Muh and me

Thanks Sachy My floor is clean. There are no crumbs stuck to my feet. The bathtub doesn't look like wild animals bathed in it. The sink is empty. So far so good.

I complain since i put my feet in this beautiful country in January 2011, but when I read some friends in this website i find my self lucky, I come with a fiancee visa k1 in January 2011, I began working as an assistant in recreation, in a hospital in February 2011 not even a month after i arrived, it was in new jersey, 1 hour drive from home, i want a job closer, no problem i find it very quickly, is not heaven but it's a job i pay my bills, i went to www.amazon.com, i took an appointment for an interview, they hire me i started working after 3 days, 10 hours a day 4 days a week ( by the way i am shocked about taxes in the United States its just crazy i do not understand why i must pay a police officer that will stop me in a highway and give me a 400 dollar ticket to pay lollll). in February, i pass the Writing test for the driver's license, i had two mistakes, three mistakes mean you fail, After 2 weeks i pass the driving test, i got my driver licence, in the Same time i took the advanced ESL classes, i graduate from the literacy center last week, english is my 3rd language after Arabic and french, (i dont understand why the United States does not recognize the degree bring from Arabic country, and they do for degree taken in urope), anyways after five months in may 2011, i receive my green card after paying 1070 dollars of course, i can stay 2 years with ma wife now yayyyyyy ( i love her alot she's for a lot for what i have done till now ).
now i register for classes in college for fall 2011 they start August 2011 in LCCC "lehigh carbon community college", I'll start with english 100, and next year i began studies for occupation therapy assistant program, my wife and i knows that will be hard for us, working for 10 hours and still going 3 hours of school at the same time, anatomy, psychology, human growth and development, mental health, therapeutic adaptation, and more, 5 years of hard work and study and money, but it's worth, they start paying 35 dollar a hour with my degree, it's highly motivating,
I must be proud of me for what i have done till now so god bless america and my wife lol

Wow, seriously thank all of you for some great advice. I had a heart to heart with him before bed last night. Basically consisting of the guilt trip- I do everything in my power to make and keep you happy, and you do as little as possible to keep me from kirking out. How is that fair? And I told him to think about it. When I came home today, the floor has been mopped and lunch is being made. Progress? We shall see. I'm going to take a lot of the advice given here and apply it. I tend to be a very confrontational person, and I'm going to try to tone that down and be patient.
I've been a damn hard worker all my life, and he's worked a total of 9 months in his whole life, so it's difficult for us to relate when it comes to getting up off one's #### and just DOING it. le sigh. I hope it gets better.

Erika, many of us have found a sisterhood and bonded here. Its too bad that a thread of sorts has to be taken off track but there are some people and I won't say who it is, does that. I'm sorry you feel that way, but those of us that have formed a sisterhood have become like family and very close. And I agree I dont get either why some people ave to be mean and nasty.

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies...
My goodness..looks like too much estrogen here...I hate to get between you guys...cool down.

Sandinista did not tell you what you must do or must not do.. She never said anything about you bashing any type of group.. She was advising you of what she knows... She did not put you in any category... Read her post again!

Kat I don't look at it as not having made it. I look at life now as a big journey having many bumps on the road to whatever desitinies we encounter. My relationship with my husband overall was very good. I loved him, he loved me and we had many many good times together. In the end it wasn't meant to be I guess but that's just life.
Marriage with someone from MENA if you are an American is hard. Marriage is hard anyway without putting cultural differences in the mix. Then add whatever bad stuff you want, whether it be abuse, neglect, mental illness, etc. and you've got yourself quite a challenge. If you already have kids then add that to the big stew. Seriously a person has to be very strong to go through what some of us go through and come out ok in the end.
All that being said I would not trade one day...ok maybe *one* day....of my marriage with him for anything. As the old saying goes, "better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Although I'm still very sad, I know that in time I will heal and will be left with some beautifully awesome memories of laughter, joy and love.

People tend to repeat relationship patterns, especially abusive ones, unless they make a concerted effort to break the pattern.

I think this statement was directed at Kat, but I don't know how fair it is. I know of many, many failed MENA relationships, many of which involved abuse. While some of the women involved might have a history of this sort of relationship, not all do - at least not to my knowledge. And even if every single one of them had an abusive past, I don't think it's right to mock the situation. I feel for every woman that has gotten scammed, regardless of whether she has fallen into a cycle of victimhood.
I agree that this thread is OTT, and that Kat has some issues to work out (which I think she would agree with), but we shouldn't paint every woman who has had a bad experience on this visa journey with the same brush.

I think I remember hearing that dental disease is related to heart disease. Don't forget to brush AND floss after meals.

My hubby spoke "internet Moroccan" to me for 2 years, and it didn't sound ANYTHING like that!

I guess we are somewhat of a success story, although Wadi doesn't have his citizenship yet, so the verdict is still out. I kid, I kid.
Anyway, we met almost 8 years ago now - we were both living in Genoa, Italy. We dated "traditionally" I guess, and then lived with each other for a while there as well. We went through the K1 process back in 2005 and have been married for over 5 years. Had our first child in 2009.
Right now, things are good, but it hasn't always been smooth sailing. We are a lot more different due to our upbringings than I realized when we were all wrapped up in the romance. It hasn't been anything insurmountable, but I would say that intercultural marriages are much more challenging overall. I think that when we met we were both already compromising in a way by living in Italy - more fast-paced than Morocco, more laid-back than the U.S. Moving to the U.S. was my comfort zone, and Wadi had to be the one to stretch. It's an ongoing process.
Now we have the greatest thing in common, our love for our child, that helps bridge our divides and makes us work extra hard to understand where the other is coming from. We're making a life here together - my career is going well, his business is starting to take off, we're thinking about when we'd like to add to our family. All in all, things are pretty good, and I wish the same for all of you.

OMG 21 inches of snow so far and we aren't done! I can't open my back door its terrible. I got snow drifts over my 4 ft fence. There are snow drifts in the road, its bad! Poor Tinker wants out but I can't let her out. And even if I could i'd had to find a way she don't get lost in the drifts.
Have a good day all! and HELP!

Happy Feb. While some of us are preparing for a monster storm (me) others are basking in the warm sun (where), and others are getting ice and snow where they normally don't. I pray everyone is well.
I just got done watching Mubarak. I pray that all the unrest in Egypt is over soon. And my prayers are for you all that have family and friends over there. I hope they all keep safe. AYA, I'm prayin for you sis. Come home soon.

Happy Tuesday, only 3 more days til friday!

Congrats Sandrilla! Its been a long time! HOw are things?
Happy Thursday! I'm one step closer to my hubby being home, he said end of month!!!!

Awesome shot Meriem!
Tamara, I'm sorry to hear about your hubby's grandma, I pray things will work out!
Hi Jeanne, how are you?
Me, well i'm hanging in there. Muh will be home at end of month, hopefully end of week, inshallah.
I've been having lots of health problems, one of them maybe the same one Muh is being treated for which is glacoma. I also have the start of cataracts. And been suffering from and infection and headaches. I went to doctor only to find out my blood pressure is out of control, so instead of doin something about it, she treats me for the infection and says come back in a month. Well, tomorrow I'm gonna be calling and screaming for an appt ffrom my doc. and hopefully find out whats up!
I hope you all have a good week. And take care.

Plainly, most people who have gone through this (MENA) forum are now divorced. Not that it would ever stop a multi-year online relationship machine, but statistics are way off the positive side. Red flags DO mean something.

It's none of anyone's business but yeah 22 is way young IMO. Chatting online for three years is really not a good way to judge maturity, intelligence, personality, etc. So many MENA guys get coached on what to say and copy/paste happens a lot. I know you don't want to hear any of this and will most likely go on ahead and marry this guy. Don't be surprised if the family isn't cool with the situation. And if they are, you may just be a starter wife and they're well aware and may even be encouraging it. I guess spending time in this forum and getting to know lots of ladies in similar circumstances has jaded me a bit. The rate of success with these types of marriages isn't great. Esp. when there's a large age difference and he's practically still a teenager. I'm sorry but I'm a couple years younger than you and the thought of being with a 22 year old (regardless of maturity) totally creeps me out. It's hard enough to find common ground with a 22 year old American. What are you going to do with a 22 year old Egyptian who lived a completely different life than you?

I think we should rename MENA to "Burned and Bitter". Whaddya think?

I feel so bad for you that you are still waiting. I am keeping you in my prayers