MatthewNCarolina

OP, in first place what I want to tell you, whether you are lying or not is, people CAN learn English or any other language from different sources, you can be just naturally gifted like someone else said. Good for whoever went to college, school, whatever to learn a language but some people just don't need it. I'm one of those, thanks to Backstreet Boys (lol), my old radio, TV, my old dictionary and my brain I learned English by myself. Perfect? Not at all but it could be! And I'm still learning!! Native speakers in EVERY country make mistakes, every language has slang and I really do not see how native americans here speak that good.
In fact, I don't know about everybody but where we live there are so many called "rednecks" and their grammar is terrible, way worse when speaking because of slang. The public schools here are also not that great and I see a lot of people here having a hard time spelling/reading. So basically, yes you can learn by yourself, great if you went to college but there are thousands of ways to learn a language.
Anyway, some people gave you good advice and in my opinion your husband will NOT love you more if you get your AOS done at all. There's some things that cannot be fixed, things will get worse. Just think, he will "lose" control over you and then things will get more serious. The fact that he is a military does not mean anything, their character is not tested when joining. You should follow the advice it was given to you and get yourself together, you need a plan to keep you and your son safe.
If your story is true or not, it does not matter. Too bad if it is not, at least you can see that people care. If it is real, good luck and I wish you the best.
P.S: And by the way, stop defending yourself though if you are really saying the truth. You do not owe anything to anyone in here, you got good advice already and this whole argument about your English skills is pointless. If you have any other question about the main topic, feel free to send me a message, I'll be happy to help.

OP, in first place what I want to tell you, whether you are lying or not is, people CAN learn English or any other language from different sources, you can be just naturally gifted like someone else said. Good for whoever went to college, school, whatever to learn a language but some people just don't need it. I'm one of those, thanks to Backstreet Boys (lol), my old radio, TV, my old dictionary and my brain I learned English by myself. Perfect? Not at all but it could be! And I'm still learning!! Native speakers in EVERY country make mistakes, every language has slang and I really do not see how native americans here speak that good.
In fact, I don't know about everybody but where we live there are so many called "rednecks" and their grammar is terrible, way worse when speaking because of slang. The public schools here are also not that great and I see a lot of people here having a hard time spelling/reading. So basically, yes you can learn by yourself, great if you went to college but there are thousands of ways to learn a language.
Anyway, some people gave you good advice and in my opinion your husband will NOT love you more if you get your AOS done at all. There's some things that cannot be fixed, things will get worse. Just think, he will "lose" control over you and then things will get more serious. The fact that he is a military does not mean anything, their character is not tested when joining. You should follow the advice it was given to you and get yourself together, you need a plan to keep you and your son safe.
If your story is true or not, it does not matter. Too bad if it is not, at least you can see that people care. If it is real, good luck and I wish you the best.
P.S: And by the way, stop defending yourself though if you are really saying the truth. You do not owe anything to anyone in here, you got good advice already and this whole argument about your English skills is pointless. If you have any other question about the main topic, feel free to send me a message, I'll be happy to help.

Many abusive people don't want to file for a GC because they fear that by keeping the spouse "un-free" will force them to rely on the USC so the immigrant can't leave. Many men also fear "independent" women (there are a million on this board) so in an extreme version, keeping them chained keeps them dependent on the USC. That way they get a wife at home that depends on them totally no matter what they do.
I find it despicable to attack the OP's use of English as a reason to attack her or her story. The question of her English shouldn't be answered by someone who "lives with a Russian" but by people who actually speak at least two languages. Someone who speaks only one language is not capable, in my view, of understanding what it is like to learn a second language and what is possible. When someone gets attacked they would naturally get flustered and probably reply faster and make more mistakes. For a second language, speaking is not easier than writing for all people.
The OP is very possibly a hurting abused person who needs help, and is making all kinds of excuses because that is what an abused person does. USCIS can make an appropriate determination regarding her story (if she goes that route). It's not up to us.
OP - you got some good info on your options at the start of the thread.

Not necessarily. It all depends how/when you learn. For me it was the other way around. I could write nicely in English but I had tons of trouble speaking. Why? Because I didn't have the chance to talk with other English speakers and practice it. On the other hand, I had read many books in English and watched lots of movies with captions. My written English, while not perfect or close to it, was easily 10 times better than my spoken one.
To the OP: if your story is true I sincerely hope you get the help you need. If your story is not true, shame on you for making fun of such problems.

OP, in first place what I want to tell you, whether you are lying or not is, people CAN learn English or any other language from different sources, you can be just naturally gifted like someone else said. Good for whoever went to college, school, whatever to learn a language but some people just don't need it. I'm one of those, thanks to Backstreet Boys (lol), my old radio, TV, my old dictionary and my brain I learned English by myself. Perfect? Not at all but it could be! And I'm still learning!! Native speakers in EVERY country make mistakes, every language has slang and I really do not see how native americans here speak that good.
In fact, I don't know about everybody but where we live there are so many called "rednecks" and their grammar is terrible, way worse when speaking because of slang. The public schools here are also not that great and I see a lot of people here having a hard time spelling/reading. So basically, yes you can learn by yourself, great if you went to college but there are thousands of ways to learn a language.
Anyway, some people gave you good advice and in my opinion your husband will NOT love you more if you get your AOS done at all. There's some things that cannot be fixed, things will get worse. Just think, he will "lose" control over you and then things will get more serious. The fact that he is a military does not mean anything, their character is not tested when joining. You should follow the advice it was given to you and get yourself together, you need a plan to keep you and your son safe.
If your story is true or not, it does not matter. Too bad if it is not, at least you can see that people care. If it is real, good luck and I wish you the best.
P.S: And by the way, stop defending yourself though if you are really saying the truth. You do not owe anything to anyone in here, you got good advice already and this whole argument about your English skills is pointless. If you have any other question about the main topic, feel free to send me a message, I'll be happy to help.

Thank you, Peter Pan.
Some people have a talent for languages. Having studied English at school and watched subtitled TV all my life, I could pass for an American after less than a year in the US at 18+, a long time ago. Not the only language I learned like that, either. There's nothing suspicious about that.

You cannot travel, by air, bus, car, truck, etc, without the GC OR the travel document (Advance Parole/I-131) in hands. If you leave the country, cross the border to Mexico or whatever, USCIS will understand that you have abandoned your case and you will be no longer on AOS process and will not be able to come back to US. And somebody correct me if I'm wrong, you will have to go through the spousal visa route to be able to come back (???). DO NOT GO OUTSIDE US WITHOUT ONE OF THOSE 02 DOCUMENTS, just don't. You can go to Texas, right next to the border but if you put your toes crossing the line, trouble.
Can't you guys get a house next to the border and close to his job (but YOU will not cross it until you have GC in hand or I-131), and HE will go normally to work in Mexico and come back home (TX-US) everyday? Just an idea.

Wrong answer, OP is asking about going outside the country while she has the AOS process pending and neither a GC or a travel document, it is not a domestic trip. A state driver's license will not help in this situation.

OP: Never mind all these holier-than-thou people who are absolutely certain that they know what your intentions are better than you are. Also, I have absolutely no doubt that you are intelligent enough to immediately dismiss anyone who makes the argument "if you don't like every law that has even been passed in this country, you should leave" as what they are: fools. You simply cannot ever convince people who say stuff like that. Sorry, but it's true.
Yeah, it's going to be very difficult to get an F1. The best evidence you could give is evidence that truly is tied to India. As you correctly pointed out, money can be moved very quickly to the United States even when people cannot, as our bizarre and hypocritical policy is that free trade in every single commodity EXCEPT labor is good. Somehow free trade in labor is evil and would bring about the destruction of the Republic or something, so we have to tightly control immigration. As nonsensical as it is, that's the law, and immigration is an area where the government seems to hold all of the cards: USCIS is the only game in town, Congress will take absolutely forever to pass any kind of reform to the INA because people (like many on here) love to bask in the glory of being part of the collective and think things like "If I had to go through a lousy process, everyone should go through a lousy process," and quite frankly your Congressman/Senator/President/Etc. don't give a damn about your girlfriend because she can't vote and/or donate a million dollars to a reelection campaign. So yeah, it sucks, but you kinda have to get used to it. If your girlfriend owns a bunch of unmovable property such as real estate, has solid evidence that she is being sent to the US by a job that she will return to, can show that she absolutely cannot leave her family for whatever reason, or something like that, that would be much better evidence than a bank account loaded with money. Unfortunately, 1) it sounds like she may not have that stuff and 2) even if she did it is very, very far from guaranteed that she'd overcome an IO's suspicions.
Many people have told you that you should get a K-1 even though you say you have no intent to marry. Do not listen to them. If you truly have no intent on marrying this woman, it makes no sense to get a K-1. If you think you might want to do it but are not ready and simply want to spend more time with her but cannot get her to the US on some other visa, look for a different way to spend time with her. Maybe she could manage to go to a third country and you could visit her there. Or maybe instead of her practicing her English you might be interested in practicing your Hindi by spending some time in India. Perhaps a bilingual college-educated person such as yourself could even find a job in India.
If you do want to marry her, though, then get the K-1 (assuming you want to marry in the United States). I know the wait sounds really long, but at the end of the day it really isn't that bad. The emotional pain you will feel is like any other kind of pain: it hurts while you're feeling it but then as soon as it's over it is over. I'm sure you've been injured before. Even when you remember that injury, you can't truly experience the pain like you felt it then. Same goes with being apart for half a year. Yeah, it took eight whole months for me wife (then fiancee) to get her K-1 and come here. And it sucked at the time. But at the end of the day I get to spend the rest of my life with her and I'm with her pretty much every minute of my life that I'm not at work, so it's not like it bothers me that we were apart for so long anymore. You get over it the moment you see her at the airport.
Anyway, best of luck to you. I hope you find a way to be united with her.
I speak to my wife in Spanish and I am not Hispanic. Does my story hold up or do you think I'm lying?

Tickets bought for the 20th Carolina! We're finally going home!! And now, I'm searching for all my appliances at Amazon, lol. Things are getting better and better for us, I just can't wait to be with him!!! :dance:

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"Add up each line and enter the number here"
Answer = R
Buy one RFE get another one free.

Excuse me? You come here asking for help, you get an almost unanimous answer that your lawyer screwed up, and not only do you still question the "expertise" but you also slam and mock the hundreds and thousands of us who believe hiring a lawyer in most immigration cases is unnecessary?
Where do you come from and what is your education that you as an immigrant are so confident in your knowledge of the United States legal system and it's workings?
In fact, your assumption that a 'salvage' case is the time you don't need a lawyer is ridiculous. Those are the times when you should consult a lawyer because they may be able to help you find an answer you were unaware of. For most cases, especially for English speaking applicants, immigration forms are simple and hiring a lawyer would, indeed, be a waste of money. The instructions given by USCIS are, for the most part, clear and if that isn't easy enough for you to figure out you have forums like this that provide not only experienced answers but example forms to walk you through.
Name one case of a person on here that has filed and then had a USCIS employee claim that they never filed anything. Beyond that, even if it could possibly happen, you ask who is going to testify for you? Your evidence - an exact copy of everything you sent, signed and dated, a receipt from your package being sent with a guaranteed arrival tracking number, and cashed checks from USCIS.
I believe you put far too much confidence in a lawyer saving your bacon should it all hit the fan. Even with a hired lawyer, the owness for your petition is on you. Neither they nor the judge is going to be concerned with who your lawyer is or the fact it was, according to you, "his fault".

LOL funny you say that California is slow, when we filed for our K1 last March, Vermont was known as the slow one and California was approving people within 2 months. Later on, Vermont was able to catch up but CSC was still faster. Funny how they work, hopefully yours won't take too long to be approved. Good luck!

POE was a breeze, everything is being so great here. I couldn`t be any happier than this, I feel so relieved. Time to cuddle and watch a movie with my future husband. Hope you guys are okay... keep us updated!

Geez....calm down!!!
It is completely unnecessary to berate the OP about this. She obviously didn't know that this was something that was frowned upon. I think she gets it. As someone who understands what the OP wants to do, she is not bringing her SIL here merely to avoid day care costs.
Believe it or not, in some cultures it is customary for a member of the family to travel and help a couple who has just had a baby. Its not unusual for a sister, aunt, cousin, what have you to take time off from whatever they are doing to help out with a new addition to the family (and yes, some can take off months at a time). It is how we keep a sense of community. When my SIL had her baby 2 years ago in MD I took off work to go and be with her to 10 days. She didn't ask, I offered. The same offers came when I had my son in August.
Its a lot more than someone coming here to defer the costs of taking care of a child.

Okay, I'm assuming that you really are sincere when you're asking how to deal with mama in law? So, I'm going to just answer that question and ignore all the controversial parts of the post.
I'm going to assume that you meant the part about respecting Gretchen's parents; but the problem is, your actions don't seem to show that respect. If mama doesn't want Gretchen associating with certain people, I think it's disrespectful to totally ignore her wishes. Plus, you haven't even told Gretchen that the people will be at the wedding. Doesn't Gretchen get to help decide that? Would Gretchen want to go behind her mother's back? You're showing a lack of respect to both Gretchen and her mother.
You also have a problem with mama trying to influence Gretchen. If you have respect for the person Gretchen is, then you should have respect for her mother because there is probably nobody who has been more influential in her life. And to start talking about the gravy train also shows a lack of respect. You get to make all the decisions now because you're the man with the money. Do you seriously want to say that? What happened to the respect?
My advice is start showing real respect to her parents and even more importantly, show respect to Gretchen. Don't make decisions without her being a part of it. Don't deceive the mother in law. Think about the point of view of others. And do a lot more listening.
Hope that helps.

Whoa, I went through allll the pages, what a bunch of #######.
OP, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A HOT TOPIC ON VJ MAIN PAGE with a dumb/selfish post on a very sensitive forum, well done buddy, good job really.
If that's what you wanted, cause trouble, get people pissed and become famous in here, good job. You *so far* has 8 pages of people telling you how selfish *and stupid* is what you posted, you got it buddy.
I just wish that your precious wife doesn't become part of the *made-up* 40% of failed marriages. But, well, you went through it all right? You believe it should be harder the process, yet not fair? Something is missing here. What a nice thing to think AND tell people, especially in here, whoa! such a genious.
Will you ever come back here, to explain yourself? Or will you need a mod to come and rescue you? Anyway, have a great weekend everyone.

Whoa, I went through allll the pages, what a bunch of #######.
OP, CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE A HOT TOPIC ON VJ MAIN PAGE with a dumb/selfish post on a very sensitive forum, well done buddy, good job really.
If that's what you wanted, cause trouble, get people pissed and become famous in here, good job. You *so far* has 8 pages of people telling you how selfish *and stupid* is what you posted, you got it buddy.
I just wish that your precious wife doesn't become part of the *made-up* 40% of failed marriages. But, well, you went through it all right? You believe it should be harder the process, yet not fair? Something is missing here. What a nice thing to think AND tell people, especially in here, whoa! such a genious.
Will you ever come back here, to explain yourself? Or will you need a mod to come and rescue you? Anyway, have a great weekend everyone.

that's total bullcrap. of course people who are already done with the whole process dont give a fluck about the ones that didnt start or are in the process of it. let's be serious not everyone affords to visit their parteners often and the higher income is the stupidest idea ever. it would ruin the lifes of thousand of people. just because some of them use k1 visas for immigration fraud doesnt mean a harder process would stop it, and it doesnt mean the fraud is as often as you think. 180 days instead of 90 yeah that is somehow logical. but 90 days is more than enough for a civil marriage required for AOS. whoever wants to get married religious and with big wedding with rainbows and sunshines can do it whenever they want

first of all, the OP has not yet confirmed whether or not she originally entered with intent to marry and stay. As much as those who had to wait out the K1 process often think it's unfair to be able to AOS from a tourist visa within the US and avoid being apart from your loved one, there are occasions when a foreigner enters the country under a non-immigrant status - be it tourist, student, work, or VWP - without an intent to immigrate, but ends up marrying a USC and adjusting status. That is perfectly legal.
If the OP did in fact mean that he invited her to MOVE here permanently, and she used a tourist visa to come here, then yes - she should not try to AOS from that status. I don't think it's necessary to go on a rant quite yet about illegalities and visa fraud, when to me it seems pretty clear the OP is not aware of the regulations and requirements and is here to ask for advice to be able to choose the right way to continue.
jonDutch - if your wife entered the US using a tourist visa, with the intent to move here, marry you and stay here with you permamently, then she cannot adjust her status with the I-485. Using a non-immigrant visa to enter the US with the preconceived intent to immigrate here is not allowed.
What you can do is have her return to Brazil BEFORE her I-94 expires, and take the CR-1 route and apply for a spousal visa. It will take a while (9 months, give or take), but it will be cheaper, safer, and she won't have any periods of not being able to work once she gets to the US.
Read the guides here on VJ, take a look at the forms and instructions, and talk with your wife. Though AOS might seem like a tempting choise, if you planned for her to stay here permanently before she came, I personally don't think it is a risk worth taking.
Boa sorte para você e para a sua esposa!
Addition: Personally I see no reason to scare them with these "you have to get a lawyer" statements. If she did not have intent to stay, it's a perfectly straight forward AOS. If she did, she can return to Brazil before her I-94 expires and go for the CR-1.

you always make me smile hope your words are golden <3
actually here in romania you leave the embassy with the visa in hand. have to wait for it 1 hour or so. never heard of any problems around, read all reviews. and i WILL pass my interview cause i have a strong faith in my relationship, all the proofs required, nothing to hide, and of course, confidence still, the time to buy me a plane ticket is still in negotiations lol. the problem he was worried about was the one way or round trip. i can say he was really bugged about it :/

Now buddy, stay calm and relax, no more complaints, you have what you two wanted. Chill and congrats!

Wait, what the...? you have to deal with your ex, for you to take your fiancee home?? Buddy, I sense more threads coming lol
Did she pass CFO? and what you gonna do if they don't deliver the visa in time for your expected POE?
Anyway, congrats again.

Now buddy, stay calm and relax, no more complaints, you have what you two wanted. Chill and congrats!

Congrats!
PS Stop talking 'bout the ex... this should mean nothing to you, since you don't love her anymore