mrettercap

My personal opinion is don't open a can of worms. They can't examine your records. They only know what you report. Clinical depression is a lot more than having the blues because your little doggie died or some such one-off incident. You filled one prescription and didn't even take it. You were not depressed. You had an ear problem. Would Prince Harry claim to be a Nazi because he dressed as one for costume party seven years ago? (In case you missed it: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,1017620,00.html)

I followed the rules. Went to one of the best colleges in the States, moved to the UK, got a few more degrees, built up a great career. Had the NHS and, like Trompe, had private cover (PPP). Moved back to the US, started a career as a consultant and had to buy my own insurance. My outrageous rates went up when the insurance company decided it felt like it. Bye-bye cover.
I have a great job, and it has NO health insurance. I need this position in order to move ahead in my career path and it was unbelievably hard to get. I've had illnesses I haven't been able to have taken care of because I cannot afford to go to the doctor. End of. I cannot afford it. Eventually, after I convert my English law degree into a California qualification, I should be able to afford it again. But it is bananas that I should be expected to feel terrified of getting seriously ill. I'm separated with no children. I rent. The likelihood that I can qualify for Medicaid or Medi-CAL is nil.
I'm a nice middle-class girl who made all the right life choices and I'm still getting screwed by this system. America seems filled with a "I got mine, who gives a toss about you?" mentality that I find sickening. The common weal is important to us ALL as a nation. In my opinion, failure to provide for a healthy society is immoral. But hey, you got yours, and I should just go get a job that has cover, right?
Yeah, right.
Agreed. It's disgusting that profits are being earned on other people's ill health.

The K1 is not for "trial periods".

sigh... I hope you remember this brilliant logic so you can dispense it in the future...
"Halfway through the process and having doubts? No problem! Just smile and go along and pretend nothing is wrong.. When your future spouse gets here if you are not feeling the warm and fuzzies after a day or two tell them sorry, its over.. adios! then pat yourself on the back and brag to the world .. and hey that ex-future-spouse even may have had it coming!"
Yeah good for her I guess.. as long as she only dates deadbeats, dogs, mass murderers and the like she can continue with the princess logic and ends-justifies-the-means results. Would you really recommend this course of action to someone with the knowledge she had at the time? The behavior was reprehensible.

The right thing would have been to voice the months of relationship doubts she had BEFORE having him move. Yes, he was in the wrong for texting other women, but she was also in the wrong for letting him move without her voicing that she wasn't even sure she wanted to be with him in the first place. No innocent parties here, definitely nothing worthy of congratulating, IMO.

Why did you even petition him in the first place? why didn't you tell him before he came? when did you start having this feelings you didn't want to be with him? what if he had the best thing that was ever going to happen to you and he was so in love with you and then you tell him "Oh i decided i don't love you anymore so go back" Yea you got lucky is what you got! As for you people who think she should be congratulated your crazy as she is! I don't understand how people do this without thinking before hand you have at least 5 to 8 months to think about it before they even get on the plane to come here. I know there a lot of us on here who have been waiting and waiting to see our fiancee/fiance for the last 5 months or so going threw the process to be with them again. Again you got lucky is all.... if that what really happen what you say about him????????????? Just my 2 cents.

What are people congratulating the OP for? For having someone uproot their entire life for them, meanwhile having doubts that they even WANTED to be with the person?
People who don't take this process seriously boggle my mind. This isn't a process so you can have someone come to the US and try them out for a little while. If you aren't 100% sure you want to marry this person, don't file the petition. And definitely don't wait until the beneficiary has moved EVERYTHING to say "hm, maybe this isn't a good idea."
I by no means condone the guy for the "sexting" nonsense, but let's be real, nobody here deserves a congratulations.
So you expected/wanted HIM to be honorable and 'think this through' ... but you admit you had doubts for MONTHS and let him move anyway. Where's your responsibility in this? Or do you get a free pass because he turned out to be a 'dog'? Honorable. Please.

I can't believe what kind of replies are being posted in this thread. Congratulations? Really?
I'm sorry OP, but what you did was morally very wrong and you should feel guilty irrespective of the final outcome.
And NO. The fiance visa is NOT there for yanking someone out of their lives just to play with their hearts for 90 days and then go about "deciding" whether you want to go through with it or not. Genuine fiance visa candidates likely migrate to the US by completely burning their boats once ashore. They leave their jobs, their loved ones behind. Likely sell all of their property and even their homes when moving to the US. They do that in hopes of creating a new life with their significant others and not because they want to be told it just "doesn't feel right" three days later.
This isn't a child's game that you up and quit. Any reservations and doubts you have about your significant other, clear them out BEFORE starting the application process. Those 90 days are there so the couple has ample time to obtain a marriage license and easily complete the legal procedures required in order to obtain a marriage certificate. They are NOT there to play 20 questions and deciding whether or not you want to "go through with this."
The decision to "go through with it" was made the moment you filed that petition!

I'm glad you listened to your instincts and it turned out for the best, but why on earth are people getting engaged without already knowing, loving and trusting each other completely? Obviously you and your ex-fiance jumped into this process without understanding MARRIAGE was at the end of it. Crazyyy.

Several years ago I was in a relationship with a man who was moved to Italy for his government job. He asked me to move there with him. I agreed and placed my house for sale, gave away my pets, sold much of my stuff... We loved each other and I thought had good intentions.
I visited him shortly before my move and things were BAD! This was a man I knew for years and loved dearly. He was unsure about the move and was not being honest with me. I found out from one of his friends that he was having reservations! He did not want to "lose" me but was not sure he wanted me there in Italy. I was so mad at first, I gave up so much for him already. BUT.... I had agreed to do it. That is life, you have to take chances some times. Some work out some don't.
My point is, your fiance did give up a lot to come be with you. But I would hope that was a conversation you both had and came to that decision. Life is life and bad things happen. However, if you had second thoughts, it should have been communicated to him prior to him coming. Jitters are one thing, being unsure of a life together is another.
The most unfortunate part is your case, and many others like yours, is that, it makes the process so much harder for the rest of us who have no second thoughts, have found the right person and just want to be together.
I hope for your karma sake and his, you both did not intent to scam the system. As for me, if it had not been for my previously mentioned relationship I would not know my now fiance. Karma is good to those who are good... Good luck in life.

You didn't know he was sexting with anyone until you confronted him about your own feelings. I am sure you knew you were having feelings of doubt long before he got here. And people wonder why the system is broken?

I totally agree. Cases like this are exactly the reason why it is so difficult for the rest of us.

This is not what the fiance visa is about, you are required to get married within 90 days if the beneficiary's entrance into the US. Not 90 days to get to know each other, that is why letters of intent by both parties are sent with the application. I don't agree with others who are"happy" for this couple that they found out they weren't made for each other before it was too late. This process is very long and tedious. We are made to jump through hoops to get our SO to this country, as well should be the case. BUT one of the reasons it is so difficult for the rest of us is because of cases like this. My husband and I love each other and we will do whatever it takes to get him here. And if others would stop playing the system perhaps it wouldn't be so difficult for those of us who are truly committed to each other.

This is exactly why people are supposed to really know each other and be truly committed to each other. I see the failure as a two direction failure. There are some who will do anything to get to America including trying to think they're in love, while there are many Americans that seem to fall in love with the idea of being in love. No one on either side should enter into this process unless they really know the other person and are truly committed. People are not shoes you try on for a while, particularly when you have them giving up their lives in their home country to be with you. Also Americans are not a meal ticket and free pass to a better life. In both cases they are human beings, not tools to get something you want. These type of situations are exactly why they make it hard to get through this process. I just don't understand why people go into it so lightly. I guess I should be glad he was a dog, and she can dump him guilty free. But now we have another dog running around in America, who probably didn't deserve to get here. Another dark stain on the process, and another reason while some will try to make it even harder on the people with real intentions of making a working marriage. To those that seem to think the 90 days is a trial period, what did that letter mean you both wrote and signed saying you intended to marry? Do you often sign things you don't believe are true?

Great answer..Exactly how I feel,I quit my great paying job of 25 years,,Gut my pension short, gave almost everything I have away,If after 3 days my wive told me that this was not a good idea,I don't know what i would of done?..I had absolutely nothing left back in Canada...When I first got here I had doubts in the beginning to,as I'm sure did my wive,marriage is all about learning...I now could not imagine not having her in my life..I don't see how you deserve a thumbs up for that??..At least not after less then a week?...sure not all marriages are gonna work,but give it some time.

one post making a personal attack removed
this is not true.

Actually the K-1 visa is not meant to be a 'get to know you' visa. You are already supposed to be in a solid relationship and know each other. You are supposed to be engaged and ready to get married, which is why you sign letters of intent to marry within 90 days of entering the US. The 90 days is given so you have a little time to get situated, plan together and get married.

couldnt have said it better myself...100% right.....the only reason she isn't being looked down at is because of shear luck that he was a dog...

Don't jump into conclusions so quickly... it takes two to tango.

Of all the posts that I've read on VeeJay, this one made me understand why the process is tedious and procedural.
Hopefully the Dude will be able to bounce back and recover.

If God were good, then he wouldn't have made you uproot a dude because you felt like it, only to change your mind 3 days after he arrived. I hope karma gets to you, lady.

You're given a lifetime of getting to know each other before the visa process starts. Try mentioning it to a CO that you're getting the visa because it has a 90 days try-it-out. You do get to know each other on a different level when it's no longer 2 weeks worth of vacation adventures here and there, or talking/emailing. It's direct contact, dialogues, who-does-the-dishes and issues that won't surface on most visits if only visiting a couple of times.
OP, congratulations with your mutual decision of it wasn't meant to be.

If you found him sexting after you'd already told him you're not going to be with him then the point is moot, otherwise, he was not serious in the first place, then I wouldn't expect anyone to live with someone they weren't happy with for the rest of their life. It just seems some put the point of no return at arrival, when they've just left everything they've ever known, and others put it at 90 days, after that person has already likely adapted to the new life and done away with a lot of the old. Either way it sucks all around and I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, but I'm almost just as sorry to hear what happened to him

What?? No that's not what its about at all..... She got very lucky.. OP: This easily could have been a case of uprooting someone who changed their life to come be with you in a new country only to have you say "sorry, I made a mistake.. I led you and myself on for 8+months.. I'm bailing so it sucks to be you" ..... you did wait three whole days.. You could have ended up ruining someones life, instead you got lucky because your choice turned out to be dog who deserved it so it saved you having guilt.

The co-sponsor would fill out a separate I-134. Your fiancée would still fill out one since she is the primary sponsor for you. From what I've read to date, you should be fine with a co-sponsor going through the US embassy in London. Good luck!