AichaKandisha

I agree MBP. I think Dee is handling this in the best way she can given the circumstances. Dee is smart and I have faith in her that she is doing the best she can.

Anyone want to join forces with me in praying for her throughout each day and throughout this Ramadan?

Dee, I'm really late coming into this thread but I've been reading and following your posts all along. My heart goes out to you and what you're going through. I can relate to the feelings that you're describing. They are all too familiar from a past relationship.

Nothing in your posts have said to me that you are a bad mother at all. Someone else had called you a survivor a while ago and that is the first thought that comes to mind about you. The actions of your husband in no way reflect who you are as a person or a mother. They speak volumes about him but say nothing about you. All that I've seen is you trying your heart out to make this situation work and make it better for your children. That shows me your strength in trying to work through problems. There is nothing to be ashamed about with that. You are a survivor, resourceful, full of strength, guts, perseverence and tenacity. There certainly is nothing to be ashamed about there. With all of those things you are also beautiful and have one h@ll of a sense of humor to boot.

I hope you can give yourself a break and realize what you've been through over the past few weeks and give yourself a huge pat on the back and hold your head high because you have come this far. You are a MENA diva and you deserve to be treated as such. Don't let yourself or anyone else make you think any different.

i remember that post regaring the "my moroccan" stuff. i actually remember it being directed at me, not you, me&him. but i guess you could definitely have been included in that too! actually when i saw your user name it reminded me of all that drama that came about with one of my first posts in MENA.

sereia is portuguese for mermaid

So you were the lucky one?! Someone had PM'd me to ask me why I changed my name and asked if it was because of that thread. I had no idea what she was talking about so I assumed the thread was about me. I'm sorry it was you! I'm glad you're still posting despite any drama in the beginning.

My original name was me&mymoroccan. I then changed it to menmy because I thought the other name looked too long. Also others abbreviated me&mymoroccan to me&my. I tried to change it to me&my but it gave an error, so I just put menmy. Apparently, me&mymoroccan was the subject of a discussion that I was told about after the fact. I guess some people took offense at using me&mymoroccan as being demeaning or condescending in some way. I missed that thread somehow so I had no idea, otherwise I would have responded.

The reason I first chose me&mymoroccan was because it was a 'kidding' kind of name that I used with my fiance. I always had questions about Morocco and why they do this or that. Sometimes, the reasons would make me laugh or giggle so I would say many times something about 'those crazy Moroccans'. My fiance even says many times things about 'crazy Moroccans'. All of it is in a complete light-hearted and joking manner and it just became a joke between us. I call him my Moroccan or my crazy Moroccan every now and then. He laughs right along with me so it was and never has been to demean or hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope that the "unfunny" police don't give you ####### for it. Sometimes I think that humor isn't allowed here. I would say that most of us here know what you are saying and that you aren't trying to demean anyone.

I'm glad that you understand. The "unfunny" police seem to enjoy creating something negative out of the most miniscule (sp?) things a lot of times. I guess trying to create negative drama is more fun than enjoying each others' differences, opinions and senses of humor.

Hmmm, well this seems to be negative drama in and of itself...

It was an attempt at humor.

Give me my unfunny police badge then please. I'm having a really bad VJ day.

I understand bad days. In all sincerity, I hope the rest of your VJ day gets better.

My original name was me&mymoroccan. I then changed it to menmy because I thought the other name looked too long. Also others abbreviated me&mymoroccan to me&my. I tried to change it to me&my but it gave an error, so I just put menmy. Apparently, me&mymoroccan was the subject of a discussion that I was told about after the fact. I guess some people took offense at using me&mymoroccan as being demeaning or condescending in some way. I missed that thread somehow so I had no idea, otherwise I would have responded.

The reason I first chose me&mymoroccan was because it was a 'kidding' kind of name that I used with my fiance. I always had questions about Morocco and why they do this or that. Sometimes, the reasons would make me laugh or giggle so I would say many times something about 'those crazy Moroccans'. My fiance even says many times things about 'crazy Moroccans'. All of it is in a complete light-hearted and joking manner and it just became a joke between us. I call him my Moroccan or my crazy Moroccan every now and then. He laughs right along with me so it was and never has been to demean or hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope that the "unfunny" police don't give you ####### for it. Sometimes I think that humor isn't allowed here. I would say that most of us here know what you are saying and that you aren't trying to demean anyone.

I'm glad that you understand. The "unfunny" police seem to enjoy creating something negative out of the most miniscule (sp?) things a lot of times. I guess trying to create negative drama is more fun than enjoying each others' differences, opinions and senses of humor.

Hmmm, well this seems to be negative drama in and of itself...

It was an attempt at humor.

My original name was me&mymoroccan. I then changed it to menmy because I thought the other name looked too long. Also others abbreviated me&mymoroccan to me&my. I tried to change it to me&my but it gave an error, so I just put menmy. Apparently, me&mymoroccan was the subject of a discussion that I was told about after the fact. I guess some people took offense at using me&mymoroccan as being demeaning or condescending in some way. I missed that thread somehow so I had no idea, otherwise I would have responded.

The reason I first chose me&mymoroccan was because it was a 'kidding' kind of name that I used with my fiance. I always had questions about Morocco and why they do this or that. Sometimes, the reasons would make me laugh or giggle so I would say many times something about 'those crazy Moroccans'. My fiance even says many times things about 'crazy Moroccans'. All of it is in a complete light-hearted and joking manner and it just became a joke between us. I call him my Moroccan or my crazy Moroccan every now and then. He laughs right along with me so it was and never has been to demean or hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope that the "unfunny" police don't give you ####### for it. Sometimes I think that humor isn't allowed here. I would say that most of us here know what you are saying and that you aren't trying to demean anyone.

I'm glad that you understand. The "unfunny" police seem to enjoy creating something negative out of the most miniscule (sp?) things a lot of times. I guess trying to create negative drama is more fun than enjoying each others' differences, opinions and senses of humor.

My original name was me&mymoroccan. I then changed it to menmy because I thought the other name looked too long. Also others abbreviated me&mymoroccan to me&my. I tried to change it to me&my but it gave an error, so I just put menmy. Apparently, me&mymoroccan was the subject of a discussion that I was told about after the fact. I guess some people took offense at using me&mymoroccan as being demeaning or condescending in some way. I missed that thread somehow so I had no idea, otherwise I would have responded.

The reason I first chose me&mymoroccan was because it was a 'kidding' kind of name that I used with my fiance. I always had questions about Morocco and why they do this or that. Sometimes, the reasons would make me laugh or giggle so I would say many times something about 'those crazy Moroccans'. My fiance even says many times things about 'crazy Moroccans'. All of it is in a complete light-hearted and joking manner and it just became a joke between us. I call him my Moroccan or my crazy Moroccan every now and then. He laughs right along with me so it was and never has been to demean or hurt anyone's feelings.

I understand wanting to be called Mrs So and so... but.. marriage IS all about the love and actions... not the titles.. and words

plus.. his last name didnt flow with my name

The only way I could love being called Mr. and Mrs. is because of the love and actions in the marriage. If there weren't any love and actions behind that, it wouldn't be endearing at all. I hated being called Mr. and Mrs. in my first marriage. I couldn't change my name back to my maiden name fast enough.

My last name and his last name don't flow together at all but I still hyphenated it anyway. My name, my ex's name and my husband's name are all hard to pronounce so it's nothing new for me.

I changed my name with my first husband and changed it back to my maiden name after I divorced. Decided to hyphenate this time with my maiden name and my husband's name. My main reason for doing this was because it made it simpler professionally. Otherwise, I would have gladly taken his name only. Even with me having the hyphenated name, people still call us Mr. and Mrs. I love hearing Mr. and Mrs.

Finding a job is frustrating even when you are from here; sadly enough. It's even more frustrating when you're not from here.

When my husband first got here he was bound and determined to find a job. I helped him get a resume together and helped him find all of the websites to apply online. He then applied at nearly every store in the area that had a 'Help Wanted' sign in the window. He took the first job offered to him which was McDonald's. Yes McDonald's. He hated it after the first day but he stayed for a while anyway. He was happy to just have a job. I was proud of him for getting one.

He had to quit after filing for AOS. In the meantime he was applying all over. He has a degree in computers and he applied for a temporary job in data entry. He was asked for an interview and they were impressed with him and they told him to call them as soon as he got his EAD. He called them back after finally getting the EAD and he is now working for them. He started in data entry and in two days they moved him up to working side-by-side with the team leader and manager in the Software Testing and Development department at an Educational Company. They kicked a person out of this office to fit him in it. The team leader and manager are trying to get the company to agree to let him have his own project.

I can't be more proud of him (except he now brings his work home ).

My husband agrees with moody's husband about Arabs here. He stays away from them and said that if he would work for one of them they would pay him as little as they could get by with.

My husband didn't know anyone when he got here and no one helped him get a job. My advice is to keep looking and applying. It is time consuming, frustrating and can be exhausting but eventually it will pay off. Also, don't forget about temporary employment agencies.

Don't give up and don't let your husband give up. He will get a job if he keeps trying!

These are the things we're experiencing in this house. Joel was fine health wise until he moved here...now he's on cholesterol meds and blood pressure meds and a lot of the symptoms below are me right now. Our daughter has just recently (like in the last month or two) been diagnosed as having Petit Mal Seizures (a type of epilepsy) and has also been diagnosed with learning disabilities about two years ago. It scares me...

I'm so sorry to hear this! It is scary. All of these symptoms I never dreamed could be caused by mold. The pediatricians and my doctors wouldn't consider mold as a problem. My child was just diagnosed 2 weeks ago with a learning disability and my husband who has been here for 5 months has a lot of these symptoms too.

I kept telling myself I was overreacting to blame these things on the mold. Now I'm angry that we have all wasted so much time and money not feeling well and it's because of this house.

Top 100 Mold Health Symptoms

I have 51 of these symptoms:

1. abdominal pain

2. abnormal pap smears

3. acid reflux / indigestion

4. acne

5. allergies and anaphylaxis [severe allergic reaction]

6. altered immunity

7. asthma and asthmatic signs [sudden onset asthma, increased asthma attacks,

wheezing, shortness in breath, coughing, burning in lungs]

8. balance problems

9. bladder and kidney pain

10. bleeding lungs

11. blood pressure irregularities

12. body aches and muscle pains

13. breathing difficulties [tightness in chest, shortness of breath]

14. bruising easily

15. burning in mouth, throat and lungs similar to acid reflux

16. cancer

17. central nervous system effects

18. chills

19. choking

20. cholesterol or triglycerides irregularities

21. chronic fatigue (chronic, excessive or continued) and/or general malaise

22. chronic sinus infections

23. coated tongue

24. colds, recurring and with decreased resistance to infections

25. constipation

26. dandruff problems (chronic) that won’t go away despite use of anti-dandruff shampoos

27. dark urine

28. death in extreme cases

29. depression/anxiety/dementia

30. dermatitis and skin rashes

31. diarrhea

32. difficulty concentrating

33. difficulty in swallowing

34. dirt-like taste in mouth

35. dizziness

36. dry, hacking cough or coughing up blood [resulting to sore lungs/chest due to excessive coughing]

37. early menopause

38. eye and vision problems

39. eye irritation (burning, watery, or reddened eyes)

40. face flushing intermittently

41. facial movements inadvertently or extreme jerking

42. feeling lost or disconnected from what’s happening around you

43. feelings of hopelessness

44. fevers

45. fibromyalgia [chronic fatigue and widespread pain]

46. food allergies

47. frequent bloody noses

48. frequent infections

49. hair loss

50. headaches/migraines

51. heart attack

52. hemorrhagic or hypersensitivity pneumonitis [extrinsic allergic alveolitis, or farmers’ lung disease]

53. hypersensitivity to mold

54. indigestion [heartburn / acid reflux ]

55. infertility

56. irritability, mood swings, spleen pain or sudden personality changes

57. irritable bowel syndrome

58. itching of the nose, mouth, eyes, throat, skin or any area

59. kidney pain and failure

60. large boils on neck

61. leaky gut syndrome

62. liver pain

63. long lasting flu-like symptoms

64. memory loss or learning difficulties [brain fog, confusion, Alzheimer’s-like symptoms]

65. metallic taste in mouth

66. multiple chemical sensitivity

67. night sweats and hot flashes

68. nose or throat irritation

69. nosebleeds

70. numbness in face and limbs

71. open skin sores and lacerations

72. open sores on head

73. organic dust toxic syndrome

74. peripheral nervous system effects

75. physical weakness

76. poor appetite

77. puffy or droopy eyes

78. rashes or hives

79. redness of the sclera (white portion of your eyes)

80. respiratory distress

81. ringing in ears

82. runny nose (rhinitis), clear, thin, watery mucus from your nose may appear suddenly, or thick,

green slime coming out of nose (from sinus cavities)

83. seizures

84. sensitivity to smells / odors

85. sinus congestion, sinus problems, chronic sinusitis and other nasal problems

86. skin rashes or irritation

87. skin redness

88. sleep disorders

89. slurred speech or verbal dysfunction (trouble in speaking)

90. sneezing fits (more than three sneezes in a row, happening often)

91. spitting up mucous

92. swollen glands

93. swollen lymph nodes

94. systemic candida infection

95. tremors (shaking)

96. unexplained fevers

97. urinary tract infection (uti)

98. vertigo or dizziness

99. vomiting (nausea)

100. women’s health problems [such as endometriosis and vaginal yeast infections].

I've been seeing doctors for over 5 months and have been in the hospital. I mentioned that I had mold in my house but they shrugged it off.

I agree. Walk in someone else's shoes before you pass judgement.

Ditto.

It makes me wonder what these people are like in their daily lives with people face to face, or at work, with their families, fiance/spouse. I can't help but think that if they are so judgemental here that they live in 'real' life like that (or does that make me judgemental ).

Thank you all for your replies. I made several calls today and where I live there is a County Building Inspector that will check for mold and other problems in rental properties. I also found out that if I can show that there is mold in the house, I can take the legal route to try and recover medical costs and loss of work pay from my landlord. In March I was in the hospital for an unexplained infection and I haven't been able to work since because of continuous pain and fatigue.

I'm sorry to hear about those that have had their health affected by mold in their house as well. It is pretty scary to think that your own home is making you sick.

Hopefully tomorrow I will know more information and get an inspection scheduled ASAP.

Yes this is waaaaaay off topic in VJ but I thought I'd throw it out here.

I have been fighting the landlord about cleaning up mold that has grown on the walls, in closets and cabinets and complaining to him about fixing leaking pipes and moisture on the walls, etc., etc. He gave me a dehumidifier and a fan to blow on the walls. He was going to re-caulk the bathroom around the shower/tub but he only came and removed it and hasn't been back to put the caulk back on. The shower has cracks in it so the water is running into the walls and with no caulk on the bathtub it is running into the walls from there too.

I have been having to clean up mold and dry out the carpets and other furniture continuously. I know that to stop the mold you have to stop the moisture. I told him that the gutters needed to be cleaned out and he got angry with me because I let them get so bad and I should have told him about it right away (I don't frequent the roof to know if they need to be cleaned-isn't that his job??). When I complained that I was tired of cleaning up the mold he brought me some mold cleaner and some rags.

I've been living in this rental house since June, 2006. My child has had unexplained fevers and stomach aches since then and I began having abdominal pain and unexplained fevers since September, 2006. I have taken my child to several doctors and none can figure out what is wrong. I have been tested in EVERY way possible (you name it - multiple CT scans, endoscopies, x-rays, blood work, cultures, colonoscopy, etc.).

Normally I am a healthy person and so is my child. I am usually full of energy and very proactive. It takes nearly every bit of energy I have to get out of bed now.

Could these symptoms be caused by mold???? Anyone else gone through something like this or know of someone that has gone through something like this? What are my rights as a tenant to get the landlord to do something? I have 3 months left on my lease.

Sometimes it is the American (female) spouse/fiance duping the ME/NA spouse/fiance. Even active on VJ.

I haven't been a member long but I have been reading on this sight for quite a while.

It is sad that there are so many people gone that have had so much experience and great advice to offer. I noticed that for some, it seemed that once they were reunited with their SO's it appeared to give a few permission to say whatever they wanted, however they wanted. Did anyone else notice that? Or when people began to speak 'freely' it opened up the gates for others to follow and to throw caution into the wind.

Also, there are so many new people that have been arriving in this forum and it is so refreshing to see their positive and optimistic views. I guess though just like all relationships, the newness wears off and we all settle into our true selves.

I miss the great threads and great advice but I will never miss the fighting. If that means it has to be boring, then I'll take boring. Debating, discussing, sharing opinions/views/feelings/advice/suggestions/celebrations in a respectful and decent manner is what I look forward to participating in and reading for the future.

Respect attracts respect. Not everyone is all good or all bad. I still remember fondly the great things about past members and those that aren't around so much. Each brought/brings their own good things as well as bad. I hope that we can be more focused on the good.

me&mymoroccan

And another question when filling out this form.....When it asks for my husbands USCIS status...do I put none? or visitor? and for date it expries, put the date it DID expire? forgive me lol.

I just got done speaking with USCIS and asked about this very same question. Our cases are different in that my husband entered on a fiance visa (K-1). Since we are now married, the K-1 technically isn't valid anymore, so I had no idea what to put for the answer to that question on the I-485. USCIS asked me under what status did he enter the US? I said the K-1 and she said that is what you need to put as your answer.

It wouldn't hurt to call the USCIS to double check though since our cases aren't the exact same even though I think the answer may very well be the same.

If my question wasn't clear, I apologize. If it was clear and just not as obvious to me as it seemingly was to most, then I also apologize.

I called USCIS and they told me that I will need to have a copy of his original 'untranslated' birth certificate along with the English translated version. We had the English translated version which I was hoping would be good enough but according to the representative at USCIS that I just spoke with, they also require a copy of the 'untranslated' version.

From the information in this forum I only found where people had questions about only having the 'untranslated' version and needing to get it translated.

Just wanted to follow up in case it wasn't as obvious to someone else in the future.

For AOS, the guides say to send a copy of the beneficiary's birth certificate and a copy of the English translation of the birth certificate.

Since we only have the English translated birth certificate (certified), is that good enough or should I take the time to get the 'untranslated' version sent to us from Morocco (which could take who knows how long)?

Has anyone had success with sending only the English translated birth certificate?

I apologize in advance if this has been posted already (I couldn't find it anywhere).

Thanks for your help ahead of time!

"It says that when students feel upset, they should remember that the red light means to stop, calm down and think before they act. The yellow light prompts them to weigh a range of responses, and their consequences. The green light urges them to try the best response."

IT seems lately most have been trying this, hopefully it will continue. There are many good people here and it will continue

I enjoy this forum and I am sorry that things are not the way they used to be. This forum is like family and it has helped me out so much. I only hope that I will be able to help at least one person out that comes here to look for an answer to "Pay It Forward."

All families have good times and bad ones, that is why it is called unconditional love.

Sherrie

interesting. rather than blame others, why not state its a shame to have participated in said negativity of this forum. i know i am.

it's easier to blame someone else and avoid any responsibility if jp had a problem with me i'd rather she had pm'ed me

interesting. rather than blame others, why not state its a shame to have participated in said negativity of this forum. i know i am.

It is easier to blame others. Frankly, I'm feeling no pain. If someone chooses to martyr themselves on the pier of self-pity because of this forum, so be it. There are people here who make it painful for me to be here (fewer of them now), and when I see them blaming others instead of looking at themselves, I just shake my head. If it wasn't so gross and abnormal, I would laugh. What's done is done. You can make things better from here or keep looking back. I don't plan to beat a dead horse to mourn about what supposedly used to be, but then, I lost my rose-colored glasses long ago.

Nope your right, there are not to many here not guilty in some ways at different times and a few more than others. Everyone was fighting when i first came and it continued. Blame comes very easy to some, alot easier than saying i to am to blame and im sorry. This or any other forum will only be as good as the people want it to be.

Change is a good thing! It is likely that there will be others that come along to replace the roles that past members played. However, hopefully this means a change for the better; a new and improved, kinder, gentler ME/NA. As was mentioned, this forum is only as good as the people who are here and participating. I'm excited to see what unfolds with this forum. It's purpose is a great one. Let's make it great.

I'm just cracking up over your avatar

Napolean, don't be jealous because I've been chatting online with babes, ALL DAY!

Tina come get some dinner!

Again, I'm finding ANYTHING to do BUT my job!

This may be moved to OT, but I was just curious about everyone in ME/NA since the daily threads have several thoughts expressed about job dissatisfaction.

Are you genuinely happy in your job?

I was just wondering if anyone is genuniely happy in their job, and if so what is it what you do, and what makes you so happy about it everyday?

Also what were you doing before your current job, and what changes did you make so that you would be happy going to work?

If you aren’t happy with your job, what job would make you look forward to going to work?

If you aren’t happy, why do you stay in a job that you aren’t happy with?

Personally, I have been in my occupation for 16 years. I never dreamed that this is what I'd be doing. It's a good occupation. For a few years now though I've been thinking about if this is really what I am meant to do and is this really what I want to do the rest of my life? The answer is always no. I have an idea about what I would like to do and what I would like to spend the rest of my life doing, but I haven't taken any major steps to moving in that direction. Mostly because of fear of the unknown I believe.

Any one else have these same thoughts and feelings?

My husband wasn't fond of having a cat inside before he got here. Boy do things change. You would swear it was his child now. He worries about him and is always wanting to make sure he is okay. Not only does he sleep with him at night, he DREAMS about him. My hubby fell asleep on the couch a few nights ago and I was on the laptop computer (no doubt reading VJ). He started kicking his feet. I asked him what is wrong?? He said that he was dreaming that he was holding our cat to protect him from wild dogs and cats and he was kicking them away.

I'm beginning to wonder if he'd save the cat before me...

We even went to a movie the other night (Babel-great for your hubby's to see especially if they are from Morocco-great for the wive's to see because of Brad Pitt ). There was a cat in the movie and on the way home he said he wondered how our cat was doing at home. He said the cat in the movie reminded him of our cat. I was going to ask if the blonde in the movie reminded him of me. But I didn't.