~happyndinlove~

The CFO is still very necessary, and for the most part does a good job. Some that do not understand the ugly truth about the Philippines think this process is just a way for the government to make a few more pesos. The truth is every year thousands of Filipino women leave the PI seeking a better life by marrying someone from another country. A lot of the marriages are arraigned, or brokered by illegal matchmaking agencies. While mail order brides is illegal in the PI, it still goes on there, because in other countries it is legal. The reason the CFO asks all those questions, and wants all those other documents is because they are trying to find out if a third party introduced the Filipina to their husband, or future husband.
The arranged marriages is clearly a form of human trafficking. Lots of these women go to Korea and Japan, and some wind up being nothing but cooks, maids, babysitters, or even worse forced into the sex trade and prostitution. The CFO tries to find out if someone is coercing them to contract marriage with a foreigner, and if getting married is really what they want to do. A lot of women are 18 to 25 years old and they think they will be helping their family by marrying a foreigner. Even the women family in some cases is the very ones who is encouraging her to get married.
The CFO cannot look at someone and tell if they are a victim of human trafficking, so they try to find that out during the interview. If there are any red flags, the interview and the request for more documents can seem like a interrogation more than a interview. If the woman is 18-25 years old, there is a large age difference, or her husband or fiancee has divorced more than one time, and she can't answer simple questions about him can set off alarms.
Under Philippine law, Filipino women who are going overseas as fiancees and spouses of foreign nationals are required to attend the CFO's guidance and counseling program to help them make informed decisions regarding their marriage to foreign nationals and to prepare them for their adjustments in cross-cultural marriages. Attending the program is a per-requisite for the issuance of a passport.
I think the counseling program is about the only tool the Philippines has in identifying Filipino women who are mail-order brides, or women who are getting married for the wrong reasons. That why it is still necessary.

I never had any problem when i had my seminar in cebu. I think its just common sense that you should know the person your gonna live with not just their skype id or yahoo id or just thier name. Bring all the documents you think that they will need bcoz purely they dont know your foreign partner. I dont think they were brainwashing... Its the reality that is happening. And if your not like that dont whine about it. Just bcoz they are filipinos judging americans then you have to react already...dont americans judge filipinos too? If your not that kind of person they are talking about then i dont think you have to react.
If they will ask you whats the mothers maiden name of your foreign partner then you will answer...i dont know... Isnt it weird that you know and memorize the skype or yahoo id but you dont know the mothers maiden name of the person your gonna live with outside the country and the worst thing is your already gonna leave the country soon. Some people are just so excited to go out and not even knowing so much information about thier foreign spouses thats why i think the seminar is needed. okay im done. Hehehehe.

I think limiting the number of people is a bs. But i dont think the seminar needs to be abolished bcoz not all people who marry foreign spouses are educated enough to know what their rights as an immigrant, where and how they can get help if something happen to them like they get abuse or neglected by thier spouses. Was the seminar helpful to me... Not really bcoz i know what to do if something happen to me but when i had my seminar some people didnt know what to do or where to go...it might be a waste of money and time for you but im sure it isnt for other people.

It would take longer to fight it than go to it......... or get around it like some suggest......I mean really...half a day and less than $15....whats the big deal after all these other hoops you jump through...

What's the lesson?

/

Let's come back to this.
All Filipinos?
None of them?
Not yesterday or tomorrow?
Like...Not there? Gone? Never was never is never will? Like... I'm a Filipino and I'm clueless!...?
1) My wife had a savings account when we met and still does. Asawa Ko invests via a few mutual funds too. Furthermore, My wife's credit management is spot on.
2) Catholic..Pope...Vatican...none of that rings a bell?
3) My wife has a college degree. Business Management. 2 of our bunsos...4th year Legal Management and 2nd year Computer Science.
4) Is your "girl" mabaho and stinky breath?
OK...let's go back...may I borrow your original question?
You married your "girl" and don't understand her culture?

I wonder why OP has been offline since starting this thread. Maybe he's embarassed about handing his wife over to a VJ mob? I find it strange the MODs have allowed many posters to refer to OP's wife with derogatory accusations and vulgar insults. I wonder if it's because she's a Filipina? I wonder why the MODs torelate the misogynistic posts.
Poor woman. She is being slaughtered by people who don't have any clue what is really going on inside the OP's house. Judging someone without hearing their side of the story, IMHO is ridiculous.

I spy with my little eye a possible thread ban in my near future.
_________________________________
In the meantime....
Darren,
Best advice...Do what your told and don't touch anything without (1st) getting permission and (2nd) adult supervision.

So you are saying it was her fault because her husband is insanely jealous, because in your own mind she may have been flirty? Men and women both flirt, and I believe she stated he would go into a rage if she merely said hello to anyone. Saying she deserved this abuse is like saying a woman deserves to be raped merely because she was wearing a short skirt. What century do you live in?

Amen! I Could've not said it better! Women are naturally flirty and seek attention? #######!? All of us do. It takes two. Period. Stereotypes makes me sick....

I'm sure everyone can distinguish your words and my words (on style and grammar alone), especially in the context of a message board. That's what the "quote" feature does - it means everything in the green box was written by the username at the top.
Your caricature of women as attention-seeking flirts is insulting, and claiming that is their "nature" perpetuates a standard that has been used to discriminate against women for ages. I've barely touched on the fact that you are insinuating that victims of domestic violence are in that position because they didn't "do a good enough job" of bending to the whims of their abusers. His jealousy = his problem. Victim blaming is EXTREMELY detrimental, and if you want to call that "bashing," then, yes, you have "bashed" a group of people who have been abused and terrorized.
The OP was verbally abused. How badly, we don't know. But when she finally stood up to him, you accused her of not being "dependable."
Some people's opinions are racist. Some are homophobic. And some are mysoginistic, whether they are followed with the "IMHO" qualifier or not.

Darren, this statement is creeping me out.
What "warning signs" (specific to your situation) did the hospital report for "investigation"?
Are you advising people to cover up "warning signs" to avoid investigation?

The "hospitol"? Thats a lot of people...right?
(Let me make sure I understand correctly)
You are stating...the hospitol staff...(complete strangers)...developed an ("dominant over her") impression (in a few days) and felt compelled to share it with you...bcoz they are "concerned"?
Shocking.
The baby looks just like you.

I would have to agree with Rebecca Jo, the last thing I would want to hear after giving birth is "its too bad you had a c-section at your age." But thats just me. I would just want people to be happy for me.

I agree with you. I gave birth twice through C-sec. First with my daughter born in the Philippines and I went back to work after 3 weeks. Second was with my son born in Las Vegas. They operated on Wednesday and I went grocery shopping on Saturday while he was still in NICU since he was a preemie, and taking care of him was just all on me and my husband because his relatives are in Buffalo so there was no other help. I think the recovery depends on the person and how she's taking and handling it. The first 2 days were painful but after that, I went back to my normal activities minus heavy lifting.

I tell you what will make a c-section mom feel a whole lot worse than pain from her incision. That's people implying or saying that there was something "wrong" with how she gave birth.
Since you didn't have a c-section, you're actually not a very good judge of recovery from it. It's really not that difficult.

What is that supposed to mean? There's nothing wrong with having a birth that way. Women of small bone structure sometimes cannot deliver vaginally. My son would not enter the birth canal because of my small bone structure. He swallowed meconium and the heart rate plummeted on the fetal heart monitor.
It's not "too bad" for a woman to have a c-section. It's a way for her and her child to have a life together.
Darren - her recovery will only be slightly longer than with a vaginal birth. Her tummy area will be very sore and she'll need to keep it covered when she bathes. She'll have lifting restrictions for a short period of time. It's really not that bad. And the good news is her bottom won't be hurting.

I thought this thread Died a few weeks ago.

Sometimes I wish there is a minus vote right next to that plus vote.
/

I am a "Once a cheater always a cheater" believer.
In my book, there's no justification and there's no forgiveness. Sorry to hear your trouble but, time to move on.

I am a "Once a cheater always a cheater" believer.
In my book, there's no justification and there's no forgiveness. Sorry to hear your trouble but, time to move on.

I am a "Once a cheater always a cheater" believer.
In my book, there's no justification and there's no forgiveness. Sorry to hear your trouble but, time to move on.

I wonder why OP has been offline since starting this thread. Maybe he's embarassed about handing his wife over to a VJ mob? I find it strange the MODs have allowed many posters to refer to OP's wife with derogatory accusations and vulgar insults. I wonder if it's because she's a Filipina? I wonder why the MODs torelate the misogynistic posts.
Poor woman. She is being slaughtered by people who don't have any clue what is really going on inside the OP's house. Judging someone without hearing their side of the story, IMHO is ridiculous.

Did you notice the ?..? It was a question not a suggestion. Don't twist my word.

I wonder why OP has been offline since starting this thread. Maybe he's embarassed about handing his wife over to a VJ mob? I find it strange the MODs have allowed many posters to refer to OP's wife with derogatory accusations and vulgar insults. I wonder if it's because she's a Filipina? I wonder why the MODs torelate the misogynistic posts.
Poor woman. She is being slaughtered by people who don't have any clue what is really going on inside the OP's house. Judging someone without hearing their side of the story, IMHO is ridiculous.