amicablebride

On 11/26/2017 at 5:55 PM, SteveCinHou said:

Getting back to the original question....  We had exactly the same problem.  K1 visa, married, my wife got SSN on maiden name, OAS and EAD filed with married name.  We've gone to the SS office (Houston, TX) and they claim she has to have her green card or EAD in her married name to get her name changed on the SS card.  Don't know if this is really the law, or employees who don't understand.  These are government employees after all... their ability to use common sense or think on their own is not a valued ability.  But I couldn't point to anything saying anything different.  If anyone has anything official that states how this should work I would appreciate it.  In the meantime we're coming up on 5 months still waiting on EAD.

I, too, was told I need the green card before I'm able to change my name on SSN card. I've been married for 3.5 years and am still waiting for my permanent green card, so haven't been able to change my last name yet. It's so embarrassing to tell my coworkers and boss that I've been married for this long but am waiting to be able to change my last name and that "someday" it'll be changed.

Jude, I moved to the U.S. about 3 years ago and I'm still terribly homesick -- especially after I go home to visit for a while and come back. I experience the same feelings of regret you mentioned and wonder why I did this all for one person, and why my husband couldn't move to Canada to be with me. I often miss everything about the part of Canada I'm from (which is a 25 hour drive / 7-12 hours in flights and very expensive to travel back and forth from). The culture is different, the laws are different, their standard of living here is lower, the politics are ridiculous, the people in the New York area where I am now are aggressive for the most part and have funny accents. I wish I could offer you some help and tell you it gets easier, but for me it still hasn't. When I'm here, I feel like I'm living away at a job. Like an extended business trip. It doesn't really feel like "home". I'm comfortable and all, but I think home will always be home. You can love it and cherish it in your heart forever, and be absolutely grateful every time you go back. And if you ever want to speak your mind, you know where to come! :)

On 7/31/2018 at 2:26 PM, BRENTWOOD said:

 

Hello, I really can't thank you enough for sending such a beautiful and well thought out post. It truly means more to me than you will ever know!

 

I can 100% appreciate what you are saying about your transition. I think you are extremely brave to leave somewhere beautiful and choose a new life I just feel like maybe my coping strategies are not as strong as yours haha I can appreciate the advice I just need to get it into action. I guess i do not deal as well with transition as I had originally thought. Now looking back I definitely think it would've been smarter for us to move to Canada but I guess gold is tested by fire. So I can only hope I will become a stronger individual and us a stronger couple. Some days are obviously just tougher to get through as you know. 

This post helped me to not feel so alone.

 

How does your family deal with the transition? Are they 100% supportive? Did they give you any guilt or make you feel bad about your choices? I really love that you are from a tight knit family so you are able to understand how I feel better than most.

 

Also are you a writer? Because your writing is just so beautiful and well thought out!!!!!!!! It is a shame you can't work because you are clearly talented haha but yes you are correct all is within months reach.

 

I think I will write those three phrases down and practice them like a mantra.

 

1. Don't be too hard on yourself 2. Your family loves you 3. It will get better

That pretty much sums it all up and helps to ease some of the pain I am feeling.

 

Wishing you literally all the happiness in the world. Thank you for your kindness and positivity, it is going to go so far. So happy there are people like you in this world.

 

 

 

I’ve been in the USA for about 3 years now. I’m married to a lovely American. BUT, I miss home almost every day. The worst is when I go visit my family and friends back home, see how they’re going on with their lives without me, and then I have to come back to.... well.... just my husband. 

My coworkers aren’t welcoming or friendly. In fact, I was one of the only coworkers who were not invited to a wedding this past weekend. The other just gave birth, and another was stuck working a second job. Me? I drank wine alone while my husband consoled me and told me not to worry about them.

My in-laws haven’t been welcoming either. They only text me to ask how my husband is doing or if my husband is coming over. They don’t seem to give a rat’s butt about me, in spite of my numerous attempts over the last 3 years to try to be more like family with them.

The kicker? I’m not a negative person AT ALL, despite my posts on here. 

I’m friendly to everyone, it’s just a different attitude around here.

This forum is literally the ONLY place I can come to vent where people might be able to relate.

I’ve noticed that the most “popular” girl at work is one who brags about everything she can brag about, gossips and says bad things about others. Massive favoritism in the workplace too, everyone competes with each other more than works together... and I work at a school, so, how does that work? We all make the same wage, are unionized, and can’t really move up any corporate ladder. Yet, everyone seems to be out for themselves and will throw each other under the bus. 

My husband will never want to move to Canada. He makes it seem like I’ve made by bed, now I have to sleep in it. I made a life here... so, now we’re here. Don’t even get me started on the lack of maternity leave and horrendous health care system.

Anyway, if you ever feel like venting, I’m here to vent with you! Just shoot me a message  

On 12/7/2017 at 2:09 AM, pajobra said:

Ha the recycling drives me crazy here too. There is literally nowhere nearby to recycle without driving to it. I hate giving up but I don't have a vehicle to take recycling anywhere and we don't have the room to store it.  I miss our curbside recycling where I moved from in southern Manitoba. We may have been a village of just over 300 people but we have a stellar recycling program.

 

I am also trying to not go stir crazy but as far as winter goes its practically non existent here in Colorado Springs so I can still walk places and take the bus if I want without too much trouble. I don't expect my EAD until like March or April next year.

 

As for the American thing so far most I have met have been super welcoming and nice. Although before I came my husband said that one of his co-workers looked at him and seriously said so does Becca speak English. His reply oh gee I forgot to ask.  I said you should have said I spoke Cree and lived in an Igloo with my pet polar bear. lol

I’m from MB too!  

On 8/21/2018 at 2:05 PM, mumbles1416 said:

Do you know if it has to be the same border I crossed when I immigrate? Will it still be duty free?

It can be any point of entry and I don’t think there’s any fee.  It again, read my full post and do your homework or you’ll end up with a huge headache!! 😔 

On 8/21/2018 at 12:16 AM, mumbles1416 said:

I cant seem to find these answers anywhere...

 

Can I Import my suv  duty free after I cross the border to become a permanent resident ?

 

I know I can take my car into the us without importing it. I know i can use my Canadian insurance for a few months in the us as well.   BUT... after a few months, can I drive to the border (does it have to be the same border I crossed originally) and import my car and it still be duty free? I just feel like I'm at a loss when I try and find the answers.  Someone please help me!

 Don’t make the same mistake I did. I drove my car all the way here, which is like 1500 miles,  after US customs told me was fairly easy to import a car. I just had to find a US point of entry, there’s one right in New Haven which is fairly close to me. I needed some paperwork, which I printed, and I also got a letter of conformity from my car manufacturer. 

That’s when everything turned upside down. The manufacturer sent me a letter saying my car Did not conform to US safety code. Therefore it could not be imported.

I called a registered importer to find out if they knew why. She said the reason is probably because most Canadian cars do not have tire pressure monitors installed. They also cannot be modified.

The registered importer then told me that my car could not be imported into the United States.

Without being able to register it here, I didn’t feel comfortable insuring it so I had to buy a new car.  I heard you can get in pretty big trouble if you have a car in Connecticut for more than six months but you don’t register it in the state of Connecticut. And after spending hours in the DMV, I found out that I needed to import the car in order to register it.

 So I “gifted” my car to my mom so that we could insure it under her name. Then, this summer I drove my car all the way back home and was able to sell it there pretty fast. Thankfully.

 So... contact a registered importer BEFORE  bringing your car all the way here. And also if it does not have a tire pressure monitor, you won’t be able to import it. 

Processing times  are different for everybody. For me, the longest was after my interview, I had to wait almost 2 weeks for my passport to be stamped with my visa. Otherwise everything was almost exactly as stated on the USCIS website. 

Update:  my conditional green card expired August 15 of this year. I just went for my next biometrics appointment and was granted an extension on my expired green card while I await my new 10-year one. It could take months,  but with the extension on my conditional green card, it doesn’t really matter. As long as you have paid all your fees and did everything correctly, it’ll be ok. Good luck! 

Hi friends,

I moved to the U.S. on a K1 visa and have now been living here and married for 2 years. Changing to my married name has been a nightmare!

Long lines at the social security office only to be turned away and told to update my green card first.

Can someone please help me out and let me know which steps you took to change your name?

Change name in your own country first?

Start with Social Security card? Passport? Driver's Licence? Biometrics appointment?

I have my biometrics appointment coming up in a week. I have changed my name to my married name on the green card renewal (removing conditions) but have no ID in my married name, other than my marriage certificate.

I wasn't allowed to volunteer until I had my SS#. I tried volunteering to work with kids, animals, and seniors -- all requested SS#.

30 minutes ago, Creamsoda1983 said:

I did mine a bit different. i filed 1-130 Nov 1 2017 for consular processing. I changed my mind and submitted AOS 1-485 Dec 6. My priority date is still Nov 1. But I have my biometrics appt Jan 8. Hoping this all goes quickly. So stressful all this hurry up and wait business!

Agreed! It's a lot of hurry up and wait. I need to apply to remove my conditions, which could take 6-9 months to be approved.... I'm hoping they'll send me something that allows me to leave the U.S. and come back so I can return home to visit family!

On 12/27/2017 at 1:27 PM, AMZJ said:

I've been here a year and I still get homesick. It doesn't help that I can't drive or get anywhere (I am trying to learn but finding time and a person to take me out can be difficult). Getting a job did help, but I still miss being able to take myself places and not having to rely on anyone else to take me to do things. I am bored, I do not like living in the middle of nowhere and I miss the city. We have talked about moving next year closer to a big city so I'm happy about that. But it is hard to come from everything you've known. It takes time! I moved here for my husband but I was happy where I was in England. Things take time and eventually I'll be able to drive which I think will really help me since that's one of the biggest reasons I get home sick (not being able to get out and about).

That must be really hard.. England is so far away. What helps me is surrounding myself with familiarity. Always surround yourself with the same types of things you’d be surrounded by in England. Sounds crazy but for example, most of the plastic bags in my place are from Canadian stores. I use those ones and recycle any American ones we get. All my bathroom products.. shampoos, toothpastes... all from Canada. Teas, cereals, candies, practically anything in a package, I bring back with me from Canada. After 2 years of expat life, this is what I’ve learhed helps comfort me... seeing the French language and Canadian flags on everything  Plus it’s the stuff I’m used to, so I feel more at home.

On 12/26/2017 at 11:38 AM, chiggins82 said:

I totally agree with what other people are saying. I only moved from Canada to the US, so in many ways it was very easy. That said, I still get homesick. The hardest thing for me is not having friends and family around. I try to talk to people back home regularly, but I also try to not let that take place of finding new friends. I would suggest for your wife to maybe look into Meet-up groups. If there isn't one, maybe she could start her own.

 

Also encourage her to get out and find some hobbies, or volunteer, etc. Anything to create a new social circle. When I first moved here, the only friends I had were my husband's friends and honestly it made me feel so lonely. Having some friends that hers would probably help a lot. It's hard to make friends as you get older.

 

Be supportive and if she just needs to be sad for a while, that's ok too.

 

Another thing that helped me was focusing on learning my new home. I went to tourist attractions (sometimes on my own and sometimes with my husband). I tried out walking trails, found beaches in the summer. Went to local festivals, etc. etc. You do have to force yourself to get out there.  

I moved from Canada as well. It’s pretty easy to keep yourself involved in things, keeping busy, meeting people... but I find that when I come home to Canada  where I’ve lived for the past 33 years, I realize even more how much I miss living at home. I miss my family and friends, life is going on without me, and I appreciate every second of being home.

I was at Dollarama today and the lady in front of me paid with beautiful, colourful Canadian bills. Oh how I miss seeing those. I also appreciated the nice quality and low prices of a Canadian dollar store. All the dollar stores I’ve been to in Connecticut are kind of junky, and most items are overpriced / not a good value.

Also today, a lady at Royal Bank almost didn’t hold the door open for me (its -25 and she couldn’t see with her big Eskimo hood on). But she turned and saw me, giving a sincere apology as she held the door for me. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t see ya there.” Wow. She doesn’t realize how warm and fuzzy that made me feel. I’ve never been more proud to be a Canadian.

Being home with my family where I grew up is priceless to me, and I’m cherishing every moment and I’m actually sort of  dreading going back to the US... even though the love of my life awaits me there, I have friends, a car, and 2 jobs.

It feels incredible to be back home, and I think no matter how much time passes or how busy you keep yourself, homesickness is just inevitable for most of us. At least we can relate  

9 hours ago, Wolke7 said:

Hi everybody,

Just an American popping in here. I was just reading your posts, and am horrified at what you are putting up with. I understand that you are just trying to get along, but man, these people are intolerable. I have a couple of such people in my family, though thankfully not immediate family members.

I was actually reading along to get a feel for what my wife might experience, being here.

In any case, I want to apologize for my countrymen's and -women's behavior. I hope that you will encounter some better friend material soon.

Thanks! Actually to update on my situation, I am working at a less stressful job with a group of great people now. It pays much less than I’ve ever made in my life, but I no longer have a boss who yells or belittles people. :). I think first impressions of a new situation can leave people thinking a certain way. There are some really nice, caring Americans out there though. It’s also really great of you to try and understand what your wife might be going through. 

On 3/14/2017 at 9:18 PM, kareelina said:

Thanks a lot. I will try hard to be patient for the sake of my husband and the kids although I missed my job in Egypt a lot. 

I think you need to try it for more than 2 months. I felt the same way when I first moved here. I still miss my job, my family and friends back home. Also the restaurants and places I used to go, the free medical care, the health spa I went to when I felt stressed out. I cannot do any of that anymore. But being here makes my husband happy, so for now that's what I will do and in time maybe he will move back with me :-). If not, I am trying hard to build a life here and doing things to make it feel more like home.

You could be a foster parent to dogs. Then you wouldn't have to adopt them, or make any commitment... but you could take care of some dogs in need until they find someone to adopt them. And also there is the Internet for friends and people to talk to and meet :-). I've never found friends at work in the United States. Everybody is so uptight, they have enough friends, they only go to work to make money, not socialize and make friends... (rolling eyes). LOL. It will get better.

On 2/20/2017 at 6:27 AM, Jacob&Rachel said:

Omg! I feel the same exact way!! I know i dont come here for a job, i come here to be with my husband, but still i feel unwanted and worthless (not by my husband)

Yes, I feel that way too. You  always have to be the best when it comes to employment, and even that isn't usually good enough.

On 1/29/2017 at 11:00 AM, Jacob&Rachel said:

Hi, i am an immigrant from indonesia. I have my EAD and relocated to the US (baton rouge) on June 2016. I speak and write decent english, have college degree (pharmacy) and 6 years of work experiences. I have been trying to find a job here, applying to almost anything in my capabilities, (from store clerk to medical sales) but have no luck. I must have appplied over 100 jobs but only called for 2 interviews. 

 

I am getting crazy, i used to work almost 50 hours a week and now feel desprately useless and unwanted. 

 

Any advice or tips? Any other immigrant feel the same way?

I felt the same way when I first arrived. In Canada, when you apply for a job it's much less competitive. There are so many more jobs back home. Here in the U.S. it's a VERY competitive market. Each job you apply to probably has 50+ applicants each. I think you English ability might be why you aren't having much luck. There could be other applicants with just as much experience, but they can write clear English. I've learned that in the U.S. employers can be very prejudiced, and they want the BEST of the BEST. If they have to throw away 50 applications to wait for the PERFECT candidate to come along, they will. I had to work in terrible job situations until I realized that I had to put more effort into a job application / resume / cover letter than I ever had to before in my entire life. Welcome to America.... lol.

On 10/14/2017 at 10:23 PM, NikLR said:

Does your future spouse have insurance through work?  Generally the easiest is to be added onto theirs after marriage.  However it can be cheaper to buy individual insurance.   I have found most often that you need to be a full-time employee to qualify for insurance through work.   

 

The hard part, IMHO, is choosing a type of plan and provider.  Some plans allow you to see any doctor but give you a discount if you see their "network providers."  Other plans charge extreme amounts unless you only see their doctors.  Some you pay more per month but have a lower deductible and lower out of pocket total cost.  Others ask you to pay out of pocket (deductible) but then cover most of your costs after that.   Some allow you to have a health saving account that you can use for medical expenses (co-pays or against your deductible) and sometimes they rollover and sometimes you have to use it up each year.  So you have to make a choice on how often you get sick, vs how much you want to spend per month, vs choice you want to have to see certain doctors, and also if you want to have to be referred to a specialist or not.

 

It's really quite complicated.

 

I will give you an example:  We have a nationwide plan that changes depending on where you are in the country.  Here in Colorado we use a specific network and if I stay within that network, I get charged less for anything that needs to happen (preventative is always covered.)  I have a $3k deductible because we are self plus one.  (it would be $1500 as a single.)  After that they cover 95% of the cost.  The out of pocket limit is very high, like 10 or 12k.   But this plan comes with an HSA (health savings account) in which the employer puts $1500/year in and it rolls over every year.  We could add more too. 

What this means is:

I pay until the $3k is met

I pay until the out of pocket limit is met as well but I am only paying 5% of the total cost. 

I can use the HSA to pay for any costs but obviously it doesn't cover the full deductible.

I get to choose my providers, but in network ones cost me less.

I don't need a referral. 

As long as I go to an in-network provider (aka doctor) I don't have to do any paperwork except the main health questionnaires if I see someone new or it's been over a year, giving over my insurance info, and paying the bill.

I have a hugely reduced rate on prescriptions if I fill them at a certain pharmacy.  My BC is free. 

(And when I say hugely reduced I mean I've spent over $150 in Canada on antibiotics and painkillers due to an infection.  I've had the EXACT same product down here and it cost me $18 TOTAL.) 

 

However know that no matter WHAT provider you have, emergency rooms are EXPENSIVE.  There is very little wait here because of that.  Don't go to one unless you NEED it.  There are urgent care centers and they are like walk in clinics.  They're not cheap but they're fast compared to trying to find a GP.  I don't know the price comparison to a GP since I don't have one. 

 

My plan is about the same as this. I stupidly went to an Urgent Care center when I had a flu / cold a few months ago. My employer needed a doctor's note. In Canada, we'd generally just hop on over to the closest Walk-in clinic. I did the same thing here... I even asked them if they accepted Blue Cross insurance. They said yes. My mistake.. you're not supposed to ask the urgent care center, you're supposed call your insurance company ahead of time and make sure the place you plan on going to is covered through them. At least in CT that's how it is. 

Also, just to add to this, I found out today that most insurances don't cover chiropractic care / massage or anything similar. You have to have it approved by your doctor as a "necessity".  I haven't been to a chiropractor in almost a year.. my neck and back all out of whack. Reallllly missing Manitoba Health and the insurance I had back home. 

On 9/25/2017 at 4:00 PM, Stacyyy said:

 

When I drove over the border and entered with my K-1 visa I was told that I had to import my car right away, which was a hassle and cost me a lot of money. That was in 2013, have the rules changed or is this something that depends on the agent you get? 

I was able to drive right through, but when I tried importing my car later... was told it can't be imported. It doesn't have a tire pressure monitor system. ALL cars that are 2008 models or newer require this in the US. So I'm still stuck with my car here in the US until I'm able to drive it all the way from Connecticut to Manitoba, which isn't easy! Then I'll have to sell it in Canada because it can't be registered here. What a hassle  

1 hour ago, cantofla said:

Not sure how YVR is set up, but at YYZ in T1 if you arrive from an international flight and are connecting to a US bound flight, you bypass Canadian customs and immigration and head straight to US customs. There, I would imagine, if you are found to be inadmissible to the United States, Canada will likely also deem you inadmissible and you'd be sent home the same day.

 

Canadian agents are far friendlier and more human than their American counterparts in my opinion though, so if you explain to them your situation and if you bring proof, they might let you stay a few days in spite of the US denying you entry .

 

I never flew internationally into YVR. Only domestic Canadian flights... But if you must clear Canadian customs and immigration first, it wouldn't matter if the US denied you entry, as you were already admitted to Canada.. So in theory, then you can stay two days and then head back to the UK.

 

 

 

I agree. It'####### and miss... it really depends on the Canadian officer you encounter. I think if you bring proof that you have plenty of money to survive on, and you're there to visit, travel and spend, rather than steal jobs.. I'm sure both countries wouldn't have a problem letting you in. But you can also call both borders.. tell your situation and ask :-)

39 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

I'm in Boston and opportunities abound here... i see posting for entry level admin I positions around $60k

Are you in a more rural part of CT? 

 

I'm more distant from the bigger cities like New Haven or Hartford. I'm working as a paraprofessional which requires a degree, and the pay is only around $15,000/yr. So, I am definitely doing all I can to change careers. I've been applying to entry level jobs but my experience is in education, special needs and child care and I've been competing with 50-100 other applicants (it sometimes shows how many applications were received). So I've kind of given up and am mainly working from home every hour that I'm not working at the school. My husband has a masters in public health and has applied several times (and taken tests) to work for various cities, but there's always someone with more experience. Maybe we should move to Boston 😩 lol

On 2017-08-14 at 11:29 PM, Canadian Expat said:

Our local Canadian meet-up group was recently discussing the increase in job offers where being a Canadian is a plus. I just wanted to share with you - The Embassy of Canada and other diplomatic missions in the USA are currently hiring - 
international.gc.ca/world-monde/united_states-etats_unis/jobs-emplois/index.aspx?lang=eng

 

Also, many positions recently advertised for content/marketing/liaison etc. for the Canadian market [locally: Amazon, Wayfair] 

--

Best of luck to the ones looking for work after the big move. 

 

Thank you. I'm in Connecticut so I'm going to see I feel any of this applies here. Jobs seem scarce and hard to get here. I'm currently making less than half what I made in Canada and it's quite devastating.

On 2013-10-26 at 9:50 PM, Beeeebs said:

Sorry to hear that, KT. Any chance you and your husband could move up there? Could he land a job there?

I'm very sorry to hear that. Just wondering if anything has changed yet? Did life in the US get better, stay the same, or has anyone returned to Canada (alone or with American spouse)?

2 minutes ago, caliliving said:

To be honest...i was an overstay but i would have never trusted a k1...i can see how people from countries that can NOT get a tourist visa do it, but I do question why those from a country that can travel easily do the k1 over a cr1??

In my case, I tried entering the US as a visitor with my car packed full of my stuff. I kept my job and apartment but my lease was ending in 1 month and I had no plans to renew it. I planned on requesting a 6 month leave of absence from work once we made it through. 

Long story short, customs was suspicious. I was traveling with my American boyfriend, which was supposed to help it look less suspicious. Boyfriend ended up cracking and telling the agents my apartment was totally cleaned out / lease was over and I planned to "try" living with him for 6 months and date normally, then he planned to propose. In MY interview, I said I planned to stay with him, still had my apartment and job. He needed SOLID PROOF, and since it was a Sunday evening, he couldn't contact the leasing office or my employer. 

So in the end, our best option was the K-1 or end the relationship. I guess we had no interest in getting married first, living apart, and waiting for CR1 approval. I spent a year living in my empty apartment. We saw each other as much as we could. Facetimed all the time. And eventually, I was approved for the K1. 

56 minutes ago, Maria&Derrick said:

Well, I don't have a goal to stay in country no matter what. What's the point in GC if you have no decent job, place to live, own car and American education and have no one to support you (not necessarily financially, but help you to adjust, encourage you and such?). Just a useless paper.

Exactly true. I do have a job and car, but if I divorced my husband I would want to go back home. There's no life here if you're all alone. 

You should be able to look up her full name and country she claims she's was married in to find a marriage certificate. Do research, gather evidence, file an annulment. Fraud is hard to prove in court, but if she married you when already married then the marriage isn't valid and you'll get your annulment. Then she won't be able to renew her green card or get a passport and she can be deported.