Martiniolive

HOLY COW! I responded to your thread this morning but it must not have gone thru. I an so relate to your fear this morning, my son was injured in college sports and had to have surgery and it was so hard to protect him from seeing my own emotions and fear while trying to be strong and comfort him at that time. I am happy to see you are getting good help for him. This is a tremendous wake up call to all of us here! We can not underestimate the MAJOR stress this causes on our body and health. Be sure to get excercise, eat a healthy diet, take time for your needs!!!!! Get away from VISA stuff at least once a week (do it for your spouse they neeeeed you healthy when they are finally here) Kids have so much stress and preasure from school and not to mention trying to fit in and be liked by peers also.

good news and bad news ..... the good is I can take myson back home inshallah today and the bad is that he suffer from emotive high blood pression that make his heart this way, he can not be under stress and have to do a follow up// I as him why he is under stress? he said all the test for the school believer or not kids get stress for this //// I wish to have those kind of stress but my are stress with USCIS

thank you for be with me in this hard moments

, now i will need to check the high blood pression, the cardilogist said this can damage his heart I never know that

at his age ? anyway this is the new update/// I feel now much better to know what is going on, thank u for the prayers

Sandrilla I certainly know how BOTH of you feel !!!!! I read your time line and it is perplexing me that you can get approved for a K-3 and did you get denied for CR1? Maybe they are harsher for the CR1's???????????? Makes no sence at all tho. But I don't understand how you can apply for both at the same time anyway, did you try to cancel the k3 first? I ask because I was thinking of canceling my CR1 and re applying for another CR1 to start over fresh. That way I know I have a 9 month wait again instead of being in AP abyss for who knows how long. This was what my congressmans office suggested to me. BUT!!!!!!! It is such an individual journey for us each and it is hard to know what he is feeling inside. I am positive some times and completely want to stop breathing other times. So I know how it is a day to day battle. He must know you love him and want him so bad! Can you send him cards like everyday so he has always something to touch that you touched?????? That would make me feel better. My prayers are with you both!

Well after the wedding night, whats a virgin have that a well seasoned veteran can't top Did I say that out loud???????

OK - don't want to offend, but if I do it is the nature of the topic.

I think older woman/younger man marriage can work well, as long as the couple accepts that there will be certain barriers within their relationship. And really, all relationships will have barriers and naturally, SH!T does happen.

To bring this issue on to an immigration website is the fact that age differences -significant ones - are typically viewed as red flags for visa fraud; this goes for both men and women petitioning for significant others. One other thing that I believe gives the MENA USEMs pause when approving visas is that many MENA men typically want to marry a virgin. Thus, the idea that he is marrying a 40+-year old woman with 3 kids might raise a few eyebrows. I'm not saying love doesn't exist, I just believe that these couples will have a few more obstacles (USCIS/DOS) placed in front of them.

Just food for thought.

well part of why I waited so long was I did not even think I would feel like I do about a younger guy...and he was really far away as you say. So it seemed like such an impossible long shot I did not think we needed personal details. He was just a really respectful nice guy that kept chatting with me. He was always so upbeat and funny that it was easy to keep talking to him. I did not even pay attention to it much until I went away for a vacation somewhere and it hit me that I missed talking to him each day. Thats all really it snuck up on me. I was driving and thinking wow I can't believe I am actually missing that guy and suddenly I got a text from him! I had to pull over in my car to read it and it was simple really but at the bottom he said "Je'Taime" and I was like..I have seen that word somewhere before .. I had to use google translate when I got home. It did take me a while to reciprocate and be comfortable with that. Than I found a woman who was 60 with a husband from morocco whom was 30 years old! They went thru the visa stuff and had been living happily for over 6 years here. And now here I am on VJ's. Were surrounded!!!! Group Hug

I have a hunch that alot of things take the RAP for the divorce rate. When people are hurting and sad they say alot of mean things and it is always the other guys fault. It is toooo easy to blame things like...he cheated, used me, especially green card that makes everyone say "I KNEW IT!!!!!" It could so easily really be they just were a bad match, or had less in common that originally thought and so on. It took me along time to admit my age to my husband. I did not tell him until I had to show him my drivers lic and birth certificates and i was sweating!!! Thank god he did not flinch. Men from his country are very mature and want to be settled down and married. We had the qualities each was searching for and our ages don't seem to matter to us. But I have to add that he does need some training which goes with a younger (never married) man and that takes patience on my part. But it's a good trade I think. Because when we do understand each other (hello culture and internet communication) it is such bliss.

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Three years is not biggie. But then again who cares what anyone else thinks? The only people that I worried about was the immigration. Are you concerned that these 3 years will cause you problems? Personally I wouldn't consider that to be a red flag in your case.

I can't help but wonder if this is going to turn into a flame thread.

Yes M4E it is going to but we are due LOL

We have been missing some drama here lately haven't we.

Thats funny that you waited so long to tell him your age. That was the FIRST thing I told my husband, along with the fact that he was too young, and to far away. Obviously I changed my mind.

OH a Cougar LOL well if you are a cougar you are aparently a very hot cougar

SOME STRANGE REASON I ATTRACT YOUNGER MEN LOL

I actually am about 8 years older than my husband...does that make me a COUGAR

I have a hunch that alot of things take the RAP for the divorce rate. When people are hurting and sad they say alot of mean things and it is always the other guys fault. It is toooo easy to blame things like...he cheated, used me, especially green card that makes everyone say "I KNEW IT!!!!!" It could so easily really be they just were a bad match, or had less in common that originally thought and so on. It took me along time to admit my age to my husband. I did not tell him until I had to show him my drivers lic and birth certificates and i was sweating!!! Thank god he did not flinch. Men from his country are very mature and want to be settled down and married. We had the qualities each was searching for and our ages don't seem to matter to us. But I have to add that he does need some training which goes with a younger (never married) man and that takes patience on my part. But it's a good trade I think. Because when we do understand each other (hello culture and internet communication) it is such bliss.

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Three years is not biggie. But then again who cares what anyone else thinks? The only people that I worried about was the immigration. Are you concerned that these 3 years will cause you problems? Personally I wouldn't consider that to be a red flag in your case.

I can't help but wonder if this is going to turn into a flame thread.

Yes M4E it is going to but we are due LOL

We have been missing some drama here lately haven't we.

Charles!

I can't help but wonder if this is going to turn into a flame thread.

Three years is not biggie. But then again who cares what anyone else thinks? The only people that I worried about was the immigration. Are you concerned that these 3 years will cause you problems? Personally I wouldn't consider that to be a red flag in your case.

I can't help but wonder if this is going to turn into a flame thread.

Yes M4E it is going to but we are due LOL

Polo where did you live????????? Which part? We always got in trouble a bit in Meknes where my husabnd lives. But it is real conservative there and actually he spends most of his time there. He is really always worried about being respectful of others so he might be overly worried about it. Thats what I think. I really think he listens to others too much. If we lived there I do not think it would be bad. I think people he talked to have worried him telling him worse case senarios! I can take care of myself I can be a Biotch if I have too LOL. But no matter. If he is going to worry that much it isn't worth it. It's just I loved the culture there so much and want more of that in my life. I really want to have a place there somday to spens mos at a time. Maybe I will go without him (kidding) Thanks for the info.

I just wanted to drop by and say I have just come back from; living with my husband in Morocco.There is 3 weeks we are back in the states and I lived there with him for 3 yrs.The things he is explaning arent necessarily the truth.I am not saying he is lying , just saying he is under the wrong impression.We where living in a large city but traveled alot and I never had any problems, alone or with him. We held hands and hugged and never where reprimanded but of course there where also alot of moroccans doing the same.I wish u luck and hope everything works itself out.

Justin! Hi....I am so happy you and Masako are finally 2gether I feel better this morning now that we finally discussed alot. Thank god I listened to so many on here's advice. I swear I hung onto every word everyone said for dear life . Thanks everyone. WOW It was like a crisis hotline for me yesterday.

It seems that what my husband does is he cuts to the bottom line when talking to me. Like instead of saying "I thought alot about us living in morocco and asked around and what I decided is that it will be very bad for us here for alot of reasons so I think it is best for us to try the UK or wait for our USA visa longer and whatever..." he actually says "we can't live in morocco, we won't have a good life here".

How can I train him to add more thoughts???? Is there a class for that? Or maybe a way for me to stop trying to figure out what he means so I won't get it all wrong? An Un-missunderstanding class. Or Dicifering (spelling) what your spouse is thinking or really means 1A. Filling in the missing links of your spouses conversation. God! What can I do???? If he was here in the flesh I could probably see his face and understand more but it's hard this way. And it does not get easier because i always think It won't happen again and it does. Well *deep breath* thanks everyone!!!!!

Hey Hijabi Princess Rajaa Spain sounds dreamy. I vote for spain! We talked about morocco in the beginning and I actually really wanted an apartment there in the city in meknes or? but when it became a more serious possibility to seek residency someplace other than the USA my husband asked around and everyone just told him it was a really bad idea and we would have alot happier life with better overall conditions else where. But I had not heard this before about maroc. Senior Member Martini *good lord*!

Well, My husband and family reside in Casablanca a large city...my husband is protective of me and didn't like the idea of me being out alone. In fact i was never out in public alone. We never show public affection as i am a Muslimah in Hijab and he feels it is disrespectrul and he/we are private he will hold my hand and guide me through the traffic. I don't smile at or look at men in the eyes as respect for my husband unless they are talking to me.

Am I safe there? Well Ex MI vet I had to get clearance prior to going there and was told to stay aware of things and away from large gatherings like market. Ie i believe they were more concerned about a grander scale thing happening then me being snatched and grabbed but that was it.

My MIL and family would love me to move there and eventually we will when the kids are older without fear so I am not certain what exactly he is referring too...the only reason we are not living there is cause of the kids i have 50% custody of and there is no work there. Whatever his reasons are i am sure he feels strongly about them.

Good luck.. our back up plan??? Madrid Spain, he's got work and I have family from there so me getting residancy a sinch

No Nick you have good points. I think you are correct and thanks for your message. Good perspective

Give him the benefit of the doubt and love him enough. I think he's hurting as much as you are and probably more because he might feel like he failed you when his visa was denied. I can understand why you feel exhausted and confused as to why he won't like you to live in his country. What you really feel is understandable and could be expected from someone who is really in love. But maybe, it will also be good if you would look at things from his perspective. I bet he is as confused and as exhausted as you are. I bet he feels so insecured and might be scared of what will happen to your relationship with him. If he's not the type that says what he feels, it is more likely that he would rather keep to himself his frustrations over the visa denial and his separation from you. Add also the fact that he lost his job in anticipation of the visa. He lost some things important to him, too and if he's depressed, I think it is but expected. Now that your husband feels weak,should you not be strong for him? Instead of doubting him, should you not focus on encouraging him?

I am sorry if my position is different from others. I wish you and you hubby the best.

I ask this because I have spent 5 weeks at a time in morocco and felt very safe and thought the local people were actually very kind and warm and I felt very safe. However my husband (from morocco) tells me that he does not want us to live in morocco (as a last resort) because he feels (altho visiting morocco is ok) alot of people are prejudiced against Americans because of the war and will be unkind to me. He feels living there would actually be dangerous for us both. He feels that if I knew the native languages fluently at least than I could defend myself if the say bad things to me but because he feels I do not understand and am too nice, I would just smile and somehow that would be worse. also we would be reprimanded if we show affection in public if we forget to control our actions. And that the government is very protective of americans and if anything happened to me he would be prosocuted and punished. WOW! He also said he would be so nervous to leave me alone that he would not be able to work like he would have to watch me all the time. I have not heard anyone else say this stuff. I mean he said he would love it if we could have a home there and visit but he just thinks it is not possible. What do you all think? Is this true? It seems crazy. He sounds like my parents before I went there the first time.

I just talked to him tonight and he explained it this way: Life will be really hard for us in morocco. He said some people do like americans but many do not and it will be dangerous for me there. He actually said it would be dangerous for both of us there. He said first of all he would not be able to work and would have to be with me all the time to keep me safe. Than he said if anything bad happened to me he would be punished and held responsible because the government is so protective and cares alot about americans. He also said because everyone will know I am an american it will be dangerous for both of us and because there is no public displays of affection allowed and it is very strictly controlled we would have to watch our every move in public so as not to be reprimanded. I do remember when I first arrived at the airport after being apart along time we were walking to the car and we could not stop from sharing a very quick kiss on the way thru the parking lot. I mean we did not even stop walking but a policeman told my husband to stop that! My husband told him I was his wife but he said well kiss your wife inside so people will not see it! So he might be right. We are usually in rabat or meknes. So not sure if they are worse but...that is how he feels. He has a brother that works at the ploice dept. and another one is a military police and I think a secret police or somethng so maybe they know more about it? He says we will have no problem going to the UK instead if we need to. But on the UK forum everyone told me it would be very hard. My husband says he has a cousin that will sponsor us both. I am exhausted

Hi,

I am from Morocco, and if he really said

"a lot of Moroccans are prejudice of Americans after 911 and would not be kind to me and he could not stand for that. ."

that is not true, that is a big RED FLAG, he does not want to be with you, it looks like he is trying to use you just to get here.

Good Luck.

Ah yes i really did not see it from that angle. Maybe he is thinking of what is best. He just keeps it to himself so much maybe so I have no clue. He does seem like the kind to not share his feeelings. This would be a problem in these situations. How can one even know what one does not share. It's very lonely actually. I tell everything I feeel and assume everyone does too but thats true many people keep feelings private and he is really that kind. Too bad for me tho.

Once again, noone can really know another person's true intentions at this point, so it is difficult to advise you on what you should do in so far as the marriage is concerned. I am surprised that you are less inclined to consider that it might be possible that he is thinking of what is best for both of you. You say he gave up his job, in anticipation of getting a visa. Your proposal to move there while you are waiting would place an additional financial strain on the marriage, one that right now does not exist with you remaining in the USA to see what comes of the visa application. It's true that love knows no boundaries, but flying in the face of reason, is reckless love. Take it from someone old enough to know that love adapts to times and circumstances, and may be deeper than it appears.

thank you so much for all of your prayers nitaandassaad they were not wasted I am sure they are why I am still able to live thru this. Bless you. I am so happy for you two. I am realizing still that this is really happening to me. Wish I did not love him as much as I do. God will help me. I know . If my husband did really love me like people have said, he would want me no matter how or where. It is I that would be sacrificing everything I have here. That says alot for his intention. He just did not love me.

Am sorry it has come to this Martini But you you know your marriage the best, follow your instincts.... Sometimes someone's true color come out in the most diffcult times and either you can get through the hard times and other times you can't... Everything is a test, if it's True Love it will Prevail!!

I wish you most luck and my thoughts are with you

Nita

You are so right! God is so big and powerful and great! He is bigger than anything could ever be on this earth. Nothing is too great for him. If it is his will for us to be together than nothing me or my husband can do will stop it. It just looks so unbelieveably lost to me at this time. And I am so beaten down that I can't even think of any clear decisions really. I just want to do what I feel is right. And I think I am trying to protect myself because I am so afraid of like EVERYTHING LOL. I don't want it to hurt more because I feel I can barely handle it now. I don't want to hear him tell me it is over because I think hearing it from him will kill me. I just want it to stop as pathetic as that sounds. Even if it means being alone. Do you ever just feel like you can't bare another thing???? I am there. I am finally there. I finally hit the wall. You guys...I am sorry i am doing this. But you are all so good to try to help. I am so fricking pathetic and noone in my life here even knows. I have to smile for everyone. They are all so happy for me...keep wanting to know when my husband will be here...I am so ashamed I wish I could disappear. I wish I could move. I could never tell them they would never understand and they would feel so bad for me and I could not bare it from them. God will help me

Martini.. Dont say he did not love you, he does, but perhaps he doesnt' love you ENOUGH...Or maybe he loves you too much and he doesn't want you to give up too much for him... When it comes to this long distance marriages, they can be VERY hard on us!! Testing our patience and Commitment. But each has to make Sacrifices for the other for this distance love to work! If you are willing to give it up everything here for a couple of months for him and your marriage, he should be too, but if he is not.. Then that is in GOD's hands...If it's met to be, then IT WILL BE!

Stay strong, you are a beautiful flower Martini....

Hugs

Nita

thank you so much for all of your prayers nitaandassaad they were not wasted I am sure they are why I am still able to live thru this. Bless you. I am so happy for you two. I am realizing still that this is really happening to me. Wish I did not love him as much as I do. God will help me. I know . If my husband did really love me like people have said, he would want me no matter how or where. It is I that would be sacrificing everything I have here. That says alot for his intention. He just did not love me.

Am sorry it has come to this Martini But you you know your marriage the best, follow your instincts.... Sometimes someone's true color come out in the most diffcult times and either you can get through the hard times and other times you can't... Everything is a test, if it's True Love it will Prevail!!

I wish you most luck and my thoughts are with you

Nita

thank you so much for all of your prayers nitaandassaad they were not wasted I am sure they are why I am still able to live thru this. Bless you. I am so happy for you two. I am realizing still that this is really happening to me. Wish I did not love him as much as I do. God will help me. I know . If my husband did really love me like people have said, he would want me no matter how or where. It is I that would be sacrificing everything I have here. That says alot for his intention. He just did not love me.

Am sorry it has come to this Martini But you you know your marriage the best, follow your instincts.... Sometimes someone's true color come out in the most diffcult times and either you can get through the hard times and other times you can't... Everything is a test, if it's True Love it will Prevail!!

I wish you most luck and my thoughts are with you

Nita

Yes...thank you. And happy that you found a true love

You know your husband oh not so well but its for you to decide. Just think of this, while we're waiting for my interview , i told my fiance to come here in the Philippines first to spend just a little time because the most important thing for me is to be with him. Love is being together wherever! Sorry to say this, He wants the visa more than you and the Consul Officer is really good at reading minds. You are beautiful and well its easy to say this, but a second divorce is better than being used!

yes he did have a good job in morocco. he quit it because he really thought he was coming here. And He used to always say morocco is full of nice people etc...only now he says the oposite so you may be correct. Thank you.

After my husband had his bad interview he was very sad. Sad because he felt his interviewer saw him as a criminal out for a visa, and that she was prejudice against him because of his being muslim..but (he did not mention) he was sad because it meant we would not be together soon. I comforted him and reassured him (like a supportive wife) but I wondered why not being together soon did not weigh higher on the list. As we discussed our options it became clear that (though he had always said he wanted to be with me together no matter where even in space) he did not really desire to live with me in his country Morocco. He said he never actually thought it would come to that. He thought we would get the visa eventually for him to come to the USA. Eventually and another suprise for me was that the man who could not wait for me to come to morocco the first time...was now willing to wait as long as it takes if it means coming HERE. I am really confused about how to take this. He always says we share a true love but as ROMANTIC as that sounds...True love for me means we are together no matter where. And asap! I waited 16 mos so far and visited 2 times in his country but I want to be together!!!! Maybe I am wrong to be so impatient, but because I always believed him when he said we could be together ANYWHERE....to me that time is now. I felt we could live in morocco together until we can come together here to the USA and at least be together waiting. But he made it clear he felt It would be too difficult for us there. He said alot of moroccans are perjudice of americans after 911 and would not be kind to me and he could not stand for that. He said I am too nice and they would know I am an american. He said I would get bored being alone while he worked and I would not find a good job there. He had alot of valid reasons it's just not what I was believeing from the start. Now I am second guessing alot of things he said we will do. Like stay together forever. Adopt a child if it becomes important to him to have one someday because I can not have more children? I am older than he is too so will that rise up to bite me? Is this a true love? I love his family. I believe they love me but it is he and I who are married. They are HIS family. They will accept whatever. They thing is he says we can try to go to the UK as an alternative but I asked on the uk forum and it looks like it will be really difficult at best so I don't feel hopeful. Alot of you here have said (which may be true) that we still have a chance to reverse the decision because we are a CR1 marriage visa and it just may take another year possibly less, but it is not so much that idea that makes me unwilling to wait as it is the question "what am I waiting for"? Possibly a husband that said alot of things just to please me and not have me believe that he pretty much wants a visa to come here. More than he wants me. I have tried to write him a dozen letters telling him how I feel but at the end of each one It becomes more clear to me that he wants to come here to leave his country and not to live with me anywhere necessary. I am disposable. I am not as important as I believed I was to him. I told him I never wanted another divorce (I was married before) but I feel like I have no choice. If he was honest and said I want to have a better life by leaving my country and going to the USA and I need to marry you to do it so we can tey to make a life together, but if that does not work, I will not want to stay married to you because I want that more than I want you. I would probably have passed. And I guess that is not much incentive to be honest is it. I now think that his interviewer could see more than me. I was jaded by what I wanted to believe. He will text me that he loves me always and I am his wife forever. But I don't believe those words because we are not together and can't have a marriage living seperately. Not a good one. I am sorry this is long. I just need to get it out so it is real to me .

Wow you guys this is going to be harder than I thought...I let myself really love him. Pray for me...I am strong but this is really hard.

hi ,

Am so sorry to read this , But if your man has a job in Morocco and doesnt want you to come that means he doesnt want you nor loves you , he just want to move and better his life . his saying :He said :alot of moroccans are perjudice of americans after 911 and would not be kind to me and he could not stand for that. . tha is not true at all, Moroccans love americans, asians, jewish and all humain beings, the only creature we hate is a man with a double face just like your man. am so sorry but it is the reality gazing at herself in a Mirror.

I do not think he cares what I decide. We are not talking to each other. I told him by text where I am with it all and he just says he loves me. But he is not trying to stop my from divorcing. I feel that he just does not want to feel responsible for making that dicision and is leaving it to me. I am just going to stop the petition at this point. I really do not feel confident about out future based on our comunication. But I need the proper forms to stop the petition and the rules governing it also.

After my husband had his bad interview he was very sad. Sad because he felt his interviewer saw him as a criminal out for a visa, and that she was prejudice against him because of his being muslim..but (he did not mention) he was sad because it meant we would not be together soon. I comforted him and reassured him (like a supportive wife) but I wondered why not being together soon did not weigh higher on the list. As we discussed our options it became clear that (though he had always said he wanted to be with me together no matter where even in space) he did not really desire to live with me in his country Morocco. He said he never actually thought it would come to that. He thought we would get the visa eventually for him to come to the USA. Eventually and another suprise for me was that the man who could not wait for me to come to morocco the first time...was now willing to wait as long as it takes if it means coming HERE. I am really confused about how to take this. He always says we share a true love but as ROMANTIC as that sounds...True love for me means we are together no matter where. And asap! I waited 16 mos so far and visited 2 times in his country but I want to be together!!!! Maybe I am wrong to be so impatient, but because I always believed him when he said we could be together ANYWHERE....to me that time is now. I felt we could live in morocco together until we can come together here to the USA and at least be together waiting. But he made it clear he felt It would be too difficult for us there. He said alot of moroccans are perjudice of americans after 911 and would not be kind to me and he could not stand for that. He said I am too nice and they would know I am an american. He said I would get bored being alone while he worked and I would not find a good job there. He had alot of valid reasons it's just not what I was believeing from the start. Now I am second guessing alot of things he said we will do. Like stay together forever. Adopt a child if it becomes important to him to have one someday because I can not have more children? I am older than he is too so will that rise up to bite me? Is this a true love? I love his family. I believe they love me but it is he and I who are married. They are HIS family. They will accept whatever. They thing is he says we can try to go to the UK as an alternative but I asked on the uk forum and it looks like it will be really difficult at best so I don't feel hopeful. Alot of you here have said (which may be true) that we still have a chance to reverse the decision because we are a CR1 marriage visa and it just may take another year possibly less, but it is not so much that idea that makes me unwilling to wait as it is the question "what am I waiting for"? Possibly a husband that said alot of things just to please me and not have me believe that he pretty much wants a visa to come here. More than he wants me. I have tried to write him a dozen letters telling him how I feel but at the end of each one It becomes more clear to me that he wants to come here to leave his country and not to live with me anywhere necessary. I am disposable. I am not as important as I believed I was to him. I told him I never wanted another divorce (I was married before) but I feel like I have no choice. If he was honest and said I want to have a better life by leaving my country and going to the USA and I need to marry you to do it so we can tey to make a life together, but if that does not work, I will not want to stay married to you because I want that more than I want you. I would probably have passed. And I guess that is not much incentive to be honest is it. I now think that his interviewer could see more than me. I was jaded by what I wanted to believe. He will text me that he loves me always and I am his wife forever. But I don't believe those words because we are not together and can't have a marriage living seperately. Not a good one. I am sorry this is long. I just need to get it out so it is real to me .

Wow you guys this is going to be harder than I thought...I let myself really love him. Pray for me...I am strong but this is really hard.

Barbarions!!!!! Or how ever it is spelled.....This world is so full of cruelty and evil ... This has to be the real hell...but all that aside I just hope your husband can get out of that country asap! And until than Run Forest! Run!

My husbands interviewer actually told him to stop "explaining" and just answer yes or no. I also think he made the mistake of answering some important questions with "iNSHA aLLAH" as in How long will you be with your wife? answer : we can not know the future only god can know that. The interviewer wanted "forever" Thanks Honey

the key is to prepare for the interview, ya this is what i m talking about. Not like some people told us bring just 10pictures and the marriage certifi thats all, but i swear if i did what they told to my wife by now we will be still stacking between NVC and the embassy.My advise is bring to the interview all what u can,500pictures or more, 1000of emails and chats logs, proof of relationship the same bank account,house under bouth names... and the most important thing is beeing more than nice and polite with the interviewer, listen carrefuly,shorts answers... And be sure u gonna have the visa for 100%

Absolutely!!!!!!

the key is to prepare for the interview.

HELLO EVERYONE

JUST WONDERING HAS ANYONE NOTICED THAT WHEN THE INTERVIEWS COME AROUND.... THE MALE INTERVIEWER APPROVES THE APPLICANT QUICKER THAN A FEMALE INTERVIEWER....

I THINK THE KEY IS PRAY FOR A MALE INTERVIEWER LOL