AstaMarisa

Hi, just a quick update. So as you might remember I came to the US in January 2010 on K1 visa. I've lived here for 4,5 years. I'm still in process of my AOS, waiting for interview for my green card. They took my fingerprints in October 2013. I received my SSN a few months ago along with my work permit. I don't work though due to some reasons like lack of day care for my son who is no longer eligible for free medical daycare. He is healthy now, doctors removed his feeding tube a month ago. I'm very glad. So here are the news. Hope all of you are well and good luck with everything.

Oh, forgot to say I got my drivers license on April 21. Yey! Don't have a car though but looking forward to new life with bigger opportunities.

Oh, ok, I think I have a better understanding now. Ok I'll talk to them and hope it won't take too long for them to start the process. Thank you.

It's through the navy, I can't look at the letter, i think I left it at my case manager's office as she wanted to take a copy. So this navy office (i believe it's called dfs?) said they need more than just court order, they need some other papers. I'm bad with legal stuff so of course I don't remember what exactly they need but as soon as i get it back I'll post here.

I can't get out of the house because my son is sick again so as soon as i pay for my phone I'll call this child support office , I should've done it before I just thought the navy will help.

I just got it, they said they can't do it for me, it is not enough to have a court order, I'm figuring this out right now. My social worker who helped with the faxing them papers told me it should sure work and they will debit the money streight to me but it seems I have to go back to court. I know that I can get a special debit card for child support and stuff but it's becoming unreasonable to do that if I can't get it automatically anyway. And this was through navy.

Hello, guys, I not been using the forum for long time, I had to format my computer and all my bookmarks were gone so when I signed into my account I couldn't find this thread, don't know what happened, I guess it was moved once and "my content" didn't show me where it is, I thought it is deleted, but anyway I found you guys so I share with you what has been done and where we are now.

On Dec 5 I had a court hearing regarding child support/spousal support, I didn't have a lawyer but it went good, I explained I can't work and basically because of my husband who held me from filing for adjustment.. so long story short the judge ordered him to pay me about 12 000 for last 6 months (like debt) because I filed in June and then every month $867 child support and $1100 is spousal support. However he didn't pay this much, he only gave me 700 in January and 1000 in February which is still better than nothing. I'm trying to set up the automatic payment directly from his account to me but since I don't have a credit card or any bank account it's still .. well still working on it.

So another hearing (remember I told you guys that the hearing for the divorce was scheduled for January first when I saw the divorce papers?) so this hearing took place actually and I thought it's for divorce, because..well that's what I thought. Now I don't know what happened because I really had to take care of an emergency with Tyler, nothing serious but I didn't get to the court room while was still at the court house. However my husband's lawyer came out in about 7 min after the hearing was supposed to start and told me they did everything without me. I found out that they (husband and his lawyer) trying to make me pay my husband's dept (whatever dept he has), since we were married it's our both responsibility as he told me. Not to mention I don't use any of those things that he has dept on neither I got any of what we had, not even my belongings. I asked him (the lawyer) to mail me the court order. He mailed me the old court order from Dec 5 I was like okay... I don't believe the court would order me to pay the dept that he has, I can believe he brought that to the court but can't imagine the judge going "oh ok, she is not even here but granted". Well since I was sure it's about the divorce I asked if we divorced yet, he said no. Next hearing is June 6.

I was also thinking of taxes, this is painful, so spousal support is a taxable payment, the court granted me spousal support but I didn't get it (obviously if not counting the dept for last 6 mo that he had then I got about 100 as a spousal support for 2 months)..do I have to file taxes?? Thank you for your attention. Hope everybody is well.

I honestly can't imagine how much nicer he is expecting me to be. I'm nice enough in a way that can be possible between victim and abuser.

Sandra, you right, I'm so much better, I feel free and I thank God for letting me get all these opportunities to fix my life.

But I have to get my son to dad tomorrow again, that made me stay up till late tonight, I always think how will it be. I discovered the baby didn't gain weight at all, not sure why, I did everything same and he is not sick, it makes it harder to see who is missing out now when we both take care of him. Well last time husband told me he couldn't find baby's pills in a bag (which he found later) so I assumed he didn't give it to him, and he told me our son was throwing up a lot at night for whatever reason. He also didn't take him to school (he goes to school for special kids, they work on feedings and development). So all that keeps me wondering how can I change it.

That sucks, I'm sorry. Your husband will probably get sick of paying for a nanny soon enough and then you will get more time with your son!

Yea.. I actually think he doesn't pay, his girlfriend watching my son. I am almost 100% sure.

So this week Thursday dad took the baby first time since we got 50/50. And our son had to be with a nanny, husband didn't even ask me if I'm available. That is sad. I was bored at home and my baby had to be with somebody . I'm simply not happy with new custody order. Seems like he can't have him but he will do anything for me not to have him either which is selfish and unreasonable.

I got his police report. That's all. I tried to find my criminal history many times by case number, online, at legal office where I was filing for RO, nothing found. Even superior court office couldn't find anything on me. That's why they gave me statement that I was never charged. I had picture taken in jail, fingerprints and all that but it's just no criminal history on me. Anywhere. Same for my husband. I couldn't find anything even though he had a court hearing before they let him go.

sounds like the judge at the divorce court hearing does not have all of the records from the prior criminal court hearing.

You mean what prior criminal hearing?

When I went to jail i didn't even have any hearing... they just let me go.

But I do have record of that time when he went to jail. He had a court hearing also but I don't have a record of that, only police report.

resignedtoinswhim

I did sign..

So today 50/50 started. But as I understood at the next hearing I can still ask for sole custody if I wish so. I have to ask my lawyer to make sure.

When I just started my immigration I had to get some statement that I was never charged with a crime, I think that same paper would help me in court?

resignedtoinswhim, thank you. I honestly don't understand why my lawyer suggested 50/50. Me, my son's school teacher and case worker from the hospital, all were really surprised. Well when that meeting took place the supervisor judge said I should feel for my husband because I left him and took the child with me and because I was "stabbing with a knife", but I left because I just couldn't take it anymore and how would I just left the child? And the knife thing was already explained long time ago, if there was any cuts on the door where my husband was saying i was stabbing it then the police wouldn't just let me go without court hearing, and I assume they took me only because I said that nothing happened (because he told me if i say something they will take the child from us) and he told them some big story. But they couldn't do anything other than let me go because it was no evidence and no knife even plus many people called the police when I put on my facebook that he is trying to kill me and I need help (i did it when i locked myself in a bathroom and he took my phone so i grabbed my laptop with me just to let people know that I'm in danger). But it's still on the record, just the fact that he said so and I don't have any idea why this still matters to court if it's already proven that it's not true. I was just hoping that my lawyer would talk for me but in fact I had to say all this myself, she didn't defend me. Maybe because I don't have to pay her? He has to pay his lawyer though...

We still have November 30 date open, they changed it to 20 mins hearing but if I have any concerns I can say that I don't like how 50/50 custody goes.

I was wondering if my husband has to be at court with me for my immigration case? Is it going to be some hearing about my VAWA or not?

And also people asking me what's gonna happen to my husband for what he did to me? I mean for at least keeping me dependent and not filing for adjustment of status. Is anything supposed to be done or he will just get away with no responsibility? Does anybody know what usually follows VAWA petition? What usually happens to USC after VAWA of victim is approved?

Maybe you can give us at least an idea of what city you're in (dont know if it will compromize your security) so somebody can recommend a lawyer possibly..

I'm in San Diego if it still matters

Hello

We had a meeting at the court house few days ago, me, husband and our lawyers (I had a chance to get a lawyer! yey). So we came to an agreement that we going to have 50/50 custody. I didn't want to agree but my lawyer said court wants us to share and that the case is very complicated and unpredictable so nobody knows what will happen at the hearing date on November 30th. She said the judge might take time from me and give it to husband so I really got scared that I might lose my baby.. However I'm not happy with what happened but I guess I had to listed to her because she is my lawyer and if not trust her then who to trust? That was my thought because I was really confused... Dad already said he can't have him the days when he will supposed to because he is busy so (thank God) I will just take him.

So this lawyer is only for custody and I still need one for child support, spousal support.

My immigration is going fine, I got prima facie and was hoping that I can get welfare money for myself (because they only pay me for the child), but the turned me down (( I will have to go again. My case manager told me they do it to people because they don't want to pay but I just have to show them what law says and they will most likely pay ))

Oh and most exciting news, we finally moved to transitional housing so we are not in a shelter anymore! I pay 30% of my income and the apartment is nice, it's 2 story apartment, and it's ours for next 18 months!

Also I'm enrolling my son to another school where he can be all day, they have nurses there so his medical needs will be met too.

We are very happy right now, the new custody order will start working October 1 so we have time for each other before I let him go to dad.. I just live my life right now and love my son. I wanna keep the moment.

I came to add some details to what I said before. It's probably not right that I didn't say what exactly my husband did to our child because this way many of you don't understand why I 'm concern about him being with the baby alone, but at the same time I don't want to bring this information here. CPS worker is aware + other authorities too. I also don't say what else he did to me just because it takes me a lot of nerves to even think about it without crying so I don't want to go back to the history of all.

About the judge.. She actually said that she found it good of him that he brought a lawyer, "that means he cares about the child", but I was wondering how is it possible if he cares so much he never helped with any amount of money or any other help (like diapers at least). He saw him just once when he had supervised visits (why didn't see him more?). Plus why he seeks for sole custody and NO VISITATIONS for me at all? To me it is clear he is trying to hurt me by taking the child from me. He does not care about the child. When we lived together he didn't see him much also. I'm not even saying how dirty my son was when dad returned him to me after his first overnight visitation.

The volunteer lawyer will help me hopefully. I just need somebody to talk for me because I have my beg full of papers (my written statements and all records) but I just don't speak in public too well. Especially at court. I never know from what to start and when to talk. I'm thinking if lawyer will not help maybe I should read from the paper? Will it look awkward? It's the only way I can say all what I plan to say.

Hi, just updating. I keep seeing a therapist and she already gave me a support letter for my VAWA petition. On 17th we had a mediation. It was about custody and visitations. He askes for over nightes , I said no. But the judge will decide. He saw our son just once since we in a shelter. It was supervised. I think it went well. I also got my son's actual birth certificate (weird, we never had it). Me and my son are still in the shelter waiting for opening in some transitional housing. I also got a letter from navy , that's from my case manager, he askes me to write a statement about all insidents that happened with my husband, describe all abuse that I suffered. Then the commission with different people (including the command or his represantative) will vote for the decicion of how bad the abuse was and what is the safety plan for me.

Thanks for all your support.

No the hearing date is on the first page, no doubt. I found it interesting too. Who chose this date - that was my first question. By the way i see that his attorney signature looks like his own, i guess he doesn't have an attorney.

I tried catholic charities its not free, i tried immigration center for women and children, it is not free. Tried Russian attorneys (3 of them so far) - not free. 800 at least. My head hurts, i m tired. I just wanna forget it like a nightmare

Me and my son's teacher looked closer to this docs and it is a divorce paper, so he wants divorce and full custody of our son with no my visitations

Well the policeman gave it to me and he saw the paper so it is possible I guess. I didn't know it too, but when I called some place they gave me information how to get a custody order, you don't have to be divorced to get it. It is for families with issues. Its different types of custody. I been advices to get a custody order or primary physical custody, but I guess he did it first. I have to look at it with some attorney tho to figure out what it is.

We are still married, the legal office called my friend back few days ago to confirm that. And if we were not i would not be able to get new dependent ID, so its no daub that we are married

Hi guys.

So we keep staying where we staying, my husband doesn't know where we are. We went to doctor's appointment today at navy base, it was scheduled before and husband knew when it is, so I thought he could come. Well he didn't come to the appointment, but he was scaring me that the police will find me right , he promised i will go to jail for 4 years , whatever...so he involved them there, in the hospital. They came to me at the pharmacy while I was waiting for my turn to get my son's medications. I will not write the whole story because it would be too long. But all I can say yes, he actually called the police on me again. And they seemed to be polite and understanding to me. They said he stated he had no idea where his child is for more than 2 months and that he assumed the child wasn't alive even. Absurd... After many of his lies opened up they just served me the papers that he brought about the custody, all I have to do is to come to this hearing which is in January 2013, the judge will decide what the custody schedule will look like for us, and they said till this time I am more than ok to have the baby with me and I don't have to tell my husband where we are. Then they asked me if he could see our child, I said of course, so him and our son had a few minutes together.

Then I found out he shot off my cell phone.. of course, don't even know why he didn't do it before. But that's what it is, have to find a way to get a new one somehow. Hard to do anything without money..

By the way my son is ok, he didn't lose weight and he is healthy.

He is sending me nasty messages. I had to contact television station , hopefully more people will know about my story. His mom and his friend called me because he asked them to , but they said if I need anything just give them a call, they know how he is... He is trying to get more people on his side but those who know me in person will never say anything bad about me. I don't know if that works that way but I hope it does...