Jaybird225

So you spoke with an attorney to get good solid legal advice from a professional and then having received that advice you showed up here to ask some non-attorneys?
 
When taken together with the story told in the original post, I'm smelling a troll.

Best thing to do. Divorce. Go back to your country. Have your new love apply for k1 visa. 
 
There is absolutely nothing you can do to obtain a legal status from within the US. K1 beneficiaries only get green cards through their petitioners. 
 
On a personal note: that was fast. Came here in April, divorce and already met someone new you are willing to marry. 
 
Either way. Time to pack your bags. 

I agree with you. Love is not enough and I've said the exact thing to him before. Just an update... He ended up leaving. In a very immature way. Of course was drunk at rhe bar just got his things and left. Very manipulative man. I just really encourage people to know exactly what they are getting into with  long distance relationships. The person through the phone can portray themselves the way they want to be perceived. Glad this chapter in my life is closed and thanks for the kind words 

Love is not enough.  Both dishonesty and alcohol issues are deal breakers.  I hope you find the courage to dump this guy.

Thanks for the advice and thoughts. I really beat up on myself and feel like I'm in the wrong. He has a way of making me feel sorry for him because he left everything. But it was his choice. I don't want to sit here and bash him. I do love him and think he's a good guy.. But I'm finding that maybe he's not the guy for me. I just don't know how to tell him without him making me feel terrible or it blowing up. I feel that I have good intentions. I want both of us happy. And it does feel like I've got 2 kids. Constantly worried about if he'll be getting home drunk tonight, if he's lieing to me (he has a history of being dishonest), or if I have someone to be there for my son and I. If things don't get better then he will have to leave. He's 39 and I'm 29. I'm just tired of immature men that I've gotta take care of. Im done with all the partying and being wild and crazy. Maybe I just had a dream of what it would be like once he's here and that's not really happening. But I can only compromise my own happiness for so long I think. He's told me before that he's not going to change and that's fine. But he's also told me lies like how he wants a family and to be responsible. So which one is it? Based on his actions he would rather be irresponsible so hopefully I can have a mature conversation with him and we can figure things out. 

Thanks for the advice and thoughts. I really beat up on myself and feel like I'm in the wrong. He has a way of making me feel sorry for him because he left everything. But it was his choice. I don't want to sit here and bash him. I do love him and think he's a good guy.. But I'm finding that maybe he's not the guy for me. I just don't know how to tell him without him making me feel terrible or it blowing up. I feel that I have good intentions. I want both of us happy. And it does feel like I've got 2 kids. Constantly worried about if he'll be getting home drunk tonight, if he's lieing to me (he has a history of being dishonest), or if I have someone to be there for my son and I. If things don't get better then he will have to leave. He's 39 and I'm 29. I'm just tired of immature men that I've gotta take care of. Im done with all the partying and being wild and crazy. Maybe I just had a dream of what it would be like once he's here and that's not really happening. But I can only compromise my own happiness for so long I think. He's told me before that he's not going to change and that's fine. But he's also told me lies like how he wants a family and to be responsible. So which one is it? Based on his actions he would rather be irresponsible so hopefully I can have a mature conversation with him and we can figure things out. 

So the experience from someone that has tried to make a relationship work for 4 years, and has gone through a divorce: I get it, but it might not be worth the trouble. 
I have to say I understand how hard it is to try to hold on because of all the years of hard work and legal process, but the fact is, unless you both try to find counseling (which you mentioned you don't have time for) and you both want to make it work, is highly unlikely he will recognize his wrong doings.
It's also incredibly difficult to fully know someone, especially living apart. Everything seems ''wonderful'' when you're not making it work 24/7. So things do inevitably change once you're in person. 
most importantly, you have your kid to take care of, both physically and emotionally. 
By all means talk to him, try to work it out. Bur expect him not to want to change, as well.

It sounds like you have two children now. You are not his maid, his mum, and should not be doing everything on your own.
 
Is he here visiting or is he here on a spousal visa? 
 
You cannot put yourself through this and less your child. I would tell him to go to AA meetings and start helping around the house. Otherwise, he should leave. Unfortunately, if you leave the situation as it is, it could get worse over time. 
 
I would not think it as "he left his life for me". He made the choice and he is not even taking advantage of being there with you. You also made the choice is sticking with him even though he lived very far away, so you didn't have it easy either. 
 
 

Personally, I would not spend time being miserable. I have been through that. I have kids and was divorced. But for a decade I tried, made excuses for him and tried to change myself, etc. 
Sometimes if you have fundamental differences, you have to know when to call it a day, so to speak. Just because he came here, doesn't mean you are responsible for putting up with bad behavior. As a nurse, I think we tend to enable and want to nurture. But many people will take advantage of your good nature. You have a tough job and are responsible for your child. I would find you well within your rights to tell him he gets 2 drunken nights in a month, and that's it. Plus he has to step up and be an equal in caring for your son, who cares if he doesn't have kids, you are part of a package with your dear son, and that is non negotiable. He isn't being a good role model either to your son.
Anyway, as the previous person said, it is your marriage and your life too. I wish you the best. But clear and firm expectations is a good start IMO.