sercontigo

I am happy for you both CONGRATULATIONS!

THANKS FOR UR REPLY, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER IT'S GOING TO TAKE FOR EVER. I HAVE LOST OF HOPE NOW.

Dont give up. Be strong...all things must come to an end. And the end of this whole process is what you are living for. I wish you the best and I wish emotional strength upon you.

Let him take a long rest and pamper him all day long! He deserves it. Welcome Home!!!

One thing is for sure, I have really gotten to know this man in this time. We talk almost every day for an hour or so. I read VJ and go through every scenario that I can in order to really keep growing in knowledge of him. I have even used questions from online relationship quizzes!

I not only love him so much, but I feel a stronger bond with him, like a comeradery ...he's a really good friend to me. I think that the distance has helped me on a personal level to develop patience, something I was seriously lacking before I met him.

I have also learned about me in the process. What I can and cannot endure...as you all must know...it gets hard sometimes being without a loved one. I feel stronger having waited so long...(we met in Summer 05).

And finally for me, the sexual tension is hard too. Sometimes I feel grateful that we don't have the distraction of sex because we are "really getting to know each other on a higher level". But then I go to bed at night and think..."Who am I kidding...I need sex!!!"

***Sorry if that was too personal, its been awhile you know)

No WOMAN should ever disclose her age after 28, so there that settles it.

I guess I didn't realize this could happen in reading posts in the past, but my fiance David has been to Lagos twice and has yet two more trips to make.

1. He initially went to Lagos to retrieve Packets 3 & 4 in November. He was able to complete one part of his medical exam and was given another date to return for the remainder.

2. He went to Lagos again this week. He had some immunizations that require him to go back in January. He did get his police report on this visit.

3. He's going in Jan to finish the immunizations.

4. He will be going 7 Feb for the actual interview.

Wow 4 trips!!! Is everyone experiencing this?

Honesty in this process is imperative. Keep your words simple... just say that you were introduced through mutual friends, who some are members of his family and met in person during your visit to Ghana. Don't screw this up...tell the truth.

I love this thread.....keep 'em coming !

I think the MENA group had something like this thread.

It may be a good idea for those who are close in the area to exchange phone numbers

for a good support.

Any one in the ST. Louis metro area ?

Can't think of any other issues right now but I am sure there will be many when he finally gets here.

I love the idea of a DC area group for intercultural relationships. If any one is interested please PM or email me. I'd love to hook up for coffee or something. Thanks for all of the advice. It makes me feel better knowing that I need to learn about the culture.

MONEY: Re: money we're working things out. I think he has some misconceptions about how much money I make and about the concept of me being broke. And I think it might be a good idea for him to pay the bills for a while so that he can understand the pain and heartache we all go through paying bills every month. He doesn't make enough to pay all of the bills so any advice would be welcomed. I probably do come down hard on him about things. I'm a bit of a perfectionist (hence the reason why I forbid him from wearing the leather jacket and also from wearing white socks with black shoes).

SOCIALIZING. I noticed while I was in Ethiopia that men socialize with other men. I kept asking him, "where are the women? Are they at home?" We go out to the movies and restaurants togehter. We'll also go to Starbucks and relax there, too.

The issue with socializing, which is a cultural issue for us, is that he DOES NOT like for me to go out at night with my friends. He's muslim and says that in his culture a woman is considered a "garden tool" if she's out past midnight. Now, we don't argue about this. He trusts me but it still makes him mad if I stay out late -- even if I'm just chilling at a friends' house. Also, if I go out and have one drink, as soon as I walk in the door he's like the alcohol police. He'll say, "Your drrrrunk." (you know rolling the r's) And, of course, i defend myself and prove that I'm sober. Its very funny. I'll have two drinks and he'll swear that I'm totally drunk. I tell him, "Dude, you've never seen me drunk. It takes more than two glasses of wine"

The question about culture is how do you identify a conflict as culture instead of personality??? How have people had the patience to sit back and say, "What just happened?" before it becomes an arguement??

I hope we can keep this discussion going.

The rolling R comment was pretty funny..."drrrrunk"!!

My fiance moved to a new apartment in Accra a few weeks ago, but his mailing address is still the same. His mailing address is listed on the I-129F, but I included an addendum listing his physical address as well. We're still waiting on our NOA2, so should we contact USCIS now to notify them of his address change or wait to notify the embassy in Accra once they receive our packet? I know everyone in Ghana receives mail via P.O Box, so I don't foresee this as creating a huge problem for us. But I'm sure we should notify someone of his physical address change.... Right??

Thanks in advance...

I don't think you should fuel the fire. Just my opinion.

awwwwwww very , very cool!!!

I am happy for you.

Pingo is awesome!

Hi you wonderful people! Thank you for thinking of us!

Yes, we made it to New York. The flight and arrival formalities went smoothly, the waits weren't too long, and people were friendly. And it's not even very cold in NY at the moment!

We have been trying to get adjusted, see the city, and meet up with family and friends. O seems happy but pretty overwhelmed, so I think today we'll just walk in the park a bit and take it easy.

O did receive his EAD stamp at JFK. He asked for it: not sure if you have to ask. I was allowed to just que in the non-U.S. citizen line to wait with him and go to the desk with him. That was nice.

Thanks again for thinking of us and I'll be crossing my fingers for friends on VJ and see you on the AOS board soon!

I am so happy for you both.

If a 4 year old is guilty of sexual harrassment for hugging a Teacher's Aide (an Adult in supervisory position of power), then the Teacher's Aide should clearly be guilty of Sexual Molestation for allowing the hug to occur in the first place.

Good Point. They both sound like equally ridiculous charges.

So happy for you both.

Take Care, Enjoy the Trip and Best Wishes on your interview.

Congratulations on your marriage, LadyLove.

Congrats! Have a great time in Ghana.

What are you winking about? What you said was horrible.

Horrible? It's time for a reality check, people. The OP has found her real love. I'll tell you what's horrible. A lot of women dream of finding their one true love and never find it. I have seen how some of these women live, in loneliness, poverty and despair. These are nice, honest women who just can't find an honest and faithful guy who will just love them. They meet man after man, all liars, cheaters or game players. Sometimes they want to give up, yet they keep trying. Some of the stories I have heard have brought tears to my eyes.

So don't tell me what's horrible. The OP is worried about a stupid ring. Give me a fcuking break.

Well said. Very true, very profound. I am one of those women who had a bad marriage long ago and finally I have someone who I wouldn't trade for ANYTHING. I remind myself of how much he means to me and how honest he is and its worth all the money in the world to be able to trust again. I could be in worse shape with someone I dont love or who is unfaithful or even abusive. S

eriously, to feel that a ring is that important (enough to actually bother you )in a relationship makes me question the relationship and the priorities of the parties involved. Love should never be conditional upon the size or clarity of a diamond of course unless, that love is pure fake cubic zirconia. Showy and Flashy, but not real at all.

wow...you really did well ! great work, i am glad it worked out that way !

Coming from a guys-perspective, i cant afford a ring right now. And just as the diamond has brainwashed the girls, it has the same effect on the guys... i feel like sh!t for it. So right now we will just buy each other some not too expensive white gold wedding bands. Also i was thinking that in the future, i can surprise her with an engagement ring. Kind of a reverse order, but i think it would be a good surprise.

but love is more important than a fancy ring anyways.

This is the perfect response! Matt you are such a cutie and VERY sweet too.

David and I have plain, matching sterling silver bands for the wedding, I bought those for maybe $20. For the engagement, he got me a silver ring with a created diamond in it, in other words its a synthetic diamond(cubic zirconia). I know in the future if I choose something else, we will get it. Seriously, you can't tell its fake and silver cleans up really well when it needs it. I get NUMEROUS compliments on this ring and I would rather spend money on our honeymoon, wedding and other expenses. I think women are brainwashed too for diamonds with media, commercials etc. I know what real love is measured by and trust me, it ain't in carats.

But I know how you're feeling. Because of the visa thing, I can't really plan a wedding, and while I don't want a huge affair, most of my friends have had nice church weddings, and nice receptions, and with all of this, we gonna be lucky to have twinkies at a diner.

CONGRATULATIONS on your interview date! It feel so good to get closer and closer to being with your Mate! I am happy for you.

I just love the way we help each other on this site! Its such a relief to know others are going through what you are experiencing and that they can help you. Thanks to all of you!

I know you must feel so good! Congrats!

I am so happy for the two of you! Have a safe flight home!