my fiance had some bad family news and we decided to postpone sending it off. It was supposed to be a month... then we ended up taking a relationship break. It was pretty hard for me, I was almost ready to send back the ring when Julian showed up at my door. He stayed with me for 88 days (he was able to telecommute from here in Pasadena!) and by the end of it we realized it was meant to be after all. He went back two weeks ago and I sent the I-129F for real (lol) today.
So...hi again!